


The Exception

by Eyeswideshut



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 41
Words: 95,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11859918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyeswideshut/pseuds/Eyeswideshut
Summary: Tommy Joe Ratliff was only attracted to girls. Adam Lambert would never mess with a straight boy, they were more trouble then they were worth. Even knowing that, Adam was always Tommy's exception and Tommy was Adam's but neither of them realized that until too late. Now their relationship has been damaged. Can it be repaired and can they find their way back?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know any of them unfortunately. I make no money from the drivels of my imagination and I do this solely to get it out of my head and quit dreaming it. If you like it, great! Let me know. If not, thats cool.

“It's no use Ratliff, you can quit stalling and just go already.” Tommy Joe said aloud while looking in the mirror, still he hesitated. Dressed in black skinny jeans, his favorite creepers and a Jack Skellington shirt; he knew his clothes looked normal. His eyes… That was the problem. He hadn't heavily lined them; in fact, he wore no makeup at all. He had a couple days growth on his cheeks and heavy black circles around his eyes from the insomnia he couldn't seem to shake. He didn't know that he was ready for this party. Playing nice and pretending he was fine. Tommy Joe wondered how many more performances just like this one he had left in him. With a sigh he grabbed his keys and headed out. 

The party was going strong by the time he got there. He looked around trying to pretend he wasn't but he didn't see the person he was both dying to see and dreading seeing. He hugged his friends as he went by, only Sutan seemed to look deeper but before he could analyze or corner Tommy Joe, the pixieish guitar player was dragged to the makeshift stage for a jam session. 

Tommy Joe lost himself in the music and began to finally enjoy himself. He played with all his heart, pouring his emotions into every strum and chord. It wasn't until halfway through the third song that he felt THE stare, not at the group playing but specifically at him. Hiding behind his hair, Tommy looked up and around the room and his eyes locked on a pair of blue eyes. Immediately his fingers spasmed making a discordant sound before he caught back up with everyone. Adam's eyes raked over him repeatedly. He knew the other man’s purview missed nothing. 

As the group ended the song and began laughing and discussing the next song, Tommy saw Adam heading his way and he immediately put down the guitar, mumbled an excuse and quickly exited the stage; dodging around people to make sure he got away. He slipped out the back door and grabbed a beer, and immersed himself in a conversation, purposely hiding behind taller people so that when Adam looked out, he was hidden from view. He saw the other man disappear back inside and sighed in relief. 

Tommy knew he wouldn't be able to avoid the man forever but he just wasn't ready to face him. He was brought back to the conversation at hand when Ashley threw an elbow into his side. “You ok? “ she asked softly. Tommy nodded, hiding behind his hair. Rather than allow her to look too deep, he made an excuse he had to piss and headed inside. 

Nervously he looked around the room and saw Sutan locked in a conversation with Adam across the room. Both their backs were to him and he breathed a sigh of relief. He decided he needed some quiet and headed up the stairs, not noticing that a pair of blue eyes had spotted him and followed his movements. Tommy Joe let himself into a rarely used guest bedroom and took a swig of the fresh beer he didn't even remember grabbing. He moved over to the window and stared out it blindly; his mind painfully locked on visions of the past. He relived all of the kisses and touches and hair pulls of their friendship of yesterday, before he had gotten to this bitter and loveless place. Tears gathered and fell, unnoticed by him as he struggled to pull himself back from the abyss he seemed forever on the edge of. Tommy Joe wondered if he had been here long enough to allow him to sneak out without anyone saying anything. He froze when he heard the door click shut behind him and he felt that presence and those eyes focus on him. He stiffened and tried to put up the wall in his head to protect himself. 

“You have been avoiding me.” Adam finally said. Tommy merely shrugged. No use in lying; Adam would know better, he always did. “Are we going to talk about this?” Adam’s voice was hard, daring Tommy to say no. Tommy missed the gentle and loving Adam he never saw anymore. Now he had been replaced by this hard and angry man that Tommy didn't know.

“Nothing to talk about.” Tommy mumbled back. He rubbed a hand tiredly across his eyes. “How are things going with Queen?” He forced a normal tone of voice and turned as Adam moved up next to him. Adam studied him intently, eyes as always missing nothing. 

“They are fine but we aren't going to talk about Queen. We are going to talk about us, Tommy.” Adam said sternly. Tommy Joe sighed. 

“There is no us, Adam.” He said flatly. “You have made that abundantly clear.” Tommy couldn't stop the hurt bleeding into his tone and saw Adam register it. The taller man's eyes narrowed in response. 

“I think we may have both missed that memo. “ Adam responded finally. He reached out and gently took Tommy’s chin. Tommy flinched at the touch. “You haven't been sleeping.” The worry in his voice was evident.

“I never sleep, you know that.” Tommy tried to blow off the comment and act like it didn’t matter that Adam cared but it reopened those old wounds. He had slept, when he had Adam to cuddle with. Before Adam had decided he didn't need Tommy anymore and changed up the band and left Tommy Joe behind...alone.

Adam’s finger caressed his cheek and Tommy’s body was at war with itself. Part of him wanted Adam across the room and to never touch him again while the other part wanted to lean into the touch and fold himself in the other man’s arms. “You did with me.“ Adam said softly. Tommy stiffened until he was sure he would break if one touch fell on him and turned to face the window again. 

“Yeah, well, I did a lot of things with you back then and besides, I'm not with you so what does it matter.” His tone was bitter.

He felt Adam move behind him and felt the warmth of the solid body against his back. Tommy forced himself not to relax. “How did we get here, Glitterbaby? “ he heard Adam whisper against his hair. 

“People grow apart. Friendships break down. That's just how it is.” Tommy answered, his voice shaking slightly. Inside his heart was screaming that he wanted Adam back. He wanted it all back.

“We were never just friends, Glitterbaby.“ Adam’s voice was like a caress.

“Don’t.” That one word broke open the dam. “Don't call me that.“ Tommy said, his voice full of pain. “We aren’t those people anymore.”

“Don't you miss it? I miss it. I miss it all. The friendship, the camaraderie, the hugs and kisses. There has never been anyone else for me.”

“You never wanted me like that. “ Tommy argued. “You enjoyed the kisses and teases but you were never gonna hook up with the straight boy.“ Tommy’s voice was so bitter when he said straight. Tommy had been straight always and had never had reason to question that until Adam. He had found other men attractive of course but he had never been attracted to them. Adam however, well he was another story.

From the first time they met, Adam had thrown all expectations out the window, he invited a different normalcy into Tommy’s life. Tommy, who had always been a little bitter, played the asshole, "don’t touch me and kindly fuck off" position in life very well. The came Adam and he became a loving, fun loving, cuddly little sap. His family delighted in the changes and Tommy Joe found his happiness and his place in life. For a few short years, he was offered a taste of how wonderful life could be. Sure it wasn’t all roses. When Adam started dating Sauli, he definitely cooled the physical affection Tommy craved but he was still there. They were still together more often than not. And besides, Tommy Joe actually liked Sauli. Besides it wasn’t until Adam was gone that he realized he had wanted more. He wanted the romantic relationship as well. 

It hadn’t even occurred to Tommy Joe that he wanted that. Mainly because in all reality he already had it. He and Adam were constantly touching, kissing even full on make-out sessions. Mostly in front of fans but not always. There were plenty of backstage fumblings and tour bus release of tension episodes. Even those though, there was a thin line Tommy was always afraid to cross, and Adam, damn his self righteousness, knew it. Adam held himself back. So all the kissing and touching, never went below the belt offstage. They did have jerk off sessions where they did that together, but each doing themselves. Adam was very careful not to ever cross the line and make Tommy uncomfortable. And Tommy Joe for his part, just couldn’t seem to verbalize how much he wanted Adam to just blaze over that line and make Tommy his in every way. The blond hadn’t even realized how badly he wanted that until Adam was just gone.

“You never said I had the option.” Adam stepped even closer, forcing their bodies in contact. “Did I have the option, Tommy?“ He said softly and nuzzled Tommy’s neck. “Better yet, do I still have that option?” His lips lightly pressed the artery throbbing in Tommy's neck. A moan escaped the smaller mans mouth. “I was stupid. I didn't want the press to go nuts and give the religious freaks a case of saying ‘see you made Tommy gay’.”

Adam’s hand rubbed Tommy’s chest before sliding ever so slowly down. “Tell me to stop and I will. Tell me this isn't what you want and I will go away.” His husky voice murmured in Tommy’s ear. He grinded himself lightly against Tommy’s ass, letting the other man feel his growing erection. Tommy moaned again and turned his head toward Adam. Adam didn't hesitate and captured his lips, thrusting his tongue in Tommy’s mouth right as his hand brushed the crotch of Tommy’s jeans. The blond immediately arched into his palm and Adam increased the pressure while his tongue swirled through Tommy’s mouth. 

“I’ll make it so good for you glitterbaby.” Adam moaned. “Say yes, please say yes.”

Tommy Joe Ratliff was lost in sensation. There was no way in hell he could talk right now, much less formulate any kind of intelligent response. Even the word yes was beyond him. Adam’s touch and kiss set Tommy on fire. All those parts of himself he had thought were dead and gone, the parts that made him feel alive and worthwhile. They all blazed white hot, alive and pulsing, the second Adam had touched him. Unfortunately, Adam took his lack of response as a negative response. He immediately moved away, crossing the room in just a couple steps. 

“I’m sorry Tommy. I just can’t seem to help myself around you. I shouldn’t have come. I won’t touch you again.” He said sadly.

It took Tommy far too long to process what had just happened. By the time he was coming down enough from his high to process, Adam was leaving the room. He went from flying to drowning in one second of time. His soaring emotions dived and another little piece of his soul died. “Fuck you, Lambert.” he finally yelled. “Stay the fuck away from me.” Tears pouring down his face, he did the only thing he could, he ran. 

Dodging around people he made it out to his car and immediately jumped in and took off. It wasn’t until he got home that he realized he probably shouldn’t have driven. He had made it safely however. He grabbed a bottle of jack and went to his room. He used alcohol to help him sleep far too often now but nothing else worked and honestly the alcohol only worked twenty percent of the time anyway...and tonight wasn’t one of the lucky ones.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, Tommy Joe is in his dark place, Can Adam help?
> 
> I do not know or own them. I have no money and write for the enjoyment of it; please don't sue. Also don't steal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much dear readers. Your feedback and kudos just make me want to write more and faster. Annalex this one is for you. Enjoy.

Tommy spent the next month in a haze of alcohol and weed. He was rapidly losing what little mind and sense of self he had left. He wasn’t sleeping, the circles around his eyes were as large and dark as they had ever been. He quit responding to texts and messages from friends and family. He would have a twitter party every few days with his fans but always when he knew his friends would be asleep or busy so that he didn’t have to worry about them intruding into it. He didn't want to hear about Adam or think about him really. Tommy Joe suffered in silence, the way he always did. He did a lot of thinking even though he didn’t want to. He wondered if there was any other examples of soul mates who only one half of the relationship realized they were meant to be. Then again he didn’t know they were meant to be. Adam certainly didn’t think they were and wasn’t he the smart one? Plus soul mates? That couldn't be right, could it? 

His family called more and more often and he ignored them. Sutan gave home week and then came by daily after that but Tommy didn't open the door and pretended he wasn’t home. A week later Ashley and Liz came by but they received the same lack of greeting. Tommy just wanted to bury himself in a hole and never come out. His mind went into the deep dark places deep inside that Tommy Joe kept hidden from the world. His guitar lessons he had planned were cancelled and he apologized and made the excuse he wasn't well. He knew he probably lost some fans over it but he just couldn't pull himself out. 

Because he avoided Twitter during normal hours just in case, he missed the fans speculating on him and wondering if he was ok. Tommy Joe was clueless to the thousands of tweets, facebook messages and Instagram messages being sent to his friends and family asking if he was ok. It may not have made a difference if he had seen them. Tommy was lost in his own dark mind. 

Adam saw the flurry of messages about Tommy and heard his friends all talking about the guitarist but he didn't have any answers. It was his fault after all for crossing that line at the party. They hadn't seen each other for damn close to a year and hadn't really talked for even longer and the second he got Tommy alone he was all over him again. He had touched Tommy’s cock for crying out loud. Through the blonde's jeans of course but he had still done it. He wished he weren't so damn attracted to Tommy. The man would still be touring with him if that were the case. He just couldn’t be close and not touch anymore. 

It was ok when he was with Sauli although he could admit to himself only that more than once his mind had been on a different blond during sex. Tommy was just Tommy. There was no one else. Adam had fallen for straight boys before but never like this. It had been YEARS and every time he thought he was over it, bam here we were again. He knew Tommy wouldn’t want to hear from him. He had heard the fuck you and stay away from me comment that Tommy had thrown out. It broke his heart to know he was the cause of all this but he could only help by doing what Tommy Joe asked. He could stay away. 

Tommy studiously avoided any videos or audio where he would hear Adam’s voice. He was certain if he heard Adam at all, his body would just shatter into a million pieces and he would cease to be. Guess he had finally found his breaking point. Good to know. While the little guitarist studiously avoided everyone and thought no one really noticed, his friends gathered and talked and tried to figure out how to help him.

Knowing Adam had something to do with all this, Sutan tried to talk to Adam but the singer refused to listen. Sutan finally took matters into his own hands and dragged Adam out for the day and deposited him at Tommy’s door, swiped his phone so he had to at least use Tommy’s phone and drove off yelling that Adam should know better than to piss of Raja. 

Adam sighed and knocked on Tommy’s door wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. He was perplexed when no one answered. After knocking for several minutes he worked up the courage to use the long unused key. As soon as he opened the door, his fear and concern for Tommy overrode every other emotion. 

A haze of marijuana hung in the air and the apartment smelled musty and bad. Like a sick room. The kitchen didn't look like it had been touched lately though there was at least an unopened pack of bacon and some eggs and slightly stale bread that were decently fresh. The shades were all drawn on the windows. The living room had several empty bottles of booze and the remains of joints laying around. He headed deeper into the apartment to find Tommy. The more he saw, the more his concern grew. 

Tommy ignored the knocks and doorbell. In all honesty, he was in no condition to move. It was ten am and he had downed a fifth of jack and smoked at least an eighth of weed. He hadn’t slept in three days and now it seemed nothing was working, not the alcohol and certainly not the drugs. Tommy didn’t know the last time he had showered or eaten anything. He didn’t care anymore anyway. No one would miss him when he was gone. Except maybe a couple fans but it wasn’t like they would mourn or anything.

Adam entered Tommy’s bedroom and at once was glad he had a key to the front door. His Tommy lay sprawled out in his bed on top of the covers. The room stank of sweat, alcohol and fear. Tommy didn’t move a bit and Adam was immediately afraid that he was too late but then he saw Tommy’s foot twitch and settle into a more comfortable position. The blue briefs were saggy and the singer could see how much weight Tommy had lost. It wasn't like his glitterbaby could lose any to begin with. Adam wondered who had been looking after Tommy, but from the looks of things, no one had; not even Tommy. Making a decision, he left the room and headed for the kitchen. 

Adam cleaned the living room and kitchen quietly. He opened all the windows and doors to air out the place, as fresh air started to move through, he started a pot of coffee. Then he re-entered Tommy’s bedroom and went into the bathroom, starting a warm shower. He moved over to the bed and gently picked Tommy up and carried him into the bathroom.

Tommy blearily looked up at Adam and sighed happily. “You’re here.” he slurred, sure it was a dream. “Don’t go.” his eyes leaked tears. This was a happy dream and he had them so rarely now. Tommy was desperate to hold on to it. 

Adam smiled down at the pixie. “I’m not going anywhere Pretty Kitty. I am going to take care of you.” He wasn’t sure what was going on or what would be said once Tommy was sober but he only knew Tommy needed him and it wasn’t like he could ever deny the guitarist anything. He set Tommy on the toilet and checked the water temp, it was perfect. He eyed the shower and the blond. Realizing that Tommy was never going to be able to hold himself up in the shower, Adam made a snap decision. 

He stripped off his own clothes and helped Tommy remove his briefs and then held Tommy gently as he got them both into the shower. Adam lovingly washed Tommy from head to toe, studiously ignoring the moans coming from the blond. He carefully used a washcloth to make sure he wasn’t crossing any lines. For the first time perhaps ever, Tommy’s presence wasn’t giving Adam a hard on. He was still the most beautiful thing Adam had ever seen but the blond just seemed so broken that desire never entered his mind. Tommy was loose and limp when Adam finished and carried him out and sat him back on the toilet. He wrapped Tommy in a towel and quickly dried himself off and slipped back on his boxers and t shirt. 

“Stay here just a minute baby.” Adam said softly and kissed Tommy’s forehead. He went back into the bedroom and threw open the blinds and windows. He found Tommy right where he had left him and gently dried the other man before helping him into his own pair of underwear and tshirt. Picking his kitty up again and trying not to focus on how light the blond was, he sat Tommy on the couch and made him a large cup of coffee just the way he knew the other man liked it. “Drink this, baby, but be careful, it's hot.” He waited until Tommy took a cautious sip and then went into the kitchen to cook the bacon, eggs and toast he found there. He brought Tommy the finished plate of food and topped off his coffee. He wanted Tommy to sleep but he needed the coffee to sober him up first. He hoped it worked. “Eat up Kitty. I’m going to clean up your room and then you are gonna get some sleep.” He ignored the snort the other man gave.

Adam changed the sheets and started the ones he had just removed in the washer with extra detergent. He made short work of cleaning and airing out the bedroom. Once it smelled better and not like a sick room, Adam went back to see Tommy hadn’t touched the food. He sat next to his Pretty Kitty. “Baby, please eat for me.”

“Not hngrrry.” Tommy slurred. His head fell onto Adam’s shoulder and Tommy Joe let out a contented sigh. 

“Please, baby, for me.” Adam pleaded and picked up the fork with some scrambled eggs and held it up to Tommy’s mouth. Tommy’s bloodshot eyes focused on him for a second. “That's it baby.” Adam encouraged. Tommy never could resist Adam and his mouth opened and he allowed Adam to feed him. Adam slowly fed him the one egg, piece of bacon and buttered toast and kissed his forehead gently when Tommy took the last bite. “Thank you baby.” Adam said with a soft smile. 

He had wanted to make more food for Tommy but was afraid the blond wouldn’t be able to eat it. God only knows how long it had been since he had actually eaten anything. He cleaned up after breakfast and then picked Tommy up and carried him back into the clean bedroom. “My own private doll,” he thought to himself and smiled. He lay Tommy Joe gently on the bed and pulled the sheets up over him. “Sleep glitterbaby.”

“Dnt gooo.” Tommy slurred. “Need you. Never schleep wiffout you. Misch youu so musch it huurtszz.”

“You sure baby?” Adam asked concerned. He really wanted to be sure he didn’t do something unwelcome. Adam was hoping it was true but dreading the come down once Tommy was sober. 

“Please.” Tommy asked. Adam nodded and climbed into the bed next to him and pulled Tommy into his arms. Adam sang softly to him, mostly humming but the occasional soft lyric. 

Tommy immediately curled into the larger man and sighed with contentment. Adam cradled him just right and their legs tangled together. Tommy fell into a deep and healing sleep almost immediately. Adam just lay watching him sleep and thinking. He lay still just holding Tommy for almost 14 hours. And he didn't think he would regret a second of the time spent holding the love of his life, his Pretty Kitty.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconnection?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do not know or own either of them, mores the pity. I would love to meet them but would make an idiot of myself I'm sure. I'm broke so please don't sue me. If you like what I write, let me know, it fuels my muse.
> 
> I will say, this story took a very unexpected turn. That's when you know the story is writing itself, I am just the messenger. With that said, at least the story resolved my problem of figuring out how to make the story longer.
> 
> If anyone is interested in being a beta or being a sounding board for ideas, let me know.
> 
> Now lets get to what you are really here to read...

Chapter 3

Tommy slowly rejoined the land of the living. He was warm and comfortable and needed to use the bathroom badly. He took stock of himself as he woke and stretched. He froze when he felt the arm around his waist. He frantically tried to remember the night before but nothing popped out. The past few days were a blur of alcohol and marijuana. The body was bigger than his own and he felt a hard on against his ass so obviously a man. “Shit fuck bugger!” he thought. “Did I seriously give random man my ass cherry?” he thought crudely. Then he looked down at the arm. Even if he hadn’t immediately recognized the tattoos, he would have known the muscled arm covered with soft red hairs and freckles. Adam. Adam was here. Well if that wasn't the mind fuck of the century. 

His heart sang with joy but his mind tumbled about frantically trying to remember. He felt Adam shift behind him and do a slow grind against his ass. Tommy was unable to help the whimper that escaped his lips. He felt Adam kiss the top of his head.

“Morning baby.” Adam murmured. Tommy froze. Had they? They better not have when Tommy couldn’t remember it. That moment would have to live in his spank bank forever. When had Adam gotten here? At least his room smelled better. Oh shit. Had Adam gone all OCD on his place? Adam tightened his grip a bit and kissed Tommy’s head again. Tommy lurched out of the bed, groaning as his hangover made him regret his choices. Ignoring it for a moment in favor of his panic attack he moved quickly into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. 

Adam instantly sat up on the bed and his mind races thinking of how much worse he could have just made things. Tommy didn't want to see him much less find him sleeping with him. Shit. Now what? “Tommy.” He said just loud enough for the other man to hear. “Nothing happened. I promise. I wouldn't do that to you.” Then to himself he added “even though I would love to.”

Tommy Joe stood in the bathroom staring at himself in the mirror. Pupils full blown in his panic, circles around his eyes still visible but much better than the last time he had looked. Scruffy looking with several days growth on his cheeks and chin, and now that he noticed it, it itched something fierce. He was clean with clean clothes on. No idea how that had happened. He pulled out his razor and took a few calming minutes to relieve his bladder, take some painkillers for his head and then shave. 

When he couldn't hesitate any longer he took a deep breath and opened the door. Adam sat up on the bed, lower half covered by the sheet and top half gloriously bare. He was looking worriedly at the door. Once it opened his eyes met Tommy’s and then immediately dropped. “I swear nothing happened glitter… I mean Tommy.” He saw Tommy flinch at the partial nickname. “Everyone was so worried about you… “

“Not everyone.” Tommy Joe said in a tone that Adam couldn't read. “You never tried to check on me.” He was fairly certain he was correct because that would have been burned into his brain. 

“I didn't think you would appreciate it.” Adam’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. “After the last time, you told me to stay away from you, so I did. I was just as worried as everyone else. So I came here yesterday morning and helped get you cleaned up and then you asked me to stay so I just held you while you slept.” He let Tommy think it was his idea to be here for now. Adam didn't want Tommy to be mad at Sutan. 

Tommy’s eyes narrowed. “Helped me clean up, how?” 

Adam swallowed hard. “I uh… in the shower… just cleaning you and washing your hair.” Now that Tommy was alert and looking at him, it was hard to stop the hard on at the thought of washing a naked Tommy from head to toe. 

Why oh why had he been so drunk he would have no memory of Adam in a shower with him? Damnit. That would have given him jerk off material for the rest of his life. He sighed. “Why are you here, Lambert? It isn't really like I'm part of your crew anymore so you can kindly fuck off.” He said bitterly. 

Adam flinched when his pretty kitty called him by his surname. “Tommy Joe, just because I’m touring with Queen doesn't make me care less about you.” Adam said sadly and then to himself added “I’ve been in love with you too long not to care.” He thought a moment. “If you really want me gone, I will go. I’m not here to hurt you. Just eat something. You’ve lost at least 15 pounds and you didn't have any spare weight to begin with.”

Knowing it was more like 20 pounds, Tommy didn't argue. Internally he was overjoyed to get to spend whatever little time he could with Adam but externally he hid that nugget of truth. He had let Adam break him down too much already. Sober for the first time in weeks albeit with a hangover from hell, Tommy Joe headed into the kitchen to allow Adam to get up. In all reality, he was afraid that seeing Adam in any state of undress more than he already had would lower his teetering resolve. 

He searched the fridge but didn't have much of anything to make. When was the last time he had been to the store. He picked up his phone and then put it back down. He couldn't face anyone yet. Adam stepped out in a pair of black jeans and was pulling a t shirt over his head. Shit! That was a sight. Watching those inches of freckled skin being covered by the soft, light blue cotton shirt. Tommy Joe swallowed hard. 

He leaned against the counter trying to act like he felt nothing. “I don't really have anything and I’m sure you can’t wait for groceries to be delivered so I promise I will eat and you can go now.” The last thing his heart wanted was for Adam to leave but he just couldn't figure out how to get what he wanted without getting his heart shredded again. 

“How about our diner?” Adam suggested nervously. There was a 24 hour diner around the corner from Tommy's that they had frequented back in the day. That had been their spot. Tommy didn't know how to feel about Adam suggesting there.

“Our?” Tommy Joe raised an eyebrow making it clear that Adam had no right to say OUR anything. Adam flushed in response but said nothing else. Finally Tommy shrugged. “Let me get dressed.” He carefully moved past Adam and threw on whatever clean clothes he could find. While he was at it, he gathered a load to wash and got that started and the sheets put into the dryer. At least he would have some clean clothes. 

Tommy followed Adam silently to the singers car and then looked worriedly back at his own. Maybe they shouldn't ride together. After all, who knows how this was gonna go. Adam noticed his hesitation. “Get in, Tommy.” Adam said softly. “I promise I will bring you home.” Finally Tommy nodded and got in the car. There was silence the whole way and both men were thinking of times when they laughed together as the rode along or just touched. Those were happier times for them both.

They arrived at the diner and took seats. Each ordered coffee with Adam getting a garden omelet and Tommy Joe ordering the morning sampler. Again it was like old times without the laughter and fun. Once the waiter departed, silence reigned. Finally Adam cleared his throat. “So, you want to tell me why you are drinking yourself to death and ignoring everyone who cares about you?” He asked softly.

“So you want to tell me what part of dropping me as a friend should make me inclined to think you give a fuck?” Tommy Joe shot back, his eyes flashing with anger. 

“I didn’t.” Adam tried to defend, knowing they had beaten this argument into the ground. “I just needed a fresh band. I never dropped you as a friend.” 

“Bullshit. This isn’t about the fucking band, Lambert.” Tommy’s eyes were shooting fire at this point. He paused while their coffee was delivered. “This is about us. I didn’t ever think I was going to be in your band forever and besides now that you are touring with Queen, I wouldn’t be needed anyway. That's what the fuck I have been trying to tell you all along. It isn’t about the band. Its about us.” 

“What about us, Tommy? We are still friends.” Adam said in confusion.

“The fuck we are Lambert. Do you have a clue what is going on in my life? When is the last time you fucking called?”

Adam sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Can we not do this? It's always so angry between us now. This, this right here is why I don’t call.” He gestured between them. 

“My life isn’t a fucking picnic and it isn’t all happy skipping throughout the world. This is me, take it or leave it.”

“This wasn’t always you, Tommy Joe. You used to be fun and loving.”

“Yeah? And you used to be my best friend. You were the one person who I could completely be me with. Guess those days are gone too.” Tommy honestly didn’t know how to say what he needed to say. It wasn’t the fact Adam had dropped him from the band. I mean, sure it hurt but if he had stayed friends, Tommy Joe would have been fine. But Adam didn’t. He stopped calling and stopped coming around. They only saw each other at parties of friends. Adam kept in touch with everyone else just not Tommy. It hurt. It hurt a lot.

Adam let the comment go seeing the validity in what Tommy had said. He reached across the table and took Tommy’s hand, not letting the smaller man pull away. “I didn't mean to hurt you, glitterbaby.” He said softly. Tommy just froze. “I guess there is a lot for each of us to say. I would really like to fix this,” he gestured between them, “and find our friendship again.”

Tommy sighed and looked down. “I don’t know if that's possible anymore, Adam.” Adam beamed a megawatt smile when Tommy Joe used his name. He was finally able to pull away from Adam’s hand as the waitress delivered their food. He picked up his fork and really just moved his eggs around. He had no desire to eat and his stomach just churned. He really wished he had some jack. He couldn’t even look out the windows since it was dark out and he could only see his own reflection and Adam’s which only made the nervousness in his stomach worse.

“Tommy, can we try?” Adam asked in a voice that Tommy knew meant he was scared Tommy was going to say no. 

“Fine.” Tommy Joe finally answered. “But no promises.” He added and Adam nodded. “How long are you in town for?”

“We have about a month break before we go back out on tour.” 

“I’m sure you are excited.” Tommy couldn’t help the slightly bitter tone and took a deep breath trying to let it go. “How has it been so far?” He asked in a more normal tone of voice. He listened as Adam told him about the tour. He lightened and smiled tenderly at the things he talked about. Tommy lost himself in watching Adam’s lips form words and twitch into smiles. He got butterflies in his stomach at the sight and to try to ease his nervous tummy, he took a bite of his french toast. 

Adam noticed after a few minutes that Tommy was barely eating. “We are going to have to do something about that, TJ.” he said mildly and nodded toward the full plate. “You are far too thin and you need to be eating something.”

Tommy nodded, knowing Adam was right but his stomach churned so. “I get nauseated all the time.” He admitted softly. “I can’t keep much down. It’s been like this a while now.”

“Tommy has anyone been taking care of you?”

“No. No one other than you ever wanted that job. And you didn’t want it anymore so…” 

Adam reached for his hand again. “It's not that I didn’t want the job, glitterbaby.” he hesitated on saying much more in such a public setting. He thought for a bit. “Tell you what, Tommy Joe, you need someone to look after you and help you heal; we both need to air things out so we can re-find what we have lost. What if I said you should come stay with me while I am on break so that we can work on us?”

“I don’t know that that is such a good idea, Adam. We don’t exactly get along anymore.”

“Perhaps not. But we can relearn. We had love between us at one time and I find it hard to believe we can’t find that again.” While he meant brotherly love; Adam couldn’t deny that he had always loved Tommy in a much more romantic way. He knew that having the guitarist stay with him could be dangerous. It was likely that his feelings for Tommy would finally be aired during that time. How his pretty kitty would react to that, Adam had no clue.

A month? A month living in the same house with Adam. Tommy Joe didn’t know if he could do that. He wanted to. He longed to reestablish his relationship with Adam. Maybe he couldn’t have him romantically but they could perhaps find what they had lost. It may mean coming clean about how he felt though. That terrified him. Finally the thought of a month with Adam was too hard to turn down and he nodded. “OK. We will need to go get some clothes and then we can go.” 

Adam gave Tommy Joe his patented thousand watt smile, Tommy felt his heart flutter back to life a bit. Tommy just hoped he made it out the other side without dying.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy Joe and Adam begin to work through things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own them both mwahahahahaha. Seriously though, I will likely never meet them, I am exceedingly broke, this is all my imagination and please don't steal.
> 
> If you like what I write, let me know. It fuels my muse. 
> 
> Still looking for a beta or someone to bounce ideas off. Let me know if you are interested.
> 
> Now for what you are here for...

Chapter 4

The pair stopped at Tommy’s and took the time to dry his clothes and pack what he would need for a few weeks at least. Thank God, Raja had dropped off his car in the night. For a few moments, the awkwardness disappeared as they worked together to gather everything and they anticipated each other's movements. They had done this so many times in the past, it was easy to fall back into old habits. Finally ready, Tommy looked behind as he stood at the door. He was equal parts terrified and exhilarated at this twist fate had for him. He sighed and shut the door, locking it behind him. 

Tommy Joe headed for Adam’s car and carefully placed his guitar cases in the backseat. Adam had already loaded his other things in the trunk. They rode in silence to Adam’s house; the easy familiarity of the previous hour gone. Adam set his belongings in the guest room beside his own. He wanted Tommy Joe to sleep in his bed so that he could make sure the blond slept but he didn't want to push too hard either and besides that would be dangerous territory. 

“A couple ground rules,” Adam stated. “No booze and no drugs.” He had known how Tommy might react to that but the man had been overusing to sleep and it was hurting him in the long run. “I want you to sleep naturally and figure out what is wrong with your stomach but that can't happen if you are drunk and high. Can you do that?”

Tommy Joe glared for a minute, testing Adam’s resolve but the larger man didn't waver which let Tommy know how serious he was. Adam had a point, Tommy knew he did but he couldn't remember a time he had been completely sober around Adam for any length of time since halfway through GlamNation tour. It made him very nervous to consider being sober all the time. Finally he sighed. “And when I can't sleep?”

“We will figure it out together. Second rule, you have to resume all lessons via Skype and reschedule those you have cancelled… yes I know about that,” Adam added, responding to Tommy’s look. “Your fans have been blowing us up in worry.” Tommy nodded with his head down. “Glitterbaby,” this was said so softly, Tommy barely heard it, “if it all gets to be too much and you need space or time or even a hug, you have to tell me, ok? I can't read you anymore.” His voice stayed soft and held an almost wounded tone. Tommy’s beautiful chocolate brown eyes met his for a moment. Adam couldn't place what was in Tommy’s eyes right then. The emotion didn't fit and Adam worried he had overstepped his line. He held his breath but then Tommy nodded. 

“Anything else?” Tommy Joe asked, his tone sounding defeated. Adam stepped closer and touched Tommy’s face gently for a moment. 

“I just want you better and happier. I'm not doing any of this to hurt you.”

“I know. It's gonna be awkward though.”

“When did it get awkward between us?” Adam asked, seriously wondering. “When did this happen?”

“It had been building, Adam. It wasn’t overnight. It started with Sauli, you pulled away which I got but it allowed some of the fans, the ones who didn’t like me anyway, to attack me some. That hurt. Then you dropped me from the band and pulled away completely. You were my best friend, Adam and then you were gone.” Tommy’s tone was a mixture of bitter and resigned. “It's not like we are going to get through all of it today. There are years of stuff to process. Let's just take it a step at a time.”

Adam nodded. “I’ll let you get settled in. I'm right next door if you need anything. I'm going to try to catch some sleep.” Tommy nodded in response, his eyes guarded and wary and Adam hated that he didn't recognize his pretty kitty anymore. Had his dating Sauli damaged their friendship? How? He thought Sauli and Tommy Joe had gotten along well. Maybe he should reach out to Sauli. He thought about that as he stripped to his briefs and climbed into bed but he dismissed it. He could always call later but it wasn't the time, he needed more information before he involved Sauli. He sent a brief text to everyone letting them know that he had Tommy and that the two were going to be at Adam’s for the foreseeable future until they worked some things out. He got a chorus of thank God messages and then he was out like a light. 

Tommy unpacked his belongings and got himself settled into the familiar room. He had crashed here many times before but it had an empty feeling instead of the welcoming one he used to get. He settled himself cross legged on the bed and pulled out his laptop to check his schedule. He was supposed to have two lessons today. A 30 minute one with a repeat customer and a new one that was 45 minutes. Janet, the 30 minute lesson, had been learning from him for a couple months and they would just be continuing. The 45 minute lesson though...he looked at the song she wanted to learn. Her name was Cassie and she wanted to learn Fever. He groaned. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad though since Adam was here. He prepared the lessons and sent confirmations via private message. 

Tommy then went back through his lessons both missed and cancelled for the last month. He sent apologies and asked when they could be rescheduled. Once he had finally sent the last one he logged on to twitter to catch up on what had been happening. He saw some of his most loyal fans had most definitely been tweeting about him and their worry stood out. His heart lightened a bit at the words they posted. "Sorry for the silence guys. Had some stuff going on but i’m back to it. Thanks for your worry." He posted that after adding a couple emojis. Then he finally lay back in the bed. He drifted off into a restless sleep.

Adam shot up out of bed in a panic at the shout. It took him a second and he was halfway to the door before his mind caught up and he realized it was Tommy Joe in the next room. He ran into the other man’s room and found him thrashing in the bed and screaming himself hoarse. Adam got on the bed next to him. “Tommy, Tommy! Wake up!” He said loudly and touched Tommy gently. Tommy Joe threw up a fist and fought back in his sleep. Adam reacted instinctively and wrapped Tommy into his arms. “It’s ok glitterbaby, I’ve got you.” he said softly and began to sing softly. Tommy calmed slowly and stilled. His eyes fluttered and he woke up. He blinked up at Adam in confusion.

“Adam?” he couldn't figure out why Adam was in his bed, holding him at that. Slowly he realized this wasn't his room. He remembered where he was and why. 

“You were screaming, baby.” Adam said worriedly. 

Tommy blushed and rubbed a hand across his face. “Yeah, I do that. It was just a nightmare. I'm fine, go on back to bed.” Tommy said. When Adam just gave him a look, Tommy gave a watery smile. “Really, it won't happen again tonight.” He failed to add that the reason it wouldn't happen again is due to him not sleeping anymore. He refused to admit that the dreams were always about Adam leaving him alone. It was never the same dream but that was always the theme. Adam holding hands with Sauli and walking away laughing, or Adam boarding a plane while TSA restrained Tommy. It was always something holding he and Adam apart. He kept his face straight and met Adam’s searching gaze. Finally Adam nodded and let him go. 

Adam left the room, deep in thought. He settled back into his bed and lay staring at the ceiling. Tommy Joe had always had insomnia issues, that was no secret but this was something else. He had never heard Tommy scream like that. Something was very wrong with his pretty kitty. 

Tommy held himself still and pretended he was going back to sleep. He so wanted the comfort of Adam’s arms and missed them the second they were gone. He waited a full half hour before getting up and creeping past Adam’s room. He headed to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of jack. He stood there with the bottle in his hand for several minutes before sighing and putting it back. He had promised. He grabbed a coke out of the fridge instead and headed into the media room to watch a movie. 

Adam heard Tommy Joe get up and head down the stairs and into the kitchen. He took a couple minutes wondering what the other man was doing. He heard the faint sound of the tv and had his answer. So the other man wasn't going back to sleep after all. Adam lay for a bit just thinking and then decided he might as well join the blonde. 

He headed down the stairs and through the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water on the way past and entered the media room. Tommy Joe Ratliff was seated on the end of the couch and had Tombstone playing. Tommy looked up when he entered. Adam just raised an eyebrow and then took a seat. 

“Sorry if I kept you from going back to sleep.” Tommy said softly. 

“Its ok. We haven't had a movie night in a long time.“ Adam said with a smile. “I’ve missed them.” He settled in to watch the movie. 

There was a long pause while they both watch Wyatt find Doc and then very softly Tommy said, “I have too.” 

Adam and Tommy Joe watch the movie together in companionable silence. They subtly shifted closer to one another as they got up for bathroom breaks or refreshments. By the time Johnny Ringo was shot, Adam’s right thigh was pressed against Tommy’s left and Adam had his arm around the back of the couch. Every so often giving into temptation and running a hand over Tommy's hair. When the movie ended they sat letting the credits roll. 

“So you gonna tell me what the nightmare was all about?” Adam finally asked softly.

“It was no biggie, don’t worry about it..” Tommy said back and pulled back into himself.

Adam watched as the light that had built in Tommy’s eyes faded and the man withdrew into himself and his own mind. “Not that, glitterbaby.” Adam said softly, afraid to talk too loudly and destroy the fragile peace they had. “If you aren’t ready to tell me, say that but please, no lies between us.” His eyes begged for that. Tommy Joe met his eyes and his emotions were in a whirlwind. Adam could read the doubt but he couldn’t name the others.

Finally Tommy nodded. “I’m not ready to talk about that yet.” He said softly. He was terrified. If Adam learned what the dreams were about he would probably freak out. Adam had his damn pride about being with a straight boy. He wouldn’t count himself as Tommy’s exception the way Tommy did. “I won’t lie but I can’t...not that...not yet.”

“Ok, Tommy. Ok. How long have these dreams been going on? If you can answer that.”

“A long time. I’ve had them for years honestly but they have been worse for the last year and now they keep me from the little bit of sleep I can get.”

Adam was horrified. “Years??” He had had no idea. “Is it all the time?” No wonder his pretty kitty didn’t sleep much.

“No. It wasn’t much at first but like I said they have gotten worse.” It had started when Adam had started dating Sauli. That was when Tommy had begun to spend his nights drinking instead of sleeping. It had taken months before he realized the Adam’s relationship had anything to do with the dreams. By then, Adam had been gloriously happy in his relationship and Tommy had started to drift into the background and away from his babyboy.

“Is it the same dream every time?”

“No it isn’t the same dream just the same theme.” 

Sensing they were getting too close to the topic Tommy didn’t want to discuss, Adam gave him a reprieve. “Do you have any lessons today?” He watched Tommy breathe a sigh of relief.

“Yes, two. I have sent messages to the others I cancelled to reschedule. I also checked in on Twitter and let everyone know I was ok.” He paused. “This isn’t going to be fun, you know that right?” Tommy asked. “It’s likely to be painful airing all this out. There is a lot of hurt and emotions...on my side at least and I’m guessing on yours. It could get brutal. It could destroy what little is left. Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“Yes.” Adam didn’t even hesitate. “Tommy Joe, I miss you.” He said wistfully. “Don’t you miss me? We were the best of friends and now we don’t talk. It hurts. I miss that closeness. I used to be able to tell you anything and you understood. Hell, half the time I didn’t have to tell you, you just knew.”

“I miss it too.” Tommy said back, “so fucking much.” He whispered. This time when Adam stroked his hair, Tommy leaned into it. Adam smiled.

“Can I sit in on your lesson today? I want to see what they are all about.”

“Yes, that's fine.” Tommy gave a small smile.

“Thank you for coming here, kitty. Thank you for being willing to work on our...friendship.” He had almost said relationship but caught himself. 

Their conversation eased both their minds a bit. It wasn’t declarations of undying love but it was at least both of them admitting they wanted this and were willing to go through the pain to fix them. Maybe they could be saved. Maybe they could find their way back together. Time would tell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guitar lessons, fans, kisses and a barefoot Adam. Can things get better than that?
> 
> Mine, Admonny is all mine, mwhahahaha....ok so I lied. damnit. 
> 
> This story is fiction. It is my imaginiations of what has/will happen between them. I do not know them, I make no money off this and am in fact broke like ramen for dinner broke so don't sue me and don't steal my work cause that is my hard work and love. If you like what I write, let me know, it fuels my muse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Vanessa. Your comment made my day. My roommate and I thought that reviews don't get much better than that. I'm glad my story is speaking to you. Welcome to the Adommy fandom. We are a pretty cool group if I say so myself. I watch Adommy vids daily (I'm Fucking You Tonight is probably my fav) and I wonder how it is possible to play act that well on stage night after night and NOT be attracted. Then I look at the changes between the albums and when Tommy switched to guitar and Adam started dating Sauli and their stage presence changed and the affection was missing for the most part. It is that loss that drives this story. That and the lack of interaction (for the most part) online today which worries me. I fear there is a distance between them and it breaks my heart. It appears from my outsiders perspective that Tommy immediately likes and retweets anything Adam posts on Instagram, twitter etc while Adam waits days to respond to Tommy's direct tweets. It (again just from my perspective) looks as if Tommy still wants in and Adam is just shutting him out. It makes me super sad.
> 
> I love that Adam fronts for Queen now and they put on such an amazing show. I'm so proud of what he has accomplished but I just miss them. I miss their friendship. Even if they didn't go back to the kissing and flirting; I just miss the closeness. You could tell during GlamNation that they loved each other even if only as friends. I feel like they don't anymore and this story is me dealing with that loss if that makes sense. I would be over the moon if Adam ever announced a solo tour and had Tommy back on the stage with him. I think a lot of fans would. I also think Tommy got a lot of undeserved hatred back in the day and I really don't understand why. I honestly think a lot of it was jealousy. We all know us girls can be spiteful when we see someone else having what we want. 
> 
> As for this all being imaginary, Dumbledore once said “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” The emotions and love we saw with Adommy may well have been for stage show but it was/is real for the fans and that is just fine by me.

Chapter 5

Adam sat across the room from Tommy letting him have a semblance of privacy for his lesson. Besides he didn't want the girls to know he was there and make it about himself. He knew Monte offered lessons via Skype as well but he had never been present while anyone gave lessons and he was curious how it worked. He watched Tommy prepare his lesson plan and get everything ready to go. Tommy Joe was all business it appeared and it made Adam smile. This was Tommy’s element. Music. It’s what gave the other man life. Tommy Joe was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a Metallica t-shirt. His feet were bare and he had only rimmed his eyes with light eye liner. When Adam had cocked an eyebrow at the make up for a lesson, Tommy Joe had laughed and said fans had expectations. He wasn’t wrong.

Tommy for his part was focused on what he was doing but his eyes moved to Adam more than he wanted to admit. The singer wore a well worn pair of blue jeans that hung snugly yet a bit low on his trim hips. He had on a black button down shirt that was only buttoned from about mid chest down. Only a couple of rings, no makeup, hair a medium brown with a hint of his natural red showing through and bare feet made Tommy’s stomach twirl progressively faster. It was like Adam had no idea the effect he had on people. The black shirt setting off the blue in his eyes perfectly. The open chest of the shirt allowing a bit of his chest hair to show through and those goddamn bare feet. Why the fuck Adam’s bare feet could have his effect on Tommy Joe, he would never understand. It wasn’t like feet were particularly pretty. I mean feet were feet, you know? They were kinda ugly...usually. 

Tommy looked down at his own bare feet. They didn’t have the elegance and manliness of Adam’s. Like the rest of him, his feet were boney. He had badly chipped metallic blue on his toenails. Adam’s on the other hand was pristine and painted jet black. Tommy’s toenails were a little ragged. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gone for a pedicure. Probably had been with Adam. Everything he had ever done to pamper himself had been because of Adam. He wondered why the other man had taken such an interest in Tommy. He wasn’t as protective and babying and loving to the rest of the crew, only to Tommy. Then again, he had kept in touch with the rest of the crew and not with Tommy so perhaps not being as close had its advantages. 

At precisely 1 he sent Cassie a message on skype asking if she was ready. She replied immediately letting him know she had been waiting and he hit call. When the call connected he was on camera with a blonde woman who immediately started with the OHMYGODs when she saw him. Tommy Joe had to fight not to roll his eyes. He hated it when his clients reacted like this. He just smiled a little and looked up at Adam who was fighting laughter. “Cassie, calm down. Its just me and I’m just your guitar teacher, ok?” 

“But...but….but you’re TOMMY JOE RATLIFF! You’ve KISSED Adam Lambert. OHMYGOD, I can’t believe I’m talking to you right now!” 

“You aren’t, you are yelling at him.” Adam said under his breath and it took everything Tommy had not to laugh at Adam right then. 

“Those days are long gone, Cassie.” Tommy finally interrupted her. “Now are you ready to start learning guitar?” He kept his tone polite and professional and Adam could tell he had dealt with this before. His respect for Tommy Joe’s patience went up. 

“I am OMIGOSH I'm like so excited. Do you still see Adam?”

“Cassie, he and I are friends, of course we see each other.” He looked over the top of his laptop and realized Adam’s eyes were boring into his own. Damn the man was sex on legs, and speaking of legs, why did Adam’s seem like they were miles long? Adam gave a little smirk and then went back to his phone. “Now, I know you are excited and you are obviously a fan which is awesome but I really want you to get what you paid for so let's get started.”

With that, Tommy Joe took charge of the lesson and for the most part was able to keep it on track. She still had ramblings but he pulled her back and worked through chords and progressions. The song was somehow easier to play with Adam sitting across the room. After 40 of the 45 minutes had passed, Tommy encouraged Cassie to play what she had learned so far. It wasn’t much but Tommy said good job when deserved and patiently corrected finger placement when needed. 

He noticed Adam stretch and get up and head toward the kitchen, Tommy Joe swallowed hard at the sight. He didn’t know how anyone could be in front of Adam and not find the man insanely attractive. It actually made it better in his eyes that Adam wasn’t all that aware of it. He was still too hung up on his adolescent chubby self. Tommy Joe didn’t care what Adam looked like. He was hooked because it was Adam. There was no other reason. He smiled with appreciation when he saw Adam return carrying a bottle of water for him as well. 

“Tommy! Are you listening to me?” Cassie’s voice intruded and he immediately ripped his eyes off Adam and returned to the screen. 

“I apologize, Cassie, I was distracted.” Tommy said.

Adam put the drink down in front of Tommy and the sleeve of his shirt pulled up just enough to flash his eye of horus tattoo to the camera. He didn’t even realize that it was visible for a second until an ear splitting shriek came from the computer, making both men jump. “OH MY GOD!! ADAM! YOU ARE WITH ADAM! I LOVE YOU ADAM!” Tommy blanched immediately and he realized what had happened. His eyes met Adam’s over the computer monitor.

Adam mouthed the word sorry. Tommy raised an eyebrow asking without words how Adam wanted to handle it. Adam hesitated and then shrugged and moved to sit next to Tommy Joe on the couch. “Hey there, Cassie. Sorry to interrupt your lesson. Tommy and I were gonna hang out today. It’s nice to meet you though. Great job on the playing.” He ruffled Tommy’s hair playfully and Tommy Joe batted at his hands back and stuck his tongue out. It wasn’t the easy familiarity of the past, it was more like a stage performance for a fan. They both knew it but they slipped into their rolls easily, pretending all the hurt and anxiety weren’t there. 

“You guys are SOOOO cute!” Cassie squealed. “I have so many questions…” 

Before she could get started, Tommy Joe cut her off. “Cassie, this has been a great first lesson. I have to go now as our time is up. Let me know if you want to continue the lessons. Have a great day!” He killed their connection and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well...that was….fucking awkward.” They both laughed and Tommy Joe hit the ignore when the skype let him know Cassie was trying to call back. “I think she may have to go on the list of no way can I teach her.”

“Are they all like that?” Adam asked sitting back on the couch some and automatically pulling Tommy Joe against him. Tommy for his part snuggled in like times of old while they talked while Adam rubbed his head. 

“No, sometimes they are but usually they have some chill. I think it is best you stay hidden for the rest of them...except my next one. Janet’s cool and she won’t wig. I’d actually like you to meet her.”

“Ok, pretty kitty.” Adam said with a slight smile. “What time is her lesson?”

“Any minute now actually.” Tommy said, looking at his watch and then realizing the position they were in, cleared his throat and sat up stiffly. “Sorry, old habits die hard I guess.”

Adam nodded, feeling his inner turmoil but masking it. He loved having Tommy Joe snuggled up to him. It was like his kitty belonged there, he just fit so perfectly. This wasn’t his glitterbaby anymore though. His loving and snuggly Tommy Joe had been replaced by this unhappy, hard, angry man and for a few minutes Adam had forgotten that. He sat up and shifted, putting a small bit of distance between them. He wanted his old Tommy back. He wanted Tommy to give his lesson and then spend the rest of the day snuggled up watching Velvet Goldmine together. He missed the easy familiarity. He missed the kisses. God, Tommy’s kisses were like a drug. Adam could never get enough of Tommy’s mouth. 

Adam was staring at his mouth like his mouth was an oasis and Adam had been in the desert for a month. It had all of Tommy’s blood moving south and he could feel himself getting hard. He wanted to close the distance now between them and claim Adam’s lips. In all honesty, Tommy Joe would be happy to climb onto Adam’s lap right now and try to combine them to make one person. He wanted to spend the night relearning Adam’s mouth and cuddling. That wasn’t possible though. That couldn’t happen. There was far too much that needed to be said before Tommy Joe could allow that. Tommy licked his lips about to say something to that effect but the reaction to his tongue….well now Tommy was definitely hard. Adam was learning forward, seemingly without even realizing it. 

The spell was broken when Tommy’s skype alerted him for an incoming call. He looked down and realized it was past time for Janet and she was calling him. Tommy ran a hand through his hair and answered the call. “Hey, Janet. Sorry for the delay.” He knew Adam was out of camera range but he did want to introduce them today. He thought they would get along well. Janet was a fan that Tommy Joe could absolutely see himself hanging with. She was a cool fucking chick.

“Hey T man. You were a little late and I got worried.” She said, smiling at him. 

“Yeah, last one ran over and it was one of those fucking all caps conversations, you know what I mean?”

Janet laughed. “You mean the OMG TOMMY I LOVE YOU, ones or the OMG YOU PLAYED FOR ADAM AND KNOW HIM. ones.” They both laughed. Janet looked at Tommy over her computer and appeared to be studying him. “Something is a little different T man. You look...i don’t know...different. Like not happier but like you aren’t hiding anymore. I was worried.” She admitted openly. If he were totally honest, Janet had become a friend and Tommy could actually see skyping with her not including a lesson. He had no romantic interest in her because there was only room for Adam in his heart and she was engaged anyway but she was good people as they say.

“Sorry I worried you.” Tommy said with an apologetic look before meeting eyes with Adam. “A friend decided to snap me out of it.” he added, “I’m working my way through some stuff.” He looked back at the screen. “Janet, I want you to meet my friend.” He pulled Adam back into the view of the camera. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw who it was but she just smiled.

“Adam, it’s nice to meet you.” She said. “Thanks for helping T man out. I was worried.”

“Anytime.” Adam responded and ruffled Tommy’s hair again. “Well, I will leave you to your lesson. Nice meeting you, Janet.”

Adam moved back over to his chair and Tommy Joe commenced the lesson. He gave Janet an extra 10 minutes since he was late and they had talked through a few. Janet wouldn’t be needing lessons much longer, she was a quick study and Tommy would miss her when she stopped. They said their goodbyes and Tommy finally closed his laptop. He looked up to find Adam watching him with a slight smile on his face. Tommy Joe just raised an eyebrow in question.

“I think we need a relax day.” Adam said decisively. “How about I order some tacos and we put in a movie?” 

That sounded like heaven to Tommy Joe but he knew there were conversations they needed to have. He needed to tell Adam how he really felt about him and what the loss of Adam had done to him. He needed to be honest. He needed the opportunity to mend his bruised, battered and broken heart. What Adam suggested sounded amazing but without the honesty is was a bandaid to treat a bullet wound. “Adam…” he started.

Adam’s heart sank at the way his name came out of the other’s mouth. It looked like his idea was about to get shot down. Damnit! Just one night of relax time. Was that so fucking much to ask? He stepped toward Tommy Joe and put a finger over his lips, stopping the words from coming out. “Stop right there, kitty.” He said softly and watched Tommy’s eyes widen at the touch, the lack of space between them and being hushed in such a way and both of their minds returned to a certain Fever performance when Adam put his finger in Tommy’s mouth.. “I know there are things that need to be said. Both of us need to air out things. But we also both need a chance to relax and remind us this is worth working through. Just for today, can we just put a pause in all the hurt and anger and just be? Just for today, let me order those tacos; we will have a movie marathon and just allow ourselves to relax. I need to remember how good it can be before I tackle the bad. Can we please just do that. I promise tomorrow we can start on the hard shit.”

Tommy hesitated just a hair too long and saw the hurt flicker across Adam’s face. Adam went to move away but Tommy Joe grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “I have so much that I need to say to you, Adam. So much shit I need to work through but if you need the reminder today, you can have it. It sounds wonderful and yes very relaxing. I agree to treat today as if none of the bad and the distance happened if you agree tomorrow we start to tackle the other side. Can we do that?” 

Adam nodded in relief and bit his lip in thought. “If we are treating today as if none of the bad has happened…” he hesitated. Tommy Joe got a soft smile on his face as he realized what Adam was wondering. He took one step forward, bringing their bodies in contact and gently pulled Adam’s head down and their lips met. He heard Adam groan into his mouth when Tommy’s opened to allow Adam’s tongue in and it was one of the single hottest sounds Tommy had ever heard. As hard as it was, Adam kept his head and pulled back after a moment to press their foreheads together. “Thank you, glitterbaby.”

Tommy Joe Ratliff smiled sweetly at Adam and backed up a step. “Anytime, babyboy.” He said, seeing the delighted expression on Adam’s face at the old nickname. “Now where are my fucking tacos bitch? You mentioned them like 5 minutes ago.” He whined and Adam laughed making Tommy join in at the happy sound that melted his heart. He had missed that laugh, so much. Yes there was time to bare his soul but today was just going to be for him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffiness, sexy times and heart ache. All during a day of tacos and movies. 
> 
> I do not know or own any of them though if I had Tommy alone....i'm just saying. I'm broke and I write because I love to. Please don't sue me. This came from my head and to the best of my knowledge is not real (such a pity).
> 
> Let me know if you like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me!

Chapter 6

Thirty minutes later and they had several take out containers of Mexican food spread out on the table in front of them and a couple sodas. Tommy was looking through a stack of movies deciding what was first. “Rent?” He finally said, figuring they could start light and get heavier. When Adam nodded, Tommy Joe put in the movie and moved back to the couch. He picked up a taco and bit in and just about moaned at the taste. “Fuck, that's good.” He said with a mouth full of beef. Adam took one look and laughed.

“I’m glad I chose well then.” Adam answered as he picked up his own and bit in. Tommy wasn’t kidding, they were good. They ate though Adam noticed Tommy didn't eat much and they watched, each singing along to the songs. Tommy shifted and hesitated for a moment. Adam looked at him and noticed. “It’s okay, Tommy Joe.” Adam opened his arm and Tommy hesitantly leaned against him, curling in like he used to. They relaxed quietly watching the movie with Tommy’s head tucked under Adam’s chin and the singer running his hand repeatedly through Tommy’s hair. 

When the movie finished, Tommy put in Velvet Goldmine and resumed his seat. He was enjoying the closeness, he wouldn't lie but he didn't know how they were going to get past the rift between them. It kept his mind occupied. He loved Adam. He had loved him for a very long time but he didn't know what the future held for them. It wasn't like they were on tour together anymore so even if they did work through all this and even if Adam also wanted this to become more, Tommy Joe would still be here, countries apart from Adam. He didn't know if he could handle that. He had always been the one away on tour from anyone he dated. Besides, the chances of Adam wanting the same thing weren't good anyway. 

Adam had at one time offered Tommy a peace of mind he had never had before. It was like his dominant personality allowed Tommy Joe to just relax and BE for the first time in his life. Tommy didn't have to think about anything, he knew Adam would protect him. It allowed him to become loving and cuddly because he wasn't having to worry all the time. Tommy hid his worry behind his piss off type attitude and Adam seemed to know. When he was wrapped in Adam’s arms back then, he was safe and cared for. Now being in those same arms just caused a swirl of emotions and a bit of nausea. 

“I can hear you thinking down there glitterbaby.” Adam said softly. “Just for today, let go of all the worry. We have all month if we need it to work through everything and decide how our friendship should go forward but we both agreed today was just to remind us of the past.” Adam used his index finger and tipped Tommy’s chin up. His mouth came down and covered Tommy’s. His tongue licked out, asking for permission to enter. 

Tommy’s eyes widened when Adam tipped up his chin; he knew what was coming. They had done this plenty of times on stage. When Adam’s lips covered his and Tommy felt his tongue seeking entrance he immediately opened up and his hand convulsively fisted the front of Adam’s shirt. Was this really happening? Was Adam really kissing him like this again? Adam tightened his arm around Tommy Joe and his left hand cupped Tommy’s face while his right found its way under Tommy’s shirt and smoothed over his stomach and chest. 

Adam was surprised when Tommy suddenly moved away only to return after straddling him. His arms wrapped possessively around Tommy’s waist and he pulled his pretty kitty tight against him. Their cocks were each hard, Adam could feel Tommy’s against his stomach just like he knew Tommy could feel Adam’s own arousal pressing against his ass. A deep throaty moan burst from him when Tommy ground down against his hardness. “Fuck, kitty! You are going to be the death of me.” He said between kisses. 

“Less talk, more kisses. “ Tommy Joe responded, lost in his gaze of lust, he moved his lips to Adam’s throat and feeling a surge of lust at Adam’s deep chuckle. He whined low in his throat, a rather needy sound of its own and he found a rhythm of humping Adam that was giving them both the friction they needed. He felt Adam began to thrust up against him and he leaned back slightly, Adam’s hands guiding his movement with his hands on Tommy’s hips. Tommy threw his head back and let out a loud moan. 

The sight of Tommy Joe, head thrown back and moving himself so perfectly against Adam’s jean covered cock was a sight to behold. Tommy was vocal in his appreciation but their new position couldn't be doing much for Tommy. Leaning back the way he was, his cock wasn't getting any friction. 

Tommy Joe seemed to realize that too and reached between them to pop the button on his jeans. Adam licked his lips, almost desperate now for more. He wondered if Tommy would let him jack him off but Tommy kept his penis tucked into his pants though it looked like quite a tight fit. Adam growled his frustration and grabbed Tommy by the back of the neck, jerking him forward to capture his lips again and thrusting his tongue in Tommy’s mouth the way he wished he was thrusting his cock in the blonde’s ass. Without pausing to think, he reached between them and shooed Tommy’s hand out of the way and wrapped a fist around Tommy’s hardness and began jacking him. 

Tommy instantly let out a loud moan and leaned back again, grinding harder against Adam to give the larger man what he needed as well. “So hot, your hand on my cock, fuck, needed this so bad, so fucking hot, Adam.” He chanted and bit his lip. “Feels so good, babyboy. Gonna… “

“Come on Tommy Joe, my pretty kitty, cum for me. Let me see it.” Adam said, his voice low and rough from passion. Tommy biting his lip had Adam almost on the edge. He thrust up against Tommy again and felt Tommy’s sticky orgasm coat his hand and his own orgasm hit. Tommy Joe collapsed against him and he moved his hand and wrapped both arms around his kitty. He captured Tommy’s mouth again but this time the kiss was loving more than passionate. He couldn't believe he had cum in his pants like a teenager but it wasn't like he hadn't fantasized about Tommy for years so actually touching Tommy’s cock, feeling his ass and hearing the moans; well it wasn't any wonder really. 

“Well I hadn't planned on that today but I’m definitely not complaining.” Adam said with an amused tone. Tommy responded by biting Adam’s neck lightly. No he wasn't complaining either. 

Tommy Joe remained blissfully curled against Adam’s chest letting his breathing calm from his unexpected orgasm. He knew they needed to get up and clean up but he didn't want to move. He felt a vibration against his leg and Adam shifted, pulling out his phone. He answered and Tommy detected a strange tone. 

“Greg, hey, I was gonna call you tonight. “ Adam said into the phone and shifted his eyes away from Tommy Joe. He nudged Tommy until the other man moved off his lap. “I have a friend visiting for awhile so I am not going to have too much time to get together.” He saw Tommy cock an eyebrow. “Can I call you back, it's not a great time right now?” He listened for a moment. “No, I really do want to see you but my friend needs me right now and I need to be here.” 

There was another long pause and Tommy began to get a sick feeling. That taco was churning. Tommy continued listening but pulled away completely to the other end of couch and zipped back up his pants. “I don't think you coming over is such a great idea. Yes my friend is a guy...Greg, don't do this right now. He’s a very old friend. I will call you tonight and explain everything.” He must have gotten the response he wanted and hung up. Tommy stared at Adam waiting for the other man to look up. 

“Who was that?” Tommy asked evenly. 

“My friend, Greg.” Adam said, looking away. 

“When you lie, you have a tell you know.” Tommy responded. “So let's see if I have this right, Greg is your latest bed partner and you don't want him over here because you are busy taking care of fucked up little Tommy Joe when you could be fucking Greg instead. Did I miss anything?” Tommy’s voice got sharper and louder as he went. 

“So?” Adam raised his voice a bit, both pissed that Tommy had figured it out and slightly guilty but couldn't really place why. “What does that matter?”

Tommy Joe Ratliff exploded. “Are you fucking kidding me? You have my fucking cum on your hand and you ask that?” He jumped up and headed toward the door. “Fuck you, Lambert. Go fuck your twink.” He stormed out of the media room and headed for the front door. Adam jumped up to follow.

“What the fuck did I do wrong?” He yelled back. “Why is it a problem who I fuck?”

“Talk to me when my cum isn’t on your fucking hand.” Tommy shot back reaching the door and opening it to find a large dark skinned and haired man standing and preparing to knock. The man was at least 6’4 with short closely trimmed black hair. The man was muscular and wore glasses over his blue eyes. “Can I help you?” Tommy snapped. Adam drew up next to him ready to fight and then realized someone was standing at the door. 

“I should have known it was Tommy Joe Ratliff.” The guy said in a very snide tone. “That is the only way Adam would have put me off.”

“Greg!” Adam said in surprise. “I said I would call you later.” Adam frowned at the other man.

Tommy Joe locked down the surge of jealousy he felt. It wasn’t the time and he didn’t want either Adam or this other man to see him break down. “So, this is Greg.” Tommy gave a small smile and held out his hand to shake. The man who it appeared was larger than Adam event looked down at his hand like it was something he scraped off his boot; lip curling in disgust. Tommy hesitated and then drew his hand back. 

“I was already here!” Greg said sharply to Adam. Shooting a glance at Tommy out of the corner of his eye he added, “you have never turned down having your dick sucked before.”

“Greg!” Adam was torn. Greg was the man he had been having something of a relationship with for the past year or so. It had started casually with Greg being his PA on tour but it had grown. They had become close. There was rapidly becoming a point that Adam was going to declare this a relationship. It appeared Greg was already at that point. On the other side, there was Tommy. His Tommy Joe. Tommy had been part of Adam’s life and heart for so long, it was hard for him to remember a time when that wasn’t the case. “Tommy is my friend. Don’t act like this.”

“Well you two apparently need some time to talk.” Tommy said. “I”m gonna go to my room.”

“Don’t get too comfortable.” The man spat out. 

Tommy Joe just shrugged and held it in. He headed for his bedroom and shut the door carefully. He curled in a ball on the bed and let the tears begin. He sobbed quietly into the pillow and cried out the shattered remains of his tattered heart. He didn’t know or care what was happening downstairs, other than that the man who was the opposite of him in every way had Adam’s body and maybe even his heart. He had been a fool to even hope. Adam would never be his and he would never again be whole and happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens. Tommy finds someone to talk to, Adam asserts his dominance and dear readers, you start to get a feel for Greg's motives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know or own them. This is entirely fiction. I make no money off this and I have no money anyway so don't sue me. If you like what you read, please let me know, it makes all the difference and I honestly do write faster when I hear from people. 
> 
> Vanessa, thank you! Your reviews (and everyone else) keep me going. I'm glad we were on the same page...for a time anyway lol. I was reading back over my story and had an epiphany of sorts and realized 1. Adam wouldn't keep himself single on the chance of Tommy and 2. Greg was a necessary character. He serves a vital purpose and if you haven't realized it yet, you will soon.

Chapter 7

Tommy Joe cried himself out and the churning in his stomach became too much for him, he lurched to the bathroom and threw up all the tacos he had eaten. When he finished, he rinsed his mouth and picked up his phone. He typed out a text. -I need you. I’m at Adam’s. Can you pick me up? I gotta get out of here.- not even a minute later his phone dinged out a response.--be there in 20-- Tommy Joe smiled slightly. 

He changed his clothes and got ready to go out. It was time to get over Adam. The man was never going to be his. He had never even answered the numerous texts and calls Tommy had sent to him, begging for them to talk over the last year. That silence from Adam should have told him everything he needed to know but still his heart made him hang on. Longing for Adam to just see what had been in front of him all along. It was never going to happen. Adam had long since moved on, it was time for Tommy Joe to do the same. He dressed accordingly in his favorite skinny jeans, a form fitting grey tee that made the brown in his eyes pop out. He carefully applied some shimmery shadow and his trademark heavy black eyeliner and two coats of mascara. A touch of nude lip gloss and he was done. 

“Why are you here?” Adam asked angrily, crossing his arms over his chest, and surreptitiously wiped his hand off on his shirt. He glared at Greg. “And what the hell was that shit? Tommy is my guest. You had no right to speak to him in that way and no right to just show up here.”

“You’ve never minded before.” Greg spat out. “I have freely come and gone from your house for over a year and you have never once complained until now, until HE is here. Christ, Adam, the man never even returns your texts or calls or anything and you just cling to the belief that one day he will decide he isn’t straight anymore and wants you. It is never gonna happen, Adam. How much more does he have to do before you get over the stupid straight boy?” 

Adam reeled back like he had been hit. “What the hell, Greg? My friendship with him is NONE of your business. Tommy Joe Ratliff has been a part of my life for far longer than you have and he will always have a piece of my heart, whether I like it or not. He is here because he needs to be right now. He is welcome to stay in my house as long as he wants to and you will not set the terms for that.” Adam stepped closer, crowding Greg’s space. 

“Because you seem to have forgotten a few things, let me remind you. First this is MY house and I decide who and when people come and go. Second, you are my employee. We may have found our way to each other in the bedroom but you work for me. I am your boss first, not your boyfriend. We may have been headed in that direction but we weren’t there yet and if you have a problem with Tommy then we will never get there. Lastly, you are well aware that I don’t take orders well.” Adam’s eyes flashed with anger, “I am in charge, always. You agreed to that when this started and don’t think just because you suck a good cock that changes anything. I will never be the submissive in this relationship and you will never call the shots. You knew that from the beginning so don’t pretend this is all new to you.”

Greg’s expression became chastened and he looked down. He reached forward to cup Adam’s dick through his trousers and Adam grabbed his hand and slung it away. “I’m sorry.” He said softly, looking at Adam out of the corner of his eye. “I just got so jealous.” Greg said softly, knowing how to play up the submissive attitude for Adam. “I know that Tommy will always have a piece of your heart and he isn’t interested and I hate to see you dying a little each time you deal with him. I….I love you Adam and I want to see you happy. Please let me.” He decided to use a little subtle manipulation.

“You will be nice to him. He needs some time to dry out a bit and clear his head. He is going to have whatever help I can give him and if you have a problem with that, leave now.” 

It wasn’t like Adam’s love for Tommy was a big secret. There wasn’t a fan alive of Adam’s who wasn’t equal parts jealous and curious of the duo’s relationship. At one time they had been closer than anything but that had changed, in no small part thanks to Greg and he intended to keep it that way. He had waited and wanted Adam for so long. He wasn’t giving him up, especially to the glitterbitch. ”Of course, Adam. I can get along with him. I would do anything for you.” Greg pleaded. The doorbell rang and Adam finally moved away from him and gave him a moment to straighten his clothes. 

Adam opened the door and looked at Isaac in surprise. “Hey, long time man, what are you doing here?”

“Isaac! Perfect timing fucker.” Tommy said with obvious affection in his tone as he moved past Adam and hugged Isaac. 

“Yeah well, it isn't everyday I get a date with ohmygoditstommyjoe!” Isaac jokingly squealed, noticing Adam’s face get stormy. He looked at the other guy in the room who was unconsciously touching Adam in a possessive way, marking his territory. Isaac fought to show no reaction. This guy wasn't Adam’s type at all. What the hell was going on? 

Tommy forced a laugh before turning back to Adam and Greg. “I figured you two needed some time to talk and no offence but I don't really want to be around for it so I called Isaac to take me out. Bitch better put out after too.” He ducked the playful fist Isaac threw his way and missed the pained expression on Adam’s face. Isaac however noticed it and grew even more curious. Greg also noticed it and frowned.

Isaac threw an arm around Tommy Joe and started to drag him out to the car. “I’ll bring him home later.” He threw over his shoulder. He and Tommy Joe got into the car and one look in the rearview mirror showed Adam staring after him while random guy tried to get Adam’s attention. “Ok so what the hell was that all about?” Isaac asked as they got to the main road.

“Dude showed up this morning all pissy because Adam was with me. I don’t know.” Tommy said and closed his eyes in the seat. Isaac glanced over at him. 

“Uh huh.” He finally said. “I think it is past time we have a talk, Tommy Boy. It’s Miller Time I think.”

“No.” Tommy said softly and Isaac looked at him in surprise. “I promised Adam no drinking while I was staying with him. Suggest somewhere else and I’ll tell you everything.” He said with obvious exhaustion in his voice. 

Isaac glanced over again. What the hell was going on? Finally he nodded and took the next right. He parked outside of a burger joint and turned to look at Tommy Joe, noticing the dark circles for the first time. His friend was not doing well, not at all. He cuffed Tommy lightly on the head and the guitarist's eyes shot open and glared at him.

“What was that for, fucker?”

“For not reaching out to me sooner.” Isaac answered simply. Tommy just shrugged. “Come on, if I can’t have a beer, I at least want a milkshake.” He led the way inside and over to a booth in the corner away from everyone. They each ordered their favorite shake and a large plate of fries to share and waited for the waitress to vacate. “So, Tommy Boy, what’s going on?” Isaac asked with the concern evident in his voice.

Tommy took a deep breath. This was it. “I have...um...well I have realized that there is more to Adam and me than friendship but it's really too late to realize that.” He looked down. “It's been ripping me up for awhile.”

“Start from the beginning.” Isaac encouraged. He had known there was more to the duo. Hell everyone knew except the two involved. Besides with Tommy professing to everyone that he was straight, everything was on pause until he admitted his feelings to himself. Looks like that finally happened. “When did you realize it?”

“I think it started when he and Sauli started dating but I didn’t really accept it until after I was out of the band. Having him go on tour without me hurt. It hurt a lot. More than I would have thought. I have always had sleep issues, you know that.” Tommy explained and Isaac nodded, he had been woken by the other man’s screams and nightmares more than once while they were on the road. Tommy’s sleep issues were well known. “They got a lot worse after I was out of the band. I went from having trouble sleeping every few nights to every night. Every night I had nightmares about Adam leaving me, like, you know, even as friends.” Tommy took a deep breath and paused while the waitress dropped off their order. He dumped some ketchup on the edge of the plate and poured some salt into the ketchup. He dipped a fry and nibbled it even though his stomach really didn’t want it.

“Then Adam stopped responding to my messages and calls. He just quit answering me a little over a year ago. I realized then that I….I….” He couldn’t get the words to come out. Tommy had long since admitted to himself that he love Adam but he had never told anyone else.

“It's ok, TJ. You realized you love him.” Isaac said softly and Tommy gave him a grateful look and nodded biting his lip. “You’ve loved him for a long time TJ.” He watched his friend nod again. Isaac had wanted to see his friends together. They were so perfect together, able to anticipate each other so well. They were in sync always. There were times he had wanted to bash both their heads in. Adam had been jealous of his relationship with TJ, as if TJ would ever want a different man. If anyone would get TJ to swing for the other team it was Adam. Adam and no one else. Yes TJ was comfortable with his sexuality and so was Isaac which enabled the two men to be flirty together but it meant nothing. Even the women that TJ dated held no real interest for him. He dated them, wined them, dined them and fucked them but none of them ever held sway over his heart. There was only room for one there, and Adam had that shit on lockdown since day one.

He thought back to seeing the duo together and remembered how blazing hot they were. When the two of them kissed it was like the world went up in flames around Adam and Tommy Joe. He had watched Adam watch Tommy looking for any sign the other man was interested and he watched Tommy profess he was straight and then melt into Adam’s arms. He had tried to talk to Tommy back then and get him to admit his feelings but Sauli was around and Tommy wasn’t about to do that. He was too noble a man to ever intentionally break up someone’s happiness for his own; even if he had been able to accept his feelings back then.

“Yeah. Yes I have.” Tommy said quietly.”I’ve been so lost for so long, Isaac. He doesn’t talk to me and he was the only peace I’ve had, you know? At Lisa’s party last month we had a moment where something kinda happened.” He let the story spill out. He told Isaac everything. Every little detail about his relationship with Adam and Isaac just quietly let him pour out his soul. When Tommy finally finished Isaac just sat quietly for a few moments. 

“You know Adam loves you. He always has Tommy. I don’t know why he quit responding to you but that is definitely something you should talk to him about. If you are serious about moving on then go out on some dates or whatever but I really think you should pour all this out to Adam first. You both deserve the truth and closure if that is what is going to happen but I don’t think it will. I think he just needs to know you are all in, you know?”

The two of them talked for hours. Meanwhile at Adam’s house, while Adam showered, Greg schemed. So Adam wanted the glitterbitch to dry out? Well he wouldn’t take kindly to Tommy drinking then would he? Greg reached into the liquor cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Jack. He cracked the seal and poured half of the bottle down the sink and then put the bottle back. It wasn’t obvious but if Adam went looking, Tommy’s favorite liquor had been drunk. He gave a nasty smile. Adam was his. Period. He had worked at this too long and done too much to separate Adam and Tommy Joe for it to fail now.  
Isaac dropped Tommy Joe back at the house hours later and kissed his cheek. “I’m here for whatever you need,” He told Tommy. “Just remember what I said. He wouldn’t ever be able to resist you. Good luck Tommy Boy. Call me.”

Tommy Joe entered the house, happy the door had been left unlocked for him. He entered warily and found Adam and Greg sitting at the dining table with dinner spread out in front of them. There was pasta and some sort of salad and they eat had glasses of wine. They were talking softly and when Greg realized they weren’t alone anymore, he covered Adam’s hand with his own. “We were just having a quiet dinner, if you would like to join us.” He said with a fake smile on his face.

“No thanks.” Tommy said. “Isaac and I got some food while we were out.” He looked between them and tried to decipher the hurt look Adam had on his face. “I see things have calmed down here. I’m gonna head up and play guitar for awhile. Night.”

Almost without realizing it, Adam stood up. “You don’t have to go.” He burst out with. “Greg isn’t staying tonight, he just wanted to make us dinner.” He gestured to the table. “Are you sure you don’t want some? I’m sorry our day was interrupted.”

Tommy Joe looked down at the table and then at the man that owned his heart. Talking it all out with Isaac had helped more than he thought it would. He was calmer than he had been for awhile. Just knowing that he wasn’t alone anymore helped. He gave a gentle smile. “I’m really not hungry but thank you.” His eyes spoke with the warmth of his feelings but Adam was too anxious to notice, Greg however, did and narrowed his eyes. Apparently it was going to take some more work. The glitterbitch was never going to end up with Adam. Never.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg tries to get in the way, Adam begins to have some doubts and begins the chase of Tommy and Tommy, well, he finds his inner strength. 
> 
> I do not know or own them. I make no money from this. I am broke so don't sue me and please don't steal my work. If you like it let me know, your comments fuel my muse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Vanessa pointed out, you guys may want to know my name. My name is MJ and I'm a 42 year old, happily married woman, and yes hubby is an Adam fan as well and he has to listen to Adam every day and watch all my adommy videos with me. He is a saint. Just don't tell him I said that. 
> 
> I have written all kinds of fanfiction most of my life. It has always been such a joy for me. You guys are so awesome and I love all of you so much for your kudos and your comments. You are all muse fuel and my muse and my joy. I can't wait everyday for my writing time because I can't wait to see your reactions. Thank you all so much. Especially my new text friend. You mean the world to me and I'm so glad you reached out! Now lets get to the real reason you are here.

Chapter 8  
Tommy sat on his bed plucking out a tune on his acoustic guitar. He had left the door cracked open but he was lost in his own world of music and wasn’t paying any attention. He was writing out a song of healing for himself; something that made him feel powerful and brave. Nothing was going to come of the song; he didn't intend it to ever be heard, it was just his way of working through his emotions. His rhythm changed and picked up some bluesy tones. He glanced up and noticed his door was now wide open and Adam leaned against the door frame. His eyes were intent as he watched Tommy Joe play. “Hey, you guys finish dinner? “ Tommy asked. 

Adam was lost in a sea of emotion. Tommy Joe was so incredibly talented and it was like the guitarist had no idea of his own worth or talent. Adam wished Tommy could see himself the way Adam saw him. He was amazing. “Yeah.“ he finally said. “Greg is cleaning up and then he will head home. That was really good. We should write some songs together.” Adam meant it. He would love to create music with Tommy Joe, creating something to last forever and bind them together forever. Adam couldn’t think of anything better than that.

Tommy Joe blushed slightly and hid behind his hair. “I’m just fucking around. I'm not that good at writing music. Not like you.” 

Adam stepped forward and hesitantly touched Tommy’s face. “You are amazing, Tommy Joe Ratliff, I wish you saw it too.” He stared into Tommy’s eyes trying to make sure Tommy saw the truth in his eyes.

Tommy blushed again, not knowing how to take Adam anymore. He looked up and saw Greg in the doorway glaring. “Hey, Greg.” He said to alert Adam to the other man’s presence. Adam didn't seem to care much, he didn't move away from Tommy and instead kept staring into Tommy’s eyes as if he were trying to figure something out. Tommy bit his lip out of nervousness and he saw Adam’s eyes focus there and the singer’s nostrils flared slightly. Tommy’s mind flashed back to earlier in the day when he had bit his lip during their encounter and the reaction it had had on Adam.

Greg stepped into his room and put his arm possessively over Adam’s shoulder. “Interesting song.” He commented dismissively. “Not my taste which is more along the lines of Adam’s but cool… I guess.” He said. 

Tommy noticed Adam tense when the other man touched him. He frowned slightly. Had he misread this situation completely? Were they not even a couple? “Yeah, I’ve always had very different musical tastes than Adam.” He finally replied. It was the truth and everyone knew that. His favorite band was Metallica for fucks sake.

“Then it's great that you finally have a chance to pursue your own interests instead of having to tag along with Adam’s.” Greg said and the tone of it seemed off to Tommy Joe. He was positive it was an insult of some sort but couldn't quite figure out the game he was being forced into. “Adam, I was going to stop and pick you up some of that hummus you and I tried that time and I looked to see if you need anything. I noticed you were running low on soymilk and did you want me to pick up some more Jack? It looks like you are almost out.”

Adam’s eyes widened and his lingering and confusing look at Tommy suddenly became angry. “We had a deal.” He said in that quiet pissed off way Adam spoke when he was livid. Everyone knew to watch out when that voice appeared. Tommy Joe looked at Greg and saw the man smirking. Ahh so that was his game. Why did Tommy always become the whipping boy? He would never understand why everyone seemed to think he had the target on his back. 

“Adam,” Tommy Joe said quietly, “you and I both know where I was all night and day until I left with Isaac and you know damn well I haven't had the time to drink. I made you a promise and I have kept it. You know better than that.” Tommy was a little annoyed by the doubt. He had never broken a promise to Adam. Never. 

Adam was confused. He knew what Tommy was saying was true and he had his tongue in Tommy’s mouth today and hadn't tasted whiskey. He knew the bottle was brand new though so where had it gone? He stared into Tommy’s eyes and saw the truth in his gaze. He nodded. He didn't know what had happened but he knew his Tommy Joe hadn't lied nor had he violated their agreement. He nodded. “You are right kitty, I know you haven't and I apologize for suspecting you. We really do need to fix this… “ he gestured between them, “I don't like this distance I feel.” 

Tommy smiled a heart breakingly sweet smile at him and nodded and it had Adam’s heart thumping a little harder. Ripping himself away, Adam turned to Greg. “I’ll show you out.” His tone offered no room to argue and Greg bowed his head in acceptance. He was a good submissive for Adam and Adam had enjoyed their time together. Today had cast some doubts on their relationship though and he was beginning to think it couldn't continue. He was getting an odd feeling about their relationship and the distance between his glitterbaby and himself. 

Adam led the way to the door with Greg following behind me meekly. When they got there, Adam turned toward Greg, his face stoney as granite. “I don’t want you to bring anything by tomorrow. You don’t need to come over. In fact, I would prefer you not come while Tommy Joe is here.”

“I won’t come tomorrow but I can’t stay away from you for a month, that's how long he is supposed to be here, right?” Greg ran his hand over Adam’s chest and moved closer trying to snuggle up to the other man. It was a bit odd since Greg was a couple inches taller and was slightly more muscular.

Adam couldn’t help but compare that Greg did not fit against him the way that Tommy Joe did. Tommy was just the right height and build to fit perfectly against him. He fit there in a way no one else ever had. Adam put his hand out and pushed Greg back. “It wasn’t a suggestion.” Adam responded coldly. He didn’t know what was going on but he was getting a feeling that maybe he hadn’t caught a major piece of information about Greg.

“Adam, what are you saying?” Greg’s tone sounded pleading and confused but his mind was racing in anger. The little glitterbitch was not going to win this. “Please, it sounds like you don't want to see me anymore.” Greg knew that prior to Tommy Joe’s reappearance in Adam’s life he could have said don’t break up with me but he sensed that now Adam would immediately state they weren't dating and it would be hard to recover that ground. “I’ll give you guys some space if you want, I know your friend is needy right now but don’t shut me out.”

“We’ll figure something out but I need time.” Adam said seriously. He sighed and rubbed his forehead for a minute and then his tone softened, “just give me some time.” 

“Of course, Adam.” Greg touched his face and Adam leaned into his touch for just a moment before stepping back. Greg kissed his cheek and then walked out. 

Adam shut the door and leaned against it. He took a deep breath and headed back up to Tommy’s room. Tommy Joe still sat on the bed playing his guitar. Adam leaned back against the doorway. “I’m sorry he came over. I didn’t invite him nor did I mean for that to happen.” Adam felt bad especially with the timing of Greg turning up. Tommy Joe looked up at him and those brown eyes met his but Adam couldn’t place the emotion or lack thereof in them. 

“It's ok. He’s your boyfriend. He should be here.” Tommy said calmly. He had his emotions locked down inside. It was past time to move on and quit letting Adam’s relationship status determine his moods. He smiled at Adam, though it didn’t go to his eyes. 

Adam stepped in the room and moved closer, he touched Tommy’s chin and gently tipped it up so he could see those beautiful brown eyes. “He isn’t my boyfriend. You know me better than that. I wouldn’t have done that with you if I had a boyfriend.” Adam said softly. “I don’t cheat. You know that.” Tommy showed no reaction to the touch and Adam frowned for a second, he was upset that Tommy wasn’t leaning into it the way he usually did. This wasn’t the way his pretty kitty usually reacted to his touch and he silently and, not for the first time, cursed Greg for showing up.

Tommy Joe pulled back slightly and put down his guitar before looking back at Adam. “Adam, I really DON’T know that anymore. I don’t know you anymore just like you don’t know me. We have become two completely different people than the two guys who were best friends. We have grown apart and we have changed. We will always have the memories of what we were but I don’t think we can ever have that back. I think it is too late. I think if we had wanted it then we would have done something about it before now. I’m here; we can talk it all out and we can work on our friendship but I don’t think we will ever be back where we were.”

Adam watched Tommy Joe’s face while he spoke and his heart broke open. There was no hurt or anger in his kitty’s face. It was like the idea of not being in Adam’s life didn’t matter to him anymore. His heart lurched painfully in his chest. Until this moment, Adam had never actually worried about losing Tommy. Was he too late? Had he lost his kitty? Now he wondered what the other man had gone through that had made him emotionless. His glitterbaby had been full of emotion at all times whether it was anger, sadness or love. Whatever he was feeling was always there in technicolor for everyone to see, especially Adam. This dull muted Tommy was different. His emotions were either nonexistent or Tommy kept them extremely close. The fact that he was locked out of Tommy’s mind was more painful then he would have believed. 

Adam took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Did you and Isaac have fun? Where did you guys go?” Adam asked, trying desperately to gain a toe hold back in to Tommy’s world. His eyes radiated his sadness though he was unaware of that. 

Tommy Joe could see the hurt and sadness in Adam’s eyes at his words and he smiled gently, to ease the hurt a bit. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Adam. I would never do that.“ he said softly. At the change of subject he grew more animated and now the smile reached his eyes. “We had a great time. We went to that place with the good milkshakes and just caught up and talked. I didn't realize how much I missed Isaac until today. I have pulled away from everyone lately and I need to stop doing that. I realized I have people in my life who give a fuck and I need to let them in.”

“Baby, you have a ton of people who care about you. Why did you pull away?” Adam pulled his legs up to sit Indian style facing Tommy Joe and without noticing, the blond copied his position. 

“I was dealing with some stuff and I couldn't reach out anymore. When I tried, no one had the time or didn’t respond. I was so lost and hurt and didn't know which way to turn and then the sleeping and stomach problems got worse and the worse it got the more I pulled away.”Tommy replied honestly. 

“I would have listened.” Adam responded, his voice like razor blades on his skin when he heard the needy quality. Tommy Joe just looked at him without expression and Adam again felt panic and hurt rising not being able to read his thoughts. 

“No you wouldn't.” Tommy finally responded softly but bluntly. “When I did text or call you, you never responded.” He couldn't believe Adam was trying to deny that all the times he had reached out and Adam had maintained silence he what, hadn't been trying hard enough? 

“I always respond to you glitterbaby, you know that. You quit responding to me.” 

“Adam, just don’t. Don't act like you care. Your silence for over a year speaks louder.”

“What are you talking about Tommy? I haven't been silent for over a year, and I would never just ignore you no matter what was going on between us.” Adam was getting confused. He was starting to believe they were having two completely different conversations. “I swear to you, Tommy, if I had known you needed me, I would have run to your side. I’m here now. Talk to me. Tell me whatever you are ready to tell me.”

Tommy shrugged for a second. He didn't know how Adam could possibly avoid the whole topic the way he was. “I don't really want to talk anymore. I'm so tired I can't think straight. Can this conversation be paused until I can get some sleep?”

“Of course!” Adam said back, disappointed that he couldn't get anymore Tommy time tonight. “I’ll leave you alone then.” Adam said sadly. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Tommy Joe just nodded and started to pull the covers down so he could slither into the cool sheets. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Adam get up and move slowly to the door just hoping Tommy would call him back but the blond didn’t. When Adam got to the doorway and looked back, Tommy Joe cut out the light. 

Adam left the room dragging his feet. He left both Tommy’s door open and his own and he sat at the end of his bed. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Sutan. --I think there may be more going on than I thought. He acts like I have ignored him.-- He pulled off his clothes and folded them neatly and pulled on a pair of sleep pants he wore for lounging around. He sat back down on the end of his bed, deep in thought about how they could fix things and deep in thought about what had happened over the day. While he thought his senses were attuned to Tommy’s room. 

Being so tuned in to Tommy’s room, he heard the first fearful moans a bit after midnight. Without thinking, Adam moved quickly and quietly into Tommy Joe’s room. He carefully crawled into the bed with him and held the other man gently. “It's ok glitterbaby, I'm here, I’m not going to leave you. I will never leave you unless you asked me to. Please, baby, please don’t ask me to.” Adam rubbed a hard through Tommy’s hair comfortingly and Tommy relaxed and fell back into a heavier sleep. He rolled over and threw his arms around Adam and snuggled his face into Adam’s chest. He could do this. He could hold Tommy and chase the bad dreams away so his baby could get some sleep. It wasn't the holding that was the problem, it was the letting go part Adam dreaded. 

His phone vibrated and Adam carefully pulled it out to see a response from Sutan. --he is probably projecting, we all know you’ve tried-- Adam nodded. At least he knew Sutan had his back if Tommy wanted to argue about this. He put the phone down and curled around Tommy Joe letting the other man feel safe and protected while he slept. He finally drifted off to sleep too. 

In his car a block away Greg stared angrily at his phone. He was not happy at all that Adam had reached out to Sutan. The response he had typed still showing on the screen. He was going to have to do a bit more to make sure Adam never found out just where all those messages were being filtered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So things are about to start getting a little intense. I really don't want to give away anything in the description so I'm not giving one this time. 
> 
> This is all fiction, none of it is real as far as I know. I do not know or own the people mentioned with the exception of Greg who I would happily kill off the slime. I make no money from this and am broke anyway. Please let me know if you like it.
> 
> Vanessa, your idea is coming chickie. I love it.

Tommy Joe yawned and smacked his lips. He was warm and comfortable and felt like he had slept like the dead. He raised his head and realized that his head wasn’t resting on his pillow after all. That was Adam. His head had been resting on Adam’s chest. The dark haired singer was sound asleep with his right arm wrapped around Tommy and his left flung over his head. Their legs were tangled together. Tommy smiled and looked at Adam and watched the man snore lightly in his sleep. He didn’t know why Adam was in the bed with him, he had no memory of the other man joining him in the bed. He lay quietly just watching the other man sleep for awhile. 

Adam was so beautiful. He always was but when he wasn’t pulled by worry and when he was completely relaxed in sleep he was breathtaking. Tommy had done this so many times in the past, just lay with Adam and watched him sleep. This is the type of closeness he missed most. The utter relaxation and trust about sleeping beside someone and sharing the intimate warmth below the blankets. Adam was light and talent and beauty all wrapped up into one extremely amazing package. Tommy Joe didn’t know how anyone could look at Adam, to listen to him and be around him and not fall head over heels in love. 

Tommy was straight, had always been straight and still considered himself straight. However Adam was his exception. Every rule had an exception right? He suspected everyone had a person they would go gay for. Maybe it was someone they would never meet, and he suspected that was the case most of the time, but he HAD met Adam, he worked with him, he practically lived with him on the road. During all that time he had discovered that the reality of Adam was even better than the myth that everyone else dreamed of. His humor and kindness and love made him even better than just his amazing voice.

“Goodbye.” Tommy Joe whispered softly and could swear that Adam frowned in his sleep. He lay his head back on Adam’s chest and pretended to sleep when Adam slowly woke up and realized where he was. Adam froze when he realized that he was in the bed with Tommy Joe. His breathing eased and his body relaxed when he saw that Tommy was still asleep. He gently and slowly slid out from under Tommy Joe and covered him back up with the blankets and quietly left the room. 

That had been too close. Tommy would not have been happy to wake up and find Adam in the bed with him again, especially not after yesterday. Adam went into his room and got into the shower. Why did Tommy have to feel like he belonged there? He felt like he belonged in Adam’s life, house, heart and bed. He always had. Adam thought he had long been over this crush he had on Tommy. The man was straight and not interested in changing that. No matter how much he wished that was not the case, it was. But no matter what had happened between them, Adam had to admit their conversation last night had scared him. Had scared him badly. No matter the distance between them, Adam had never actually worried over losing Tommy. His Tommy Joe would always be there. 

Adam let himself collapse against the wall of his shower and let his tears fall. His Tommy Joe didn’t even concern himself about their friendship anymore and hadn’t bothered to tell Adam how he was feeling. It was like he was jerking back his friendship without giving Adam any say so in it and it sucked. Adam hated it. He was hurt and angry at Tommy, how dare him care so little about what they had that he would just throw their history away like this. Didn’t he know how rare their friendship was? Didn’t he know they were soul mates? 

Soul mates? Is that what they were? The more Adam thought about it, the more he thought it was the case. From the moment that they met, they had bonded closer than anyone else in Adam’s life. They understood each other in a way that Adam had never had before. It was like they really didn’t even have to speak, they just clicked. Adam had found Sauli and he had loved Sauli. It wasn’t like he was just using the Finn but part of the attraction was the similarity to his glitterbaby and also fear. That realization shocked him. Adam had faced every fear he had ever had. Every single one; except Tommy Joe Ratliff. The fear that if he admitted his depth of love for his friend that he would lose him for good. Shit. It was time to talk to Sauli. 

Tommy Joe feigned sleep as Adam left the room and then sat up quietly. So Adam was going to pretend it hadn’t even happened. Great. Tommy was getting tired of pretending so much. He stood and went into the bathroom. Tommy Joe took his time shaving, brushing his teeth and showering. He was so thankful for his time with Isaac the previous day. It gave him some great perspective and allowed him to heal his broken heart a little. By the time he went down to the kitchen, Adam was already there. Tommy got himself a cup of coffee and watched Adam preparing their breakfast. Egg white and spinach omelets with tomatoes and some swiss cheese. 

“How’d you sleep?” Adam asked as if he didn’t know. 

Tommy Joe hid his smile. “Good. Really good for a change.” He responded.

“That's great, baby.” Adam responded, his smile a little tight. “What are your plans for today?”

“I have several lessons planned for today.” Tommy told him. “Perhaps you should stay away today during them.” His lips quirked up a bit and he noticed Adam’s lips twitched too. “Just so the lesson can be a lesson instead of OMG ADAM!”

Adam laughed in spite of himself. “Yeah, that was a little awkward yesterday.” He plated their breakfast and passed Tommy his. He dug into his immediately and noticed Tommy take a small bite and then kind of play with the rest. “Please try to eat, kitty. I know we have talked about it a little but you have barely eaten since you have been here and you are so thin. It worries me a lot.” 

“I do try, Adam.” Tommy said softly. “I just hate throwing up, you know?”

“Have you thrown up since you have been here?”

“Yesterday.” Tommy Joe responded emotionlessly.

“Shit.” Adam felt even worse knowing that Greg’s appearance had made Tommy sick. “Listen, I have some business to take care of, is that ok?”

“Of course, Adam. I don’t expect you to quit your work while I am here. I’m going to be busy most of the day so do whatever you need to.”

Adam nodded and then looked pointedly at the omelet in front of Tommy Joe again until the blond took a big bite. “Good. I was thinking we could go out for sushi for dinner, how does that sound?” In all reality, Adam knew that it was time to start their discussions and begin to fix them but he was afraid to do that here. He knew in public they wouldn’t fight. It was safe. He noticed Tommy looking at him like he knew exactly what Adam was doing.

“That's fine, if you are more comfortable with it.” Tommy’s voice was even.

Adam closed himself up in his office and dialed Sauli. “I owe you a big apology.” He said when the Finn answered. “You tried to talk to me about Tommy and I wasn’t ready to hear it. I don’t know that I’m ready to hear it now but I think I need to listen anyway.”

“Adamya.” Sauli used the old pet name for Adam. It made Adam smile. “I am happy that you are finally willing to work through this. What has changed?”

“I think Tommy doesn’t want to be friends anymore and I’m realizing that my feelings for him may have been a bit stronger than I thought.”

“Adamya, you were always in love with the pretty kitty.” Sauli said gently. “That was hard for me to handle when we started dating. Especially when I realized I was perhaps a stand in.”

Adam sighed over the phone. “I never meant to make you feel like that, Sauli. Rakastettu.” 

“It does not hurt so much now.” Sauli replied with a smile in his voice. “You did not realize your feelings for him. You used me as a….a...what is the word, a stand by?”

“A stand in. Yes, I think I did.” Adam admitted. “I didn’t mean to though.”

“I know that, Adamya. We were a great couple and if it had not been for Tommy Joe we may have worked but your heart would always have belonged to him first and I deserved someone who put me first.” Sauli knew his words may be hurting on Adam but he didn’t mean to. He was just speaking on this honestly. He had tried several times to say all this to Adam, especially when they had broken up but Adam kept denying that he and Tommy were anything but friends.   
“I’m so sorry, Sauli. You deserved better than that.” Adam began crying, his frustration over the situation and his regret for hurting the people he loved the most. 

“Adam, It is ok. I am happy now. Are you ready to admit how you feel about him? Do you want to tell me what is going on?”

“I love him.” Adam whispered softly. “I always have, I think.” He began telling Sauli everything. He poured his heart out to the Finn and told him everything that was on his mind and everything that had happened. He cried quite a bit during their talk but when it was over, Adam felt lighter than he had in a long time. “I know what I have to do now. Thank you, Sauli.”

“Anytime, Adam. I love you and look forward to hearing the response.” Sauli replied and Adam could hear the warmth and affection in the other man’s voice. They said their goodbyes and Adam went up to shower and clean up. 

While Adam talked to Sauli and Tommy Joe gave his lessons; their friends were having a barbeque at Monte’s house and talking about their friends and how they could help. Isaac mostly stayed quiet and listened though his mind began racing when he heard Monte mention that he didn’t know why Tommy Joe was avoiding Adam. “What do you mean avoiding?” Isaac asked quietly. He listened as Monte told the story of finding Adam crying about six months prior about Tommy ignoring him. “Did he show you the texts?” Isaac asked and everyone looked at him curiously. 

“Dude, there were hundreds of messages that Tommy just ignored.” Monte told him. Isaac got quiet again and let the conversation float around him. He was lost in thought. Someone was playing games and he didn’t know who but when he found out, someone was getting hurt. He knew Tommy hadn’t avoided Adam and apparently the singer hadn’t avoided him either. Who wanted to hurt the twosome? Once he found out, he was going to make damn sure his friends ended up together and he was going to give them first dibs at the instrument of their separation.

That night Adam drove he and Tommy Joe to his favorite sushi place. They were seated in a private booth towards the back. By silent agreement, neither ordered sake or wine and instead stuck with water. They placed their order and settled back into the booth. “So…” Tommy Joe finally said. “You ready to get this started?” 

Adam took a deep breath. “Tommy, I’m gonna start by admitting that I had a long talk with Sauli about all this today and I got some perspective. I realized that I am big about facing my fears, you know that but when it comes to you I tend to hide and I need to stop that. You mentioned the other day that this distance started when I started dating Sauli. Can you explain that a bit?”

Tommy Joe just looked him in the face. He seemed to have no expression and it set Adam into a panic. The waitress came and dropped off their waters and Tommy looked up to thank her and she leaned toward him flirtatiously. Adam glowered. This had to be a bad joke. Just as he was about to bitch the woman out, she stepped away. He just glared. “Really? During this conversation?” He snipped at Tommy. 

Tommy again gave him that blank look. Inside Tommy Joe was trying hard to figure out if that was jealousy he had seen cross Adam’s face. “When I started working for you, you were larger than life. I was bowled over immediately. Then we had this bond between us. It was like you could read my mind and I could read yours. We just worked so perfectly together and we got so close so quick. You changed my life, I’ve never really given you the credit for that but you definitely have. I used to be so angry all the time and then once we became friends, that anger went away. It was like you gave me an outlet. You let me find a new part of myself. 

We grew so comfortable so quickly and there was so much physical affection that I wasn’t used to. I didn’t used to touch people much and yet we were always hugging and kissing. Our closeness became everything to me. You gave me a peace of mind that I had never had before. And, Adam…” Tommy Joe took a deep breath. “You made me question everything about myself. I’ve always been attracted to girls and that was never a question but then there is you and you are so incredibly talented and beautiful and sexy and we were kissing onstage and cuddling offstage and then you and Sauli started dating. As soon as you did, you backed away onstage and off. It hurt but I understood why. But it was like this closeness I had never had before was pulled away without talking to me about it. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Then you just continued to pull away more and more.”

Adam just sat and listened in amazement. It was hard to process all of this coming from Tommy Joe. “What are you trying to say Tommy?” What was the blond trying to say? Talking about their closeness and their bond and Tommy thought he was beautiful and sexy? “We still have a bond. We have always had one and that hasn’t changed. What are you saying?”

Tommy Joe just looked at Adam, his heart in his eyes. “Adam, I am straight, you know that but what you don’t seem to get is that I think everyone has an exception, someone that it doesn’t matter the gender so much as the person. Most people never meet theirs but I met you. You are my exception.”

“Exception?” Adam asked in wonder. He was starting to believe he had completely misread this situation. 

“Adam, I don’t expect anything from you. I know you have moved on in your life but it is past time I admit that I love you. I’m in love with you. I always have been.” Tommy said it simply and without emotion. His brown eyes looking into Adam’s blue ones. Adam just stared back in shock.

“Forever.” Tommy replied to the look in Adam’s eye. Reading those eyes was getting easier again.. “I think I have loved you since I met you and it has only grown in the years since. “I have realized this week that we are obviously not meant to be but I just wanted to be honest with you about my feelings. I love you, Adam. I know this will change things between us and for that, I am sorry. I don’t know what to do to fix this between us but I know it can’t happen without honesty so I owed you that piece of the puzzle. I’m sorry I kept this from you for so long.”

“But...but…. WHAT?” Was all Adam could stutter out in response.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some sleuthing and some talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know or any of the people written about with the exception of Greg who is of my own creation and trust me, I think of ways to hurt him nightly. This is a work of fiction and does not depict reality in any way. I do not have any money so do not sue me, and I'm a possessive bitch so no stealing either. If you like what I write please let me know.
> 
>  
> 
> I am so sorry for the delay dear readers. I am a pretty bad insomniac and took some time off work to just sleep and then ended up working really long hours. No excuses. I apologize. In addition I have been struggling with where to go in the story now and the arc of the story but after some brain storming with my bestie (my hubby) I finally figured it out. Specially need to thank Vanessa for the kicks in the butt over the last week. I can honestly say without her support you would not be reading this yet You guy have no idea how much a comment means to me and fuels me to write more and write faster. Please let me hear you. Lastly, I am so anxious to get this out, I haven't proof read it as much as I should so please forgive mistakes. Now to the story.

Chapter 10

While Adam and Tommy were having their conversation, Isaac went to talk to a cop friend of his. He was curious how it was possible that two of his friends were calling and texting each other and none of the messages and calls were getting through. The cop immediately assumed one had blocked the other but Isaac kept at it. Finally the cop saw how serious he was about this and admitted that if someone were proficient enough with tech, they could potentially clone a phone that would be an interceptor meaning all messages went through the interceptor phone first and then either got passed on or deleted. Isaac thanked him for all the explanations and headed over to Sutan’s. He was going to need some help to figure this out.

When Sutan opened the door for Isaac he let him in with only a slightly questioning look. “I need some help.” Isaac tells him. “Let's go sit down and I’ll explain everything. When they sit, Isaac tells him everything he has learned. “So what I need is help figuring out who has done this.”

“Vayvee, if someone has kept those two apart intentionally, Raja and I will use everything in our power to help fix it. Those two were meant to be.” Together they made a list of all of their friends. They whittled it down removing people who were only acquaintances or not around enough to have done it. Then they narrowed it more by people who wouldn’t have had the knowledge of how to do it. They removed anyone who hadn’t seen either Adam or Tommy face to face for more than 12 months. They were still left with an impressive list. Both understood that while having other inputs would be helpful, they couldn’t truly trust anyone else to help until they knew who had done it for fear of putting their faith in the wrong person.” “Why did you trust me?” Sutan finally asked Isaac. 

“Because I know you have seen how badly this is hurting Tommy. You and I have been there to pick up the pieces so often. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him like that. At least I hoped not because then you would be one twisted fuck.” They both laughed at that. Isaac looked over at the list again and sobered immediately. “It pisses me off that someone has done this. They have both hurt over this. Someone is just toying with our friends and it's sick and I want to punch the shit out of them.”

“We will figure it out and they will be punished.” Sutan says soothingly. “Do we tell them?”

“No. Until we know who it is, there is no point.” Isaac sighed. He started looking again at the list. The name he needed was towards the bottom but he didn’t know that yet. He just hoped they figured it out quickly and that Adam and Tommy Joe didn’t implode in the meantime.

“But...but...WHAT?” Adam said loudly and Tommy flinched. “I….I….I…”

“Adam, calm down.” Tommy says worriedly afraid Adam is going to hyperventilate. 

“I...I can’t do this like this!” Adam finally spits out and gets up and goes outside. Tommy watches him start pacing the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. He watches Adam take several deep breaths and then come back in. Adam took a seat again. “Ok, so I need to start from the beginning. “You said things changed between us when I started dating Sauli. I asked and the subject got changed and I’m not ready for that part yet. Can we start back at Sauli?”

“Ok.” Tommy says calmly. “If that is where you want to go with this.” Tommy took a sip of coffee. “We had this closeness, this bond between us. We were always together and we had this…” he gestures between them. “This whatever it is between us. You made me feel safe for the first time. Then we were doing all this kissing onstage and sometimes off. It made me feel special in a way I never had before. Then when you started dating Sauli, and all that shit went down with the fans, you backed away. You wanted to respect you and Sauli which I totally get and you wanted the fans to accept you two. So you pulled away from me. It wasn’t just the physical stuff on stage but all of it. You didn’t talk to me as much. Only when Sauli was there or it could be hidden. That hurt. I wanted you to be happy but I wanted our friendship to continue and I felt like it had been jerked away without talking to me about it.”

“But you were still my best friend.” Adam argued. “That never changed no matter how long Sauli and I were together.” 

“Yeah but it was different. We were different. Our deep conversations didn’t happen as often. It was only when Sauli wasn’t with us and you were lonely. That was when we would find us again.” Tommy breathed deep for a minute. “And then all the things I used to accompany you to, suddenly, you didn’t need me anymore, you had him so you quit even asking. Even when he wasn’t around you went alone so no one said that you were being unfaithful. It went from being us against the world to you and Sauli and I was somewhere else. It hurt. It hurt a lot.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything? I would have taken you anywhere you wanted to go. I knew you hated those so I took pity on you figuring you hated them anyway.”

“I do hate them and you know that, but being with you I love. I would do anything for you have always known that is the case. Ever since the beginning I have done things with and for you that I have never done before.”

“That's true.” Adam conceded “We have had this pull between us from the beginning but it wasn’t just on your side, Tommy, I felt it too.”

Tommy gave him a sad smile. “I know but here we still are all these years later.”

“What can I do about it now? I can’t take back dating Sauli.”

“I wouldn’t want you to, Adam. You were happy with him for a time, I would never have taken that happiness away from you. Back then I didn’t really know how I felt in any way. I was lost and confused. I started dreaming...well no, not dreaming. They were nightmares.”

“So now I find out what keeps you so afraid to sleep?” Adam asked with a bit of trepidation. He took a sip of coffee to fortify himself. Adam looked across the table at Tommy. He took a few minutes to really study the other man. He could see the circles under his eyes, his weight loss made his cheekbones and chin even sharper than they had been before. Tommy had always had an ethereal beauty. Something that was rare, a true inner and outer beauty. It had always drawn Adam to him. Not because of the outer beauty but because the inner beauty called to him. Tommy was a mass of contradictions. He was tiny and feminine and looked fragile yet he was foul mouthed and full of attitude. He had this amazing talent and yet he thought he was just ok. He had a John Wayne tattoo on his arm, such a conservative figure on a body that regularly covered his face in makeup. This angelic appearance covered in horror tattoos.

Adam had denied himself his love for Tommy for so long it was honestly hard to let it bubble to the front. He had fallen in love with Tommy right around the AMA performance. It was the way Tommy had responded to his manhandling that did it. Knowing how open and accepting he was even though he was straight made Adam fall head over heels. But knowing Tommy was straight had kept him from acting on it. He lived for their stage kisses. He kept it locked down inside of himself; terrified if he let it come to the surface, he would scare Tommy away. No matter how the other man acted on the stage and no matter how cuddly they were offstage; his glitterbaby was still straight and knowing that kept him at a distance without even realizing it. 

Tommy patiently waited for Adam to finish his perusal knowing the other man needed a few minutes to absorb what they had discussed so far. When Adam finally nodded, Tommy knew he could continue. “I started having nightmares about you. You leaving me. Not romantically at first just you leaving.” He voice was shaking a bit and Adam reached across the table and took Tommy’s hand. “At first it wasn’t that often but the farther you slipped away the more they happened. I would wake up screaming for you to wait for me. It got so that I didn’t want to sleep anymore because I never knew when they were going to happen and they hurt so much; I just couldn’t take it. I started drinking more.”

“I noticed when you started drinking a lot more. I remember getting really worried. I was going to confront you at one point but Isaac talked me out of it.” Adam said remembering a night in a hotel in yet another nameless town when he found out Isaac had to carry Tommy back to the hotel. He had raged and tried to storm out the door when Isaac had stopped him and told him to leave it alone. “He told me you were fighting your demons and needed time to figure out some things.” Adam told him. Tommy got a curious look on his face and Adam was about to ask him what that was about when Tommy held up a hand asking for a minute.

“I’ll be damned. He knew even back then and didn’t say anything.” Tommy said with a fond look on his face. Adam fought a flash of jealousy. “He knew back then that I was fighting with how I felt about you and trying to figure it out.” Tommy grinned. “We can’t ever let the fucker know how smart he is or we will never live it down.” 

Adam laughed. “Got that right.” he agreed. “He would lord that shit over us forever.” He laughed some more and Tommy joined in. It felt good to laugh like this together. Healing laughter in a way. Pretty soon they were wiping away tears of laughter; the laughter had gotten away from them in the way it seems to when tension has been there for so long and it cracks open just a bit at something just a little funny and pretty soon your stomach hurts from laughing so hard. They grinned at each other and now that the tension had lessened quite a bit, Adam gestured for him to continue.

“Alcohol didn’t work all the time and when it didn’t I would sleep but never well.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?” Adam asked in a small voice.

“Adam…” Tommy’s voice was slightly embarrassed. “I wouldn’t have had a clue how to talk to you about them. I felt like an idiot anyway and then having to tell you that I was dreaming of losing you when I didn’t even actually have you. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t even understand yet how I felt about you. I just knew it hurt and scared the shit out of me.” Tommy ran a hand through his hair and Adam watched him and then took his hand again.

“Tell me about one.” Adam asked softly, his blue eyes pleading with Tommy.

“They were all different scenarios. But it would be stuff like all of us flying somewhere and then I would get held up at security. I would watch you and Sauli walk away and I would be calling out for you to wait and you wouldn’t hear me.” Tommy said softly and it was obvious that even the thought hurt him. 

Adam squeezed his hand. “Tommy Joe Ratliff, I would never leave you. You are part of my glamily.” His heart lurched when Tommy’s response was a shrug. He began to panic. “You know that, right? I wouldn’t.”

“But you did.” Tommy finally said. “The more you pulled away the worse the dreams got. It was a vicious circle.”

“So what about the eating?”

“Oh that.” Tommy sighed. “The more stressed I got, the harder it got to keep my food down. It got to where I really couldn’t eat anymore. Food doesn’t even really taste anymore.”

“Have you gone to a doctor?”

“Yeah. They said to eat more.” Tommy said dryly. Adam snorted in laughter.   
Nervously, Adam said “Do you think if things calm down and you get rid of the stress, you will be able to start to sleep and eat again?”

“I sleep when you are there.” Tommy whispered.

“Then Pretty Kitty, I think that I need to be there while you sleep. I think you need to sleep in my arms every night for a while.” Adam said with a warm look at Tommy.

“Would you be comfortable with that considering...you know...considering what I told you?”

Adam squeezed his hand again and smiled. “Tommy Joe, there is literally nothing you could tell me that would make me not want to help you. You will always have me, no matter what fears you have, no matter the nightmares you have. You will always have me.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan goes into action and some difficult and emotional talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know or own, this is all fiction, i have no money, I make no money, don't steal.
> 
> If you like it please let me know.

Chapter 11

When they got back to Adam’s house, Tommy nervously rubbed the hem of his shirt between his fingers. Adam noticed and smiled, it was something Tommy did when he was nervous and Adam hadn't seen it for awhile. He hadn't even realized how much he missed that little quirk of Tommy’s. He stepped closer and took Tommy’s hand in his. “How about a movie?” He knew Tommy needed some time to process their conversation and in all honesty, he did too. Tommy’s brown eyes came up to meet his and Adam couldn't read the expression in them. He began to panic and then Tommy squeezed his hand gently and nodded. 

“I’ll even let you pick out the movie, babyboy.” Tommy said with a small smile. 

Adam hated this. This distance and space. This not being able to read Tommy. It sucked. He gave a nod and went to pick out a movie in the theater room. He finally decided comedy was what they needed so he picked Grown Ups and popped it in. Tommy had brought some bottles of water for them and Adam curled up on the couch. At least Adam kind of understood now why Tommy hadn't answered his many messages and calls. He had said at dinner that he just couldn't handle talking to Adam about all this so that must be why. Adam wished he had talked about it though. Part of him was angry that Tommy hadn't even tried to talk before pulling away. He buried the anger for fear that it would cause him to lose Tommy completely but he really was angry. How dare he yank away his friendship without even talking to Adam and then blame him from the way it sounded. How the fuck was he supposed to help it or fix it if nothing was said and he wasn't given a chance?

Tommy was glad he had aired some of this out and he appreciated that Adam had listened but if he was honest with himself, he resented Adam not really accepting any of the blame. After all, Adam had pulled away physically and then had quit taking his calls and texts and then he had the nerve to say he would never leave Tommy. He fucking had left him. He had left him all alone and was now acting like it wasn't a big deal. It was a huge fucking deal. Even if Tommy wasn't head over heels in love with Adam it would still be a huge deal for a friend to abandon another. He sat seething silently in his anger.

The movie really didn't hold either of their attention and the tension between the two grew. About halfway through the movie, Tommy hit the pause button and glared over at Adam. Adam looked over in surprise and then registered the anger in Tommy’s eyes. It instantly had his back up. “You say I will always have you but that is a fucking lie, Lambert. I have been right here all along and you didn't have the time or care. We can work through all this shit but I’m done with hiding how I fucking feel.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to hide how you feel.” Adam says with confusion. “How am I a fucking bad guy here?” He doesn’t like Tommy Joe being angry at him. It almost never happens. The guitarist has a biting tongue when he is pissed out and it can be razor sharp but Adam has rarely had it directed at him. Just another way his beloved Tommy Joe had changed.

Tommy holds up his hand. “Just don’t, Lambert. We both know that you didn’t care. You showed that over the last year or more. Honestly it has been more but at least last year you still had time for me. This last year you haven’t even had that. The more I fucking think about you saying I will always have you it just pisses me off. Don’t fucking say things you don’t mean to try to get me all better.” His voice turns very bitter. “Little fucked up Tommy Joe doesn’t need your fucking sympathy.”

“I’m getting a little tired of being blamed for things that are not my fault, Tommy Joe.” Adam responds angrily and he sees Tommy’s eyes flashing with anger. He doesn’t understand what had just happened. They were fine at the restaurant and then they start watching a movie and now Tommy is angry at him? “Your split personalities are showing.” He spits out viciously, referring to Tommy ceasing communication then blaming him for it.

Tommy jumps to his feet. “Okay you know what, go fuck yourself Lambert. This obviously was a mistake.” he goes to storm out. 

Adam immediately panics and swallows his anger. He jumps up to follow Tommy. “I’m sorry, kitty. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave like this.” His voice is shaking and Adam is in full panic mode. Tommy is going to leave and he is never going to see him again. He can’t lose Tommy, not like this and not now. Adam grabs Tommy’s arm.

“I wasn’t fucking leaving. Its like you don’t know me at all. Do I ever break my word about shit?” Tommy asks angrily and watches Adam bite his lip and shake his head sadly. “I agreed to stay here for a month. I agreed to not drink. I have followed through with both of those things quit fucking accusing me otherwise.”

Adam’s brow crinkled having forgotten about the whiskey incident. “Where were you going then?” He asked in a small voice. 

“To shower and then to bed.” Tommy snapped.

“Are you going to...um….’ Adam didn’t know how to ask. This normally eloquent and smooth man was reduced to a stuttering mess.

“You are going to have to spit the sentence out if you want me to answer it.” Tommy finally said hatefully. 

“We agreed to sleep together.” Adam finally burst out.

Tommy Joe got a bitter smile and looked Adam up and down as if checking him out. “Wish you meant that the other way but yes, I will be in your room to sleep soon.” Tommy spun and stalked back to his room, stripped and jumped in the shower. 

When Adam heard the shower start up he pulled out his phone and called Sutan. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” He admits to his friend. “I want to help him. I want my best friend back and healthy but it is like we don’t know each other. He is so angry and blaming me for abandoning him but you know I didn’t. I don’t know how he can blame me for the shit that he has done. None of this makes any sense. What am I missing?” He begs Sutan to help him make sense of all this. 

Sutan sighs softly but he knows their conversation is likely being monitored so he has to watch what he says. He gets a random idea for how they can maybe speed up the investigation and he’ll have to talk to Isaac as soon as he hangs up. “Adam, I know you didn’t abandon him. We all know that, boo. Just give it some time. Tommy is hurting, you are hurting and tempers are going to flare. He has a lot going on physically…” He paused wanting to make sure he was saying things he was ok with having overheard. “He hasn’t been well for awhile, Adam. Just be patient.” He finally added.

“I know.” Adam sighed. “I told him I would hold him while he slept. Its the only way he sleeps. Do you think that was a wrong choice?” His voice was soft and worried.

“Boo, I think if that is what you BOTH want then that is what you should do and if not find something else. You are both adults and if that is what it takes to help him sleep then go for it. It isn’t like either of you is attached, you know?” 

“True.” Adam responded. “Thanks for listening, Sutan.”

“Of course Vayvee. You and my life partner there always have my support.” Sutan said.

Adam felt better after hanging up. He headed into his room and pulled on a pair of sweat pants. He got in his bed, under the covers and nervously waited for Tommy. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Tommy appear in the doorway. “I wasn’t sure you would still come.” He said softly. 

“I honestly wasn’t sure that I should.” Tommy replied. 

Adam lifted the covers for Tommy. Tommy hesitated and then crawled under them. He slowly snuggled up to Adam and settled in, letting Adam’s familiar scent and feel relax him. Tommy gave a happy sigh. 

“I’m sorry for picking a fight.” Tommy finally admitted. “I was feeling raw and exposed.”

“I’m sorry I contributed to it.” Adam said. “I don’t like fighting with you.”

“I don’t like it either...Adam? Will you sing to me?” Tommy’s voice was hardly more than a whisper but Adam heard it anyway. Adam began singing and didn’t stop until long after Tommy fell asleep. “I love you glitterbaby.” he whispered before kissing Tommy’s head and settling to sleep himself.

Sutan called Isaac and laid out an idea. Working together it became a feasible plan. They had found a way to hopefully speed up their investigation into the guilty party. Setting their plan in motion Isaac sent Tommy a text and Sutan sent Adam an identical text. --I know things have been tense but I had an idea. The group should come over for dinner tomorrow. Just have a relaxing time with your loved ones. We’ll handle the food, beer and invites. Just be ready for us at 7.-- They smiled at each other and gave a high 5.

Greg sat in his car in front of Adam’s house watching the light go off in Adam’s bedroom and then getting the texts. So a party with all their friends. Well Greg wasn’t about to miss that. Maybe he could get Tommy to drink some and wouldn’t that really piss off Adam. It was about time that he put some additional distance between them. And after all Adam was a beautiful sight to behold when he was angry as long as it wasn’t directed at you.

He thought over the conversation he had heard between Sutan and Adam. So the glitterbitch, whore kitty was sharing a bed with his beloved Adam. That shit wasn’t ok. He had spent too many years scheming and plotting to get here to let that little whore take his man away. Adam belonged to him, not to the stupid guitarist. He had known from the first time Adam had spoken to him that he was the one. Adam would be his and no one else's. It had been unbelievably easy to separate him from Sauli. I mean the man had a career, just give him jobs and watch him run but then there was Tommy. He had anticipated that one being much harder than it actually was. In truth just some unanswered calls and texts and bam, bye glitterbitch. 

But now that fucking bitch was in his bed with his man. That wasn’t going to fly very well. He needed to come up with some ideas on how to drive a wedge during the party tomorrow. Something to really getting Adam steamed and Tommy upset. The thought of the little stupid whore kitty crying made Greg laugh. One day, he was going to stand in front of Tommy, holding Adam’s hand and let him know exactly who had caused all this. He couldn’t wait until that day.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole lot of healing and several realizations. Oh and an angry Adam… 
> 
> This story to the best of my knowledge is entirely fiction. This is my interpretation of their current relationship and nothing else. I do not know or own any of these people or places with the exception of Greg who comes from some dark diseased place in my mind. I write for the love of it and make no money from this. In addition, I am beyond broke so please don't sue me. If you steal my story, I will find out and publicly shame the heck out of you so please spare us both and just don't. Lastly, if you like what I write please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you lovely readers! This has been a couple hell weeks of work and my time has been limited. I promise I am still writing and still as invested in this story as ever before. I will not stop writing it until it is complete. Thank you for your comments and messages they mean so much more to me than you can imagine. Every comment reminds me how what I write moves others which makes me want to write more and faster. I never intend to hold my stories hostage for comments ever, I hate it when writers do that, but I will say if there has ever been a delay and you are ready, post a comment and I guarantee I will be writing as soon as humanly possible to keep from disappointing anyone.

Chapter 12

Tommy woke early but he had slept through the night so that was a definite plus. He rolled over and looked at his phone seeing the text from Isaac. That sounded fun, seeing their friends. In truth, Tommy was a bit nervous. It was obvious that everyone knew how much he had fallen apart completely. He was picking up the pieces yes but he had been a mess for so long and he hated for them to know it. Tommy really didn't care what strangers thought of him; friends however... Well that was different. He did care what they thought and for them to have been aware that he was at a personal low point made him nervous that they would look down on him in some way. He bit his lip wondering if he was really ready for this. 

Adam woke to see Tommy sitting up and biting his lip while looking at his phone. “You okay glitterbaby? Have you been up long?” He sat up himself and checked his phone seeing a message from Sutan. “Oh hey, everyone’s coming over tonight. That will be nice.”

“Will it?” Tommy said cryptically. He was thinking more about it and he knew he would be ok with their group turning up with one exception. He didn't know how Adam was going to take it but he was sure of what his comfort level was and this was what he needed. Tommy Joe would call in favors if he needed to. “I’m a little nervous having everyone here after my meltdown but I think I am ok with that… it's just…“ he hesitated, biting his lip again. 

“Spit it out, Kitty, we will work on it together.”

“I really don't want Greg here.” He rushed on wanting to make sure he got it all out before Adam lost his shit. “It's not because of how I feel about you, I promise. It's because he kind of creeps me out. It's like I am playing a game without knowing it or the rules when he is around. I don't know him enough to trust him and I'm sure my meltdown will come up and without that trust I wouldn't be comfortable. Adam, I would never tell you who you can date or fuck or whatever and I would never even think about telling you who can come to your own house whenever you like. But I'm not comfortable having him here tonight, my first time seeing everyone again. Can you understand that?” 

Adam just sits quietly listening. He can tell by the way Tommy is prattling on, he thinks Adam is going to go off on him. Instead he just waits. He waits until Tommy winds down and looks at him. “Kitty,” he says gently, “if you don't want him here he won't be here.” Adam watches Tommy breathe a sigh of relief and get a small smile. “I’m thinking he and I are reaching the end anyway. He was fun but that's it, you know?” 

Tommy was relieved knowing he wouldn't have to deal with Greg’s snide comments. “Let me text them back to make sure they know.” He said. --please don't invite Adam’s PA Greg (that guy from the other day) I’m not comfortable with him being here-- 

Adam yawned and stretched and stood up, scratching his belly. He went into the bathroom and pissed and then flipped on the shower before stepping under the hot spray. So Tommy wasn't comfortable around Greg. Adam wondered if it was jealousy but he quickly dismissed that idea. If Tommy was to be believed, he had had feelings for Adam since Adam had been with Sauli and he and Tommy were always friends. He could never remember a time that either had avoided the other. They got along and joked around and genuinely seemed to like each other. Tommy wasn't a petty jealous guy and in fact seemed to feel whatever was best for Adam was best for Tommy. That eased his mind but made him curious to the reason why Tommy didn't like Greg. Come to think of it he hadn’t really spent much time with any of his friends with Greg or honestly even without Greg. Hmmm.. Could what Tommy was saying about the distance between them be more true than he thought? He would have to think about it some more. 

\--wasnt even on the guest list. Don't worry, TJ, I got ya.-- came the reply from Isaac and Tommy smiled. He stood and quietly made the bed before heading back to his own room to check his schedule and get a shower of his own. His stomach may still be fucked to hell but at least he was sleeping again and that was making him more clear headed and feeling human again. He had better control over his emotions with the extra rest. He felt more stable than he had in a long time. 

Adam got out of the shower and noticed Tommy had left. He frowned wishing Tommy hadn't vacated so quickly. He pulled on a pair of jeans and shirt and went into the hallway to stand in Tommy’s door. “Did you let them know about Greg or do I need to?” He asked softly. Tommy looked up from his laptop with a small smile that had Adam’s stomach go fluttery in a way it hadn't in a long time. 

“I took care of it.” Tommy said, not elaborating on it.

“So, do you have lessons today?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah. Two. Janet and a girl named Vanessa just signed up.”

“Cool…” Adam hesitated. “I miss having you on stage with me. I've been wondering if I should try to do a tour with our group again or at least my music and my own band. Do you think that's stupid?“

Tommy laughed. “Not stupid at all, babyboy. Based on your fans on twitter, they would fucking love to see you performing your own stuff again. Not that you being with Queen isn't amazing. Even if that is all you did from now on, the fans would support you but I think a lot of them miss the glamily, you know?“

“Yeah.” Adam said with a small smile. I have been missing it too. I am feeling inspired. I think I’m gonna write some music and then go work out for awhile. Enjoy your lessons.” Adam waved and left the room before he could say something monumentally stupid.

His lessons went well and Tommy had a jam session with Janet and Vanessa seemed nice. She had spoken to him like a real person instead of screaming at him which was nice. He did have to wonder though how much the fans had caught on to his actual feelings since she calmly told him before they disconnected that she just thought it was important to let him know how much his fans truly loved him and how much he meant to them. He just blushed and stammered out a thank you. All in all, not a bad way to spend the day.

Tommy decided to prepare himself for the night ahead with a little eyeliner and an all black outfit. He was ready to go early which was a good thing as the doorbell rang at 6 instead of 7. He heard Adam in the shower so he went to grab the door. Isaac and Sutan had arrived together. He cocked an eyebrow looking at them. They were obviously up to something. “Vayvee!! My life partner! Raja and I have missed you boo!” Sutan called out before sashaying into the house. He kissed both of Tommy’s cheeks and then carried his bags of goodies into the kitchen. 

Isaac laughed and then hugged Tommy as well. “Hey TJ. Where’s the boss man?” He asked.

“Getting out of the shower. He should be down in a minute.” 

“I’m here now.” Adam’s voice came from the hallway. “Everyone showing up shortly?” Adam asked. 

Sutan came back from the kitchen. “No boo, it's just the four of us and a special guest if things go right.” Sutan took a seat, as did Isaac. For some reason they both looked very serious and it was setting Tommy on edge.

“What’s going on and who is the guest?” Tommy asked nervously.

“Sit down Vayvee. We, the four of us, need to talk.” 

“It's important, TJ.” Isaac added. 

Adam and Tommy Joe looked at each other and then did as was suggested. “We are going to ask some questions and we want ONLY the person we are asking to answer while the other is quiet. Is that agreed upon?” Adam looked at Tommy and then back at Sutan before nodding.

Sutan and Isaac looked at each other and appeared to be having a silent conversation. Finally Sutan turned to Adam and prepared to speak before pausing. He looked at Tommy. “Remember what I said. No comments.” He waited until Tommy Joe nodded and then looked back at Adam. “Adam, when is the last time you texted Tommy before you got him over here?” 

“I don’t know…” Adam said. “A few weeks I guess.”  
Tommy immediately scoffed but Isaac shot him a look and he shut up. Isaac then looked at Tommy. “When is the last time you texted or called Adam?” Tommy immediately bit his lip and looked down. He didn’t want to appear as weak as this would make it seem. He took a deep breath and looked back up. “The night before he showed up at my place and brought me here.” Tommy’s brown eyes met Adam’s very confused blue ones.

“But…” Adam said. 

“Shhh, boo.” Sutan said. “Isaac and I have been talking and thinking and we figured some things out. We have overheard your friends mentioning that they have heard you guys calling or texting each other but then we heard you both mentioning that you weren’t getting the messages or calls. Isaac got to wondering if there were a chance your messages weren’t getting through. He did some research and found out that it was possible one or both of your phones have been cloned to where someone is intercepting your messages and calls. Neither of you would go a year without talking to the other. If you thought about it you would know that.”

“Now it had to be someone really close to at least one of you so I had to be very careful about who I trusted. I decided only Sutan could know. We have been working together to determine who it could be but I admit we don’t know why and we still don’t know exactly who but we are working on it.” Isaac said.

“We know that you both have been hurt and angered by the distance between you two and we hoped it would help repair some of the damage if you knew neither of you had been ignoring the other.” Sutan added.

“But how?” Adam asked, he didn’t understand any of this. Why would someone do this to them?”

“So you are saying that all those times I thought that Adam was ignoring my messages and calls, he never got them?” Tommy asked. Sutan and Isaac both nodded. “So he was never ignoring me?” he added in a small voice. 

Adam heard the fear behind the question and immediately got up and came over to Tommy. “Baby, I would never ignore you. Never! I thought you didn’t want to be around me or hear from me anymore, I thought…” he stopped talking. He had thought Tommy had realized that he was in love with the blonde and decided he didn’t want to be around him anymore. His eyes met Tommy’s. “I’m not ready for that yet.” He finally said and he saw Tommy nod showing that he understood and their agreement was still going for honesty. “You have been part of my life for some of the most important things and I would NEVER just throw you or your friendship away. I should have known that wasn’t like you to ignore me.”

“We apparently both should have realized.” Tommy replied wryly. This answered a lot of Tommy’s questions and went a long way towards easing the hurt and anger. His heart was slightly soothed and less bruised than it had been moments before. He took a relieved breath and realized the crushing feeling that had been in his chest for so many months had eased a bit. He looked into Adam’s sincere blue eyes and thought for the first time that they may be able to recover what they had lost after all. Tommy gave a real smile and Adam matched it and took the blonde's hands in his.

“What exactly is all this?” a voice called from the doorway. “Did I interrupt something?”

Everyone looked up at the doorway to see Greg standing there, his eyes locked on their hands. Tommy immediately pulled away from Adam feeling betrayed. After he specifically asked for no Greg here he was in Adam’s house. Fuck! Tommy just couldn’t catch a break could he? Greg threw a hateful look at Tommy but he felt something different this time. Sutan and Isaac instantly moved closer to Tommy as if protecting him. He wasn’t alone anymore.

Isaac and Sutan shared a knowing look when they saw Greg. So it was him. Motive was suddenly completely clear and all the questions they had were answered. They now knew who had been keeping the dynamic duo apart and why. They immediately moved closer to Tommy to back him up when they saw the sheer hate directed at him from Greg. 

Adam looked up in surprise when he heard Greg’s voice. “What are you doing here, I thought we agreed…” then he saw that hateful look to Tommy and it made his blood boil. No one looked at his glitterbaby that way. “This is a private moment between friends.” He said. Adam’s brain was spinning. He noticed the look Isaac and Sutan shared and the pieces began to click into place. They had said it would just be the four of them meaning they hadn’t invited anyone else. The special guest must be the person behind all this. Greg just showed up uninvited as if he knew about a party. Adam suddenly understood exactly what had been done to he and his beloved pretty kitty and he knew who had done it. His body practically vibrated his anger. “You weren’t invited.” He finally added colder than an arctic winter. “In fact, we agreed you weren’t to be here at all while Tommy was here.” He deliberately reached out and took Tommy’s hand, showing that they were a team.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg gets a taste of his own medicine...but not where you would expect it from...
> 
> I do not know or own anyone but Greg. To the best of my knowledge this is all fiction. I make no money from this writing and do it for the sole purpose of my love of Adommy and writing. Please don't steal and lastly, if you like it, let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, my lovely readers. You are all so amazing. The review and comments have kept me smiling so much this week. I will be responding to them shortly but in the meantime, thank you a thousand times over. You guys are what keep me going. Could we be apart of a better fandom? I don't think so. So here is the newest a special delivery for our Tommy Joe's birthday. You are all amazing and I just wanted to say thank you!
> 
> Sincerely,  
> MJ (or Midge as some friends call me.)

Chapter 13

“You were not invited.” Adam said tightly. He squeezed Tommy’s hand gently while glaring at Greg.

“I know.” Greg said smoothly. He didn’t know exactly what was going on here but the Glitter bitch was involved and that meant he belonged here now. He wondered why Adam hadn’t invited him to the party and he wondered if everyone was just running late. Something was going on and he didn’t know what and it was making him a little nervous being out of the know and why were they all moving to protect the little bitch? And why was Adam giving him that angry look? He was definitely missing something and it was not making him happy at all. “I know, you didn’t want me here while Timmy was here but I figured you might want that wine you loved so much. Besides, I am used to being beside you 24/7.” He faked a laugh. “I kinda don’t know what to do with myself otherwise. “

“TOMMY.” Adam spat out. “His name is TOMMY JOE. Don’t act like you don’t know that. I can see your jealousy from here. We all can. Don’t be so fucking desperate Greg.” Adam said hatefully. “As for the 24/7, I really don’t think that is going to be a problem any longer. I don’t think I need your services anymore.”

Tommy’s eyes got huge when he heard all this going down in front of him. What the hell was going on right now? “Whoa…Um Adam, calm down. What’s going on?” Tommy asked. He felt like he was missing some important piece of the puzzle and couldn’t quite figure out what it was. He felt the comfort of Isaac and Sutan stepping close and then Adam had taken his hand right in front of Greg which he wouldn’t lie felt fucking awesome but there was still the looks being thrown back and forth and now the sheer rage on Adam’s face. He hadn’t seen Adam this angry since back in the Glam Nation days. “Why are you so angry?” He whispered. “You don’t have to fire him because he got my name wrong.”

Adam turned and looked at Tommy, his eyes becoming loving and kind, becoming the Adam he knew. “Kitty, this has nothing to do with you baby, I promise. Don’t take this on yourself.” He kissed their linked hands before turning back to Greg and standing. “Get the fuck out of my house before I beat the shit out of you. I can’t believe someone that I trusted so much has done this to us. You FUCKING KNOW how I feel about him and you still did this. I can’t forgive you and I don’t ever want to see you again.”

The light began dawning in Tommy’s mind. “Him?” He asked quietly. “He was behind all this?” Isaac took his other hand and Sutan nodded. “Why?” Tommy asked him, holding out a hand to stop Adam from stepping forward. “Why did you do this to us? To me? I had never even met you before the other night. Why?”

Greg didn’t know what they knew so he played dumb. “What are you all talking about?” He put an innocent and confused expression on his face though when he looked at Tommy his eyes glittered with anger. When Adam held up his phone angrily, Greg knew they knew. He dropped the innocent act and glared at Tommy. “Because he was mine but every time you bat your fucking eyes he comes running back to the stupid fucking straight boy. I don’t even know what the hell everyone sees in you. He’s too fucking dumb and whipped to see what you are.”

Adam jumped up and took a step toward Greg, ready to knock his ass down but before he could take another step, a blond blur flew past him. Adam watched in amazement as Tommy tackled Greg knocking him to the floor. He straddled him and began wailing on Greg, his fists flying everywhere. Adam ended up laughing before Sutan and Isaac joined in. People underestimated Tommy all the time. They thought because he was tiny and thin and wore makeup; people thought he was a wimp. They forgot that he was a head banging metal head who knew how to fight. Tommy was pulling no punches now and it appeared that Greg didn’t have a chance.

“Boo, you might want to stop him before he goes too far.” Sutan said in a bored tone not really concerned. Adam shrugged and tried to pull Tommy off but in the end it took both he and Isaac to stop Tommy. They pulled him back to the couch and all watched as Greg picked himself up off the floor slowly. His eyes would both be black and his mouth was bleeding and split. He was moving gingerly like Tommy had gotten his ribs too. 

When he was finally upright, he glared at Tommy. “You are gonna regret that, glitterbitch.” He spat out. 

“Yeah yeah yeah. What the fuck ever, asshole.” Tommy replied. “I will never regret doing that. Adam is NOT stupid and don’t you ever insult him again. He is everything you will never be. You were lucky to have someone like him and what do you do? Play your fucking games. You’re done, dude.”

Everyone kind of froze and then started laughing when they realized that Tommy hadn’t done that because of what had been done to him but rather, Tommy was defending Adam. “Get out, Greg.” Adam said in an amused tone but never looking away from Tommy. “You are not welcome here anymore. Don’t come around me or Tommy Joe ever again. He stepped forward threateningly. “Ever.”

Sutan helpfully sashayed over to the door and held it open. Greg just glared at him. “Thursday’s trash day honey, It’s time to go.” A bit of Raja popped out on that one and Tommy looked at him gratefully. Finally, seeing as how he had no choice at that moment, Greg limped his way out the door. Sutan in full diva mode, cocked his hip and slammed the door behind Greg. “That, Vayvees, is how you throw out the trash. Now let's get this party started.”

“I brought some steaks for the grill and some good veggies to throw on there too. We have some sparkling grape juice. We brought some awesome company and we are ready to party!” Isaac said, taking his cue from Sutan. He grinned and stood up and headed into the kitchen. Isaac pulled a bowl out and started marinating the steaks. Sutan conveniently decided to follow him leaving Adam and Tommy alone to discuss things after dropping off some things for Tommy to clean up his hands with.

Adam stood looking at Tommy for a moment and then moved to sit next to him. He picked up a wash cloth and dipped it in warm water. He picked up Tommy’s hand and looked at the battered knuckles and began gently cleaning them. “I would never just ignore you, kitty.” He said softly. “I’m sorry I had pulled away enough that you could believe that.”

“Adam, I….”

“Shh. Let me talk. We used to be best friends and somewhere along the way that changed. I don’t have the answers, I suspect it will take time to figure out but in the meantime, I need you to know that I understand now how my distance allowed for this whole situation. I let someone into our lives who hurt you and I will never forgive myself for that. Tommy, Pretty kitty, I would NEVER do anything to hurt you. Not ever. Its ripping me up inside…”

Tommy’s finger went over Adam’s lips. “Hush, babyboy. We both let the distance happen. I think it started innocently and we have time to work through that but now is not the time for guilt. Now is the time to finally relax with our friends and know that no matter what happens, neither of us wanted the separation that happened. That is enough for me for now.” Adam smiled and kissed his finger. 

“I still can't believe you jumped him to defend me.” Adam said in wonder. 

“He was a douche for not seeing what he had. Of course it was to defend you, I will always defend you. Plus it felt fucking great to punch the shit.out of him.”

“My little Rocky.” Adam laughed. 

In the kitchen, Sutan and Isaac heard the duo laughing and gave silent thumbs up to each other. It seemed that the tension that had been present for so long was finally gone. It was time to just relax. The two of them laughed and talked while they prepared the meal together. 

“You really texted me the other night? “ adam asked in wonder. 

Tommy immediately blushed. “Yeah, I was drunk and I was going to tell you that if you were gonna keep making my dick hard, you were going to do something about it.”

“But I hadn't seen you in almost a month… “ adam said in confusion. 

“I know. I had watched some fucking Fever videos and it got me worked up.” Tommy admitted, Wondering how Adam would take that. 

“You too?” Adam asked in a small voice. Straightening his back he looked deep into Tommy’s eyes. “So look, kitty. Obviously there is a lot to go through but I just really want to be kissing you right now. Is that wrong of me?”

Tommy smiled a big beautiful smile that was completely at odds with his words. “Well I guess if you must, I’ll just have to endure it.” Not closing his eyes, he leaned forward. 

Adam gently framed Tommy’s face with his hands, caressing the face and neck of this badass guitarist who loved him. He leaned forward and their lips met. Adam kept the kiss gentle and loving. There was time for passionate later. Now was the time to heal all those little cracks in their hearts. He pulled away and looked at Tommy. “I love you Thomas Joseph Ratliff. I am in love with you and have been for a long time. I just needed you to know that.”

Tommy grinned a huge grin at Adam. “We are so talking about that later babyboy.” Adam nodded and grinned back. “In the meantime, let's join our friends.” Adam nodded and stood, holding out his hand for Tommy. Tommy took his hand and grinning, headed into the kitchen. 

The foursome had a great time chatting and preparing their food. There was a lot of relaxation and laughter. They sat down to dinner and Sutan raised his wine glass of juice. “A toast.” Everyone followed suit with sufficiently serious faces. “This has been a year of some bad but some good has come out of it and we can now fix all the problems. It is so good to see you two back in the same room and laughing. To friends everlasting. Cheers to two of the most amazing people I have ever met.”

“Cheers!” everyone called out. 

Adam’s eyes warmed as he looked at his friends. He couldn’t ask for better. Then he looked at Tommy. Tommy Joe was laughing at something Isaac was saying. His head was thrown back in laughter, the veins popping in his neck a little bit. Adam had the sudden urge to lick them. His surge of desire surprised him. Not that he desired Tommy, he always did so that wasn’t a surprise. He had just spent so long hiding it and pushing it down and the force with which it came out was shocking...and yet not. He studied Tommy. He had loved his glitterbaby for so long. Adam had relished every one of those stage kisses and the cuddles off the stage. He would be lying if he said he had never jerked off to videos of he and Tommy onstage. Knowing that his pretty kitty actually felt the same way about him was intoxicating. He couldn’t take his eyes off Tommy. He was amazing. As much fun as he was having with his friends, he couldn’t wait for them to leave so he could have Tommy all to himself and they could have a long talk and maybe some more kissing. He grinned again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun, love and fellowship. 
> 
> I do not know or own anything and to the best of my knowledge this is fiction. I am broke and make no money off this. If you steal, I will find you and if you like it let me know.
> 
> I have also created an email eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com if you would like to be updated when I post a new chapter, send me an email and I will send out a mass e-mail each time I post so you don't have to wait and refresh to see. :)

Chapter 14

Though it was fabulous to have time with friends, Tommy and Adam were ready to be alone and talk when Isaac and Sutan finally made their way to the door. Sutan gave Tommy a huge hug. “Allow yourself to be happy Vayvee. It's long past time that I see you enjoying life again.” He pulled away and kissed Tommy’s cheek.

“Thanks, Sutan.” Tommy replied with a grin. 

Everyone said their goodbyes and Isaac finally got Sutan out to the car, everyone still laughing and happy. Adam shut the door behind them and turned to see Tommy smiling at him. Without a word Adam moved past Tommy, taking his hand as he did so and leading them back to Adam’s room. He took a seat on the bed and patted the empty space in front of him. 

“Don’t you want to clean the kitchen before we talk?” Tommy asked with a teasing grin. Adam’s OCD about cleaning was well known. Adam could be on his deathbed but the place would be spotless anyway. 

“No.” Adam said shaking his head but with a tender smile on his face. “I want us to have conversations we should have had years ago. Fuck the dishes.”

“No thanks, not my type.” Tommy quipped back and took a seat on the bed, sitting Indian style and facing Adam. “I’m ready babyboy. Where do we begin?”

“You told me how you felt at the diner but I was in such shock I never responded so let me do that now. Tommy Joe, my glitterbaby, I have been in love with you since that first AMA kiss. Our whole friendship you are constantly showing me strength and compassion and love. I have never met anyone like you and I fell so hard for you. During the GlamNation tour we kept getting closer and closer and the fans reacted so much to you and I being physical that we did it more and more. I enjoyed it, a lot, as I know you know.” 

“Glambuldge.” Tommy said as a fake cough and they both laughed. 

“The closer we got onstage, the closer we got offstage as well. I fell so hard for you but I knew we could only ever be friends. Then in Amsterdam we blurred the lines some. Then we blurred them some more. I began to realize I was waiting for a signal from you that wasn't going to come so when I met Sauli I jumped it to help me get over you. I have realized that wasn't fair to us or to Sauli and I have apologized to him for it.”

Tommy lost all joking from his expression and he reached out and touched Adam’s face gently. “Adam, I would never change you dating Sauli. You loved each other and he made you so happy. No matter what I feel or felt back then, you deserved that happiness and a partner that you could be with in public and I don't know if I could have been the way he was. I loved Sauli too in my own way once I got past my jealousy so please don't say you shouldn't have been with him or that you are sorry you were or whatever you were building up to. Sauli has been very good to both of us and it isn't fair to him to pretend otherwise.”

Adam smiled sweetly. “I didn't mean it like that kitty. I did love him, I still do in a way. I just meant I jumped into the relationship to get over you. I don’t regret my time with him and he will always be a part of my life; I just meant I rushed things far faster than I normally would in some attempt to get over how I was feeling about you. I think I used my new relationship as the excuse to pull away from our stage show to protect myself. But it honestly didn’t matter if we were kissing or just leaning against each other on stage, the love was still there. I still wanted you no matter what.” 

Adam changed position laying on his side but still facing Tommy and without even paying attention Tommy mirrored him. “For years I have wanted you Tommy Joe. But I always knew you were straight so I didn’t try. When did you actually realize your feelings?” Adam asked and reached out to gently caress Tommy’s face. 

Tommy smiled into his touch and nuzzled his face gently into it. “I started to anticipate the stage play more and more. At first you rubbing against me during the show was weird and I pretended to like it but about halfway through the tours, it wasn’t weird anymore. It was just us. It started to turn me on but I just thought it was natural because we were making out. I didn’t realize it was different until Amsterdam and then in London you had to realize something was up. I kissed you that night.”

Adam laughed. “Yeah, I honestly thought I was going to blow my load onstage right then. I had to have a few minutes to myself after that show.”

“Is that where you disappeared to that night?” Tommy laughed.

“Hey, my dream guy grabbed me and kissed me onstage in front of thousands of people.” Adam defended himself with a smirk. “It was very exciting and...stirring.” He slid a foot closer and gently touched Tommy’s lower lip. Tommy gave a smile that had his dimples popping out just a bit. It was that same partially subservient partially naughty smile he used to give on stage. He gently nipped at Adam’s finger. 

Adam suddenly couldn’t take his eyes off those beautiful lips. Tommy’s tongue darted out to wet them. Adam’s eyes were locked and he felt suddenly that he couldn’t draw a full breath. It was like Tommy had stolen all the air in the room. Tommy gave a little smirk and suddenly Adam realized that his kitty knew exactly what he was doing. Tommy scooted forward a fraction and leaned in. He touched his lips gently to Adam’s. 

Adam sighed gently and put an arm over Tommy's hips pulling the smaller man closer. He let Tommy control the kiss and the blonde didn't disappoint. Adam felt that teasing little tongue and opened his mouth. He felt Tommy’s tongue slide against his in a sexy little tango and he moaned softly. 

Tommy pulled away gently but with an evil expression. He gestured down. “See, glambuldge.” Adam froze for half a minute before he cracked up laughing. “It helps so much to know that you weren’t avoiding me.” He said with a smile. “I couldn’t understand what had happened between us and that's why I thought there was no coming back for us. I don’t what is going to happen between us and I doubt you do either. Are we going to be together now? I mean we have both admitted we love each other. What does that mean for us and do we figure it out?”

“I don't know.” Adam admitted honestly. “I want to take this slow and do this right but I also want to fuck you into the mattress so… “ both men moaned at the visual. “How about we play it slow and have lots of kissing and cuddling and see what happens.”

Tommy looked disappointed. “So even after all this and knowing we are both in love it still isn't enough to try us out.”

“Kitty you are looking at that the wrong way. I just meant give both of us time to acclimate to being a couple. I mean being with me isn't without its hardships. Are you prepared to go public to being with me? It's gonna be rough on you with lots of comments because you have always said you are straight. Are you ready for that? Plus I'll be on the road and you will be here. How do you feel about that? “

Tommy listened and really thought about what Adam was saying. It actually did make sense. He knew he was in love with Adam and Adam knew and that was really all that mattered for the moment. Plus he didn't like the idea of being at home while Adam was on tour. He noticed Adam was watching him nervously and he smiled softly and nodded. 

“Makes sense.” Tomm said and Adam immediately relaxed in relief. “We still get to have lots of kissing, right? “ he asked with a grin. 

“Oh hell yes! We have years worth of kissing to makeup for. “ Adam said fervently and his smile was brilliant. Adam moved closer again and leaned in to capture Tommy's lips. They both sighed happily into the kiss. 

Adam took charge a bit and gently rolled onto Tommy. He settled between Tommys legs and just kissed him. They took their time kissing. Those kisses you don't ever want to stop because they are just that good. Those type kisses. They allowed each other free reign of their mouths and each took advantage. Adam tongue seeking all the flavors of Tommy, dominant and insistant. Tommys a little more hesitant and shy but curiously exploring. Adam finally dropped his head to Tommy’s chest with a groan. 

Adam took a shaky breath and Tommy ran a hand through his hair. He was hard as a rock being in this position with Tommy. “You get me incredibly worked up by just breathing kitty and to be here doing this with you is going to be hard. So can we pause for the night?” He hoped that Tommy understood he just wanted to stop before it went too far.

Tommy smiled down at Adam understanding exactly what Adam meant. “It's ok baby boy. We can take it a step at a time.” Tommy loved Adam, that he had no question of but he knew that Adam had had a point earlier. He was fine with his family and friends knowing about a possible relationship with Adam but he didn’t know that he was ready for the whole world to know about his intimate feelings. Not yet anyway. He ran his hand through Adam’s hair repeatedly as they settled into rambling conversations about nothing important. Adam lay his head on Tommy’s chest and Tommy played in his hair. Occasionally their fingers tangled together. They talked and smiled and laughed together. No matter what had happened between them, they had found their friendship again. And they were working together on more. 

“I was thinking kitty, we could take a vacation together. You wanna go to Cabo together or maybe the bahamas?” Adam asked suddenly. 

Tommy looked at Adam in surprise. “We don't need to do that.” Tommy said a bit confused. “Why?”

“I just thought it would be nice.” Adam answered with shrug.

“Adam, let's get used to each other and figure out where we stand together before we take a trip together.”

“So you weren’t ruling it out.” Adam said slyly. “You are just saying not now.”

Tommy smiled. “Yes, I’m just saying just not right now.” 

“Then I’ll hold hope.” Adam said with a grin. “So we are doing this, right?”

“Fuck, I hope so.” Tommy replied. “I won't lie, I’m afraid to lose what we are gaining back. It terrifies me but it eases my mind to know the separation wasn't your fault. Just please be honest with me as we do this and if you decide I am not what you want, please, please tell me.”

“I promise glitterbaby. If I decide you are not what I want… not gonna happen by the way, I will let you know.” 

“I love you, Adam.”

“I love you too, Tommy.” 

They decided some more kisses were needed before they went to sleep. It was a relaxing and restful night full of love and promise.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> moving the story forward. Friends, family and soft touches. 
> 
> l do not know or own any of them but I do own this story. I make no money off of this complete work of fiction. don't steal my story and if you like my writing please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, Thank you my lovely readers. I see your comments on my story every where from here and to my email to youtube and this week I even saw a mention on Twitter which thrilled me to no end. I stay quiet when its mentioned because I like to stay anonymous to an extent, or at least I don't want my RL face to be put in with my fanfiction in a place where the subjects might see it. With that said.... It is amazing and humbling to know that my story is touching you. You guys continue to surprise and amaze me with your love of my writing. I believe this one is winding down somewhat and this was a hard chapter to write to be honest. It went in a very different direction than I was expecting but I think it works well. Please also know that I have zero problems writing smut but this situation called for a delicate hand so forgive me for not being as detail oriented. 
> 
> I am going to start posting a different story of mine. I have had the first chapter finished for awhile and wanted to finish this one first but it isn't going away so I am going to post it anyway. I do not leave stories unfinished though so don't worry, I'm still writing this one although I doubt there will be more than 5 chapters left in this one unless it goes in another surprise direction.
> 
> Also, I started an email addy eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com if you want to be alerted to any updates in my writing just drop me a line and let me know. I will send out an email anytime I update.

Adam and Tommy spent the next week and a half doing a lot of kissing and snuggling and also a lot of talking. They also decided together that they wanted to have a real barbecue with their friends to let them know what had happened. Their friends deserved to know the truth about the distance between them. Everyone was understandably confused and once they understood, quite angry. Tommy however loved the night. Adam never stepped very far from him and they were constantly touching and holding hands. Tommy was back to snuggling with Adam every chance he got and was frequently found on Adam’s lap. 

Adam’s house became the gathering place for all their friends. It seemed someone was always coming by. Tommy’s stomach problems disappeared leaving him free to eat as he chose. He was starting to gain a little of the weight back that he had lost and didn’t look quite so sickly anymore which was a relief to everyone. After a full week of friends dropping by at all hours, Adam finally put his foot down. He told everyone that he and Tommy both had things they needed to be doing and that they wanted some time together too. Everyone seemed to accept it, sly smiles were given but no one argued. The one thing they avoided talking about was what they were going to do when Queen went back on the road in a week or so. Neither of them was ready for that discussion.

Tommy resumed his lessons, taking more pride and joy in the lessons than he had in a long time. Adam frequently sat across the room watching him give them. It made Tommy smile every time he looked up to see Adam’s eyes on him. His latest lesson with Vanessa she even paused and smiled brightly at him. He looked curiously at her and cocked his eyebrow, silently asking what she was smiling that way for. “You look so much happier every lesson. You almost look like you are in love.” She explained with a grin. Tommy just blushed and looked down for a minute before looking over at Adam. Adam, the shit, just winked at him.

Tommy had gone with Adam to visit his mother. She had folded him into her arms and made him cry. Being around Leila was both pleasure and pain. He had been relatively close to her at one point and she was rather a mother figure to him but it also made Tommy miss his own mother with a fierce longing. Leila seemed to know and understand. She motioned for Adam to leave them alone and he nodded and quietly left the room. Tommy cried to her and clung to her. Leila made soothing sounds and rubbed his back while he cried himself out.

When Tommy finally pulled away and wiped his eyes in embarrassment, Leila just cupped his cheek. “Tommy, honey, you are welcome here anytime. You don’t have to wait until Adam brings you.” she said gently with a sweet smile. “Now, let me get a look at you.” Her eyes, so like her sons, missed nothing. Tommy had the look of someone who had been ill. He was down a bit of weight but now he was looking healthier. She was sure that the new tension between he and Adam had something to do with that. They had always been held together by invisible rubber bands that always seemed to draw them back together if they had been apart for too long. 

“I didn’t know if it would be ok to come by....and I didn’t know if I could.” Tommy admitted. 

Leila just looked at him for a moment. “Dia wouldn’t want you to be living life this way, Tommy.” she said gently and watched his eyes fill with tears again. “You have been existing and hiding out, honey. That isn’t living. Don’t be afraid to find happiness. Dia wanted you to be happy. Your parents were thrilled when you joined Adam’s tour and started chasing your own dreams.”

“I feel guilty.” he said softly. “I worry sometimes that it really should have been me.”

“She wouldn’t have wanted that, Tommy. You were her baby. She was so proud of you and the only thing she wanted was for you to be happy. We talked a lot, you know. She and I grew quite close while our boys toured the world together.” She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “Now catch me up, tell me about you. Who are you dating now?” She looked at him curiously when he blushed. 

Leila looked up at the door and saw Adam leaning in the doorway. He was watching Tommy and the look was intense and rather intimate. As if he knew, Tommy’s eyes were drawn to the doorway and the pair exchanged looks and seemed to have a silent conversation without even being aware of it. Her eyebrows went up slightly. So it was like that. She and Dia had discussed this very scenario more than once. They had each wondered when their boys would finally admit their feelings. She patted Tommy’s hand, drawing his eyes back to her. “Dia would have been happy about that too.” She said simply and then ruffled his hair and went into the kitchen. 

Tommy watched her go and then looked up at Adam who moved closer and took the seat his mother had just vacated. “She knows. How does she know?” He asked in wonder.

“Baby, I don’t know but she has been another mother to you for years and she definitely can read me like a book so just roll with it.” Adam said and took Tommy’s hand. “Are you okay with her knowing?”

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Tommy said softly. “I miss mom.” His voice broke a little.

“I know, baby.” Adam said. He silently kicked himself for not realizing that Tommy needed him even more because of his mother's death and Adam was off doing his own thing. He felt incredibly selfish when he looked back at it. His mother re-entered the room with a tray full of coffee mugs on it. 

Leila served Tommy some coffee, remembering just how he liked it. He gave a watery smile feeling like a bit of an idiot. She just smiled back and sipped her own coffee. Tommy wrapped his hands around the warm mug and let the warmth soak into him. It helped. His smile became stronger and he listened as Adam caught his mother up on everything. By the time he was refilling his cup, Tommy felt normal again. Leila had always been good at that. It was like a quiet strength she infused you with just by being in her presence. 

Adam was quiet on the ride home and Tommy looked at him curiously. Adam had the look on his face that he always got when he was chewing over something. Tommy knew better than to ask about it. Adam wouldn’t talk until he was ready to. When they entered the house, Adam threw his keys in the bowl, there for that purpose and silently reached out and took Tommy’s hand. He led Tommy up the stairs and into the room they were pretty much sharing at this point. He kept going though and led Tommy into the bathroom. Adam turned and started a bath running and then turned back to Tommy. 

Still in silence, Adam gently kissed Tommy, putting all his love into the kiss but keeping it gentle. He slowly, gently and silently took off Tommy’s clothes until his lover stood nude before him. He stripped his own clothes off as well. He touched Tommy so gently and lovingly. Just the barest stroke down his arm or a finger sliding across his rib cage. It was really the first time they were naked in front of each other since they had decided to give this a go. Tommy desperately wanted to drink in Adam with his eyes but instead, his eyes were locked on Adam’s and those blue eyes didn’t even seem to blink. Tommy stepped forward and kissed Adam. It broke the spell and Adam groaned. 

Adam took Tommy’s hand and stepped into the bathtub. He settled himself and Tommy took his place in front, his back resting against Adam’s chest. Adam was still silent and just cuddling Tommy close to him. They just lay together for awhile and it should have been relaxing except the tension in Adam’s body was growing.

“Babyboy, you ever going to say what is worrying you back there?” Tommy finally asked.

“I wasn’t there when you needed me.” Adam’s voice was broken. “It just hit me that you have seriously been through hell this past year and I haven’t been there for you. No matter if you really hadn’t been answering my calls or texts, I should have been here anyway.” He took a shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry glitterbaby. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Tommy just smiled and turned his head to kiss Adam’s neck. “I’m okay now, babyboy. I’m not perfect but I’m happier than I have been in a long time. If we are going to really try this...and I want to...we can’t live in the past. We have to be able to move forward.” He turned and straddled Adam’s thighs, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck. “Babyboy, I know you thrive on guilt and worry and duty, but this time, just let it go.” He kissed Adam gently and licked at Adam’s lips. Adam opened his mouth to Tommy, and Tommy felt his body relaxing bit by bit. 

Tommy gave Adam one last lingering kiss and then stood and stepped out of the bath. He dried himself with a towel and then led Adam over to the bed. They both lay on their sides, and Tommy learned the feel of Adam’s body. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” He asked softly and licked a path of freckles on Adam’s shoulder. 

Adam just smiled. “Not as beautiful as you kitty.”

“I’m ready babyboy.” Tommy said softly with a shy smile. 

“Ready for what?.....” Adam started asking and then froze, realizing what Tommy was saying. “Are you sure, baby?” He questioned. Tommy’s only response was a wicked little smirk and him wrapping a hand around Adam. And little Adam was definitely paying careful attention all of a sudden. Tommy’s chuckle was cut off by his kiss. He changed their positions never ending the kissing. He settled between Tommy’s thighs which opened for him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Their bodies appeared to know exactly what to do and how. “We don’t have to do this now baby. We haven’t even really gotten each other off except that time on the couch. We can do other, less scary stuff to start.”

Tommy just smiled at him. “It isn’t scary, Adam. I trust you. I know you will take care of me, I know you would never hurt me intentionally. I know that you will do everything you can to make sure I enjoy it to because you are you and you, Adam Lambert couldn’t do any less. There will be plenty of time for hard and fast fucking, but tonight, just for tonight, make love to me.” 

“How can I resist my pretty kitty?” Adam asked with a grin. 

When his lube slicked fingers slid into Tommy, Tommy just smiled up at him and moved with him. He let Adam open him slowly and easily. Tommy would never have imagined that he wouldn’t have a hint of nervousness at the thought of being fucked in the ass, especially by Adam who wasn’t exactly small in that department; he wasn’t though. There was no tensing up or fear about what he was doing. It was exactly who and what he wanted. There was nothing to be worried over anyway. This was Adam. Soon he felt Adam’s hard, hot length at his entrance. 

“You are positive?” Adam asked for the last time and Tommy just smiled and arched up to kiss him. He felt Adam sliding into him, easing his way in with little thrusts of his hips. It wasn’t the most comfortable of situations but it was Adam and that made everything worth it. Then Adam brushed something inside of him and suddenly Tommy was feeling much more comfortable and it became an act of enjoyment as well as love.

They took their time, rocking together. Meeting each other's movements and anticipating each other's needs. Now that they were finally here, neither of them wanted to rush it. By the time Adam finally touched Tommy’s cock and began moving his hand in the same rhythm of their hips, they were both drenched in sweat and aching for release. They found their release together and cuddled each other before drifting off to sleep.

Greg watched the screen in anger. The angle of the camera caught everything. The look on Adam’s face was the worst part of it. The look of sheer love on his face just made Greg so angry. He added the video to his hard drive of videos and pictures of them. He had a plan, he just had to pick when it was going to go down. He’d have been happy to have the kid out of their lives but that was before Tommy had jumped him. Now he wanted to annihilate him and he had everything he needed right on this hard drive.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam leaves for tour and they have to learn how to be apart so soon after getting together. Greg's endgame has begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is complete fiction and nothing is this story has anything to do with reality except that everyone but Greg actually exists. And if Greg exists, we can all take turns beating the crap out of him. I am broke and make no money from this. Please don't steal and please let me know if you like my writing. 
> 
> If you want to be alerted when I update a story email me at eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and let me know which story and I will send an alert anytime I update that story.
> 
> Now for Chapter 16...

The day had finally arrived and Tommy kept biting his lip while Adam organized his bags. “We can do this, baby.” He said, moving to pull Tommy into his arms. “I promise, we can do this.” Tommy nodded and melted into him. “I will do whatever you need me to to make you feel secure and know that this...us...YOU are what I want.” Tommy looked up with a wry grin. 

“I don’t worry about that, babyboy.” Tommy touched Adam’s face gently. “I don’t worry about us anymore. I know we love each other and that's all I need.”

Adam’s eyes lit up and he leaned down to kiss Tommy Joe. Tommy melted into him, his head tilting for a better angle. He allowed his tongue to tangle with Tommy’s for a few minutes. He finally stepped back. “We are going to talk every day, right?”

“Right. We’ll be ok, babyboy.” Tommy reassured with a smile.

“We finally found our way to each other and I don’t want to lose you. It scares me. I would do anything to keep you with me. Are you sure you don’t want to go on tour with us?” Adam asked and Tommy laughed.

“That would raise some eyebrows.” Tommy said wiggling his own eyebrows. “Come on babyboy. We talked about this. I will come visit for a weekend every month and every other month I’ll visit for a little longer. Until then, we have our phones. I finally got everything I ever wanted and I finally found all the happiness I could ever want. I won’t let you go easily...or ever.”

“I like the sound of that.” Adam said with a grin. “I know you already said no but I’m telling you again you can stay here while I am gone. I kind of like the thought of you in my bed while I talk to you.” He gently caressed Tommy’s face. 

“I will be here a little bit.” Tommy reassured. “I’m taking care of Pharaoh while you are gone and I may do a snuggle on the bed…” He leaned closer and kissed Adam. “while I’m talking to you so you can picture me here.” 

Adam laughed. “That works for me.” He hears the horn honk outside and his face grows more serious. “I love you, Tommy Joe. Don’t forget that and don’t doubt it. I always have and I always will.”

“I won’t Adam. I promise. You are my soul mate. I hate that it took us this long but I’m not letting you go now.” He gave a tender smile and kissed Adam softly and lovingly. “I’ll see you in a few weeks. Now go before I grab you and drag you upstairs for a repeat of last night.” 

“Promises promises.” Adam said with a leer. He grabbed his bags and with one last look back at Tommy Joe, left to start his tour, leaving this time was the hardest thing he had ever done and for once, Adam was not as excited about his tour. Why the hell had they waited so long? He fake smiled his way through to the plane and sat waiting to board. He pulled out his phone and looked at the selfie he and Tommy had taken the night before. Tommy had been sitting in his lap and laid back against him. Tommy was laughing and Adam was kissing his neck. Pulling up his texts he sent a message to Tommy. --I miss you already. I’m getting ready to board. I love you.-- 

The next week went by slowly for them both. They talked daily but it wasn’t enough for either of them. They made the best of it and Tommy watched every youtube video of a performance he could. Adam was bringing the audience to their knees over and over. He was so good at wringing every emotion he could from a crowd. Tommy was so proud of him, so amazingly proud. 

Tommy spent his time on lessons, playing with the dogs and even visiting Leila a couple times. He lived for his phone calls and texts with Adam. He even made a point of visiting their mutual friends so that everyone could see he was better now. He ate lunch with Liz, went clothes shopping with Sutan, jammed with Isaac and went to a show with Monte. Just spending time with everyone was good and for awhile it took his mind off things. 

Adam had been gone for two weeks and Tommy was hitting a low point in his moods. He was beginning to know how his girlfriends had always felt when he hit the road. It sucked ass. He became moody and whiny and he knew it was beginning to show. It didn’t help that he knew what a sexual being Adam was and always had been and he knew that Adam was horny by now and thinking about the dick being thrown in his face at every show had Tommy jealous and worried. 

Adam for his part seemed to know and that night he called Tommy on skype. When Tommy answered, he swallowed hard seeing Adam laid on a hotel room bed, cock in hand. Tommy was so glad he had the apartment to himself and quickly stripped his own clothes off. “I miss you.” Adam moaned. “I want you so much.”

“I want you too.” Tommy stuttered back, unable to take his eyes off the vision of Adam in front of him. “What made this happen?”

“I’ve been missing you and I’ve been horny and mostly I just wanted to be able to look at your face when we both cum.” Adam told him honestly while jerking himself and swiping his thumb over the head occasionally. “Fuck I miss you. I want to be kissing you right now.”

Tommy’s mouth went dry at the sight. A strangled moan escaped his throat without warning. “I want you to be. I wish you could fuck me into the mattress right now.” Tommy’s hand went to his own hardness and began using the same rhythm as Adam. “Fuck. I hate this…” Tommy cuts off his words abruptly, now is not the time. “I want to touch you. How do you want me to touch you? Touch yourself babyboy.”

Adam drank in the sight of Tommy. “Fuck!” He slid a hand over his face and traced over his lips. “I want to feel your lips here.” he said and watched as Tommy licked those lips. “I want to taste you again and feel your tongue.” Tommy’s lips quirked a bit at that. He touched the area just behind his ear. “I want to kiss you right here and hear that noise you make.” he grinned when he heard the breathy squeak Tommy made. “Mmm.. yep, that noise.” 

“I want you to.” Tommy said. “I want to do all that and then I want you to slide into me and let me feel you. I want us to melt together and try to become one person.” His hand started moving faster and he notices Adam is matching pace. 

“I want you to ride me like you did that day on the couch.” Adam said with a moan. “I want you on my lap, head thrown back, eyes blown with passion and taking everything for yourself. I want you to have everything. You taking charge and taking your pleasure...that's so fucking hot baby.”

Tommy moaned at the picture Adam is painting. “We are so doing that, soon.” he grunted and bit his lip. “I’m close babyboy.” He was a little embarrassed by how fast this is going to be but at the same time he couldn’t seem to get enough of Adam and they haven’t been together in two weeks. He was in a perpetual state of horny. He blocked that out and just focused on Adam.

“I am too Kitty, let go. Cum for me.” Adam’s voice got that commanding tone and Tommy felt his body betray him by immediately obeying. He let loose with several creative uses of the word fuck as his body arched and his toes curled but he was gratified to see Adam in the same position. 

Once they both came down from their orgasms they cleaned up quickly and spent a couple hours just chatting and it helped being able to actually see each other. “I think this is the last time I can tour with Queen.” Adam said sadly.

“But you love being with them and I know you love the stage.” Tommy protested. “I would be really mad at you if you quit doing something you love because of us.”

“Thats only part of the reason.” Adam responded. “I keep hearing from fans how much they miss hearing my stuff and I mean I do occasionally perform my own stuff in there too but it isn’t the same. The crowd is more Queenies than Glamberts, you know? Queenies are awesome but I really want to rock out with Glamberts.”

“Babyboy, you need to talk to Brian and Roger about how you feel. I’m sure they would understand and maybe they could suggest something that would help.”

“I just don’t want to let them down.” Adam said worriedly.

“There you go again babyboy, taking on all the stress of the world. Let the people who care about you help with the load. You don’t have to always be superman.”

“You’re right baby. Thank you.” Adam gave him a real smile. They talked for awhile longer and by the time they cut off their call, both of them felt loads better. They had rebonded and re-cemented their relationship. They decided together that they needed to Skype at least twice a week. Seeing each other while talking did more to take the edge off then just hearing the voice. 

“I’ll be there in two weeks babyboy. We’ve got this. I love you.” Tommy said with a grin and kissed his fingers and then touched the camera.

“I love you too, glitterbaby!” Adam responded, his eyes lighting up with that love. He blew his own kiss to the camera and then disconnected the call. He felt better than he had since the last time he had seen Tommy. Seeing his face helped far more than he thought it would. He saw a notification of an email and clicked it. His expression went from confused to horrified as he read and then when he clicked the video his stomach dropped. Fuck. Now what.

Adam,

I waited far too long to let you go that easily and I may have just been happy with letting the little glitterbitch leave your life but instead he had to jump me while you laughed. That wasn’t very nice lover. Remember who holds all your little secrets. You will drop Tommy. Period. You and he are done for good. If you ever speak to him again, I go public with all the videos I have. And not just the ones I made of us, especially the ones when you are being more rough. That wouldn’t look too good would it? But the one below would just destroy the little bitch don’t you think? After all he is straight, right? You and I are officially a couple within one week and I will be rejoining you as your PA, with a raise I might add. You owe me now and I will collect. See you soon lover.

Greg.

The video was a collage of all the times he and Tommy had made love. Adam felt sick. Tommy couldn’t be outed like that. He could deal with his dominate side videos, it wasn’t like he particularly hid that side of himself, hell he paraded it in front of the fans on stage and had songs about it. There would be fall out but he could deal with it. He couldn’t out Tommy like this though. Not for anything. Adam had no idea who he could turn to about this.

Tommy heard his phone ping a message. He lazily reached over and grabbed it. He looked at his messages in confusion and then in anger. 

\--He is mine now glitterbitch. He has touched you for the last time.--

Fucking Greg. He should have killed him while he had the chance. Now what did that message mean? He dialed Adam even though they had just hung up but it went to voicemail. He tried to reconnect on skype but the call wasn’t answered. Whatever it was; they would get through it together. Greg would never have Adam again. Adam deserved love not games. Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he began plotting.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> love will find a way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I apologize for the delay. I have spent all week sick as a dog with a nasty flu bug and have had enough energy to work, cough, eat a very little bit, sneeze, sleep and breath and thats about it. I'm still sick but am getting better finally so here I am. See Vanessa, I promised I was writing; you just got off twitter and went to bed too early. or maybe you were too late at night and I was too early in the morning...either way, he is your Adommy fix and thank you for checking on me this week and all the get well wishes.  
> I know you were dying to say "bitch i know your sick but you can write from bed." lol
> 
> I do not know or own any of the people depicted except Greg whom I would murder if I could. This is, to the best of my knowledge, complete fiction. I write for the love of the writing and the love of the story and therefore make no money from it. Please do not steal my work; it is my pride and joy and what gets me up in the morning.
> 
> Thank you for reading. If you like what I write, let me know. You can email me at eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com to be added to an alert list to know when I update. Just let me know which stories you want to be updated on. You all mean so much more to me than you can imagine.
> 
> all conversation surrounded by -- denotes text messages.
> 
> Now for Chapter 17...

Adam made a few calls and several plans started coming together. His friends were determined to help and everyone wanted to keep Tommy from getting hurt and to keep them together ian the happiness they had finally found together. Finally, seeing he had missed calls from Tommy; Adam frowned. The only reason Tommy would have reached out to him right after they spoke is if Greg reached out to him to. I never should have stopped Tommy from kicking his ass. Adam thought. 

\--Trust me, Glitterbaby. I love you and nothing will ever change that. I finally have you and I won’t let that go. Please just trust me.-- 

Tommy sat up when his phone pinged letting him know he had a text and he read the message. So Adam was plotting too, huh? Good. Tommy made a few calls himself and then he called Leila. It was time to get his second mom involved as well. It was time she knew what was truly going on. 

\--Fine. You win. For now. But don’t think I won’t spend every minute trying to find a way out of this, even you can’t be that stupid. The world can think we are together but you will always know how much I despise you. You will have me publicly but Tommy Joe will always have my heart and you will never replace or even come close to him.--

\--I’ll work with it lover. Now send me a plane ticket and i’ll remind you what blow jobs feel like from someone who actually knows what they are doing.--

\--so your lengthy experience on your knees being a bitch for any man is supposed to somehow be more enticing than the man who experiences everything with me for the first time because we mean that much to each other? That first night with him was the single greatest experience of my life. I’m sure you could see that since you have a video of it. Have I ever looked at you the way I did at him?--

\--quit trying to make me mad lover. I have worked on this for far too long to allow you to antagonize me right when I have you where I want you. I outsmarted you and the glitterbitch.--

\--lmao, if you think for one second that Tommy will take this without fighting, you have sorely underestimated him--

\--he has no control. He has spent the last year crying and begging for precious adam to stop ignoring him and please please just talk to him. It was laughingly easy to break the dynamic duo apart.--

\--you keep saying you have planned this for too long but you only started working for me a year ago. You moved awfully fast--

\--impressed lover? I planned for 2 years prior to that. I have put the last three years of my life into being yours. Letting you own me. Being your submissive was better than I dreamed. I want more, I want you to have all the control over me. Even knowing how you will punish me for this has me so excited. I’m jerking off to the thought.--

\--thats disgusting. You really don’t understand dominate/submissive relationships at all. First of all the submissive has all the power in their relationship and the dominate would do anything to keep his submissive happy. You just like being punished and what you are doing right now anyway is asking to be dominated while still trying to dominate me yourself. It doesn’t work that way. You would never fully give me control because you know damn well if you do; I’m gone. There is literally nothing you can offer me that is even a fraction as tempting as Tommy.--

Adam knew he was walking a very fine line right now. He wanted as much detail and fuel as he could get without pushing so hard that Greg would retaliate against Tommy. He didn’t care what it took, he was finishing this and Greg was done. He would not betray Tommy. Not ever. They had just found their way back to each other and he was not risking that. He would fight with everything he had to keep Tommy safe and loved forever.

Tommy rang the doorbell and when Leila answered he smiled at her. “Tommy Joe, honey, come on in.” She said and hugged him. 

“We are going to be joined shortly by Isaac. I hope that's ok. There are some things going on that you need to know about.”

Leila just looked at Tommy for a minute before touching his cheek gently. “Of course it's fine for him to come too. Am I about to find out what has been going on for the last year?”

“Yes.” Tommy answered and looked down for a minute and taking a deep breath. When he looked back up, he looked stronger. “Yes you are.” 

Leila made some coffee as they waited for Isaac to arrive. Tommy took his cup and drank it for something to do. Shortly the doorbell rang again and Tommy went to answer it; returning moments later with Isaac behind him. “Hello Isaac, it's good to see you honey.” She said with a smile.

“Thanks Ma Lambert! You look gorgeous as always.” Isaac never failed to flirt with her, probably because he knew it creeped Adam out. Tommy always found it rather funny and Leila just took it in stride and laughed. 

“Well boys, lets sit down. I’m ready to hear all this.” Leila was, to be honest a little scared of what they were going to tell her. Nothing she had come up with in her head made sense. She knew there had been distance between Tommy and Adam and didn’t understand why; as close as they had always been from day one she didn’t know how they could go more than a couple days without reconnecting. She sensed that the distance between them had been caused by something else but she didn’t know how distant they actually were. Adam just kind of quit talking about Tommy all of a sudden and then Greg was with him most of the time so she couldn’t ask. 

“I really don’t know how to start so I’m just going to tell you about the last year.” Tommy finally said and licked his lips nervously. He began to pour out the story of his alienation and the communication errors. He was telling it solely from his perspective. Leila’s face grew more and more concerned and stormy as he spoke. When Tommy finished, Isaac took over and told his part and what he had discovered. Finally Tommy finished with the text he had received. To his surprise, Isaac added on after that, telling Adam’s part since he had been one of the calls Adam had made.

“He has a video of us?” Tommy asked in confusion. Isaac nodded. Ok, that actually made sense. Now Tommy understood a little bit better. Though it was embarrassing to have Leila know that there is a video of him having sex with her son but it wasn’t like Adam was particularly a sexual. The man kinda puts it all out there so she was used to it.

Leila listened to everything and sat quietly for a few minutes. Finally she looked up at Tommy. “Ok, so you are all kind of working behind the scenes to derail this and I will do anything I can to help but I need you to think about something Tommy. If this all goes south, there is a good chance he will release that video. How do you feel about that? That is what you need to take some time and decide. It is one thing for you and Adam to quietly explore your relationship together and you both should know that I fully support you two together. You were always meant to be together right from the first meeting.” She gave an affectionate smile and patted Tommy’s hand. “But if that video releases that isn’t rumors or speculations. That will be evidence of you very publically being outed. Are you ready for that?” 

Leila hated having to even discuss this. She was thrilled that Tommy and Adam had finally opened their hearts to each other and she wanted them to be able to explore that new and fragile love together. The two belonged together. Everyone knew it, you need only watch the way they gravitated to each other, eyes meeting every minute or so and everyone could see that rubber band drawing them back together. She was beyond angry at hearing what all they had been through and was a bit angry at them both for not realizing the actual issue but she let that go.It was in the past and she couldn’t do anything about it at this time. She hated having to force Tommy to face coming out so soon after things started.

Tommy, for his part looked surprised. He sat quietly for a moment. “Honestly, Leila, I hadn’t even thought about it. It isn’t something I am particularly worried about. I plan to spend the rest of my life with Adam. He is the love of my life and being with him kinda means being in public. I am really not concerned with what anyone thinks of it. It isn’t anyone’s business but ours and he and I get it so what do I care?”

Leila smiled, relieved. “Good. Then how can I help.”

“I think you should be the go between for Adam and Tommy.” Isaac suggested. “Greg is going to be trying to control everything Adam does again and that will include who he talks to. If you can talk to Adam and let him know that Tommy is ready to go with any plan and let him know that Tommy loves him, I think it will help.” Tommy nodded in agreement to Isaac’s idea. 

Leila smiled and agreed to call Adam that day. She looked back at Tommy. “Even if you are fine being outed that way, you probably should still call Lisa.” She suggested gently. 

“Already planning on heading there after this.” Tommy said. 

“Do you think he is already monitoring Adam’s calls and texts again?” Isaac asked. 

“Probably safe to assume that if he isn’t yet, it will be any day. Fuck! We just did the factory reset to delete the software and now we will have to do it again.” Tommy groaned. 

Leila called Adam and put him on speakerphone, Tommy and Isaac knowing to be quiet. “Hello honey.” She said when he answered tiredly. They chit chatted about nothing of importance for a few minutes before Leila threw in seeing an old friend of Adam’s from high school. “Joey has come a long way since then and seems to have found his place in the world again. Anyway, it was so good to see him and catch up. He told me to tell you hello and he supports you even though you guys had that falling out.” She said as if it were of no importance.

“Who?”Adam asked in confusion.

“Joey, dear. From your tutoring in high school?” She reminded him gently. Adam went quiet for a moment. 

“Ohhh, that Joey.” He finally said as he caught on. Adam had never tutored in high school, he had been too busy. “Wow that was a blast from the past. I haven’t talked to him in far too long. If you happen to see him again, tell him I said hey. Glad he is doing better.”

“Well that's all the news from here.” Leila sighed. “You take care of yourself out there.”

“I will mom, I love you.” Adam responded. His voice got stronger and everyone know he was now speaking to Tommy. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He said and Tommy had to bite his lip to keep from blurting out a response. 

Leila grinned. “The feeling is very mutual babyboy.” She replied with a wink at Tommy. Adam laughed and they disconnected. Tommy immediately tackled Leila in a hug thanking her profusely. 

The three of them sat making plans and phone calls for a couple more hours and on the other side of the world, Adam was finally able to sleep knowing that Tommy knew what was happening and that they were still together in this. He loved that Tommy had talked to his mother about all this. It helped to know that his mother had their backs.

Adam purchased Greg the ticket to him and booked a second room, far from his and much less nice for the next hotel night. He wrote down all the details of the purchases and reservations and sent copies to Greg. 

\--you don’t have to send me copies. You know i see everything you do. And don’t think i didn’t notice that room is far away but i’ll be staying with you so it won’t matter-- 

Greg had made him redownload the tracker software just after he had sent his message to Tommy. At least that had gotten through. Adam hated having his every move watched. He already had to deal with cameras everywhere but now he didn’t even have the privacy of his own thoughts or friends. He typed out a response.

\--yeah, i won’t bother next time. You aren’t worth the courtesy--

\--careful lover. Don’t make me mad--

\--not your lover and never will be. This can be in public because I don’t have a choice but you are never touching me intimately again. You disgust me--

\--i would worry about that, lover but you and I both know you have never gone more than a month without getting at least head so you will give in eventually even if only because you are horny. I don’t particularly care why--

Adam shuddered at the text. Yuck. How had he ever been attracted to this guy? Oh yeah, he had been trying to get over Tommy by picking someone so opposite. Well he’d show Greg, no matter how long it took them to resolved this he would not be sleeping with Greg. Even if the man forced him to sleep in the same bed, he wasn’t going to give his body. That was Tommy’s, period. Just like his heart.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shits about to get real....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you my lovely readers. You are all so amazing! I needed to write today to put myself in a happier place, the place Adommy always seems to get me. Anyway, you guys and the two of them always seem to put me in a great mood...though Greg creeps me out and makes me angry. What part of my psyche did he come from? Just saying. This story is to the best of my knowledge complete fiction and I do not know or own any of the characters involved except Greg and now Tim. They are my own creations. If you like what I write, please let me know, it feeds my muse. If you want to be alerted to updates, you can email me at eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and let me know what stories you want to be alerted to updates for. 
> 
> Now on to the story.

The next week went by far too slowly for Greg and much too fast for everyone else. Greg joined Adam on tour and immediately cuddled up to him in front of the cameras. Adam played his part but if you paid attention the smile never reached his eyes and he never looked truly happy. Always, the second the cameras were gone Adam moved out of Greg’s touch. Greg for his part played a simpering man in love while the cameras rolled but when they were off he made derogatory comments about Tommy and consistently tried to corner Adam. 

He had been on the road with Adam for two days when Adam entered the bathroom thinking he was alone only to find Greg jacking off in full view. He was utterly disgusted and it only grew when Greg met his eyes and came with a breathy moan of Adam’s name. He frowned. “Next time lock the damn door. I don’t want to see that.”

“We all do it.” Greg said with a smirk. “I know for a fact you do.”

“Yep, sure do. Except I call out Tommy’s name.” Adam shot back and slammed out of the room. His anger was growing at his feeling of being trapped and the lack of communication with Tommy. He was a lit fuse on some dynamite. He knew Greg was waiting on the snap wanting to either use it as fodder for the tabloids or to use that to tap into Adam’s passion. Greg didn’t seem to understand at all that the mere sight of him turned Adam off so completely, there was no way to tap Adam’s passion. He could maybe think about Tommy and get the job done but that felt like a violation of his and Tommy’s love so he couldn’t do it. Besides, every one seemed to think Adam was this big sex god or something but he could abstain. He knew he could do this.

Tommy spent the next few days making plans to visit Lisa. When the day arrived, he got to her house. No makeup and understated clothes. Definitely not the usual Tommy flair. Lisa looked at him curiously as she ushered him in. He took his seat at the table. “Whats going on, TJ?” She asked worriedly. “You don’t look so good.”

He smiled at his beloved sister. “I’m ok sis. I just need to talk to you about some stuff. It’s harder than I thought it would be though.” He paused and Lisa let him collect his thoughts. She reached out and took his hand.

“Whatever it is little brother, we can fix it together.” She said softly.

“Thanks Sis. Ok here goes.” Tommy started to pour out the whole story to Lisa. She knew some of it and was shocked at other parts. She had always suspected there was more to his and Adam’s friendship but when nothing manifested she took him at his word. She was honestly surprised at his devotion to Adam for all these years. Tommy had watched Adam with other men and stayed quiet, just wanting whatever made Adam happy. She gave him a warm loving smile. Her quiet, shy and introverted brother. Of course he had stayed quiet. He never liked being the center of attention. When he discussed the previous year she cried.

Lisa felt swamped by guilt. She had been so lost in her own grief for their mother that she hadn’t noticed there was more going on with Tommy. She started to cry. “How did I not see? You were hurting so much and I didn’t see it. Tommy.” She cried hard and threw herself into her brother's arms. “I’m so sorry little brother.” 

Tommy just smiled and rubbed her back. “It ok Lisa. Really. I’m ok. Adam brought me back from the edge.”

“I should….should….I should smack him for putting you through that.” She said angrily and looked at Tommy in confusion when he laughed.

“Lis, thank you for going all big sis there but there is more to the story.” He continued telling her and caught her up completely on everything. Tommy Joe was actually exhausted when he got it all out but he felt like a last barrier/burden had fallen away and he felt more free than he had in a very long time. She sat back when he finished and huffed out a breath.

“Damn. Tommy thats so much to take in. So now you have to pretty much come out publicly. Are you sure you are ok with that? You know I don’t care but I mean Adam is the first guy you have ever liked. That is a lot of publicity and baggage for the first guy.” She had wanted to say crush and Tommy Joe knew it. His eyes narrowed.

“Sis. He isn’t the first guy or some crush. He is THE one. It isn’t so much that I’m gay as it is that he is the one for me. We belong together. We always have. You must have seen it.”

“Of course I did, TJ.” She said with chagrin. “I didn’t mean to make it seem like I doubted your feelings. You are just so private and for you to be with him means a lot of attention on you.”

“I know. It terrifies the hell out of me, to be honest. But he is worth it, Lisa. He makes me so happy. I’m in love with him, Sis.” He said this last sentence softly. “I know you are thinking but what happens when they split up or fight but Sis, he is IT for me. This is for life. He is the only person I am ever going to want like this. I would do far more for him. I would do anything for him. I would go through anything if he was at the end of it. There will never be anyone else for me. Can you understand that?” Lisa fell against him hugging him tightly.

“I understand. It just scares me. Adam is a great guy but people around him always seem to want to hurt you.”

“We will work through those things together. He is everything to me.”

Lisa wiped her tears and smiled. “Then of course you have my support TJ. I just want you to be happy.”

Tommy grinned at her. “I am happy. How could I not be when HE loves me?”   
“So what are you guys going to do about Greg?” She asked.

“I don’t know.” Tommy admitted.

“If you really don’t care about coming out, you can always preemptively come out which takes away his blackmail. I mean he could still release the video but if you have already come out…” Tommy looked at his sister in shock. 

“Lis, you are a fucking genius. I could totally do that!” He jumped to his feet and pulled his sister into his arms, spinning her around and laughing before pulling out his phone and making plans.

Oblivious to what was happening on the other side of the world, Adam got out of the limo at the venue and pasted a smile to his face as he waved at the fans. He signed a few autographs and tried to ignore Greg plastering himself to Adam. He didn’t miss Greg grinding his hard on into Adam every chance he got. Adam tried to move away as unobtrusively as possible. 

“You are amazing!” One of his male fans told Adam.

“He’s taken.” Greg snapped. Adam immediately turned and glared at Greg. 

“He is a fan and without my fans I would be nobody so out of respect for me, BABY,” he said the affectionate term sarcastically, “don’t speak to my fans that way.” He turned back to the fan who had reeled back in shock. “I’m so sorry. We are a little possessive today I guess.” He smiled at the guy who fearfully handed him a CD to sign. “What’s your name?”

“Tim.” The guy said softly and looking at Greg nervously.

“Tim thank you so much for everything you do for me. I would be nothing without my fans and I know it.” Adam gave him a warm smile and Tim relaxed. 

“How’s Tommy, have you talked to him?” Tim asked, having no idea the shit storm he was opening. 

“No he hasn’t spoken to the glitterbitch.” Greg snapped. Tim’s eyes grew hard and it was pretty obvious he didn’t like that answer and Adam fought to keep the laugh in when this little guy took a deep breath.

“Thats too bad. Adam always seems happier around Tommy.” Tim spat back before turning back to Adam. “Thank you for always being amazing with your fans.” 

Adam turned his laughter into a cough. “Well, tell you what, Tommy is on twitter a lot. You should tweet at him and tell him what you just said. He’d get a kick out of it.” Adam said with a wink. He wanted to add in tell him I miss him but he figured that would push Greg a bit far. “Thank you, Tim. Meeting you has made my day!” Adam told him sincerely. He turned and looked coldly at Greg. “I supposed I have to go now.” He said before turning back. “Tag me in that tweet if you send it.” He grinned. And with that he turned and moved toward the venue. Greg tried to put an arm around him but Adam seemed to know and danced out of the way. It wasn’t lost on Tim.

@tommyjoeratliff just met @adamlambert and he is so awesome! Asked about you and said how happy he always seems around you. He said I should tweet that at you. :) :) Such a big fan of you both!!

Within minutes Adam was grinning as he looked at the replies to the tweet. Including one from Tommy.

@timrealz12 @adamlambert aww thats so cool. Thanks! He makes me happy too. I miss him so much but I’ll see him soon I’m sure. Thanks for being an awesome fan! I know Adam adores his fans. He has always been the real deal. 

“That wasn’t smart, lover.” Greg said angrily and snatched Adam’s phone away.

Adam snatched it back. “Go fuck yourself. There aren’t any paparazzi around so I don’t have to play your sick game right now. I played your fucked up little power trip. I haven’t talked to Tommy. You know; the love of my life, my soul mate, my everything.” He gave an evil smile at the reminder that Tommy had his heart.

“Shut up about him. Its high time you remember why you were with me.” Greg snapped and angrily dropped to his knees in front of Adam and grabbed for Adam’s pants. Adam immediately sidestepped. 

“Not gonna happen. asshole.” He said. “I would rather have my dick fall off than have you touch it ever again.” He moved out of the room and slammed and locked the door. He was breathing heavy. “Tommy.” He moaned. “I miss you baby. God I want to hear your voice.” He said to himself.

Tommy meanwhile wrote a long post and set it to delay sending to his twitter feed. He picked up his ticket at the airport and kissed his sister goodbye. “Good luck.” She told him. “Now go get your man.” He stepped onto the plane, nervous, he hated flying but so happy to get this over with. He was in the air when his post went out and immediately went viral. His fans really were the best ever. 

“Adam darling,” his mother's voice said in her voicemail, “you may want to take a good look at Twitter today. Anyway, Love you sweetheart.” 

Adam pulled up his twitter and couldn’t believe he had missed the thousands of messages and he had to scroll forever before he found what he was looking for. The source as it were. A tweet from Tommy. His eyes grew wider as he read the post and then he read it again and again. Had Tommy really done this?? For him? He had seriously underestimated Tommy. So had Greg. He couldn’t do what he needed to from his phone but he could sneak out and make arrangements with Roger and Brian. He didn’t know when it was going to go down but he could be somewhat ready when it did.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's tweet and an important interview.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I might have made some of you mad with that cliff hanger huh? Sorry about that. Here you go, Chapter 19. I didn't make you wait long. :) 
> 
> Standard disclaimers. Don't know em, not true, don't steal, I'm broke and speak up if you like.

Adam set things up with Brian and Roger and they got the word out. Security was alerted and ready. Adam surfed through twitter and read all the comments. He was so incredibly proud of Tommy and humbled that such an amazing man loved him. He went back and looked again at the tweet.

-A statement for all my fans. I love you all so much and I hope my reasons for this become clear very soon.-

Then he clicked the link to read the longer statement.

-Hey everyone. There are some important things I need to say. I have been threatened and so have people I love. Because of a selfish person with an ugly heart; someone that I love very much has been hurt. I have the ability to end that hurt by being honest. So I have decided to do that. I am gay. Well, actually not gay, but I AM head over heels in love with a man. I have been for a long time. He has tried to protect me and in doing so has allowed himself to be forced into a loveless relationship with an attention seeker. He did this so the man wouldn’t out me. I love him too much to allow him to do this. So here you are. I am, for all intents and purposes gay. If I can, and if I am lucky enough; I will spend the rest of my life loving this man and being loved by him. Now excuse me while I go get my man.

Adam couldn’t stop reading the statement over and over again. His heart swelled so much with love. He went to the bathroom and prepared his appearance for what was coming. He met up with Greg, Brian and Roger for the afternoon interview. He gave a questioning look to the older men and Brian nodded and Roger gave a thumbs up. He finally allowed Greg to take his hand when they were out in front of the hotel. He basically ignored Greg and waved to the fans. 

“ADAM!!! What do you think about what Tommy tweeted?” He heard people yelling. He ignored it for the moment and they got into the car. “Adam was he talking about you?” More yells.

“What did he tweet?” Greg asked angrily. “What did that little bitch tweet?” 

“I don’t know.” Adam snapped. “You keep me on a pretty tight leash, honey.” Adam jerked his hand back. Thankfully, Greg didn’t have the time to look for the answer. Their phones were confiscated as they arrived, for production sake wink wink. Then they were whisked into the green room to prepare. Brian went out to take a phone call since their cells somehow disrupted the mics and cameras. When he came back in, he nodded to Adam. Thank god this host and crew of this morning show had been helpful and amenable to the situation and taking their phones so that Greg couldn’t look.

They went out and Greg was seated in the front row so he could smile simperingly at the camera and act totally in love. Adam looked around the room and waved when he came out. He took a deep breath. This was it. His life was going to change now. The interview started normally with them answering their typical questions. Then the interviewer said they had a special treat after the break. They broke to commercial and Adam went to the bathroom. When he emerged two minutes later he looked much calmer and quite a bit more happy. 

He took his seat and the program restarted. “Well, I promised you all a surprise so here it is. You all noticed that we put an extra chair up here. Adam has a very special guest here today.”

“Yes I do.” Adam said with a smile. He chanced a glance over at Greg who actually preened. “Being Adam Lambert has some serious perks don't get me wrong but it does have a downside. I have been so fortunate in most of my relationships but I have fallen head over heels in love and my fame has kept us somewhat apart. He has finally come out to join my tour and I could not be more thrilled.” Adam said smiling at Greg who smirked back.

“Well with that kind of introduction we have to meet him.” The interviewer said and turned to the audience. “are you all ready to meet the love of Adam’s life?” the crowd cheered loudly. “very well.” the interviewer said with a laugh. “it appears they are very ready. So come on out Tommy!”

Adam watched Greg carefully and saw the idiot actually start to get up thinking he was getting his break into the industry and then the name registered. His eyes shot to Adam’s and grew stormy. Adam just smiled at him triumphantly and then turned to greet Tommy who took his seat next to Adam. Adam immediately took Tommy Joe’s hand and caressed it gently. 

“So I know the folks here are a little confused since Adam came with one man and is up here professing his love for another. What gives, Adam?” The man left it open perfectly for Adam to step in.

“I’m really glad to have an opportunity to explain. Well, some of the story can't be said here and now but let's just say I have been used for a ticket to fame before but never so blatantly as I did this time. I casually dated a man who was my PA for the last year. He was sabotaging my relationships with others though I didn't know it at the time. Tommy has had the worst year of his life and that was the main relationship that the PA, Greg, the man in the audience, sabotaged. He didn't like me even being friends with Tommy.”

Tommy smiled at Adam. “We haven't been just friends for a long time babyboy. We have had a complicated and at times painful friendship but there has always been love there. It just took us way too long to see it.”

Adam grinned at him and anyone watching would have had to be a blind person not to see the love shining in his eyes. The same was true for Tommy. “That's very true glitterbaby.” Adam said happily.

“Before we get more of this story let's take a look at what happened during our break.” The interviewer said and video flashed up on the screen showing Adam leaving the stage moments before and as soon as he was out of view of the audience, he ran back to a room and flung open the door. Tommy waited inside and turned as soon as the door opened and threw himself into Adam’s arms. The mic that Adam was wearing captured the words but didn’t broadcast them into the studio, they were just recorded.

“I can’t believe you are doing this, baby. Are you sure?”

“Adam, I would do anything for you. I won’t let him control you and use me to do it. Even if you decided I wasn’t what you wanted, I still would do this to give you back your freedom.”  
Adam groaned and grabbed Tommy, pulling him in for a searing kiss. “I don’t deserve you, baby. But I will spend every moment of every day making sure you know how much I love you.”

Tommy’s smile could have competed with the sun. “I know, babyboy. As I will for you. I know what I’m doing and I’m ready for this. Are YOU sure this is ok?”

“I would happily profess my love for you to the world. This is a dream come true. Have you talked to Lisa?” He asked worriedly.

“Yeah, she told me to go get my man.” 

“30 seconds, Adam.” the stage hand told him. 

“See you in a minute my love.” Tommy said and gave Adam a quick kiss and pushed him out the door.

The screen went dark and the lights focused back on the stage. Tommy and Adam were just looking at each other and there were several awwws heard around the room. The interviewer looked to Tommy. “Well Tommy Joe, I guess we all know the man you were tweeting about now. Can you tell us a bit more about what was going on?”

“Sure.” Tommy said in a nervous voice. “I fell in love with Adam years ago but I kept denying the truth to myself and to everyone else as well. Once I did realize it, he was in relationships and it never seemed the right time to tell him plus I had never been attracted to a guy before and I still wasn’t other than Adam. With him it isn’t so much that I am in love with a man as that I am in love with Adam, my best friend. He has been my whole world since we met. To know that Greg,” his eyes met those eyes in the audience and glittered with anger. “Was using me to hurt Adam by threatening to out me unless Adam publicly dated him just ripped me apart. My fears about coming out couldn’t stop me taking away this ammunition against Adam.”

“So if I am understanding this correctly. Your PA, Greg…” He looked out and the spotlight shined on Greg and the murderous look on his face. “He was pretty much blackmailing Adam for a public relationship and threatening to out Tommy if that didn’t happen. Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Adam said. “He had cameras installed all over my house without my knowledge and he had some...well….sensitive video of Tommy and myself that he threatened to release. I couldn’t out Tommy like that just when we were finally finding our way to each other after all these years.”

“Wow! Thats an amazing ride it sounds like and that video would be quite a violation. Brian, Roger, I don’t mean to ignore the two of you. Legends on my stage! Do you have anything you want to add?”

“We support Adam fully in whatever relationship he deems is right for him.” Roger said. “We’ve know Tommy for years and are thrilled they have found their way to each other.”

“We have spent the last year watching Adam become angry and hurt just growing as time went on. We didn’t know at that time what Greg was doing to separate Adam from those he cares about. However for the last month it has been a different Adam. He found his happiness. When Greg contacted him and threatened to release the video, he spoke to us asking for advice. We fully support Adam in any relationship he deems worthwhile.” Brian added and Adam and Tommy smiled at the older men. “Besides, we are all here for the music and a happy Adam is much more focused on the music. Tommy seems to do that for him.”

“Well there you have it folks. An amazing story that we look forward to watching unfold. I wish you both the best.” The interviewer said and closed out the show. 

Adam and Tommy were immediately surrounded by security and taken out to the cars and whisked to the hotel. While they had been gone, Adam’s belongings had been brought to a different suite. As soon as the door closed behind them, Adam dropped his coat and stepped up to Tommy. He cradled the blonde's face in his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you so much Tommy. You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“Fuck you, Lambert.” Tommy said with a grin. “Yes I did.” He took a step back and Adam looked at him in confusion and a bit of hurt until he saw what Tommy was doing. Tommy kicked off his creepers. He reached a hand behind him and grasped the back of his shirt and pulled it off and backed a couple of steps to the bed. “It's been too long since I have been in your arms, rockstar. Can the rest of the convo wait a bit?” His hands went to his belt and Adam finally unfroze and made a noise like he had been punched in the stomach. Two long strides had him in front of Tommy before he could even undo the belt. 

Adam’s lips captured Tommy Joe’s while his fingers gently undid the belt. He pulled away long enough to pull off his clothes too and then removed Tommy’s pants before gently lowering the smaller man onto the bed. The spent time exploring each others bodies with hands and mouths. Light caresses bled away to firmer grips and tender kisses became passionate ones. 

Tommy lay below Adam, gazing up at him with lust blown eyes. “Adam, please. I need you.” He moaned and Adam gave an evil little smirk. His kitten looked so perfect like this. His lips swollen and red from kissing. Marks made by Adams teeth and mouth all over Tommy’s neck and chest. His kitten practically mewling with need and squirming trying to get just a bit more friction. Cock hard and leaking between them while Adams was already sheathed and lubed and had been for awhile. He loved to drive his kitty into a frenzy of need.

Adam thrust in with no warning and Tommy made a strangled sound in his throat and arched again him, driving Adam deeper. “Is this what you wanted, kitty?” He asked with a grin. He heard that strangled moan Tommy gave when he was close to the edge. Adam reached a hand between them and stroked Tommy in the same rhythm his hips moved. Tommy just moved with him in time; body constantly arching into Adam, perfectly in sync. They gasped out their release together, each calling the other’s name. Adam gathered Tommy against him and held him tenderly. 

“I love you so much Tommy Joe. It's always been you.”

Tommy just smiled at him and touched Adam's cheek. “It's always been you, babyboy. You have me for as long as you want me. I’m yours. Mind, heart, body and soul. I’m all yours. Forever.”

“What are we going to do about Greg?” Adam asked softly. “You know he will release that video anyway.”

“I know.” Tommy said. “I’ll get a copy cause that will be our main porn and that means when I am not with you, I still get to hear that little noise you make when I do this.” He licked Adam’s nipple and Adam let out a little ghost of a sound somewhere between a moan and a giggle. He grinned and winked. “Seriously though, we will deal with it. Adam, I can handle anything as long as I have you.”

While all of this was going on Greg had to find his own ride back to the hotel and his key card didn’t work on the door, he went to the front desk and with smug looks they pointed to his belongings. His expression livid, Greg looked for an internet cafe nearby. He released the video with little fanfare to some paparazzi friends. They may have won this round but this video would make Adam look bad and if that was all he could do at the moment he would take it. It was time though to try something else. He needed to get his hands on something a lot harder. That might have to wait until they were back in the states though. He gave it some more thought and made a plan.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joint statements, video release and pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know them, this is all make-believe hence why it is called fiction. I make no money from this and I am beyond broke so please don't sue me. I am also very possessive of my writing so please don't steal it. If you like what I write, please let me know. If you want to be alerted to updates, you can email eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and request which stories you would like to be alerted for and I will let you know every time I update.
> 
> I AM SO SORRY. Know that in advance and please don't kill me. This is where the story took me and unfortunately it isn't possible at this point to not have a cliff hanger.
> 
> Here you go. Chapter 20. Please don't kill me.

The video hit the internet the next morning and Adam spent the morning doing damage control. It was thankfully much calmer than it could have been if Tommy had not come out so publicly the day before and on Twitter the day before that. The videos did contain some intimate videos of Adam and Greg that were not favorable. They were spliced together from a variety of other videos and times though it was difficult to tell that without really looking. It showed Adam being very aggressive and at times spanking Greg. It appeared, without the backstory, that Adam was an abusive boyfriend. 

Adam did an interview with Tommy by his side that very day to discuss the video and the new “allegations” against him. It was not as if Adam had ever hid his dominate side and in fact had numerous music videos, interviews and performances showing that he put that side of himself out front and center. Some people had even gone back and pulled up the video from he and Sauli fighting in public when he was arrested. Sauli called into the show to back up Adam.

The three of them made it very clear that while yes, Adam was a dom and it was a side of his personality, he was never physically abusive at all and all of his sexual partners were well aware in advance and were given their own choice in the matter. There were safe words used and everyone knew their limits. Adam was cursing the day he ever met Greg. He was however enormously grateful for Tommy’s steadfast support. The blond never even flinched. He was forthright and honest and his dialogue regarding Adam really cemented the support. 

Adam was devastated that some of his fans immediately attacked Tommy calling him an attention seeker. He was so frustrated, he had thought this stupidity was over. That these fans would preach about how Adam deserved to have whatever he wanted and then talk about how shallow Tommy was and how Adam was better off without him just enraged him. He wanted to respond individually and call out his so called fans on their hypocrisy but Tommy wouldn’t let him. In the end he and Tommy put out a statement together.

\--We want to address the public and our fans regarding the recent news. Yes we are a couple. We are very much in love. I know some of you are angry about this. We want to be clear. We have been in love for a long time and we are together. Period. We choose each other for our future happiness. If you cannot get on board and support our happiness, you are not our fans or friends. This decision is one that has been made together. Please know that just because you think you know the whole story, you rarely do. We want to thank those fans who are being supportive, you are the reason we do what we do and you are the reason we can love our jobs. We want it fully aware that this is what we BOTH want for our future. Support us or show yourselves out of our fandom.--

The statement appeared to be fairly well received and Adam’s fans quieted some. While there were some fans who would never like or accept Tommy in Adam’s life; the majority stopped tagging them in hateful comments. Adam was sure things were still being said but it couldn’t hurt Tommy if he couldn’t see it so Adam was appeased. The fans who were supportive blew them both away with their generosity and good wishes. They both found themselves happier than they had been in years and that was in no small measure because they had found their soul mate and been accepted as such. 

The time came for Tommy to return home. He wasn’t looking forward to leaving Adam but he had his own life to pick up. He lay in the bed with Adam in a hotel room in Dublin getting in as much kissing and cuddling as was possible before his afternoon flight. “Are you sure you have to leave, baby?” Adam asked. “I’ve just gotten used to waking up with you. I don’t want to lose that already.”

Tommy grinned. “Admit it rockstar. I’ve got you dickwhipped.” He joked.

Adam laughed and rolled onto Tommy. “Well you are my kitty so maybe I somehow became pussy whipped after all.” He gave an evil grin and kissed Tommy’s chin. Tommy just snorted in laughter. “Baby, I think you should move in with me.” Adam suggested in all seriousness. Tommy froze.

“Are you serious, babyboy? Aren’t you afraid it's too soon for that?”

“Kitty, I’ve wanted you in my house and bed since that first day I met you. I don’t want us to be apart anymore and if I can’t have you on tour with me all the time at least I can have you in my bed when we talk.”

Tommy touched Adam’s face gently and leaned up to kiss his nose. “Babyboy, we will talk about it and decide together but that decision needs to be made when you are off tour. You know that your OCD and my messiness don’t always work well together. It needs to be something we work up to. Can you accept that?”

“Can you at least skype me a couple times from my bed?” Adam asked pitifully. “I need the picture of you there.”

Tommy laughed again. “I promise.” He took a deep breath. “Listen, Adam, I know part of you is worried I am going to change my mind or decide this is too hard or whatever. If this trying to get me to move in is somehow related to that I get it. You have been burned by straight boys in the past but babyboy, you are it for me. You are all I want and all I see. That isn’t going to change. I’m not going anywhere.” Adam put his head down on Tommy’s chest and his shoulders began to shake. 

Tommy just wrapped his arms around Adam and let him cry out all his fears. It wasn’t often that the big man lost his composure but Tommy had felt it coming for awhile. He gently rubbed Adam’s back and murmured his love over and over until Adam calmed. “Feel better baby?” He asked tenderly. Adam sat up a bit and Tommy mirrored his position.

“I’m sorry about that.” Adam said softly. “I’ve just been so over the moon for you for so long and I worry so much that you will decide I am not worth it or you can’t handle the spotlight or whatever. I don’t doubt your love, I am just so scared to lose you now that I finally have everything I have ever wanted.”

“I get it babyboy, I really do. I’m scared too. I’m scared you will decide I have too many issues or I am too much of a homebody or you need someone on the road with you. We both have fears we just need to be honest with each other and work through them together. Ok?” Adam nodded with a soft smile. 

“When did you get to be Joe calm cool and collected?”

“When I started dating you.” Tommy grinned. 

“Suck up.” Adam teased.

“Control freak.” Tommy grinned back.

They passed the afternoon away together and when it was time for Tommy to leave Adam held him tightly at the door. “Call me when you get home, baby. I miss you already.”

“I miss you too. I will call you and as promised, I will spend this weekend at your place. Skype date Saturday, right?” Tommy grinned. 

“You know it.” Adam responded. He kissed Tommy one last time and Tommy slipped out of his grasp and with that little impish grin Tommy Joe Ratliff caught the elevator and left Adam's side. Both of them would wish he had just stayed where he was safe and protected.

Tommy resumed his life. A bit more melancholy and a lot more attention focused on him but all the same, Tommy was happy with his decision. Daily phone calls with Adam helped to chase the loneliness away and he spent a lot of time with friends and family. He picked back up his lessons with enthusiasm as it gave him something to do. After almost a week apart, Tommy was actually looking forward to staying at Adam’s for the weekend. 

He didn’t know that he was ready to move into Adam’s place because he needed to have his own space too. He was worried if he moved in with Adam he would lose his ability to pull away from the world when he needed to. His apartment was his little hidey hole when he needed to disappear and decompress for awhile. He was afraid to lose that. He entered Adam’s house and took a deep breath. It smelled like Adam. He smiled. He had a date with his boyfriends awesome shower, then his bed for a nap and a late night phone date with Adam. The perfect end to the week and way to start the weekend. And then tomorrow, a skype date. Fuck yeah.

Tommy entered the kitchen to get a bottle of water. He bent over the fridge and grabbed a bottle before a blinding pain hit the back of his head and his forehead slammed the fridge door on the way down. Tommy was knocked out before he even hit the ground. He had no way of knowing that he hadn’t been alone at Adam’s and neither he nor Adam had even thought about Greg still having keys and codes to Adam’s house. 

Greg stood over Tommy’s body with the gun he had just slammed into the back of Tommy’s head. “Not such a tough guy now, are you glitter bitch?” He spat. He took his time, knowing he wouldn’t be seen. He gathered Tommy up and threw him in the trunk of his car. It was long past time the glitterbitch went away. He wanted to shoot him as soon as Tommy entered but that was too quick Greg wanted him to suffer first and Adam... Adam was going to regret this for the rest of his life. 

Tommy woke up with his head pounding. He looked around but the room was dark with boarded up windows and there was heavy rock music playing loudly somewhere close by. It stank and it really wasn’t helping his head which felt like it was going to burst right out of his skull. He licked his dry lips, mouth feeling like cotton balls had been in it all night. “Where the fuck am I?” He asked and went to stretch but couldn’t move. He looked around a little more and realized he was tied to a chair in a room. There was a dirty twin size mattress on the floor a couple feet away. It was either really dark in the room or it was night time. His hands were tied behind his back with something hard and prickly but he couldn’t see what it was. His ankles were tied to the legs of the chair and they were tied with some rope so he assumed his hands were as well. “What the fuck?” He exclaimed and tugged on the ropes.

“Shut up Glitterbitch. I’m so glad you are finally awake so we can play.” A voice said in the darkness. 

Tommy recognized that voice and froze. “Greg? What the fuck? Seriously? You need to be fucking checked if you are behind this shit.” He said angrily and pulled harder on the ropes.

“I don’t think so bitch, and you can pull as hard as you want. I am a master at knots. You tried to take what was mine so I decided to remove you from the equation. But I’m going to have some fun with you first. I really don’t know what about you has him so willing to give you everything but I have time and the patience to figure it out.” Greg said and stepped into the light. When Tommy met his eyes he flinched. Sanity had left this place and had left only room for crazy. Greg was completely and totally insane and you could see it in his eyes.

“Get the fuck over it. You lost. Be a man.” Tommy responded trying to figure out where he was and how he was going to get loose. 

“I would be fucking respectful if I were you.” Greg spat back and moved the gun so light flashed on it, drawing Tommy’s eyes. Tommy felt all his blood drain. 

“This isn’t going to win you, Adam.” Tommy said softly.

“Nothing is apparently able to compete with you and your stupid bond. I don’t need to compete with you. I just want you gone. You should have stayed out of my relationship.”

“I never came between you and Adam. You did. He saw you for what you are. That isn’t my fault. It’s yours.” Tommy said.

“Shut the fuck up!” Greg yelled and before Tommy saw it and could prepare, Greg backhanded him across the face with the pistol. Tommy was knocked unconscious again. “Great. Now I have to wait for you to wake up again. You are going to pay for that too.” He promised.

Adam waited for Tommy to call but when he didn’t, Adam called him. His phone was off. Tommy was probably sleeping and Adam knew he didn’t get nearly enough so he didn’t want to bother him but he had an uneasy feeling. He couldn’t place what it was but something inside was telling him something was wrong. He shrugged it off. It was probably nothing and he needed to focus on the show. He would skype with Tommy the next day and everything would be fine. He took several deep breaths and went to go get ready for sound check.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy is having to deal with things that are not fun and quite painful. Isaac his cop friend and Adam are frantically trying to find out where Tommy could be and in the process are finding that things about Greg are not quite as they appear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know or own any of the characters mentioned in this story with the exception of Greg who is of my own creation. Because this is a work of fiction, any similarity with reality is completely coincidence as this all came from my head. If you like what I write please let me know. If you would like to be alerted to updates, you can email eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and let me know which story and I will let you know each time I update.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and yes the last chapter was a cliff hanger, fair warning this one isn't much better. 
> 
> Now on to chapter 21...

Tommy came to and moaned pitifully at his pounding head. His skin on his head and face itched with some dried liquid and the taste of blood in his mouth let him know what that liquid was. He was in the same chair as before and still bound to it but the chair, and Tommy, was on its side now. Tommy’s ribs ached and he figured he had either been kicked or punched to knock him down. He was laying on his right arm which had no feeling as a result. He spat the blood from his mouth. 

“Oh good. The bitch is back with us.” Greg said.

“If you think I'm such a bitch, untie me and let's make this a fair fight.” Tommy challenged. 

“Not likely.” Greg smirked. “why make it a fair fight when I can just kill you and be done with it.” He walked a bit closer. “Besides, I owe you some pain so I'm going to take my time.” He fisted Tommy's hair and used it and a hand on the side to pull the chair and Tommy upright. Tommy winced as a chunk of his hair was ripped out by the root.

“What is it about you that has Adam so tangled around you? I don't see it.” He looked Tommy over. “You aren't attractive, you are obnoxious and never know your place. You can't be that good in bed.” He paused thinking and Tommy felt his body shrink back at the thoughts Greg was planting. “perhaps I'll take a taste of that but not yet.” He cocked an eyebrow looking at Tommy Joe. “Why don't you beg for your life? That will be fun.” He suggested. “I can record it and play it for Adam so he knows finally just how pathetic you are.”

“Go Fuck yourself asshole.” Tommy said. “if I ever get loose, I will fucking kill you.”

Greg actually laughed. A disturbing high pitched crazy laugh but a laugh. “That is never going to happen, bitch. You are spending the rest of your short time on earth right here.”

Adam performed his show that night and tried to give it his all. He faked it pretty well but he was a little off. Something just wasn't right and he couldn't place what. He knew he was being stupid. Tommy was fine. His boyfriend wasn't required to check in and he wasn't that much of a control freak. He called Tommy a couple times but the phone went straight to voicemail each time. The time came and went for their Skype date and Tommy neither called nor answered. Adam had now called so much, Tommy's voice mail was full. He knew he was being silly but he had to be sure. He called Isaac.

“Hey, have you heard from Tommy?” He asked bluntly the second Isaac answered. 

Isaac laughed. “Yeah I was with him yesterday for lunch and then he was headed to your house. Fuck, you two have it bad.” He joked.

“He has missed two of our dates, one on phone and one on Skype and his phone is off and voicemail is full…” he hesitated. “I know this sounds stupid but I have a bad feeling. Can you check on him?”

Isaac lost his joking manner at once. “Of course boss man. He’s probably just doing his Tommy the Turtle thing and hiding away though.” 

“Just the same. Please. If he needs alone time that's fine. I just need to know he is ok and it isn't like him to ignore me. The only time he ever has was when Greg…” They both froze suddenly understanding the nature of the fear.

“I'm on my way.” Isaac answered. “Give me ten minutes to your place and I'll call you back.” He grabbed his keys and hung up the phone.

Adam kept dialing Tommy over and over as he paced his hotel room. Tommy never picked up. Worry was churning at Adam’s stomach. The longest 20 minutes of his life passed when Isaac finally called back. His somber voice instantly sent Adam into full panic.

“His car is here, Adam so I rang the bell a lot but no answer. I looked in the Windows and the fridge was open but no one was there so I broke the window on the backdoor. Sorry about that…”

“I don't give a shit, I'll have it replaced. Please tell me you found Tommy…” 

“No. He wasn't here and Adam….there was blood on the kitchen floor.”

“Fuck!” Adam moaned in fear. “I knew something was wrong. What the hell can we do? I’m in fucking Europe. Call the cops. Fuck! It has to be Greg.”

“I started investigating Greg. I’m going to see what I can dig up. I promise we will find him, Adam.”

“Call me the minute you have something. I’m going to call Roger and Brian and see about getting home.” 

Isaac agreed and they disconnected. He immediately called his cop friend and they made arrangements to meet in half an hour. When Isaac showed up at the cafe he brought everything he had on Greg. 

They worked together silently for a couple hours and then Isaac made the destiny changing call. “Hey, I’m sorry to call out of the blue like this but we have a little situation that I think you can help with. I need to know about a former PA of yours Greg Morris.” Isaac listened for awhile and kept growing paler before finally thanking them and hanging up. Tony the cop just looked at him and waited. 

“Fuck!” Isaac exclaimed still processing what he had heard. “So Greg was the best PA they could have asked for but get this, he is out of the business. It seems some guy stalked and harassed him for years before kidnapping and almost killing him. Greg got away but is completely reclusive now and had to go on disability for the mental and physical toll his kidnapper left.” Isaac said, terrified for Tommy.

“An alias. I should have thought of that!” Tony said and quickly began typing. “Do you know the correct name?” 

“Trent Gerald.” Isaac said on a flat tone. “We have to work quick and we have to find Tommy.”

“Greg, why are you doing this?” Tommy ask.

“Because you took him from me.” Greg spat back.

“People break up and get their hearts broken all the time without doing this.” Tommy said reasonably. He was getting quite scared by this level of crazy.

“I was perfect for him. I made myself into exactly what he wanted and needed. I catered to his every whim and still he picks you. Why? It makes no sense. He had everything with me and I would have done anything for him. The first time I met him, he shook my hand and I knew he felt it too. That pull. He needed someone to dominate, I let him dominate me. He needed someone who knew music, I studied. He needed someone to listen, I was there. He needed someone to anticipate his needs, I became his PA to do that. I gave him everything!” Greg was yelling by this point and Tommy had to fight to not flinch. “Still he picks you. Straight boy, smart ass selfish little you.”

“Greg…”

“Alec.” Greg spat. “My chances with Adam are destroyed because of you so no sense using that name anymore. 

“Alec?” Tommy asked in confusion and then he realized. “Oh.”

“Yes, now you start to see how hard I have worked to get Adam and how much you have stolen from me. You will pay for all of it.” He pulled a knife out and tapped the end thoughtfully. “Where to start?” He reached a hand out and jerked Tommy’s shirt hard at the collar ripping the shirt open and baring Tommy’s pale chest. “So unappealing. Its like you have never gone out in daylight. Why does Adam like this when he is so tanned and healthy looking.

“Apparently Adam doesn’t find it unappealing since he tries to touch me as often as possible.” Tommy snapped back without thinking. 

“I think its time to shut your mouth.” Greg/Alec said. He walked over to a small table and grabbed a roll of duct tape. He tore a piece off. Tommy knew what he was going to do and tried to jerk his head away but wasn’t successful and the tape was still slapped over his mouth. Tommy immediately began working his tongue against it trying to loosen it from around his mouth enough to get air. He didn’t put it past this lunatic to toy with him by pinching his nose. Then suddenly he couldn’t think of anything but pain as his belly was sliced open in one long cut and blood began pouring out. Tommy tried to scream but with the tape there, he couldn’t. 

“It’s a shame you couldn’t shut your bitchy mouth. I wanted to hear you scream and beg.” Greg/Alec smirked. Tommy glared at him, glad he couldn’t give him that satisfaction. “Eventually I will figure out what drew him to you, if I have to take you apart piece by piece to do it.” Greg gave an insane laugh and leaned forward and bit Tommy’s shoulder hard and pulled away, ripping off a chunk of Tommys shoulder. His eyes rolled up and mercifully Tommy passed out again.

Adam spent the next several hours making arrangements. Several of the big bosses of this tour didn’t want to let him leave but Adam didn’t care what they said he was going. They were about at the point of putting guards on him to force him to stay when Brian and Roger stepped in and backed Adam up. Suddenly it was easier to arrange for shows to be rescheduled. Adam felt like he was going crazy trying to deal with business while Tommy was in danger somewhere and being hurt. Finally hours later, he had a working plan and a plane to catch. On the way to the airport, he got a call from Isaac.

“His name isn’t Greg. Greg Morris was a PA for Keisha a few years ago. He was kidnapped and beaten by the man who was his boyfriend. His boyfriend, Trent Gerald, was the guilty one but he disappeared. He traumatized Greg so much that Greg is agoraphobic now and is terrified of everyone. We found pictures of you meeting him at the Divas thing.. I’m sending it to you now.”

Adam waited impatiently and when his phone beeped he opened the attachment and stared at the phone. The memory of that day returned. Keisha and he had talked for a few minutes and her PA stood behind her at the ready. He remembered her bragging on her PA and so when a man he had met that night applied to be his PA almost two years later, he hired him immediately. However in the picture, Greg, the real Greg was quite obviously not the same man. In the background though...there was the man in question. He was holding the real Greg’s hand but his face was intently staring at Adam laughing about something. That look. It was completely creepy and Adam didn’t know why he had never noticed that in this picture before, he was sure he had seen it. Then he realized he wouldn’t have looked there anyway. He would have looked at Keisha and himself and possibly the real Greg but no farther. The fake Greg looked different. His hair was a much lighter brown with blond highlights and he wore glasses. He also was dressed much more preppy style. The look on his face was what really got to Adam.

“Can you see the look?” Isaac asked softly.

“Yeah. Creepy.”

“I think that was the moment he fixated on you.” Isaac said. “The real Greg agreed to meet me to tell me about the Trent he dated. Tony and I are pretty sure that isn’t his real name either. We are working as fast as we can. You on your way yet?”

“Yeah. It took some doing but I’m coming. Tommy needs me…” He got very quiet. “Isaac please tell me we will find him alive.”

“Fuck I hope so.” Isaac said softly and both men grew quiet.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy tortured, Isaac successful and Adam arrives, but is he in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers I am so so very sorry for the delay at such a crucial point. Last Monday they announced mandatory overtime at work which meant I had no time to write all week. It drove me nuts! Then over the weekend I had family time to make up for what I missed of that during the week. Needless to say the week from hell is officially over and I got off early today just for you and this chapter. I hope it is worth the wait.
> 
> As far as I know (and if its not I'm killing Greg) this is complete fiction. I do not know or own any of the characters except Greg and him I do not claim or remotely want. This is all from my head and writing is my whole world so please do not steal my passion. If you like what I write and/or the way I write it, please let me know. You can subscribe to alerts for updates by emailing eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and letting me know which stories you want to be alerted on.
> 
> Now to the reason you are here...
> 
> Chapter 22

The next fifteen hours went far too slowly for everyone. Isaac and his cop friend spent the time wading through various previous identities desperately looking for the real and original name Greg went by. So far they had been through 7 different identities. It appeared everytime Greg fixated on someone; he stalked and eventually got physical, emotionally and physically breaking down the person he was fixated on before moving on and either assuming the previous person's identity or taking on a new one entirely. It had gone back until Greg was in his late teens. They couldn’t go much further. They were currently on a persona named Charles. Coffee fueled them and they neither stopped to eat or to sleep. Both knew that any rest they took could mean the difference between finding Tommy alive or not. 

Adam caught his flight and hated every second of the hours he spent in the air. It was driving him crazy that not only couldn’t he be there to help the search but he couldn’t even be there in the same place with them. He couldn’t even fucking pace. All he could do was sit here and wait anxiously. He had gotten a drink at first and then realized that wasn’t the best idea. He could sit here and drink the flight away but he wouldn’t be coherent when he arrived in LA so it wasn’t the best idea. He stuck to diet coke for the rest of the flight. He drummed his hands on his thighs and drove the other passengers crazy but he really didn’t care.

\------

For Tommy the time crawled by in a haze of pain. Greg had now had him for two days and Tommy was beginning to fear he would not be found before Greg killed him. He wanted to believe in Adam but he knew the clock was working against him at this point. Greg for his part took pride in inflicting pain and was almost methodical about it. There wasn’t a spot on Tommy’s body that wasn’t hurting. 

Six or so hours before, Greg had offered Tommy some water and desperate to get the bad taste out of his mouth, he had accepted. He gulped the precious liquid down and then had the tape slapped back over his mouth. He had no idea what the purpose of Greg’s sudden humanity until hours later. 

He had used some sort of cane to beat the soles of Tommy’s feet. It hurt but nothing like the rest of the beatings and things he had done so Tommy had actually been relieved. It hurt but nothing he couldn’t handle. Then his full bladder let itself be known. Greg seemed to realize it by his squirming in the chair. “Well come on, I don’t want you pissing yourself here.” Greg had said with a weird smile and had untied Tommy. It took Tommy two steps before he realized the sadistic nature even went this far. His having Tommy go to the bathroom had little if anything to do with compassion, instead the giving him his fill of water and the beating of the feet had been leading up to this moment. 

His feet were blistered and cracked and he was walking barefoot on rough and prickly concrete flooring. He wanted to cry at the pain but still had the tape over his mouth and even if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have given Greg the satisfaction. If he were honest with himself however, he had to swallow the vomit that came up at the pain. When he made his painful slow trip back from the bathroom, he noticed he had left bloody footprints on the floor from the trip. This time Greg shoved him facefirst onto that filthy mattress. Tommy felt his stomach drop. 

“Well I guess now that you can’t run, I don’t need to tie your legs again, just your hands.” He proceeds to do just that. Greg finally, and painfully, ripped the duct tape off his mouth. “It’s no fun when I can’t hear you scream glitterbitch.” he spat. “I think I would rather hear that then the grunts you’ve been giving.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, asshole. Best I could do with tape over my mouth but I’ll be sure to not give you any satisfaction.” Tommy said tiredly. It had truly been the longest day of his life. His entire body was hurting and felt raw. “Why are you doing this? Adam is never going to be yours now.”

“I know. You tainted him anyway. I just want to understand the draw to you. What about you kept him coming back to you. I don’t understand. I literally let him control me and still he goes straight to you who never lets anyone else have control.”

“You realize that saying you LET him control you means he was never actually in control, right? You don’t control the dominate, that defeats the purpose. Adam has never liked being handled. Not by band, management, fans or lovers. He does his own thing always.” Tommy was so tired. He just wanted to sleep for awhile.

“Hmm...you might have a point there bitch. Maybe I should dominate you and see if that answers it.”

“There is trust between a dom and sub and that is something we will never have.” 

“I don’t give a shit about trust. I own you and can do anything I want to you right now. That is true domination and power. There is nothing you can do to stop me at all. So what do I give a shit about what you have to say?” 

Tommy heard a lighter click a couple times but felt nothing so his tensed shoulders relaxed. He couldn’t see what Greg was doing though and that still made him nervous. He felt Greg plop down on his legs but before he could turn he felt a blinding pain against his neck and he strugged against the ropes and tried to buck Greg off him. He belatedly realized Greg had used the lighter to heat up something that he had then used to burn Tommy.

“Fuck you!” Tommy spat out. 

“What is the draw to such a foul mouth asshole like you? You do your own thing always and fuck everyone else and I gave him everything he could ever want. Why would he pick you?” Greg wondered absently.

“Because you aren’t me asshole, that is why he picked me. No matter what you did or what you gave him, you couldn’t be me and he will always pick me.” Tommy figured at this point he had nothing to lose. Greg was obviously going to kill him it was simply a matter of when. Tommy had no chance in hell of fighting him off, he was smart enough to know that but he could fight him verbally. He could leave his mark in that way. He could make damn sure that he never gave in to the sadistic fuck and if that was all he could do, it would have to be enough.

\------

“Alec Carrigan!” Isaac said in triumph. “Found his yearbook photo and its him and was able to trace him all the way back to grade school.” 

“Great! Lets search for properties!” His friend said. Sutan and Monte had come to join them and they couldn’t really do anything to help but they took over the duty of keeping everyone informed and making sure the twosome had coffee and whatever else they needed. 

\-------

“Idiot child.” Greg/Alec said. “You really never do know when to shut the fuck up do you?” He popped open his switchblade and swiftly cut waistband to butt of Tommy’s jeans. He gripped Tommy’s briefs and ripped them off, the elastic brutally ripping into Tommy in the process but with everything else, he barely noticed. 

When Greg smacked his bare ass extremely hard several times, Tommy realized at once what Greg meant to do. For the first time since he had been taken, Tommy began to panic. His breathing began to race and Greg slowly smiled. He was finally getting through. This would be how he would break Tommy after all. 

“Your precious Adam I’m sure always used lube but I think we will forgo that between us.” Greg said. “Now condom or not?” He wondered aloud. “It doesn't matter to you, you won’t live to care but you are a nasty little bitch and I don’t know that I trust that Adam made you get tested since he is condom always man.” He stood up and paced thinking aloud. He looked over at the (in his mind) comical site of Tommy. Splayed out across the mattress, Visible body covered in bruises. Bare ass hanging out of his ripped pants. The only clothing he had on now were the tatters of his shirt on his arms only and the legs of his jeans. The rest was bare. “Damn you are so pale. I mean so ugly pale. You look dead.” He laughed. “Guess you will be soon. Most people, their ass is white and the rest of them a slightly different color, you though, your whole body matches your ass. Really nasty looking.”

“I’ll get a tan next time I go to the beach.” Tommy promised tiredly. He decided to let himself drift away. It was too hard and this was too painful. He started remembering various times with Adam. Like when they had tried crazy gelato flavor combinations in Italy and the subsequent sugar rush had them running around and giggling for hours. The time Adam had dragged him into a photo booth and kissed him senseless right as the pictures snapped. The totally dazed expression on his face had been a point of pride for Adam ever since. The time Adam’s hotel room shower was acting weird and he had showered in Tommy’s and Tommy walked in on him. Adam crying on his shoulder when he and Sauli had split up and Tommy rocking him to sleep afterwards. Memories like that just seemed to start projecting across his brain and Tommy used it to totally disconnect from the reality that was happening. So many special memories of their time together. 

\-----

Adam got off the plane as quickly as he could and turned on his phone as he practically ran to the front of the airport to grab a cab. He kept his head down and ignored every person that seemed to look curiously at him. 

\--Sutan wanted to pick you up but with parking figured it would take longer. We think we found it 2121 E 6th street Skid Row. As soon as you can--

Adam almost skidded to a halt when he saw the address. He picked up the pace and ran to the taxi line. He waited anxiously for almost 5 minutes for his turn for a cab. Would have been closer to 20 but several people either recognized him or saw how agitated he was and let him jump ahead. Finally getting into the cab he gave the address. “Are you sure, dude? That's a rough area…”

“GO!” Adam barked out.

When the cab finally pulled up outside the building he threw far too much money in the front and leapt out. There were several cop cars and an ambulance out front. A crowd of friends waited impatiently and he headed straight for Isaac. “Is he….??” he begged for the answer while dreading it.

“Adam! Thank God!” Isaac said and suddenly Isaac, Sutan and Monte were hugging him. “He is alive. They are getting ready to bring him out and take him to the hospital. They had to subdue Greg first.” 

Just then Adam watched as four officers surrounding Greg were escorting him to a police car. “I ruined him for you now. He will never let you fuck him again.” He laughed at Adam. Adam immediately lunged toward Greg but several officers immediately grabbed him. One of the officers “accidentally” slammed Gregs head on the door of the car while putting him in. It would have been funny had it not been for the situation.

Once they had him secured in the police car, the paramedics wheeled out Tommy. He was not conscious and he was paler than Adam had ever seen him. He had a white sheet over him to his chest but there was a very wet red stain growing from Tommy’s side. Adam’s legs gave out and he let out a sound none of them ever wanted to hear again. He got his feet under him and ran to the ambulance to ride with Tommy. The paramedics tried to block him but one look on his face and they let him in afterall. 

The last sight Isaac had of Adam was him taking hold of Tommy’s hand with tears streaming down his face. “I’m right here, glitterbaby. I’m right here. Please wake up baby. Please. He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” Isaac knew in that moment that if Tommy didn’t make it through this, neither would Adam. It was as simple as that.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath and damage. No, this isn't the end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful and awesome readers! Here is chapter 23. I had to do a bit of research on this one to make sure medical crap was accurate. lol.
> 
> I do not know or own them except Greg whom I really don't like to claim. This is a work of fiction and any similarities between this and reality would be interesting but completely by accident. I make no money from this story and I am fiercly protective of my writing so please don't steal it. If you want to archive my writing somewhere, please ask. If you want to be alerted to any updates, please email me at eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and let me know which stories you would like to be alerted for updates. 
> 
> Now on to the chapter....

Adam sat in the waiting room of the hospital. He was gradually joined by more and more of their friends. Sutan took charge of letting everyone know which Adam appreciated because he couldn’t focus on anything until he knew Tommy was ok.. He counted time by the number of empty coffee cups next to him and he held hands with Lisa, waiting to hear if Tommy was going to be alright. All anyone would tell him was that Tommy had been shot. Adam felt like he would not be able to breathe until he saw Tommy again.

Finally Leila appeared and took charge. She folded Adam into her arms and comforted him for a few minutes before doing the same for Lisa. She made someone go get them both food and guilted them into eating a little. She also made he and Lisa take turns walking outside for a few minutes. There was a little inner courtyard they could walk in. She sat between them, holding their hands. Adam and Lisa were both pale and shaky. Waiting to hear. Hours past and time lost all meaning for Adam. As the minutes ticked by he feared each minute was Tommy’s life dripping away. 

A door opened and a doctor in scrubs appeared and began to head toward them, Adam’s breathing sped up until he was close to hyperventilating. Leila patted his hand and the three of them stood up in anticipation of the news. “Breathe slower honey.” Leila told him. 

“Ratliff?” The doctor asked. 

“I’m Tommy’s sister and this Adam and Adam’s mother.”

“Can I speak with you over here?” The doctor asked apparently trying to separate her from the rest.

Lisa’s face grew hard and she gripped Adam’s hand. “Adam and Tommy are everything to each other. Whatever you have to say, you say to us both furthermore, Leila is the only mother Tommy and I have had since ours died last year. So she stays too. Now tell me how the fuck my brother is.”

The doctor looked chastened. “My apologies. It is simply easier to relate sensitive news to family first and allow them to decide how it is distributed.”

“They are family.” Lisa snapped.

The doctor gave a regretful look. “Again, my apologies.” Without further hesitation he began updating them, “Mr. Ratliff is going to be okay. We will start there. He has sustained many injuries; some superficial and some a little serious. The worst was a gunshot to his external oblique muscles which is to say his side. The bullet has been removed and he has been stitched up. There was damage to the muscle which will take awhile to heal but no damage to organs or major arteries so that was good news. He had lost some blood so we gave him some of that too. It appears he also suffered several stabs, cuts, burns and beatings. His right hand was broken; his jaw was broken and we had to wire it shut and….” he hesitated. “I’m sorry to have to add to this but he appears to have been raped as well.”

Adam made a noise like he had been punched and Leila gripped his hand hard. He couldn’t fall apart, not right now anyway. That could come later but not right now. He straightened his shoulders and drew himself up. He nodded for the doctor to continue.

“That was the sensitive information I was referring to. He will be ok physically. He will take time to heal, and he will not be able to be on his own for awhile. He will need someone to keep him from moving around too much. Emotionally, he has been through a major trauma that is not as easily or quickly healed. He will likely need therapy and feel a need for safety and will need his support group to be very patient with him. You can see him shortly when he gets out of the recovery room. We are going to keep him for a couple days and make sure the gunshot and stabs are healing correctly before we release him. 

“You’ll get us as soon as we can see him?” Adam asked anxiously. The doctor nodded and strode away. Adam looked at Lisa. “Are you ok with me telling the group what he said?” Adam asked. He really only meant the last part. He didn’t know how Lisa would feel about their friends knowing that Tommy had been raped. She hesitated for a minute and bit her lip. Leila watched and held her hand up in a stop gesture when Sutan, Isaac and Ashley appeared unwilling to wait for the news. Finally she nodded. Adam hugged her and she began to cry. 

Adam slowly walked over to the group, keeping his arm around Lisa. He stood before the group and drew on the strength of his friends. “First and most importantly he is going to be ok. We can take turns going back to see him once they move him into recovery. Greg…” Adam choked on a sob and had to stop for a minute. He had brought someone into their lives who had done this to Tommy. This was all his fault. His knees got shaky and Sutan seemed to notice immediately.

Sutan stepped forward and took Adam’s face gently in his hands. His hands and eyes gentle but his voice hard and demanding no argument. “This is not your fault Adam. This is solely on the asshole that did this. Not you. Don’t you dare go taking the blame for this, even a little.” 

Lisa gasped when she realized where Adam’s mind had gone. “Adam, this isn’t your fault.” She said softly. “He is going to need you, not your guilt.” She squeezed his hand. “I don’t blame you at all and I know he won’t either. This is all on that psycho; not you.” Adam took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. He visibly strengthened himself and continued.

“He was shot which was the primary damage. It was to his side I think…” He looked to Lisa for confirmation and she nodded, still clinging to his hand. “He was stabbed, burned, cut and beaten. His jaw is broken and had to be wired shut, right hand broken and various other things. There is a lot of damage and the doc said he will need someone with him for awhile to help him recover and not move around too much. He….he was also….he….” Adam took another shuddering breath. “He raped my pretty kitty.” His voice was anguished and shaking and the room filled with gasps and noises of dismay as everyone registered what he said.

Isaac stepped forward. “Since it is going to be a little bit before we can really see him, I am going to go get some stuff for you both. Clothes and whatever else you will need. Make me a quick list.” Isaac said. Adam nodded gratefully. “Lisa, can I get anything for you?” He asked gently. 

“No.” she responded in a small voice. “Thank you though, you all are his family and I appreciate you all.” Adam squeezed her hand. 

“We all love him, Lis. He is our family and so are you.” He said simply. They finally took their seats waiting for a chance to see him. 

Another hour or so went by and then the doctor came out to get them. Just two for now and without question it was Adam and Lisa who followed him. They wound their way through the hallways to the ICU department. He led them into a small room and over to Tommy’s bedside. Tommy looked tiny and pale against the white sheets. He had bandages holding his jaw in place and from what the doctor told them, it was wired shut. He had black eyes and what they could see of his face was covered in bruises. “Fuck.” Adam exclaimed quietly.

“He should be waking up soon.” The nurse on duty said softly. “It will help after what he has been through to have people he loves and feels safe with here when he wakes up.” They nodded and took seats next to the bed. “Talk to him, he can hear you.” With that she left the room.

“Hey little brother.” Lisa said. “I’m here and I love you.” She looked over and saw Adam crying. “Adam is here too, honey. You have got a ton of people out in the waiting room for you too. You are going to be ok and we will get you all the help you need. We love you so much.”

“Baby, I love you.” Adam said softly. “Please come back to me. We just found our way to each other and I can’t let that go yet. Please baby.” A tear dripped onto Tommy’s arm and his skin twitched but that was the only reaction he got for a minute. Then Tommy’s eyelashes fluttered. “Tommy? Baby? Baby, can you hear me? Glitterbaby?” At that last one, Tommy flinched and opened his eyes. 

Adam looked into those beautiful brown eyes. “There you are baby.” He saw the question in Tommy’s eyes and then the panic set in when he tried to speak and couldn’t with his jaw wired shut. “Shhh, baby. Your jaw was hurt and to fix it; they had to wire it shut for awhile. Don’t try to talk yet. You are in the hospital. He...he was arrested. I’m so sorry it took us so long to find you. Lis is here and everyone else is in the waiting room.”

“Hey little brother.” Lisa said softly. Tommy’s eyes flicked to her and then locked back onto Adam’s. “We are here for you. We love you so much Tommy Joe.”

Adam was trying so hard to read Tommy’s eyes but was having a hard time. He got nervous. “Baby?...” he asked quietly. “Do you want me to leave? Are you uncomfortable with me here?”

Tommy’s eyes widened and he shook his head slightly, the panic there plain. Adam patted his hand. “Its okay baby, I won’t leave if you don’t want me to.” Tommy’s body and expression relaxed. “You are going to be in here a couple days and then I will take care of you.”

Tommy nodded just a bit. Lisa sensing they needed a minute made an excuse of telling everyone Tommy was awake and left the room. Adam gently stroked a hand through Tommy's hair. “I was so scared, baby.” Adam whispered. “I was so afraid I was never going to see you again. I love you so much and I was going crazy not being able to get to you. I’m so sorry baby. I promised Lisa and mom that I wouldn’t break down and I won’t. Not yet. But just know that I will do anything. Literally anything to make this up to you, not that I ever can and I know it.” 

Tommy squeezed Adam’s hand and make his eyes as soft as he could. He didn’t blame Adam. Not for a minute. He had been through hell though and he didn’t think he could really handle helping Adam through it right now. It was freaking him out to not be able to speak. He looked down at his body and saw bandages all over and it looked like his right hand was in a cast. Fuck! How bad was it? His breathing began to speed up and Adam noticed where his attention was immediately.

“Shit! Baby, I didn’t even think of that. You are worried over being able to play guitar again, aren’t you?” Tommy nodded, eyes filling with tears. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I should have asked.” Adam’s eyes were full of misery. 

“Asked what?” A nurse asked as she came in with a drink and a straw.

“His hand. He is a guitar player. Is he going to have use of his hand again?”

The nurse patted Tommy’s uninjured hand. “The doctor should be by soon to talk with you about everything and you can ask him. We will do everything we can to help you recover fully.” 

Tommy nodded. Adam reached for the soda and cracked it open and stuck the straw in it. “Here, baby, have something to drink.” He held the drink up for Tommy and the blonde took a couple swallows.

The next few hours passed by in an ebb and flow of people coming in and leaving. Adam refused to leave Tommy’s side. The nurses realized fairly quickly how stubborn he could be and it appeared that Tommy panicked when he couldn’t see Adam which made the whole situation worse overall so to keep their patient calm and their lives easier, they brought in pillows and blankets for Adam as it was obvious he would be there for the duration. Tommy sank in and out of sleep but when he did sleep he made horrible noises trying to scream but unable to move his jaw. Each time, Adam patiently took Tommy’s good hand and either sang or talked him back reality. When the nurses came in to give Tommy his liquid dinner, Adam shooed them out and he held the bottle himself. 

Tommy was terrified he was going to wake up back in that dank warehouse. Each time he fell asleep he dreamed that he was there. When he was awake, he didn’t allow himself to look away from Adam for too long at a time. Adam grounded him. When he could see those blue eyes and hear that melodic voice, he knew he was ok. He had survived. Greg hadn’t won.

The doctor brought good news on his hand. It would heal perfectly with only a scar to show for it. He did warn that once the cast came off, Tommys fingers would be stiff but he said he would look up some specific stretches for musicians and see if he could find some that might help Tommy’s recovery time drop. 

The only big hitch came late that night when Adam was talking to Tommy about the future. He was saying how he would take Tommy home and take care of him when Tommy’s breathing seized up and he began to panic. It took Adam a few desperate moments of trying to read Tommy’s eyes when he realized that his house was where Greg had grabbed him. He wouldn’t feel safe there. 

“Is that it, baby. You don’t feel safe in my house anymore?” He asked hesitantly. Tommy, relieved he had finally understood nodded. “But you feel safe with me, right?” Tommy nodded again. “So it's just my house?” Another nod. “Then I will sell the damn thing. I can’t live somewhere that you don’t feel safe, baby.” Without even realizing it, Adam then began to read Tommy’s eyes in the way he hadn’t since the glam nation days. “Don’t worry about it baby, its a house. You are more important to me.” He smiled tenderly and leaned in to gently kiss Tommy’s lips. 

Adam immediately called his realtor and left a message that he wanted to sell his house immediately and that he would need a rental until he found a new house and it needed to happen fast. He hoped they got back to him. He thought for a moment. “Maybe we can look at houses together?” He suggested softly. “I know you aren’t ready to live with me but you have a say so in our house anyway, even if you aren’t ready to live there permanently. I don’t intend to ever buy a house for just me or me and anyone else again. You are my future.” He could read the smile in Tommy’s eyes. They were going to be ok. It was going to be hard work but they could make it through anything if they did it together.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffy goodness and some details on injuries and plans for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my darling readers. Sorry for the delay; I brought my laptop home for Christmas to spend some of last weekend writing but my uncle had a heart attack last Friday and then his wife had gall stones on Christmas day so I ended up spending my time going back and forth to the hospital. They are both out and recovering but as you can imagine I didn't have much time to write. Please forgive me. 
> 
> I do not know or own them, as far as I am aware this story is complete fiction (more's the pity) and I write solely for the love of writing. Thank you to those who comment and let me know what they like and thank you to those who leave kudos or even simply take the time to read. I appreciate you all!! If you want to be alerted to updates you can email me at eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com and let me know. I will send out an email everytime I update. 
> 
> Now to the story.....

Tommy woke up slowly and heard a low voice talking nearby. He looked over and saw Adam talking on his phone. “I know. I don’t care, it needs to be sold and I need somewhere as fast as possible. Tommy is coming home with me and I need to take care of him and I can’t do that somewhere where he doesn’t feel safe. If I have to, I will take him to a hotel but I would prefer somewhere where he can feel safe. I would prefer for that not to be at a hotel for long.” Adam paused to listen. “Sell it for whatever and do whatever you need to. I don’t care if I take a loss. He is more important.” He paused again. “I will. Let me know when you know something.” He hung up and looked up, meeting Tommys eyes. 

Adam moved over to Tommy’s side. “Hey, baby. How are you feeling today?” He read the answer in Tommy’s eyes. “Some pain huh? Do I need to get the nurse for you?” He read the answer again. “Don’t be brave baby, if you need medicine please take it. I don’t like you hurting at all. I love you, baby.”

The nurse came in. “Good morning Mr. Ratliff and Mr. Lambert. How are we doing today?” Adam just smiled at her. 

“I think he probably has to go to the bathroom.” Adam said. “He is squirming a bit.” Tommy just blushed at being noticed. 

“I can help with that, honey.” The nurse said. She helped Tommy move his IV lines and swing his legs over. She helped to support him as he eased his legs off the bed and moved to stand. Adam stood out of the way but the second Tommy’s feet touched the ground he felt something and his eyes shot to Tommy’s. Tommy’s eyes were filled with pain. 

“Stop!” Adam cried out and immediately moved to Tommy’s side. He tenderly picked Tommy up being very careful not to hit any of his wires and IV lines and trying not to press any bruises or the gunshot in his side. The nurse looked at him in shock.

“What are you doing? You are hurting him.” The nurse said in anger. 

“No I’m not. When he stood something was hurting him a lot. I’m relieving that.” He looked at Tommy tenderly. “Are you ok now baby? I’m trying not to hurt your wounds. I will carry you to the bathroom if you want or I can put you back in the bed and the nurse can help you and then we will look at your feet. Nod if you can’t stand on your feet.” Tommy nodded deliberately. “Did he do something to your feet?” Tommy nodded again. “OK baby. Do you want me to take you to the bathroom?” A nod. Seeing all this the nurse backed off and instead went to open up the bathroom door for them. “Grab your IV pole baby. I need you to hold that so I can carry you. Can you do it?” Tommy nodded again and grabbed it with his good hand. 

Adam gently carried Tommy into the small bathroom and gently sat him down on the toilet, moving the hospital gown out of the way. He let Tommy relieve himself and when Tommy motioned that he was ready, Adam picked him up and carried him back to the bed. He got Tommy settled and comfortable in the hospital bed and then he and the nurse moved to the foot of the bed and looked at his feet. They looked like old hamburger. The nurse gasped. “Mr. Ratliff, I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I would never have had you stand on those.”

Adam moved back to the head of the bed. He gently moved Tommy’s hair out of his face. “He didn’t even remember until his weight hit them, did you baby?” Tommy shook his head no. Adam just kept looking lovingly into Tommy’s eyes. “You didn’t know.” he told the nurse. “Can you get a doctor in to look at them though?” 

“Of course!” She said at once and left the room quickly. 

Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair gently and leaned down. He kissed him gently and lovingly. When the doctor cleared his throat from the doorway, Adam finally pulled away, grinning at the dazed look in Tommy’s eyes. 

The doctor looked long and at times used painful probing on Tommy's feet. Finally he looked over at Adam. “nothing is broken and they will heal fine though I imagine they will scar. We will get some ointment that should soothe them and promote healing. He definitely needs to stay off his feet though. I'll have the nurse put in a catheter so he can relieve himself…” Tommy began frantically shaking his head. 

“I don't think he likes that idea doc, can I carry him when he needs to go?” Adam asked, already planning on doing it anyway.

“It isn't recommended, especially with the amount of damage to his body…” the doctor said doubtfully. A hint of sound came from Tommy and they both looked over. Tommy made the sound again and it took two more tries before they realized he was saying please. “Your feeling of safety and security is of course important as well. Is this how you would be most comfortable? Having Mr. Lambert carry you and help you each time?” Tommy nodded solemnly. “Well I suppose it would be ok as long as he is very careful.”

“I will be doctor. I would never hurt Tommy.” the love in his eyes was so clear and was reflected back from the love in Tommy's. 

“Very well. I will let the nurses know. As to the rest of his injuries, it will take time and rest to heal. I trust he has somewhere safe to stay when we release him in a few days?”

“Yes, he is going to stay with me. I have us a hotel room on standby and I am trying to find a new house, I will rent one if needbe. Listen, should he have a wheelchair when we get him out of here? I think he would be more comfortable if he can be somewhat mobile.”

“That is a good idea though the cast on the hand will make it rather difficult for him to push himself. I can set it up for you though.”

“Good.” Adam said. “Even if he can’t push himself very well at least he won’t have to feel trapped.” 

Once the doctor left Adam gently and carefully lay himself on the very edge of the bed; carefully holding Tommy. “Baby, you are everything to me, you know that right?” He waited and Tommy gave a small nod. “I will do anything to help you through this. I know that right now you want me close and I make you feel safe. That's great. I’m sure though at some point you are going to blame me for bringing him into our lives…” Tommys eyes grew angry and he shook his head. Adam gently touched his lips. “I’m not naive enough to think that won’t happen baby. When it does just know that whatever you need is yours. Even if it means we end as friends and I never get to be your boyfriend again. Or even…” he swallowed hard. “Even if it means you decide being around me is too painful. You will have anything and everything you ever need.” He kissed Tommy’s lips lovingly. 

“Shus uph.” Tommy said and Adam looked at him in shock.

“Did you just tell me to shut up?” He asked his lips twitching with laughter.

Tommy nodded, his eyes still angry. Adam started giggling. “How hard is it to not call me a fucker or tell me to fuck off right now?”

“Hart!” Tommy said. Adam giggled again. 

“I’m sorry baby, I don’t mean to laugh. It’s just funny hearing you speak through your swollen jaw and I know you can’t move it with it wired shut so I know there are a million things you want to say that you really can’t right now. It gives me all kinds of ideas but I can wait until you are healing a bit better.” He calmed his giggles. “It's just funny to have you who are never at a loss for a curse and now you can barely speak.” Tommys eyes glared at him but Adam could see the twinkle of amusement in them. 

Adam kissed him slowly and tenderly their lips moving together until the were both breathing a little heavy and they were both relaxed. Adam smiled and pulled out his phone and he and Tommy began to look at pictures of the houses the realtor was sending him. Adam knew he may not have forever with Tommy anymore, hell that hadn’t been guaranteed prior to Greg and now was less so, but he was going to make damn sure that they owned a house together and that it was a place Tommy could always feel safe. They spent the afternoon watching TV and looking at houses and not a small amount of kisses. 

That night Tommy was moved into a regular room and the police came by to take his statement. When they realized they really couldn’t understand him; they determined that Adam could write his statement and once he was released they could bring it to the police station and witness Tommy signing his agreement that that was what happened. “He will be away for a very long time, Mr. Ratliff. We are putting together a very strong case and your friend Isaac has helped us solve a number of other assaults and identity thefts from his history. He will not be able to bother you again.” Tommy gave a short tense nod and Adam could tell Tommy really wasn’t ready for this conversation and he looked in relief as Isaac and Sutan came through the door. 

The move to a new room meant more people could visit at once and suddenly visiting hours were filled with their friends dropping by to see Tommy. Adam never moved far from his side and Leila finally gave in and brought him a toiletry kit so he could shave and shower there without leaving. While he took care of his grooming and hygiene, Tommy like to sit on the toilet and watch him. He really didn’t like Adam being out of his sight and tended to panic when Adam went to go get food. He tried to hide it from Adam but he knew his boyfriend knew. Everytime Adam came back he lay on the bed with Tommy and kissed and cuddled him gently for a few minutes before he would even eat what he had gotten.

\--Hey guys, sorry I’ve been away for a bit. I’ve had some stuff happen and am recovering. Once I am feeling better, I will give more details but for the time being, know that I am ok and Adam is taking excellent care of me.-- Tommy slowly and painfully dictated the twitter message to his followers to Adam and they sent it out knowing the TJRArmy was becoming worried about Tommy’s silence. Tommy wanted to be very upfront but he wasn’t ready yet. 

Adam brought Tommy a dry erase board so that he could communicate a bit better and the first thing Tommy wrote to everyone’s amusement was “stupid fucker.” directed at Adam. Adam just laughed and refused to explain. After a week in the hospital; Tommy was released and Adam whisked them straight to the Presidential Suite at Hotel Bel-Air. Tommy looked around in awe that Adam was doing this for him but when he tried to say it was too much Adam seemed to distract him by kissing him or changing the subject and he finally gave up. He was on a strict liquid diet that was no fun but to cater to Adam, the hotel made Tommy decadant rich thick shakes that he loved. 

Life continued on and Tommy began to relax but he knew that at night it was a different story. He had frequent night terrors and Adam always patiently sang and spoke to him until he calmed down and woke up. Tommy didn’t know what he was going to do when Adam rejoined Queen but Adam wouldn’t even let him ask. He knew this honeymoon couldn’t last forever but he was as content as he could be for now. 

“Eye luff yeah.” He said to Adam and Adam smiled sweetly and kissed him. 

“I love you too, baby. Always and forever.”

Tommy finally decided he would worry about what would happen when it happened. For now he just enjoyed his time with Adam and tried to get past the fear and the pain. They hadn’t resumed a physical relationship beyond kissing and cuddling but Tommy wanted them to. That night in their king size bed when Adam kissed him and held him close, Tommy let his good hand drift down and cup Adam’s arousal. The singers eyes widened when Tommy’s slim nimble fingers slipped inside his sleep shorts and began to stroke him. 

“Baby?” Adam asked, a moan wringing out.

“Eye ought yeah ttt ttch me.”

“You want me to touch you?” 

Tommy nodded slowly, his lips quirking up in a smile. His hand kept moving and he felt Adam rising to the occasion. Adam quickly stripped both their clothes off and he stared deeply into Tommys eyes, sharing kisses as their hands moved over each other. Gasps and moans filled the air and with a final kiss they both fell over the edge of bliss. 

Tommy didn’t know that he was ready for sex yet. Greg had hurt him a lot. But feeling Adam’s hands on him had reminded him of how pleasurable this could be. It helped some of the painful memories take a backseat which Tommy was grateful for.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sutan susses out a problem and goes about fixing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My darling readers, I suck and I'm sorry. No excuses for the delay and I apologize profusely. My hubby has been hounding me to write and finally just looked at me and asked how long since I posted and said I owed it to you all to post. No amount of long work days and sickness can make up for the delay. Again I apologize. I will try to do better.
> 
> As always,  
> I do not know or own them and to the best of my knowledge, this is not true.
> 
> Now for chapter 25

Adam stood on the terrace talking softly into the phone. “I know I need to come back; I just can’t decide how to do this. He panics if I am away from him at all.” He listened for a few moments. “I thought about that and I would feel best if he could but I don’t know that he can handle the crowds and noise right now. I was thinking maybe I should hire a nurse and let him get to know and trust them before I return.” He listened some more. “I will try my best…” he hesitated. “Roger, I feel I should be upfront with you that I may not tour with Queen again. I love it and it has been amazing but this just brings home how much I want to be doing my own music and I want Tommy up there with me.” He listened and smiled gently. “Thank you. You and Brian have meant so much to me.”

He heard the door open and looked back to see Tommy limping out, eyes a little wild until he saw Adam and then they slowly calmed. Adam sat in the long porch chair and guestrued for Tommy to come sit between his spread thighs. The blonde did and immediately curled into him tucking his head under Adam’s chin and listened to his half of the conversation. “Well my patient has sought me out so I am going to let you go. Apologize to management for me and explain as best you can.”

When he hung up, he gently pushed Tommy’s hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. “You ok, baby?” Tommy nodded and snuggled in harder. “Bad dreams?” Adam guessed and Tommy nodded again. “I’m sorry baby. Roger was calling to see how you were.” he hesitated. “We don’t have to do it right now, but within the next couple days we are going to have to begin making some plans. I am supposed to be on tour and I will have to finish it.”

Tommy nodded. “Lurtr.” he said and kissed Adam. For now he really needed to dispel the bad dreams. Adam moaned into the kiss. “Luff yeah.” 

“I love you too, baby. Forever and always.” They lay together and watched the sun come up. Together they went in and made breakfast. They checked in on social media and went to the doctor for a check up. Tommy's feet were coming along well. It was still a little painful to walk but much less than it was. Everything else was healing as scheduled. 

Adam felt like a man dying inside but he hid it well. His Glitterbaby was so beautiful and full of life. He had never been one to back down in any way but now he was frightened of every shadow and had to keep Adam in sight at all times. Adam felt like he was drowning in guilt over it but didn't know who to talk to about it. Then he felt guilty for feeling guilty. After all Tommy had been through, he was the one who needed help not Adam. He hid all of these emotions, only allowing them to boil over when he was in the shower and could hide it. It was eating him up inside. 

Sutan and Isaac were frequent visitors and Tommy almost became his old self around them so Adam welcomed their presence. That day he smiled at them as he let them in the room. “Hey baby, look who is here.” Adam said with a bright smile that didn't reach his eyes. He watched as within minutes, Isaac and Tommy were battling each other at Mariocart. Adam went to the balcony and stared out. 

“I keep waiting but you really are that stubborn, aren't you boo?” Sutan said softly. 

Adam looked at him curiously. “What are you talking about?” he asked, expression carefully blank.

“Talking.” Sutan answered simply. “You may be a big powerful man but having all those emotions locked up isn't good boo. I kept waiting for you to talk to someone but you just stubbornly don't. You sacrifice yourself thinking Tommy needs it but boo, he needs you. The real you. Not this shell of strength thing you have going on right now.”

Adam turned to look at Sutan and his emotions finally shown in his eyes and Sutan immediately hugged him close. “I can't. He needs me to be strong. I have no right to complain after what he has gone through.”

“Boo, he needs HIS Adam and right now you aren't that. You have everything locked down so tight he can't feel safe. You aren't talking to him so he doesn't feel secure enough to talk to you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card and pressed it into Adam’s hand. “This is Sophia. She is a friend and a therapist. You both need to talk to someone. Call her right now and make an appointment. Please.” 

Adam took the card and looked at it. Finally he nodded and made the call. Sophia worked him in right away to his surprise. He went in nervously. “Tommy, baby?” He said cautiously. Tommy was parked in front of the TV, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he concentrated on driving. 

Isaac realized something needed to be said and he paused the game and looked expectantly at Adam. Tommy looked up in confusion and then looked to Adam. “Baby…” Adam started again. “I have an appointment I have to go to. Can Isaac and Sutan…”

“Just Isaac boo, I'm going with you.” Sutan interjected.

“...fine, can Isaac stay with you?” Adam asked hating the immediate rush of fear in Tommy's eyes.

Tommy hesitated. “Is it important?” He asked softly. 

Sutan crouched down in front of Tommy. “Vayvee, it is very important. He needs to do this and he needs you to trust him that he hasn't left you unprotected.” He said looking into Tommy’s eyes.

“But the last time he left.. “ Tommy started speaking and Adam immediately flinched. 

“Thomas Joseph!” Sutan said with a barely veiled Raja in there. “stop that right there. Look at Adam, Tommy. Really look at him…” he waited while Tommy examined Adam. “I know you have been through a lot Vayvee, more than anyone should ever have to endure. We all want to help you find your way back but Adam can't do much right now because he is lost himself. He is drowning in guilt and it is eating him up inside, can't you see it? In order for him to help you, he needs to get stronger and right now he is kind of fragile. Isaac will protect you, you know he would never let anyone near you.”

Tommy thought for a minute and finally nodded biting his lip. “Do what you have to, babyboy.” He said softly. 

Adam gave a grateful sound and dropped to his knees beside Tommy, peppering his face with kisses. “Thank you kitty. Thank you so much. I'll tell you all about it tonight.” 

Adam sat in the waiting room and fidgited. A lovely red haired woman opened a door with a soft smile. “Hello Sutan.” she greeted her friend and kisses both cheeks. Her voice lilting with a faint accent. She turned to Adam with a smile, dimples appearing in her cheeks. “Hello Adam. Welcome. Come on in and let's get to know each other a bit.” Adam stood, took a deep breath and followed her in. 

“So, Adam. This is your time. Tell me whatever you want to talk about at that time. I may ask questions to draw some things out but I will let you lead the direction. Ok?” Sophia said and Adam nodded. “Then the floor as they say is yours. How can I help you?” She crossed her legs and waited patiently, her head cocked slightly as she waited.

“Well...I really don't know where to start.” Adam hesitated but Sophia just nodded and waited for him to continue. “My boyfriend was kidnapped by my ex from my house and tortured and raped while I was on tour on the other side of the world.” He blurted out. 

Sophia blinked a few times. “Wow. That must have been very stressful for you.” she said. 

Adam frowned. “Pretty sure it was worse for Tommy.” He said. 

Sophia cocked an eyebrow. “Is this a contest of some sort?” She asked.

“But….I…..WHAT?” Adam finally asked.

“You made a lot of my statements. MY boyfriend, MY ex, MY house. That tells me that you are owning this whole situation and blaming yourself so when I said that must have been stressful for you, you immediately say Tommy is worse. I'm assuming Tommy is the current boyfriend. Anyway, the fact that you deflect concern for you and focus on Tommy tells me that this must be a competition.” she smiled at him. “afterall it is impossible that you could have your own emotions dealing with what happened to Tommy, right?”

Adam just sat back and blinked. “Oh.” He finally said sounding rather like an idiot. 

“So, let's start over and have you tell me why you are here.” She said simply. 

“So...uh….I’m a singer and right now I am touring around the world with Queen. Its pretty awesome.” He blushed for a second still sometimes finding it hard to actually believe he tours with Queen. “Anyway. I have a best friend. Now he is my boyfriend but we have been best friends for years and we finally got together and it has been a long and painful process. I’ll get into that later. Basically this guy I casually dated who worked for me took issue to me being with Tommy and blackmailed me. Tommy and I handled that and took away the leverage he had by outing Tommy and ourselves as a couple so in retaliation; while I was on tour, he broke into my house, kidnapped Tommy and tourtued him for a couple days. We, well a friend and some cops found Tommy and rescued him but I guess I am having a really hard time with it and I’m feeling really guilty.”

Sophia nodded. “Guilt sucks. It is such a powerful emotion and can serve some good but in this case it is just shit logic.” She said with a straight face. 

“But I am feeling guilty.” Adam said, starting to get angry. 

“Adam. I don’t doubt that you are feeling guilty. I’m saying it is shit logic because you had zero control over what happened. You were half way around the world. So you are letting a rational emotion that anyone would feel control you because you think you aren’t allowed to feel it. You are absolutely drowning in it and yet refusing to allow it to show. I can see it pouring off of you.”

Adam got quiet and thought for a minute. She definitely had a point. “So it is ok for me to feel guilty?”

“Of course it is! Your boyfriend was kidnaped by your ex lover from your house. If you didn’t feel guilty you wouldn’t be human.”

Adam took a deep breath and was horrified to feel tears well up in his eyes and began spilling down his cheeks. He gasped out a ragged breath and felt her arms around him. “Let it go Adam. Until you let the poison go, you can’t begin to heal.” She said softly and rubbed his back. Adam’s body obeyed her even though he had no intention of giving in and he began sobbing. Adam cried and sobbed and let all of his anguish pour out. For the first time in a very long time, he was not in control of himself.

A long time later, not even sure how long, Adam began to return to himself and began the process of pulling himself back together. He sat up and without embarrassment took the kleenex offered by Sophia and cleaned himself up. She stood and moved back over to her seat facing him. “I apologize.” He said. Sophia just smiled.

“It had to come out. Do you feel better having let it go?”

Adam paused to think and took a deep breath. He realized the weight that had been sitting on his chest through all of this horrible reality had lightened. He nodded slowly. “I think so. Its easier to breathe.” He admitted.

“Good.” Sophia said. “I suggest that we do some intensive work. I have a very flowing style and have even been known to go on the road with my clients if need be. That is probably why Sutan put us together. I suggest a couple hours a day and if Tommy is up for it probably some sessions with him alone and with you both. We can do that as long as is needed or until you need to go back on the road and if we are still working through everything at that point then we can reevaluate. Of course that also depends on you. I would like to help you work through all this but you have to be comfortable with me. If you want time to think or talk it over, I completely understand.”

Adam watched her. He finally cracked a ghost of a smile at the last sentence. He did like her. Sophia had forced him to confront himself faster than anyone else ever had. Her way was direct and honest. He liked her and more importantly he trusted her. He knew Tommy would as well. “I would like that. You to help me I mean. I think I need someone to cut through my bullshit sometimes and you seem able to do that.”

Sophia gave him a warm smile. “Great.” She grabbed her calendar. “What works best for you?” and with that Adam scheduled himself and Tommy appointments all week. They each would have a solo 2 hour block in the morning and then break for lunch. In the afternoon they would have an hour together. It hinged on Tommy as well but Adam was confident that he would be comfortable with Sophia quickly. 

Adam left the office with new life in his step and in his demeanor. He stood straighter and seemed like he wasn’t carrying as much of the weight on his shoulders. Sutan just smiled knowing he had done the right thing. When they got home, Adam didn’t say a word just picked Tommy up and carried him to the bedroom shutting the door behind them. He kissed Tommy senseless and then proceeded to tell him about the new friend he had and the new hope and lease on life he could see. It wasn’t like he was healed...far from it. But he knew from the lightning in his chest that they could come back from this. They could recover. That was enough for now.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of healing and feelings.
> 
> I do not know or own them and to the best of my knowledge this is not accurate of real life in any way. I make no money from this and write for my own benefit and enjoyment. If you like my writing, please let me know.
> 
> Now on to Chapter 26

Tommy sat before the red headed woman and looked at her suspiciously. He hadn’t spoken for the ten minutes he sat here, unsure of why Adam was insisting he do do this. After all they really couldn’t trust anyone but themselves. Trusting the wrong people was what had gotten them here. She just smiled at him. His suspicious look became a glare. “What do you want from us?” He finally blurted out.

Her lips twitched in laughter. “I want to help you in whatever way I can.” She answered.

“Why are you laughing?” He was growing more angry by the minute.

“First because you quoted a song of his and second and more relevant, you really do resemble a kitten, a spitting and hissing kitten.” 

“What the fuck?” Tommy said angrily. “How the hell can you help us at all when you are just going to fucking laugh?”

“Are you angry, Tommy?” She asked with a gentle smile.

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” He yelled. 

“Good.” She said softly. “Use the anger to get past the fear. Use the anger to propel you forward. Channel your anger to find out what you are really angry at and then we can find a way of dealing with it.”

He just sat and looked at her. “Why should I trust you with my feelings?” He finally asked

“That is up to you. If you don’t want to trust me then I can suggest some other people. This is entirely up to you. I will say though if you give me a chance you might find that I know more than a little bit about how you feel and can therefore help you. However the choice must be yours.” She said simply.

“How?” Tommy asked. “How could you possibly know how I feel?”

“Tell you what Tommy. Lets make a deal. How about I tell you how I think you are feeling and if I am right, you allow me to help you for a bit. How does that sound?”

He thought about it and finally nodded. Sophia took a deep breath and relaxed into the plush and squashy love seat she sat on. “You are feeling fear, such blinding fear you find it hard to breath sometimes. You are angry at the fear because you have always been a strong person but now you are afraid of the shadows in the dark and it makes you feel weak and helpless and you can’t stand that.” Tommy scoffed as if to say anyone could have guessed that but she just looked at him so he quieted down and kept listening. “You resent Adam…” His head shot up at that and she just met his gaze. “...you resent him almost as if he did this to you. You know he didn’t and you know he can’t help what happened but you still resent him for it and then because of that you hate yourself over the resentment. I would not be surprised at finding that more than once you have contemplated ending it all but so far you just get angry at yourself for thinking that. Just so you know, without help you will eventually try to end it.” Tommy looked down in shame knowing that she was dead on.

“You want vengeance but at the same time the thought of ever having to see him again makes you sick to your stomach and you don’t know if you have the strength left to face him in court but you don’t really trust anyone enough to tell them that. You feel fractured and you don’t think you will ever find your way back to the Tommy you were and deep down you wonder if you even should because that person is not who you thought they were.” She paused and looked at him. “How am I doing?”

Tommy’s brown eyes just met her green ones for a few minutes. “How did you know?” He finally asked softly.

“I have been a victim too.” She answered. “I will tell you about it sometime if you want to know but first I want to help you some.”

Tommy sat quietly and thought over what she had said. She did seem to get it. “How do we start?” He asked, his voice still soft. 

“This is your session but I think for you, I am going to start with questions. I want answers as emotionless as possible.”

“Isn’t the point of this to deal with the emotions?” He asked. 

“You are dealing with the emotions. You are drowning in them. I want you to be able to recall and talk about what happened without actually reliving it. So for you and just for now, I want you just to answer the questions with simple phrases and then together we can decide how to proceed. Sound ok?”

Tommy nodded. “Good. When did you first meet the guy who did this?” Tommy immediately tensed. “He isn’t here, Tommy. He can’t hurt you. It is just you and I talking. Less emotion, ok? When did you meet him?”

Tommy began to answer her questions. At first she had to remind him often to use short phrases and to not use emotional language but as he went one it got a bit easier. Telling it all was obviously hard and not fun but doing it this way wasn’t quite as painful. He could detach and just give the facts. He told her in depth what had been done to him. He didn’t tell how it felt because she didn’t want to talk about that yet and Tommy really didn’t either if he were honest about it. 

At the end of his two hours, his jaw hurt a bit from trying to enunciate words without being able to actually move his jaw but he was getting better at it and it was easier to understand him now. “That was wonderful Tommy.” Sophia said. “You did great. It can be so hard sometimes to separate out the emotion from the act but I want you to keep trying. These things were done TO you, you didn’t do them so by removing the emotion from it; it is easier to remember that you have survived and can move forward.”

“Can I?” He asked softly. “Can I really move forward? Am I ever going to want to be with Adam again?”

“Yes you can move past this. As to you wanting to be with Adam, I can’t answer that. You may never be able to take another man into bed and even if you can, you may not be able to take Adam. Only time will tell that. I can promise that I will help you no matter which direction you decide to go.” She looked at her watch. “Now, you boys go get lunch and decompress and I will see you both later this afternoon.” She smiled at him and Tommy gave a small smile of his own before leaving the room.

Adam and Tommy didn’t speak on the way to grab lunch. Tommy got a big bowl of soup and sipped it slowly while Adam ate his salad. “What did you think of her?” Adam finally asked nervously. “Do you think she can help?”

Tommy looked up and met Adam’s eyes and he gave a long look. Adam actually realized then how much Tommy had been avoiding his eyes lately. Tommy was subdued, obviously not trying to hide his emotions like he had been but he didn’t seem at all relieved so Adam didn’t know how it had gone. “She...she will work.” Tommy finally said. “She gets it.” That was all Tommy would say but Adam was relieved just knowing Tommy had talked to her. That was the best he could hope for at the moment. 

When the two rejoin Sophia, she smiles at them. “At first there will not be much to discuss for the three of us. We need to work through some things individually more first but I want you two to get in the habit of knowing this is a safe space where no emotions are wrong and I need you both to know that. I will never divulge what happened or was said in individual sessions. If you, either of you want to let them out here that is up to you. For this first time I want you to do two exercises. Okay?” She waits until they both nod. 

She stands and moves over to a punching bag in the corner. “I want you each to take a turn over here and I want Tommy to be first. Pick up this nerf bat,” she gestures, “and us it on this bag. Imagine it is whomever you want it to be. No one but you will know who you envision unless you choose to share that. Take out all your aggression on this bag. Really let go. I want at least 20 good hits apiece. Tommy?” She waves him forward. 

“Even if it is Adam.” she whispers. He hesitantly picks up the bat.

He takes a reluctant swing with no force behind it. “This feels really stupid.” he says as he swings again.

“Earlier, I didn't want that emotion, this however is the place and time to let it go. Think about how you felt earlier. Think about those emotions bottled inside. Let go of whatever you want. I had anger and fear and helplessness I had to let go of after my attack. Pour whatever negative emotion you have into it. How about I ask questions?” 

Tommy hesitantly nodded and bit his lip. “Ok. He broke your hand which makes playing guitar hard. How does it feel without that outlet?” Tommy's eyes clouded with anger and he swung the bat with more force than before. “He hurt your feet making it not only almost impossible but also incredibly painful for you to try to escape. Effectively he made you trapped by your own pain threshold.” Tommy swung the bat again remembering how after his feet, Greg hadn't been so intent on tying him up, finding it amusing to watch Tommy trying to escape but unable to walk far enough on his feet and couldn't crawl due to his hand and other injuries. He remembered Greg’s mocking laughter and swung the bat hard, several times. 

Tommy had never been with a man before Adam. The evil asshole took the beautiful love between Adam and him and by hurting Tommy and raping him, Tommy could only remember the pain and had no way to bring back happier and pleasurable memories. He lost himself in hitting the punching bag with the bat until he felt a gentle touch on his hand. Greg had taken the love of his life, his every reason for being and twisted it into something else.

“Come back to me, Pretty Kitty.” Adam said softly. Tommy dropped the bat and moved into Adam’s arms. Adam held him gently and let Tommy cry it out. “We will make it through this, baby. I will do anything to make this better for you.” Tommy allowed himself to cry for a few minutes but not too long. He finally stepped back and put his walls back up.

Adam took his turn with the punching bag picturing what he would do if he could get Greg alone for any amount of time. He beat up the bag and imagined Greg’s face on it. He was sweating and breathing heavy with exertion when he finished. He went back and sat back down. He gave a nervous smile at Tommy, suddenly worried about the effects of being so angry while around Tommy, hoping that Tommy wouldn’t have any flashbacks or be afraid of him.

“Now. The last thing for us to do today is to help for the future. I want you both to close your eyes.” Adam and Tommy did so though the latter was obviously wary. “Now, I want you to think back to a time when you were completely at peace. A time when you felt safe and loved and cared for and fulfilled. Doesn’t have to be a long memory as long as it is a good one with safety and peace.” She went quiet and gave them a few minutes to find that memory. “Without opening your eyes, nod if you have that memory.” She watched as Tommy hesitantly nodded and Adam nodded with a smile on his face. “This is your safe place. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed with emotion, I want you to think of this memory and use it to calm down. If you want to share them with each other it's up to you. It is most important for you two to be able to use your safe space when you need to. You can open your eyes when you are ready.”

Adam’s eyes popped open and he looked over at Tommy. Tommy was the most relaxed Adam had seen him and his eyes slowly slid open, meeting Adam’s. Tommy gave a small soft smile and reached for Adam’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Adam was so relieved by this touch that he gave a slight laugh. “My memory was that first time we had sex. The talk and the love was so overwhelming to me and I finally had everything I could ever want.” He said softly.

Tommy’s smile grew. “Mine was the same memory. I felt more cherished and loved than I have ever felt. I know I have been scaring you. I don’t know what our future holds but Adam I need you to know that I have never loved anyone as I love you. What we have is so rare. We actually found our other half. No matter what happens, loving you has been worth it.” He said softly. Adam felt a tear of happiness slip down his cheek, knowing that for now at least, he still had his kitty.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find a house! Adam goes back on tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I do not know or own them and to the best of my knowledge this is all fiction taken straight from my sick imagination. I make no money from this and write only for the joy of writing and nothing else. My writing is however important to me so don't steal it.
> 
> IMPORTANT:
> 
> I have searched and searched for house ideas for them. I thought I had the perfect house but then started second guessing it. I found the final house and fell in love with it. While I have and will make a few changes to the house if you want to see the house that inspired theirs you can look here:
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Los-Angeles-CA/pmf,pf_pt/20029910_zpid/12447_rid/3-_beds/3-_baths/1000000-_price/3936-_mp/globalrelevanceex_sort/34.338333,-117.956086,33.703206,-118.866578_rect/9_zm/
> 
> you will have to copy and paste into web browser, it won't let me hyperlink for some reason.
> 
> Now for Chapter 27

The rest of the week continued much the same. They had their individual sessions in the morning and then a joint one in the afternoon. It was helping Adam deal with his anger and helplessness over the situation and of course his feelings of guilt. Tommy was working through his feelings of vulnerability and his anger that Adam had let this mad man into their lives. He was starting to relax and not need Adam in sight at all times though his panic attacks were still legendary. He was trying not to take too much medication though, it dulled his senses for one which in the long run made him feel more vulnerable and also there would come a day he wouldn’t have medicine so he tried to only take it when it was absolutely necessary. 

On Friday they finally got the call Adam had been anxiously awaiting. Their realtor had found them a house. They agreed to meet her that afternoon at the address. Adam hung up thrilled. Maybe once they were in their own place instead of this hotel things could settle down. He had to get back on the road soon too. He knew that Tommy didn’t want to hear it but it was the truth anyway. Maybe if they could have their own house it wouldn’t be such a big deal. They stopped at their favorite coffee place along the way and got two large coffees and pulled up in front of the house staring in shock. 

The house wasn’t at all the modern style that Adam usually went for. It had more of a gothic, mansion type feel although a good amount of natural stone in the walls of the house mixed with porches spanning both upper and ground levels and staircases to come up or down in view it didn’t have the closed in feel of most gothic styles. They were outside the gate looking at a wide driveway leading up to the house. The gothic feel was right up Tommy’s alley. “It looks like a fortress but a really pretty and safe one.” Tommy said in awe. They couldn’t see much of the house through the gate but drank their coffee while looking. The realtor pulling up a few minutes later and punching in the code on the gate. They followed her car up to the house. 

“I know it isn’t really your style, Adam. I know you prefer crisp lines and lots of glass but just wait till you see the inside. It’s so open.”

They followed her in and looked around. The front door opened into a beautiful room that though wide was more like a hallway and further on opened up where a staircase wound up the back wall leading to the second floor. The balcony on the second floor over looked the entryway and from the looks of it, you could see most of the house from up there and it wound all the way around. The house was open with welcoming rooms in the middle of the house like the living room, dining room and an office and the private rooms, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen on the outside of the house. It was a different set up but it flowed really well. They followed her to the left and entered a sitting room with a stone fireplace against the wall and a large bay window showing the backyard and pool. They saw a modern kitchen with white speckled granite counters and light brownish grey cabinets. An island was in the middle of the kitchen but the kitchen was wide and open and didn’t feel claustrophobic at all. There was a large pantry and a wine room off the kitchen. It was a three bedroom house. The bathrooms were modern and gorgeous. Large whirlpool tubs, walk in showers, large closets. Outside there was a covered porch that would be perfect for the exercise area overlooking the pool and jacuzzi. A large back yard and garden that would be a fabulous area for throwing parties. All they could ever want in one house. The outside appearance may not have been what Adam liked usually but the inside...it was everything he could ever have hoped for. He looked over at Tommy to get his opinion.

Tommy looked around and analyzed. No one could either sneak upstairs without being seen nor could he be upstairs and not see someone coming in. The kitchen felt open and safe. The whole house felt that way. He felt like here he was protected. Here he could be Tommy again. Here he didn’t have to be on guard anymore. He looked up at Adam and smiled. “I love it.” He said softly. This could be THEIRS, not just Adam’s. He could make a home here. He could make a future with Adam here. 

“YES!” He grabbed Tommy and picked him up, spinning him around before kissing him deeply. “Me too, baby, me too.” He turned to the realtor. “We want it. How fast can we get this done?” 

“I had a feeling I had found the winner.” She grinned and they went through the details. She agreed to reach out to the owners with their offer and try to expedite the process. The boys went their separate ways to get on with their day.They decided on a day at the beach. Once Adam got Tommy situated under a large umbrella and a hat he sat in front of Tommy, freckles clearly on display. Tommy grinned at the sight, more than a little surprised to feel a jolt of lust at the sight. It seemed like years since he had actually been horny. He wanted to play connect the dots with the freckles with his tongue. He pondered that. Sophia had told him that when he truly had breakthroughs past the pain and fear and anger he would have desire again. He hadn’t truly believed her until right this minute though. 

Without warning, he leaned forward and kissed Adam gently and tenderly. Adam’s eyes widened when he pulled away. Adam just stared at him and Tommy started blushing. “What?” He finally asked, a little defensively.

“You haven’t initiated anything since the...well...since then. I thought I had lost you to be honest.” Adam admitted. Tommy nodded and looked down. Sophia had warned him that a heart to heart was coming. He took a deep breath and looked at the man he had loved for so long.

“I thought you had too.” He admitted softly. “I have loved you for so long but I couldn’t get past the anger and the pain. I never felt safe anymore, I was always looking for the nearest escape route. I still am if I am being honest; I don’t know that we can make it through this, Adam. I don’t mean to hurt you by saying that but I feel I have to be honest.” He licked his lips nervously. “I don’t know that we can but I do know that I want to try. For the first time since all that happened, I really am sure that I want to try this thing with us. I have loved you for years. The devil’s timing sucked ass but that shouldn’t change how I feel about you. I love you more than I ever imagined it was possible to love someone. I want to work our way back to that easiness that we had and that trust. I know it is going to take time and work but I need to know that you want this as much as I do.” 

Adam nodded frantically in response. “God, yes.” He breathed out. “Tommy, you are everything to me. You always have been. I want this to be fixed. I want things to be easier between us I’m just so terrified of turning the wrong way or touching you at the wrong time and having it trigger something. I feel guilty enough, if I triggered something in you I don’t know that I could handle that.”

“Babyboy, you are going to trigger things. You can’t live the rest of our lives walking on eggshells with each other. I’m not ready for…” His previously red blushing skin drained of color. “...sex...not yet anyway. But everything else we can work on and hopefully build our way back up to the sex too.” Tommy picked at his fingernails and looked out at the ocean, clearly deep in thought. “I am also thinking I need to do an interview. I need to tell what happened. Fans are going crazy with suspicions about me and you and what's going on. I would rather tell the truth and have it out there then to keep hiding.”

“I’ve been thinking that too.” Adam admitted. “I just didn’t want to push.” He hesitated. “I know we have avoided the subject but I also need to get back on the road. I have to finish this tour. I don’t want to leave you but I can’t destroy Queen and the fans this way.”

Tommy nodded. “I know. I think no matter what happens you should head back out this weekend. You do need to finish the tour. Maybe I can work on getting us hopefully settled into a new home and then come join you.” He looked down again. “Sophia said she would come too if I needed her to. I think I would need it.”

“Thats ok, kitty. She told me that the first time too. She has hit the road with others and I know I would feel a lot better having her there when you begin to panic being around a crowd.” Adam leaned back and closed his eyes, letting his skin soak in the sun and the warmth. “I would feel safer having her there too.” He looked over at Tommy. “You are the love of my life, Tommy Joe. No matter what happens, I will never regret giving it a try.” 

Tommy nodded solemnly but then gave the little evil grin he was so good at. “You haven’t gotten rid of me yet, Babyboy. I’m like a fungus. I just hang around. Plus, dude, you are buying a house for us. You might actually have to get a crowbar to remove me.” Adam gave a startled laugh and before long they were both laughing long and hard. 

They spent the next couple days in a flurry of activity. The offer on the house was accepted and the owners agreed to the expedited move. Tommy would be able to pick up the keys on Monday and begin moving them in. Adam trusted him with the details. They would hire movers and it would be fine. Tommy set up an interview with Ellen Degeneres to discuss what had happened to him. Adam didn’t like knowing that Tommy was going to be alone but then Sophia and Isaac stepped up to the plate and offered to accompany him to the interview in a couple weeks. Adam kissed Tommy nervously at the airport security area. 

“We are doing the right thing, right?” Adam asked. He was terrified if he left, something else would happen. Tommy smiled at him and touched his cheek gently. 

“We are doing exactly what we have to, babyboy. It will all work out. We will be in touch constantly. I have daily appointments with Sophia and Sutan agreed to help me shop for some new furniture. I pick up the house keys tomorrow. I meet the movers at your place on Tuesday. We already have the power, water, internet and cable switched over. It is all going to be just fine.” He grinned. “You just need to get your fabulous ass back on the road and wow your fans. Adam, the fans are everything to us. They made you. Don’t disappoint them. Once they see my interview, they will understand but you shouldn’t make them wait any more.”

“What if they don’t understand?” Adam asked, knowing a small segment of his fans had already been hostile to Tommy and took every opportunity they had to continue the trend. They called him names, they talked about him being a poser or just hanging on Adam’s coat tails. Some of Adam’s fans could truly be vicious. They were the ones Adam worried about. He didn’t want anyone else to have an opportunity to ever hurt Tommy Joe. The man had been through more than enough in his life. Adam nodded resolutely. “Fuck them. If they don’t get it, fuck them. I’ve got you. Make sure you have Isaac with you when you go to the old place. Just in case, ok baby?” Adam asked. Tommy nodded. “I will call you as soon as I land and as often as I can.”

“Babyboy, I won’t say I’m not scared. We both know I am scared shitless, but I can do this. We can do this. Just get on that plane and I’ll handle it here. Go be the rock star you were born to be.”

Adam grinned and kissed him one last time before heading through the security. He turned and waved at Tommy once he was on the other side and then he made his way to his plane. True to his word, he called Tommy as soon as he landed and found him playing video games with Isaac while Sutan had gone for food. He was relieved that his friends were taking care of his love.

Monday morning Tommy was excited to pick up the keys and lept out of bed to get ready. It was the first time he had been excited in forever...well since that day. The thought started to bring him down but instead he followed Sophia’s suggestions and called up his happy place memory. He calmed down and smiled again. 

He drove over to pick up Leila and Sutan. They would accompany him to the new house so they could see it in order to help him with decoration ideas and also just so that they could see it. When he pulled up at the gate, he punched in the code the realtor had given him. She had explained that there were sensors they could put in their glove box that would enable the gate to open when they approached but they would be on the kitchen counter. There would be instructions on how to reset the gate code which Tommy had every intention of doing that very night. 

They followed him into the house and he gave them a tour. It was bigger than he remembered but so peaceful. He felt at home here. That was the only way he could describe it. Everything from the heavy oak door to the open views of upstairs until you went into a bedroom just made him feel so safe and protected. He felt like nothing bad could ever happen to him in these walls. Leila looked around in surprise and then squeezed Tommy’s hand gently. “Not my sons usual taste but I understand why you both picked it. It's very peaceful.” She said.

Tommy nodded happily. “Adam went on about the chi of the place and how the flowing lines would help funnel his creativity and yada yada blah blah blah…” He made a face and Leila laughed. 

“Yes that sounds exactly like my son.” She pulled Tommy in for a hug. “I’m so happy you two found each other.” She whispered. “No one else will ever know him and understand him like you do.” She kissed his cheek and Tommy Joe looked at her adoringly.

“I love him. I tried not to but that Lambert blood means I have little choice.” He smiled. “I was in love with him from the beginning it just took me a awhile to admit it.” She smiled and nodded.

As they walked through the house they discussed various ideas for various rooms and came to agreements. Sutan even suggested a library area on one side of the balconies. Nice bookshelves and some comfy couches He showed them his ideal spot for exercise area out on the stone covered porch. He pictured some weights and machines out there overlooking the beautiful lawn. Tommy was in love with this house and it was evident. The three made plans to do some shopping.

As Tommy showed them the master bedroom, Leila stopped him. “Tommy…” she hesitated but he just patiently waited for her to continue. “Have you considered a new bed? A fresh start?” She had been thinking of it. After all, Adam had had that monster in the old bed. A new bed for them to relax them in their house. Tommy looked at her in surprise. He hadn’t even thought about it. It wasn’t a bad idea though. “You can always put the old bed in one of the other rooms, I just thought it might be a nice new beginning.”

Tommy grinned. “Would you help me find one this afternoon?” He asked and she at once smiled and nodded. “Thank you he said.” Finding a new bed with Leila and Isaac coming to bring dinner tonight and stay with him. He had the best life and the greatest friends and family anyone could ever ask for.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend comes to visit. Tommy sees how loved he is and he begins to face his demons.
> 
> I do not know or own any of them with the exception of the Therapist Sophia and satan spawn himself, Greg. I make no money from this and to the best of my knowledge this is complete fiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what happens when Vanessa gives me nicknames? You get another chapter. :) In all honesty, whether I have time or not my muse has gripped me hard so expect another chapter in the next couple days. Thank you all for your love and support.

Leila and Tommy went bed shopping and found a perfect king size bed that Tommy thought matched the house well. They arranged for the delivery and then Leila determined they should go ahead and buy a few things for the house. Sheets, blankets and pillows along with some towels other necessities. They wouldn’t know what else was needed until they went to Adam’s house the next day. Tommy was scared shitless if he were honest but he knew it needed to be done. He was so glad his friends weren’t letting him do this all alone. He had even tried to play off that he was fine and didn’t need company and Isaac had just sat silently on the phone before saying “Uh huh. Whatever you say. See you tomorrow anyway.” 

He was so ready to be in the house and it was killing him that he couldn’t stay there that night but there was no bed and no furniture yet so he resigned himself to at least one more night at the hotel. It would give him time to pack anyway. He had just started doing that when there was a knock at the door and he let in Isaac and Sophie (his wife, not the therapist). They had brought pizza, beer and some movies. Sophie hugged him gently and kissed his cheek before handing him pizza, beer and taking charge of sorting and packing Adam’s belongings first. Tommy got a bit emotional at one point, sure he didn’t deserve friends this amazing but just as he was going to excuse himself to the bathroom to get a handle on himself; Isaac pulled him in for one of his amazing hugs.

“You’ve seen the bottom, TJ. You have been there. There is only one direction to go, my man. Up.” Isaac said softly and Tommy smiled. 

When Adam called Tommy chattered on happily having already sent pics of the bed and the choices he had made they mostly just chit chatted on what had been happening and how his solo appointment had gone with Sophia. By the time the beer and pizza were dwindling, the three of them had the hotel room packed up and ready to go. Isaac looked at Tommy and Sophie and she nodded and kissed him. Tommy cocked an eyebrow.

“I’m staying with you tonight.” Isaac said without any fuss. “I know tomorrow is going to be hard and I figured you might have nightmares or be emotional and I didn’t want you to be alone for it.” Tommy grinned and playfully pulled Isaac into a headlock and rubbed his knuckles against Isaac’s scalp before letting go. He walked Sophie out. 

“Thank you for being so understanding.” Tommy said softly, looking down and shuffling his feet. “I know I am monopolizing your husband and I’m sorry…” A finger touching his lips stopped him cold and he looked up surprised.

“Thomas Joseph Ratliff, you are family. Isaac loves you like a brother. He would do anything for you. You have been through hell and back and it is such a small thing and honestly a pleasure to spend time with you and be there for you. I know you think you are being a burden but you aren’t. Even if you were, we would do this but trust me, you aren’t. We are just taking care of family honey.” She smiled and kissed his cheek and Tommy was again reminded how lucky Isaac had been to fall for such an amazing woman. He smiled at her and blinked back his tears. 

When he entered the room again, Isaac was sprawled out on the bed. He opened his arms in invitation and after a slight hesitation, Tommy crawled onto the bed and into his arms. They both pretended not to notice the hesitations in Tommy’s movements. Isaac just patiently waited. It took several minutes but finally Tommy relaxed in the gentle embrace. “So how excited are you about the house?” He asked Tommy.

Tommy grinned. “I love it. I can’t wait for you to see it. Leila and Sutan have all these ideas but I think I want to decorate it. Is that stupid? I want it to truly be ours.”

“That's not stupid at all. I think that's an awesome idea. I can’t wait to see this place. Adam says it is nothing like his usual style but it is exactly right for you as a couple.”

“I think it is. The outside has this natural stone mixed in and privacy and security. It just feels so safe there. I felt at home there the second I got there.”

“I’m happy for you.” Isaac responded and they sat quietly for a few minutes. “So how are things going with you and Adam?”

“Good….well kind of awkward.” Tommy admitted. “I love him, that hasn’t changed, I’m just so jumpy all the time and I don’t like to be touched as much as I used to and he so touchy feely all the time. I feel bad telling him no but at the same time I know he knows and understands. It is like I am constantly fighting with myself and my body over my reactions to things. I just want it to be as easy with him as it was before and Sophia says that might never happen. She says no matter how much we love each other, we might not be able to come back from this and that many couples don’t. It scares me. I don’t want to lose Adam. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.” The dam had finally broken and Tommy was talking. It felt relieving in a way getting all this out.

“I get that.” Isaac answered. “It would be hard I would imagine. Is it more the memory of what was done making you uncomfortable with physical affection or is it more the anger leading to not wanting to be touched?”

“A little of both, I think.” Tommy answered honestly. “It pisses me off that I had just finally gotten to where I wanted to be with Adam and then Satan had to go and fuck things up.”

“Satan?” Isaac asked with a cocked eyebrow. 

“I can’t….I can’t say his name yet.” Isaac just nodded and let Tommy continue at his own pace. “I want to be the same old me. I want to be fun loving and enjoy life again. Sophia says it will come when I don’t expect it. I will just be having fun with friends and realize I haven’t been scared or had any panic attacks in several days. Do you think that's true?”

“She is the expert but it sounds right. It's the same way with grief.”

Tommy nodded and thought for awhile. Isaac just waited. He knew how much they had all been waiting for the dam to break and he was so glad that he was here for it. That Tommy trusted him enough to let go of his control. He gently rubbed Tommy’s back. “I’m angry at Adam. I know I shouldn’t be and I know he can’t help what happened but he let Satan in. Why? Adam is notoriously friendly but not very trusting of newcomers but this guy sure come on in. You have access to me and while we are at well hey, here’s Tommy too. Do your worst.” His voice broke and he cried gulping, sobbing tears. Isaac just held him and gently rubbed his back and let him get it out. “I have such extreme swings. Sometimes I just want to grab Adam and kiss him senseless and beg him to make love to me again and then other times I can’t stand the sight of him and his touch makes my skin crawl. Not just him either but all men. Of course since he is the only man I am with in that way it doesn’t show as much with anyone else.” He took a shuddering breath and regained control. 

“Do you think that this was all fate? I know Adam believes in God and has said that everything happens for a reason...well he hasn’t said it about this but he has said it in the past. Do you think this happened for a reason? Was this God’s plan? I mean if so God is fucked up, you know?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I don’t think God ever intends any of us to be hurt. That is man exercising his free will. Mankind are brutal creatures and they for some reason enjoy hurting one another. With that said, I don’t think this was part of God’s plan no. But it is possible that down the road when you look back you will see it served a purpose. Maybe you are meant to help someone and this experience will help you do that. Maybe your purpose is to be with Adam and this is a speed bump but not a wall. Only you can really answer that and I think you won’t really have an answer for several years.” 

Tommy nodded against his chest. Isaac was always good at explaining the religious side of things to Tommy. Others used his questions to try to convert him. Isaac had always accepted that Tommy was atheist and just answered the way he saw things. It helped Tommy find perspective.

“Tommy…” Isaac said softly. “I know you are angry at Adam. I know you don’t necessarily want to be but you are and that is natural in the situation I think. With that said, I do want to make it clear that he was in hell those couple of days. I don’t know if you really even want to hear this and I understand if you don’t but I feel like you need to know that he knew something was wrong almost from the minute you were taken. He was going crazy needing to be here, needing to find you, needing to rescue you but at the same time wanting you found yesterday. You know? I just want to make sure you know that Adam is burning right alongside you.”

Tommy nodded slowly and Isaac let the subject drop knowing that he had said what needed to be said. They talked some more and Tommy went further into detail about what had been done to him, his fears and his hopes. Isaac just listened and supported. He knew Tommy hadn’t told anyone some of these things. Greg had forced Tommy to listen to Adam’s voicemails. He had raped Tommy to Adam’s soundtrack so now Adam’s voice and giggle were tied to that violent act. It was incredibly hard to listen to but Isaac forced himself knowing that Tommy needed to tell someone. Late in the night, Tommy finally drifted off to sleep. 

The next morning Tommy’s eyes were red rimmed and his face tense as they turned onto the street in front of Adam’s old place. Tommy gripped the armrest hard and fought down his panic. When they pulled up Tommy realized there were far too many cars here. The moving company wasn’t scheduled for another couple hours. He looked at the cars and the people milling around and realized everyone had come for him. He stared in awe at the support. Sophia, Sophie, Monte, Sutan, LP, Leila, Ashley, Liz and even SAULI had come. 

The finn hugged him gently when he got out of the car. “Adam sends me to help his love. He sends me with this for you…” The tiny blond Finn gently gripped his cheeks and kissed him softly. “Adam is wanting you to be safe. He asked for one or two people to be here with you but we all came. We are all Team Tommy, yes?” Saulil gave a beautiful grin and Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I have missed you, Sauli.” He smiled. 

“And I you, my brother. Come, pictures to make Adam-ya jealous.” and with a wink he snapped a selfie of them and sent it to Adam. Sauli linked arms with him and took him around so everyone could hug him. Tommy had never felt so loved and cared for. That feeling only got more so when a van delivered a dozen long-stemmed red roses to Tommy. 

\--I’m sorry I could not be there with you but I wanted to make sure you weren’t alone and that you just got a tiny glimpse of how loved you are. I love you with all of my heart. A.--

Everyone divided up and took various rooms and began packing things. Tommy went through and decided what was trash and what was not. He saved the kitchen for last. When he stepped hesitantly into the kitchen he saw where everything had happened but he was surrounded by so much love and acceptance, it couldn’t touch him. He sighed in relief. By the time the moving company arrived, everything was well in hand. He pulled Sauli, Isaac and Sophia away. “Can you guys go with me somewhere?” He asked nervously.

“Of course TJ. Where?” Isaac answered. Sophia just gave a supportive nod. She had a feeling she knew where. Sauli just nodded with a smile. 

“To the warehouse.” He said in a shaky voice before pulling himself up and standing taller. “I have to confront that place and that evil but I can’t do it alone.”

Isaac really didn’t want to say yes, he didn’t know if this was a good idea but he saw Sophia the therapist give a slight nod and he knew that both Adam and Tommy trusted her. He took a deep breath. “Ok, TJ. If you want we will go. They can finish up here if you are sure.” Tommy nodded and headed out to Isaac’s car. 

Sauli grabbed Sophia on the arm. “The warehouse is where it happened, yes?” he asked. “Is this the best thing for him to do? Should Adam-ya be here for this?” He was obviously very concerned for his friend. 

Sophia smiled at Sauli. “It is exactly what he needs to do and I think he needs Adam to NOT be here so that Tommy can see for himself that he is a survivor not a victim for Adam to save. I have warned Adam it would come at some point. It will be ok, Sauli. But your worry for your friend is very touching.” Sauli nodded, not really convinced but followed them to the car. He was not looking forward to this at all.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy visits the site of all his pain and he makes an important decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear wonderful readers. I have missed you all. Some of you are aware that I have been having some very painful health issues for the last few months that make it difficult to let go and be creative. I'm very and deeply sorry for the delays that is causing. 
> 
> This is completely fiction and as far as I know has no bearing in reality. I do not know or own any of the characters beyond Greg and Sophia who are of my own creation. I make no money from this and write purely for the joy of writing. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Vanessa. You are the reason for this. Your support and friendship mean far more to me than you will ever know. Hearing from my readers is always important and means the world to me and pushes me to write but you have gone so far beyond fan and have merged deeply into friend. Thank you my friend.

When they pulled up in front of the warehouse, all eyes turned to the blond in the back. Tommy was shaking so bad his whole body was trembling and his teeth were chattering. Sauli gently took his hand. Isaac turned in the seat. “TJ, we don't have to do this.” he said, almost pleading. Tommy just looked at him. 

“Yeah. I do.” He finally said, his voice showing more steel than his body had. He got out of the car and looked up at the building. He hadn’t really seen it from the outside. He had been unconscious when he had arrived and when he had left, he had been the same. His knees shaking he looked at Isaak. “Is this where you waited?”

“Yeah.” Isaak answered, leaning against the car. “We waited here. Paramedics were parked there…” he pointed, “and police there, there and there.” He pointed at each area to indicate where cars had been parked. “It feels different now.” He said noting the presence of a few homeless people. “They weren’t here before and there was this feeling of evil.”

Tommy nodded. He could almost feel the fear associated with the place but he didn’t feel any particular badness coming from the building, only the memory of it. Moving slowly and hesitantly but feeling the love and support from the people around him he moved toward the building. 

It took Tommy several minutes to gather the courage to open the door but his companions just waited patiently each with a hand on his back. He finally drew a deep breath and with a shaking hand, he opened the door. The inside was cavernous but there was a staircase leading up to more sectioned offices. He looked to Isaak who continued telling him about that day. 

Isaak started further back explaining how they had even found this place to begin with. He related his conversations with Adam and with the police. He described the standoff that happened with police and the evil that had held Tommy. 

The open downstairs had obviously been an industrial factory of some kind and while there were machines and things, it was all open. Tommy headed up the stairs. This had obviously been the offices of the bosses. The furniture was gone, carpet long since removed leaving the stubbly cement he remembered. Tommy allowed his feelings to guide him and then he froze as he came to a bathroom. They looked and could see brown stains on the floor in the shape of footprints. 

Tommy's breath came out in a soft whine. His feet ached at the memory. He moved to the room adjacent and stood in the doorway, looking at the filthy mattress that was on the bed and a wooden chair that was on its side. “This is where he held me.” He said softly. I woke up in that chair and it was dark out. He haltingly began telling his side of the story. His voice stayed soft but was shaking with emotion. 

Sophia nodded encouragingly from time to time and when he would freeze and stumble to a stop, she would quietly remind him that he wasn't a victim anymore and he had survived this. The monster was in jail and he was safe. He continued through every single memory he had before finally quieting. 

His shaking had stopped and he stood a bit taller. Though Tommy would never be comfortable here, it was only a memory now. He realized the place had kept the memory alive for him somehow and Sophia had been right. When he had faced his fear, it no longer held the power that it once had. He sighed with relief. “I'm ok.” He told them. His voice stronger than it had been and they could tell he meant it. “I should start a victims group or something right here. Transform this building from a place of hate and fear to one of love and support.” He said and Isaak smiled warmly. 

“That is an amazing idea and if you ever decide to do it, I will help you.” He promised. 

“Veli, that is a great idea. I think Adam-ya would love it too.” Sauli added.

Tommy's expression turned nervous and he bit at his thumb in thoughtfulness. “I love Adam. I always have. Every since I met him, I have been drawn to him and I have wanted him. I feel like Satan turned me away from Adam by using his voice and history as part of the torture so I have kept myself away from Adam but that really isn't fair to him. Adam would never hurt me and I know that. I've always known that.”

Sophia smiled. “No he wouldn't but your feelings are very understandable. What was done to you, especially using Adam in part to do it caused some unintentional fracturing of the innate trust and love between you too. That it came just as you two had finally found your way together made it even more pronounced. I told you from the beginning you may not find your way back to Adam but it sounds like you are ready to try.”

Tommy Joe smiled and nodded. “I miss his hands. I miss the way he would touch me like he couldn't get enough or didn't want me to go too far. I miss the way his lips curve with a real smile and the way his eyes sparkle when he is really happy. I miss the carefree laugh. I miss the way he would hold me at night. Before we were even a couple I spent countless nights sleeping in his arms.” a laugh broke free as he looked at Sauli, “I used to wait for you to kick my ass.” 

Sauli laughed too. “Veli, I wouldn't have. You were a….how do you say? Together deal?”

“Package deal.” Sophia filled in and Sauli nodded. “Veli, what does that mean?”

“It means…” Tommy started to answer and then stopped. “I don't know. Sauli has always called me that. He laughed. “What does it mean.”

“It means brother.” Sauli grinned. Tommy laughed and hugged him. Then feeling how good it felt to randomly hug, he did it with Isaak and Sophia as well. 

“Let's get out of here.” Tommy finally said, feeling lighter that he had since before he had traveled to hell. “I think I am ready for that interview now. And I definitely need some phone time with Adam.” He led the way out of the warehouse and immediately placed the call to Adam. “Can we get some tacos? I'm hungry for a change.” He asked the others while waiting for the call to connect.

Adam picked up quickly. “Tommy? You ok.” He asked in a worried voice and Tommy realized how much he had been avoiding calling Adam lately.

“I love you.” Tommy blurted out. There was silence for a heartbeat and then Adam’s throaty chuckle. 

“I love you too, Kitty.”

“Tell me how things are going.” Tommy settled back in the seat and closed his eyes and let the sound of Adams voice wash over him. He listened to all the usual road stories with a smile on his face. Adam heard him order his food.

“Tacos?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Tommy answered with a laugh. “I'm fucking starving.” He paused. “I went there.” He said softly.

“I know.” Adam answered. “It seems to have helped.” He added hesitantly. “Did it?”

Tommy was quiet as he thought it though. “I think so. Isaac, Sauli and Sophia came with me. I told them everything.” His feeling started bubbling out. “I've been so angry but it's been all locked up inside because I didn't want to feel it. It was stupid but I thought it would hurt if I felt it so I kept it locked down. But because there was all this anger and fear, there wasn't room for anything else. Once I let it all out, I realized that I have been pushing you away. I didn't mean to and I don't want to. I love you, baby boy. Always have; always will. I want us to work. I know I have some issues now that will take some crap to work through but I didn't realize until today how much I still want this with you.” 

Tommy could hear Adams breath catch at his words and a small sob came out. Tommy just waited, understanding what was going on. “Baby, I'm so glad to hear that.” Adam finally said, a smile evident in his voice. “I would have supported whatever decision you made but I was terrified I was losing you and there was nothing I could do about it. You mean everything to me.”

Tommy grinned. “I know I'm fabulous and all.” Tommy teased and Adam chuckled. Seriously though. My interview is coming up and then we can decide together if I should stay home or come join you for a bit. I miss your touch.”

“I love hearing that.” Adam said in a husky voice.   
They finished their conversation and Tommy relaxed and truly enjoyed himself and his dinner companions for the first time since the incident. He had a spring in his step and a sparkle in his eye that hadn't been there for awhile. 

“I have a feeling I am seeing the Tommy Joe smartass I hadn't met yet.” Sophia teased. Tommy just stuck out his tongue.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life slowly returning to normal and some sexy conversation. Also the interview.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well look at me being all productive and shit. lol. Thank you all for the wonderful comments, they fueled this chapter. This chapter is double my normal chapters because when I got to the end of the first part, I felt since it was mostly dialogue, not as much was actually said. I didn't want to cheat my amazing readers so I went ahead and combined this and the next chapter so that the interview appears in this one instead of a separate. You can also thank Vanessa for that because when I asked her opinion she basically said (and I paraphrase) "Duh, more is never going to be a bad choice."
> 
> I do not know or own the boys or Ellen. To the best of my knowledge this is all just my twisted imagination at work. I make no money from this and I write just because I love to write. Don't steal my shit, yo. Wow, I really just went there, didn't I? Ok before I morph into someone else entirely, lets get to it!
> 
> Chapter 30:

Tommy spent the next week organizing and decorating the house. He made so many trips to Target that the staff began greeting him by name when he came in. He also began enjoying exercise again. He wasn’t ready to run through the neighborhood but he was happy on the covered balcony to run on the treadmill overlooking the front gate. Since the property backed up to a cliff, the front entrance really was the only way to access the property. Tommy could feel totally safe plugging in his iphone and jogging to music and know that he would see anyone coming. 

He fought off his panic attacks by working out. It was hard and from time to time they still floored him but those were less and less frequent. He didn’t even notice that his friends were around him in lessening degrees. By unspoken agreement, they slowly lessened their time with him to help him regain his self reliance. Sauli came by every night and they ate dinner together and he joined Tommy on his frequent shopping trips, but Tommy was left to unpack the house by himself. When he finally did notice their absence; he was surprised to find it peaceful to be alone. 

He jogged and wiped a bit of sweat away. Today he was doing laundry and organizing the closets. Every single day this place felt more and more like home. He loved this house and he loved how he felt in this house. He glanced up at the rain that fell just a few feet from him. The breeze flowed through the area and he inhaled the smell of the rain and grass and the slight ozone scent that storms brought with them and he smiled. He sped up and did a burst of flat out run for two miles before slowing back to a jog and finally beginning his cool down. 

Exhausted from the run but feeling like the Tommy of old he dried off before stepping in the shower. He let the hot water do its job of loosening his overworked muscles and relaxing him. He braced his hands on the wall and let the water beat down on the back of his neck and over his back. He imagined how it was going to be when Adam came home. This shower was definitely big enough for two. He licked his lips at the thought of a naked Adam in here with him. Adam was so big, he was big in personality but his presence was big too. It always made Tommy feel so safe. Adam was a marshmallow with his friends and family but let someone hurt someone he cared about and then that size suddenly made itself known and the person on the other end usually didn’t fare so well. Tommy grinned and got out, drying himself on a fresh towel. 

He grabbed the a tee shirt and pair of jeans from the first batch of clothes he had washed and got dressed. He dried his hair and took some time to line his eyes and put on some gloss. It was almost time for a skype date with Adam. He couldn’t wait. He passed the next few minutes hanging up and putting away clothes. His on one side of the enormous closet and Adam’s on the other. He lost track of time as he worked and was startled when he heard his skype alert go off. He dove for the bed and clicked to accept the call. 

“Glitterbaby.” Adam greeted him with warmth in his tone. The old nickname didn’t make him flinch this time and he just grinned.   
“Babyboy. I was just thinking of you. I just took a long hot shower and got to thinking about the water running over your freckles.” 

Adam let out a throaty moan at the words. “Oh man, baby.” He said in a husky voice. “What would you do with me?”

“I would play connect the dots….” He gave an evil grin. “With my tongue.”

“Fuck, Kitty.” Adam moaned.

“Soon.” Tommy promised. “Soon I want to taste you again and feel you. I dream of it all the time now. I want to feel you against me moving so sweetly, building up our pleasure before we both explode in need.”

“What in the hell brought this on?” Adam moaned, “and how can I get this more often?”

“Just woke up in an awesome mood and missing you a lot.” He reached down and adjusted his sudden problem. “I want to feel your hot, hard, heaviness against my hip. I want to feel your mouth and tongue.” Tommy popped the button on his jeans and slid his hand down into his briefs. He let out a moan as he touched himself. 

Adam heard the moan and his nostrils flared. “Are you touching yourself, kitty?” He asked huskily. 

“Nu uh.” Tommy teased. “You are.” He bit his lip as he squeezed the tip gently. He heard fumbling as Adam quickly moved to do the same. 

They came quickly and together, each calling out the others name. Panting they each lay on their bed, around the world from their lover and they listened to the breathing. “Thank you, Kitty.” Adam said softly. “I needed that.”

“So did I.” Tommy laughed. 

Calming down, Adam looked at the love of his life on the screen in front of him. “So today you are working on the closets, right?” He wanted to know everything Tommy was doing and hear every detail so he didn’t feel so far away.

“Right. I’m doing laundry and putting it all away. I finished the kitchen yesterday. It looks great. Your mom brought over dinner last night and we ate the first meal on our dining table. It was really nice. Sauli was here too. I think he is going home soon, but it has been really nice having him around. A few days ago, Sutan invaded and organized the library saying he had seen it in his head and it had to be just so...you know how he is.”

Adam laughed knowing exactly what Tommy meant. “It sounds like you are in great hands.”

“I am.” Tommy smiled. “Sophia and I sat and watched some old concerts and videos of ours. It was hard listening to your songs but watching the videos helped a lot because it brought up great memories instead of the one bad one.”

Adam had been filled in by everyone so he knew exactly what Tommy meant. Satan making Tommy listen to Adam while being raped and brutalized. It had to fuck with Tommy’s head to equate Adam’s voice with that violent act. He had worried more about that fact then he had about all the rest. “That's wonderful. We have so many great memories on tour together. So many really hot times.”

“Amsterdam?” Tommy asked with a grin.

“Well, yes that one is always in the top but actually London is my favorite.”

“Really?” Tommy asked in surprise. “Why?”

“Because you initiated the kiss that night. I played a video of that on repeat for months. That was the hottest thing. I didn’t know then that you might feel the same but I allowed that moment to fuel my fantasies that I might end up with you.”

Tommy laughed. “You had just grabbed my junk onstage.”

“I was going for the guitar…” Adam defended with a grin.

“Sureeee.. Thats why you went right under it.” he laughed. 

“Was that really why?” Adam asked curiously.

Tommy hesitated for a moment. “No. That wasn’t really the reason. You had met Sauli and I could feel you slipping away even though you weren’t dating him yet. He had called you earlier that day and when you talked to him, I could hear it in your voice that he might be more than a fling. I wanted to remind you that it was me you were attracted to.” He ended the sentence softly and his voice showed the shame he felt. He had been in love with Adam already but he hadn’t actually realized it. He just felt incredibly possessive. 

Adam grew quiet too. “Kitty, I won’t lie, I was falling for him by then. However there has never been anyone for me like you. We both just had to find our way to US if that makes sense.”

“It does.” Tommy responded. “I like us.”

“I do too.” He cleared his throat. “So are you really coming out to meet me soon?” He asked hopefully.

“Yeah.” Tommy responded. He heard the hopeful and yet fearful tone in Adam’s voice and would do just about anything to keep it from being there again. “I don’t know how I will do around crowds but I’m almost ready to try. Besides you are worth it and it isn’t like I haven’t always hated crowds. Hopefully after my interview people will be a bit kinder or more understanding to my skittishness.

“One can hope…” Adam said and then looked away from the camera for a minute “Already?” He asked and nodded. With a sigh he turned back to Tommy. “I’m so sorry baby, but I have to go. It's time for the meet and greet with the fans….I wish I could stay right here.”

“I know, rock star, but you have a job to do.” Tommy said affectionately. “Go get em, tiger.”

“I love you, Tommy Joe.” Adam said seriously.

“I love you too, Adam.” Tommy said with a soft smile and kissed his fingers and touched the camera. He watched Adam repeat the gesture before the screen went black. Slightly let down that they never seemed to have enough time, but happy at the way their conversation had gone, Tommy went back to work. His mood was a bit more somber than before but he felt at peace and happy.

Days passed and Tommy continued to grow more confident and felt ready to unlock the future. Then the night before his interview, he had the worst panic attack he had had. By stroke of luck, Sauli buzzed at the gate just then and Tommy buzzed him in, unable to speak. 

Sauli found him curled in a ball on the kitchen floor. He wordlessly handed Tommy a dose of anxiety medicine that sat on the counter and settled his lithe and toned body next to Tommy; talking meaninglessly about anything and everything and touching and gently rubbing Tommy’s hair while Tommy worked through the attack. Sauli handled it as if he knew exactly what to do. It amazed Tommy. 

“It is ok, Veli, it will be ok. I am here with you.” Sauli said softly. “You are safe and loved.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Tommy was able to get his breathing back under his own control. He looked at Sauli and then looked down in shame. He could smell the sweat and fear he had given off and his muscles were tight and shaking. He felt Sauli gently touch his chin. “Veli, you have nothing to be ashamed of.” Sauli said softly.

Tears of frustration fell from Tommy’s eyes. “Everytime I think I am truly getting past it then I have a set back.”

“It will happen, Tommy. You are better than you were a week ago, or a month ago. Weaker moments happen., Veli, that doesn’t mean you aren’t getting better, yes? We all have setbacks in our lives. We don’t stop fighting or moving onward.”

Tommy wiped his eyes and looked wearily at Sauli. “Thank you.”

“It is being my pleasure, Veli.” Sauli said with a grin. 

“What are you doing here?” Tommy asked.

“I ordered us pizza and figured you would show me another John Wayne movie and I will sleep here and go with you to your interview tomorrow. I have arranged everything.”

Tommy looked at him suspiciously. “Did you get a good pizza or a Sauli cauliflower crust with tempeh, organic spinach and capers with non dairy cheese kind of pizza?” He frowned showing his disgust at the last option. 

Sauli just laughed. “For you, Veli, I will eat real pizza with pepperoni.”

“Extra cheese?” Tommy hinted.

“Yes, even extra greasy cheese.” Sauli answered and for once didn’t make a face. 

“Thanks Sauli.” Tommy said and went to go clean up.

 

“Welcome to the show! How is everyone doing?” She paused for the cheers. “Listen, today we are going to have a slightly more serious tone. I have a special guest who has been through a major ordeal and is finally ready to talk about it. We are going to show him lots of love and support. Now, from right down the road, you know him as Adam Lambert’s bassist/guitarist, some know him as Adam’s friend and even more know him as Adam’s boyfriend. Please welcome, my friend Tommy Joe Ratliff!” Ellen announced and the lights and camera swung to the entrance where a very pale Tommy was walking out. He waved at a couple fans but it was obvious he was pretty uptight. 

“Hi Tommy.” Ellen Degeneres said softly, “come have a seat.” Tommy hugged her and nodded, moving to take his place. Ellen turned to face the crowd. “Tommy has been through quite a lot lately and he is going to tell us about it but if we could please allow him the courtesy of some quiet while he talks, ok?” The audience nodded and she nodded. “Now before we get started, know that Tommy and I chatted earlier today and he has shared this story with me. He decided what parts of his story he is going to share today but I need to warn you that this is going to be very hard to listen to. There are going to be some violence and triggers revealed so I highly recommend that you view with caution and make sure that all children are out of the room.” She turned back to Tommy and gave him a smile. “We also have a special surprise for Tommy.” She turned to the screen and Adam appeared. 

“Hey, Ellen.” Adam’s smooth voice greeted. “Hey, Kitty.” He added softly. 

Tommy’s eyes drank in Adam and misted with tears. “Hey, Babyboy.” He said softly. 

“I wanted to be there for you, Tommy but of course I can’t so I asked Ellen for this. I hope it helps.”

“Thank you.” Tommy said a bit choked up at the gesture. Adam smiled as if he understood. 

“Well Tommy, you have had a rough couple months. Why don’t you tell us about it, whatever you want to share.”

Tommy started off slowly and began with how he and Adam had been hanging out and watching movies the first time he met Greg. He didn’t mention that he had been staying with Adam to sober up at that time but he didn’t lie either. He mentioned each time he had seen Greg leading up to the big reveal. He explained how Isaac had begun to get suspicious. Even though he and Adam had in some ways told their story of the phone cloning previously, Tommy touched on it briefly. “All that led up to the worst day of my life.” He took a deep breath. 

“I love you, Tommy Joe.” Adam said softly and Tommy’s eyes slid open again looking at Adam’s face on the screen. A weak smile crossed his lips. Ellen patted his hand reassuringly. Tommy took a sip of the water in front of him and looking down he began telling about how he had been house sitting for Adam while he was on tour and their romance was still in the initial stages and he was looking forward to a skype date with Adam. He described getting there and getting a drink first and then waking up in the warehouse. 

The audience gasped. “He held me for a few days in that warehouse. He had gone crazy with jealousy and we found out later this wasn’t the first time he had done something like this. He liked to play mind games with me. He liked to make me think I could escape only to realize I was trapped. He was so angry that Adam had broken up with him and he saw it as my fault. He liked causing pain. He especially liked causing me pain.”

Ellen held his hand gently and turned to the screen Adam filled to give Tommy a break. “Adam, how long was it before you found out?”

“Ellen, when Tommy missed our Skype date I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know what and I couldn’t prove anything. Pretty quickly I sent a friend to my house to check on Tommy and he found the fridge open, the house unlocked and blood on the floor. I started freaking out then.”  
“I understand you were there when Tommy was rescued?” 

“Yes, I got home as fast as I could and when I landed, our friends told me that police were responding to the location and I raced there. I got to the warehouse just before Tommy was brought out.”

“We have some pictures of Tommy in the hospital. Is it ok for me to show them?” Ellen asked. Tommy nodded and two pictures of Tommy’s broken and bloody body in a hospital bed temporarily took the place of Adam’s face. “That had to have been a nightmare for you both. Tommy what were the injuries you sustained?”

“A gunshot wound, several stabs and cuts, my feet had been beaten, I had a broken jaw, a broken hand and I had….” He took a deep breath. “I had been raped.” The audience gasped loudly. 

“I imagine you have been left with some anxiety over all this.” Ellen said kindly.

“Yes, I have a problem with crowds and I have a problem with people moving unexpectedly. I have been working with a wonderful therapist,” He turned to the audience and waved at Sophia who waved back. “I'm healing but it takes time.”

“It does take time. Thank you both for being here and being willing to share a little piece of yourselves. I know this has been incredibly hard on both of you. Now for happier news, I understand you two have found your dream house.”

Tommy smiled and Adam laughed. “Yes we have. Tommy has full decoration detail so I fully expect to come home to horror movie sets everywhere.” He teased lightly and Tommy stuck out his tongue. 

“Just for that I will.” Tommy joked and pretended he was pouting. It wasn’t true emotion but it did help them both to start to shake off the somber memories and get back to a happier place.

“Thank you, Ellen.” Adam said again. “Glitterbaby, I love you so much. I wish I could be there with you right now.” Tommy was proud that he didn’t flinch at the nickname.

“I love you too, Babyboy. Always.” Tommy gave a soft smile to Adam. 

Ellen closed out the show and then sat for a few just quietly talking to Tommy. She told him she found him brave. She called him a role model. She said a lot of things that Tommy didn’t really believe but they were nice to hear. Sophia made her way to the stage and gently hugged Tommy. 

“You did great, TJ. I’m proud of you.” She said with a fond look. “I think you may be ready to go visit Adam. I think you two need some alone time.” 

“I think they should take a long relaxing vacation, just the two of them when Adam gets home.” Ellen suggested with a laugh. Tommy smiled but he was imagining having Adam all to himself somewhere tropical where he could enjoy Adam in swim trunks, or maybe snowed in in a small cabin where they could keep each other warm. His eyes sparkled as he daydreamed.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy hermits himself and settles into his comfort zone. He also checks his mail and realizes fans have a lot of thoughts about the Ellen interview. 
> 
> I do not know or own any characters besides the aformentioned ones. (Special circumstances and credit mentioned in the notes momentarily) To the best of my knowledge this is all fiction and fantasy from my head. I make no money from this and I have no money so please don't sue me. Lastly, if you like what I write please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many loyal fans and I first off just want to thank you. I wouldn't keep writing without you guys. You have no idea how much every single comment means to me. I read them all, I love them all and they all push me to write, better, faster (sometimes) and longer. If my story here has touched you, great! Your comments have touched me. I wanted to address a few things and say a few things real quick.
> 
> 1\. No this story is not over. I have had some questions from readers passed to me through readers that I know. I promise I will end every story with the words the end so you will always know when it is over. 
> 
> 2\. No matter how long it takes for me to update, I never abandon a story. Ever. If you want an update or you think I am taking too long, send me a message. It will likely kick start me writing because I hate to disappoint. :)
> 
> 3\. As I began writing this chapter I started thinking of what fans would have to say about Tommy's interview. I reached out to a friend of mine, who btw became a friend just by being a reader and emailing me about my story. (Thanks Vanessa!) She has become a trusted sounding board. I wanted to hear what Tommy's fans would say but I can only filter through my ears so through Vanessa, a few of my readers sent letters and ideas to Tommy. SO with that said. Credit for their individual ideas and letters go to Jessie, Vanessa and Eugene and I thank them for their contributions to this story. If anyone else would like to send a "letter" to Tommy (or any of the other characters) please feel free to send them to eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com. While I cannot promise to include them in the story, if they touch me and they fit in well, I will include them and give credit.
> 
> 4\. lastly, if you have questions or comments please feel free to reach out. I don't bite...much. :) Love you guys and love Adommy. Now lets get back to the story.
> 
> Chapter 31

The house was finally fully organized and moved in. Tommy had bought all the furniture they needed and had even hung the paintings. This was truly their house. He was surprised when fedex delivered a package but upon opening it, he had to fight back tears. He immediately sent Adam a text calling him a sentimental asshole and then saying he loved it and him. 

This was a huge painting made of smaller pictures of the two of them making a beautiful collage. It had at least one picture for every year and most of them were offstage shots. Shots of them being affectionate for real and not for stage. Some of them had never been shown to the public. 

The center picture was Tommy's favorite and he knew that was why Adam had put it in the middle. Adam was sitting leaned back on a couch in blue jeans and a light grey t shirt no shoes and a serious expression. Tommy was curled into his side with a blue hoodie and black skinny jeans caught mid laugh. Adam had his arm around Tommy playing with the blondes hair and Tommy had his hand clenching Adams shirt at the chest while he laughed. Each of them looking off camera in a different direction having a different conversation and yet, still intimately touching. Adam had been talking to the set director and Tommy had been laughing with Terrance.

His phone buzzed and he looked at it. ~I knew you were trying to find something to go over the fireplace and I thought what better than us. I'm glad you like it. I love you.~ Adam had ordered the picture before they had even moved out of his old place, before any of this had happened; now he couldn't be happier at the timing.

~Fucker~ was all Tommy sent back but when Adam got the response, he just smiled. He knew that type of response only meant that he had hit his lover right in the feels. Tommy pretended to be all hard rocker and shit but he could be every bit as emotional as Adam. He just hid behind curses. 

Tommy found his days and nights starting to grow monotonous. He usually worked out in the morning then went for a swim. In the afternoons he had resumed his music writing. He stayed away from all social media though. He wasn't ready. 

Sophia had suggested he take lessons of his own in something. After giving it some thought, Tommy set up some cooking lessons with a well revered chef who was willing to come to the house. He was worried how he would feel with a stranger here but it went fine. He had never been the most wonderful cook but he was learning how relaxing it was to sip a glass of wine while pounding chicken breasts flat and making a lemon butter caper sauce to pour over a pan seared chicken breast and served over a green salad. And he loved getting to eat his lesson at the end. 

Sauli had left the day after Ellen but kept in touch via text. Tommy truly began to enjoy a simple and quiet life again. He found pleasure in small things and forgot about the world for awhile, content to hermit himself. That lasted until Sophia convinced him to check his fan mail.   
Tommy drug his feet going to the post office, really not wanting to break the fragile peace he had gained and was shocked when the men called him over to the counter. Instead of a few things inside his PO box, they had a couple of huge bags of mail.

“Are you sure this is for me?” He asked in confusion but when he looked they all appeared to be for him. “um...ok.” He looked at the two bags in wonder. “I’ll just uh, I'll dump these in the trunk and bring the bags back.” He had no clue what to do with all this. He trudged the first bag out and dumped it seeing a couple packages that looked to contain stuffed animals but mostly letters. He came back and did the same for the second bag. He started to leave and then thought for a second. He came back and wrote his phone number down before scratching it out and putting an email address instead. “If I get more like that just shoot me a message and I'll come get it when I fill a bag.” He didn't expect it to happen again but hell, he hadn't expected it now either.

He started to headed home and left a message for Sophia telling her how scared he was about opening all this. He went inside and had a beer before he grabbed a couple dufflebags and headed out to the car. He didn't look as he shoved as much as he could get into the bags and carried them in and to the dining room before repeating the process two more times before he had it all in. 

Tommy spent the rest of the morning nervously glancing over at the mail piled on the table but unable to bring himself to open it. He found himself wandering into the room every so often for no reason at all and just staring at the mounds of mail. He decided to call Isaac instead and see if he wanted to go to a bar for lunch.. Luckily he did. 

They met a couple hours later at a local bar with decent food and Tommy ordered them a couple beers. They talked and caught up on life though his interview was not mentioned and for an unknown reason, he also didn't mention the mail. They passed the time pleasantly and ordered some juicy cheeseburgers to soak up the beers. Pleasantly buzzing Tommy paid their check and slung his arm around Isaac who was a bit worse for wear. 

“Can't drive.” Isaac slurred. 

“I think I can but the fact that I said think tells me I shouldn't.” Tommy said with a laugh. “How about we Uber home and you crash at my place tonight. We can come back for the cars tomorrow. Plus we can get a couple more beers and watch a movie and maybe order a pizza for dinner or I can cook.”

“Sounds like a plan little man. Sophie can pick me up in the morning and take us to get our cars.” 

Tommy nodded and put their plans in motion. Their ride home was full of laughter. Tommy let them in and threw himself on one of the recliners in the movie room. Isaac stumbled to grab a beer for them but he was gone awhile. Finally Tommy got up and came after him. He found Isaac touching the piles of letters. He looked up and saw Tommy standing there.

“Dude. What is all this?” Isaac asked with all traces of alcohol gone. Tommy just shrugged.

“I haven't opened them yet so I don't know.”

“None of them? You haven't even opened one?”

Tommy fidgeted with the hem of his shirt in nervousness. “I just got them today.” he said a tad defensively. “I didnt….i didn't know what to do with them. I wasn't ready.” Isaac just looked at him sadly. “What?” Tommy snapped. 

“I just keep waiting for you to be that bad ass motherfucker I became friends with.” he said softly. “I know he is still in there but you are only giving fear room instead of letting him out. Just open a couple. Come on, TJ.”

Tommy sat heavily in the seat and hesitantly pulled a couple over to him. Isaac sat next to him. Tommy slowly, hoping Isaac would say he didn't have to, slit open the envelope and pulled a letter out. Something fell out and Isaac picked up the guitar necklace and smiled as he saw the engraving on either side. He put it down and looked at Tommy waiting for him to read the letter aloud.

Dear Tommy,   
I am sending you this engraved guitar necklace with the words “Brave” on one side and "Love” on the other. I wanted to put these specific words because they are powerful words. “Love”: You need to love yourself and accept who you are, the amazing person you are and of course love Adam with all your heart and never let that love go. That kind of true love only comes around once in a lifetime. “Brave”: You are very brave to tell the world what you went though it must of been hard, but it needed to be done. The story you told will help so many people come forward with their stories knowing that it will be ok, and they will overcome it. Thank you. I hope this necklace will mean more now that I explained. I love you. Wear it proud!   
Jessie

“Wow.” Tommy said softly. “Fucking fans…”

“Awesome, right?” Isaac asked with a grin. 

“Totally awesome.” Tommy agreed with a small smile and immediately put on the necklace. His fans never failed to impress him with their grace, and compassion. Every time he didn't give them enough credit then something like this happened. He started thinking maybe he would send an autographed picture or something as a thank you.

He opened the next. 

Tommy Joe,  
I just wanted to say thank you for your candor and honesty on Ellen. I know that could not have been easy for you. I have been attacked too. I had been too afraid to tell anyone. But then you sat up there in front of the world and unflinchingly told what had been done to you and I realized I was a coward. I am telling my boyfriend tonight. 

Yours devoted,  
Cassie

“Shit!” Isaac said as Tommy just stared in shock. The gate buzzed and Tommy answered it and buzzed in Sophia. Isaac led her in and her eyebrows went up at the sight of all the letters. Isaac handed her the two they had read. Tommy just stared, trying not to lose it completely. 

“What a wonderful testament.” She said simply knowing Tommy need calm reassurance right now. “Your courage is impacting people positively. That must make you feel good.” she smiled and grabbed one out of the pile and looked at Tommy. When he nodded his consent finally she opened it and quietly read it. 

“Oh hey, this one has a really good idea. Eugene writes that he works with dog rescues to train therapy dogs. He was suggesting that a emotional therapy dog might help with your PTSD and anxiety.” she paused. “I'm kind of ashamed I didn't think of that. It might be really good for you to have that kind of support.” She looked down at Pharoah who cocked his head at her and wagged his tail. “Something bigger than him that can really offer comfort when you have a panic attack.” she tapped her lip in thought and then pulled out her cell and called a number written on the bottom of the letter.

“May I speak to Eugene please?” 

Tommy and Isaac watched her in shock and listened to her side of the conversation. “Eugene. Hello. My name is Sophia and I'm friends with Tommy Joe. We were just reading your letter and I'm smacking myself for not thinking of this. Are you in the LA area?...Oh ok. Can you recommend someone in the area?....” she jotted down notes. “Can you tell me what the dogs are generally trained to do?....uh huh…..and they can detect that?....oh wow….that sounds perfect. I will definitely look into it tomorrow. Tommy and I thank you very much for your idea….I’ll pass that along.” She hung up and looked over at him. “He said to tell you he is a big fan and he is behind you.”

Tommy Joe hid behind his hair and blushed. “Thanks.” he said softly. “So what did he say?”

“They train dogs to detect panic attacks and anxiety. They work to calm you when you need it. I don't know why I didn't think of it! This could be perfect for you, Tommy. You can regain some independence and be taken care of at the same time. Would you be interested?”

“I love dogs.. “ He said hesitantly. “It would have to get along with Pharoah.”

“Agreed but they have to go through a lot of training to get the certification so it will be well trained and well behaved.”

“I would have to talk to Adam.” Tommy hesitated again. “Do you think it could help?”

“I really do.” 

“I do too, TJ. It sounds perfect.” Isaac stood. “I'm gonna grab your laptop so you can Skype with Adam about it. Open a couple more letters ok.”

Tommy nodded and opened another. 

Tommy,  
I miss our lessons but now I understand completely. I am so sorry you have been going through all this. It sounds like an incredible burden for you to have. Just wanted you to know that we, your fans and your TJRArmy support you completely. We love you and are here for you. You bring all of us so much happiness in your tweets to us, replies and lessons and of course your relationship with Adam. We hope we can repay the favor in whatever little way we can. Take whatever time you need for all your help and healing. We will be here for you along the way and await your return when you are ready. 

Vanessa

PS. I finally mastered that freaking F chord, you will be so proud.

Tommy smiled a little at that. “That F is a bitch at first.”

Isaac opened the laptop and connected Skype and hit to call Adam. “Hey Adam!” He and Sophia said. Adam looked at the screen for a second. “Hey guys,” his tone softened. “Hey Kitten.” 

Tommy looked up and gave a small smile. “Hey Rock star.” 

“What's going on?” Adam asked.

“I have a bunch of fanmail apparently and I've been reading the letters.”

“That's great.” Adam smiled. “Good letters I hope.”

“Yeah…” Tommy said in a small voice.

Isaac took over telling Adam about them. He read him the first couple letters and then the one they were calling him about. “Sophia called the guy and she thinks this is a really good idea though it would have to be a big dog…”

“What do you think?” Adam interrupted. 

“I think it could be a great idea…” Isaac began and Adam interrupted him again.

“I was talking to Tommy.” He said bluntly and Isaac quieted immediately. “If fact if I could talk to my kitten alone that would be great.” 

Adam watched as Tommy peeked through his bangs and nodded to something unsaid. Finally Tommy moved the laptop to a better view and looked at the camera. “I miss you.” He blurted out. “You always know when I need quiet.”

Adam chuckled and drank in the sight of Tommy as the guitarist finally relaxed a bit. “There is my kitten. How are you doing, baby?”

“I'm ok.” Tommy shrugged. “The letters kind of freak me out. Especially the one with the girl telling her boyfriend.”

“That's a lot of responsibility, huh?” 

“Exactly.” Tommy chewed on his lip a bit.

“Baby, she is just borrowing your courage. Doesn't make any of it your responsibility. You may think it does but it really doesn't. People make the choices they make. They may use you for inspiration but ultimately they still make the choice, right?”

Tommy thought for a moment and slowly stopped chewing his lip and smiled a bit. “That's a good point.” He said happily. 

“Good. There's that beautiful smile. Now tell me your thoughts about this dog thing.” He settled himself more comfortably under the covers, after all it was like early morning for him instead of the later evening it was for them. He listened as Tommy, flood gate open, talked about his hopes and fears. One by one they tackled them. 

“Thank you, baby boy. You always know how to calm me.”

“That is because you are mine, kitten; and I am yours.” Adam answered in a husky voice. “I was going to surprise you baby, but I will home for a long weekend in two days. How about I go with you to pick out the dog. We can bring Sophia and Pharoah and they can agree?”

“Really? You’ll be here!” Tommy's smile was blinding. 

“Yep, we have a long 5 day weekend and I want to see you.” Adam grinned. “Seeing you over Skype isn't the same as falling asleep with you in my arms.”

“Agreed!” Tommy breathed deeply at the thought. “I can't wait to see you.”

“Me either my love. Go ahead and set up the appointment for the dog on Monday. I will fly in Sunday. I love you, Kitten.”

“I love you too, Rock Star.” Tommy grinned and blew a kiss to the screen. He felt pounds lighter than he had before the call. He knew a dog was the right choice and he knew that Adam would be here to help him. Adam was coming home. He started planning a dinner he could cook for Adam and Leila maybe. Something impressive. He and Adam disconnected and he called Sophia and Isaac back in to tell them what he and Adam had decided.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam returns home, paparazzi are jerks and there is an unexpected heroine.
> 
> I do not know or own them, this is completely fiction and I make no money from this. I write because I love to and because the subjects inspire me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers! I have had several of you reach out to me on Twitter (I guess my days of being incognito are over) and I have so enjoyed hearing from you and talking to you. You have no idea how much your love of this story gets me through bad days. My story is even being translated into Russian now! Do you have any idea how amazing that is?? You guys are awesome!
> 
> Apologies for this. I have an original character from a different fandom demand to make an appearance. I would write her in and shake my head and remove her and then She would bounce right back in. She is determined. She is honestly my favorite character I have ever created and if I ever write a non fanfiction story she will be the star. She makes me happy and she makes me laugh and I hope you love her as much as I do. She wants to make another appearance so we'll see. I'm debating it now.
> 
> Now on to the story:

Tommy waited by the baggage claim nervously chewing on his thumb. He wore a hat and sunglasses but there was a tiny raven hair girl in pigtails who was already looking at him. Tommy was missing the days when he could go anywhere and not be recognized. If he was with Adam, maybe but alone, hell no. Now though, having been on two talk shows lately, one to out himself and the infamous Ellen one, people seemed to be clued in to him and it made Tommy extremely uncomfortable. He finally saw a bunch of flashes of the paparazzi cameras and rolled his eyes. Great. They had gotten wind of Adam coming home. Fuck. That would make getting to the car lots of fun. 

He chewed harder on his thumb. Should he go get the car and pick Adam up? But then Adam may have to stand there and wait on him while he circled and that didn’t sound right. Adam should never have to wait on Tommy. Adam should always be waited on. He was the important one. Tommy was a nobody. Then the decision was taken as Adam strode around the corner and caught sight of him. His smile was a personal one just for Tommy and as soon as the paps saw it, they turned the cameras on Tommy too. He flinched as several of them began shouting questions at him but he ignored them.

Adam made his way over to him and his eyes asked what kind of greeting Tommy was ok with. Tommy chewed his finger anxiously before steeling himself and pushing up his sunglasses. This was Adam and he hadn’t gotten to kiss him in forever. He wasn’t going to let stupid paps destroy this moment for him. His determination made Adam smile and Adam reached him and tenderly cupped Tommy’s face while looking deeply into Tommy’s eyes. 

“Hey there, kitten.” He said softly.

“Hey Rock star.” Tommy responded and leaned forward. Adam moved in and they exchanged a sweet welcoming kiss. Tommy clutched Adam’s shirt and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss a bit. Flashes intensified around them. 

“Tommy! Have you recovered from your rape?”

Tommy instantly froze and all the color drained from his face. “Mother fucker!” Adam said angrily. “What the fuck?...” he turned but before he could confront the jerk who had asked the question, the tiny girl darted over and started poking the paparazzi hard in the chest. 

“Are all paparazzi elitist jerks without hearts or is it just you?” She asked angrily. “They have both been through quite enough without you purposely trying to be a jerk. Pick on someone your own size!” She said that like she was the one he should pick on even though she couldn’t even weigh 100 pounds and was less than 5 feet tall.

Tommy was frozen, watching what was happening. He couldn’t believe this tiny girl was doing this. She was probably in her early 20’s with ice blue eyes and an pixie build. Tommy’s mouth was hanging open at her show of support. 

“Get out of my way.” The Paparazzi snarled and pushed the girl. “Tommy! How scared are you?”

The girl lunged at him at that but was caught around the waist by a soldier in uniform who chuckled as he pulled her away. “Emma, you were supposed to be here to pick me up, not to pick a fight.” He laughed. Emma was still trying to get to the guy, kicking her legs and swinging her arms. 

“He's being a jerk to Adam and Tommy.” She said through gritted teeth. “I can do both. Let me at him!”

“That's quite enough.” The man said laughing. He and his other soldiers stepped between Tommy and the Paparazzi to limit the man’s view. “You will leave them alone, right now.” He commanded. The original guy turned to the boys still holding the girl almost under one arm.. He held out his hand for Tommy to shake. And the girl giggled slightly as he bounced her.

“I am Shane.” He said softly. “Forgive my forwardness but I see the signs in you that I see in many of my friends when we come home from war. Loud noises, certain smells, issues with rage, fear over everyday things. I totally understand and then you get the metallic taste in your mouth of the adrenaline kicking in. You can know there is nothing to run from but you can't stop yourself.”

Tommy's eyes grew wide. “Yeah.” he said softly. This guy understood.

Ben nodded. “Yeah. PTSD is a bitch. Just keep fighting. My sister here is a huge fan. Emma can I put you down now?” he asked and bounced her again. 

“Yes.” She said in an exasperated voice that was so overdone it was obvious she was playing. As soon as he put her down she bounced forward and held out her hand. “Hiya. I'm Emma.” She said happily. “I could walk you to your car if you need protection.” She mimed boxing for a second until she lost her balance for a second but she caught herself and bounced upright again.

Tommy couldn't help himself and started laughing. Adam joined in. “I think we may have found a new bodyguard for you.” Tommy chuckled. Turning to Emma he hugged her. “Thank you. You are awesome.” She made him laugh when he thought that was the last thing he would do. She grinned.

“My pleasure.” She said. “I'm glad I was here to pick up Shane.Your fans are behind you both 100% and I know many of us would defend you, no questions asked against jerks like him. Nice meeting you both.” She grinned, popped her bubblegum and bounced over to baggage claim.

The man in question spoke up. “Now you lads get going and we’ll stall them a bit.” 

Tommy smiled and shook his hand again. “Thanks, Shane.” he said. “She's a hand full huh?”

Shane rolled his eyes with a affectionate smile. “You have no idea.”

Adam and Tommy headed out to the car holding hands and relaxing knowing that there was a wave of soldiers and Emma making sure the paps couldn't get close.

Adam drove them home and they laughed much of the way and held hands. Adam brought their hands to his lips and kissed Tommy’s fingers. “I missed you so much baby. I can't wait to see what all you have done to our house.”

“It's all gothed out.” Tommy teased. “You will love it.” 

Adam gave a mock growl and laughed. “I wouldn't put it past you.” When they finally entered, Adam just breathed a sigh of happiness. “I love it. It feels like home and it feels like ours.” 

Tommy smiled happily and gave Adam the official tour. He saved the bedroom for last and was glad he did. Adam immediately dropped the bookbag he had brought as his carryon and took both of Tommy’s hands. “Are we expecting anyone?”

“Nope. Just us tonight, babyboy.” Tommy replied with a sexy grin. 

“Thank fuck.” Adam said and immediately pulled Tommy over to the bed. “I want a nap. A bath with you and then a nice quiet dinner.”

Tommy immediately pulled off his shirt and wiggled out of his jeans. “I was hoping you would say that.” He looked up from under his bangs flirtatiously at Adam. Adam groaned and immediately stripped himself. 

Tommy crawled into the cool sheets and waited for Adam to join him. Adam immediately wrapped his arms around Tommy and kissed his nose as he settled in the bed with Tommy. They both gave happy sighs as their bodies relaxed into the bed. 

“This is heaven.” Adam said. They talked quietly just catching each other up. It was a bonding time for them. Adam fell asleep and Tommy just watched him, unable to believe this sexy man was all his. He finally drifted off too. 

When Adam woke from his nap, he could smell tantalizing smells coming from the kitchen. He pulled on some soft knit slacks and an undershirt and headed barefoot into the kitchen. He smiled as he watched Tommy confidently move around the kitchen preparing their dinner. 

“Hey sleepy head.” Tommy teased. 

“Mmm. That smells amazing.”

“It will be ready in a few. Want to set the table?” 

Adam nodded and after a couple false starts found the silverware, napkins and wine glasses. He set the table and poured them each a glass of wine. His eyes widened as Tommy carried in two plates of food. Tommy, notoriously unable to cook, had prepared blackened salmon over a bed of greens. It looked amazing and smelled mouth watering. 

They happily dug into the food. “Wow, kitten. You have definitely gotten good in the kitchen.”

Tommy shrugged. “It gave me something to do. I like it. It's calming and peaceful.” He gave a wicked little grin. “Plus I get to eat it and I love that part.” 

Adam laughed. “Well I look forward to tasting all your delicacies.” Adam said with a flirty wink. Tommy blushed slightly. 

“I'm glad your home. I missed you.” Tommy said softly. “I missed you more than I thought I would.” He looked up through his hair.

“I miss you all the time, Kitten. I am thrilled to hear you missed me too. I was worried I would come home and you would have decided to break up.”

Tommy's head shot up. “Fuck, no! Adam no matter how freaked and uncomfortable I have been I still knew you were what I wanted. No matter what it takes, you are the one for me. Period. It took way too long to get here to dare give up.” Adam gave him a huge grin which Tommy matched. 

“So tomorrow we are going to go pick you out a dog, huh?” Adam changed the subject smoothly.

“From what Sophia has gathered, we go in with Pharaoh and use that and my background and symptoms and they will select the best dog for the situation.”

“How are you feeling about it.” 

“Pretty good actually. They are trained to look for stress cues and come over to snap you out of it. There have even been dogs trained to de escalate during an episode.”

Adam looked hard at Tommy and the blond blushed. “You know there is nothing wrong with having PTSD, right?” He said seriously.

“I know. It's just hard to talk about sometimes.” Tommy said with a shrug. “It's like my own body and mind work against me sometimes. It's very unnerving and frustrating.”

Adam pushed away from the table and took Tommy’s hand pulling him up and kissing him tenderly. Tommy got that adorable little smirk he used to get on stage sometimes. “I need you and I want you so much baby. Can we just take a bath together or something so I can at least touch you?” He swallowed hard. “I know you may not be able to take much but can we try?”

“I'm totally open to trying, baby boy. Tommy pulled Adam behind him. “So roll the dice and get lucky tonight.” Tommy gave a wicked little grin and winked. “I know your holding back, no more hesitation.”

“Seriously?” Adam asked incredulously. Tommy gave an innocent look.

“What? I want your naked love.” They both started laughing and headed upstairs for some making out.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy picks out a dog and some other stuff.
> 
> I do not know or own either of them and this is all fiction from my warped little brain. If you wish to archive my story somewhere please email me. I make no money from this and just write for the love of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovely readers, you inspired me so I wrote another chapter. Here you go and THANK YOU ALL! Your love and support of this story keep me going.
> 
> Now for the chapter.

The sounds of laughter and moans echoed through the house. The boys were in a bath and had bathed each other leading to quite a bit of making out and lots of water ending up on the floor. Adam was currently straddling Tommy Joe and grinding against him. “Fuck…” He hissed out. “More….I need more.” 

Tommy hesitated. “We can try…” he said with no confidence and dropped his eyes in shame. What they had been doing was fine, great in fact. Tommy was enjoying himself immensely but this wasn't what Greg had done to him. The last thing Tommy wanted and what he feared more than anything was starting to have sex with Adam and having a panic attack during it. 

“Baby?” Adams voice was soft and concerned. When Tommy didn't look up, Adam’s voice strengthened and hardened. “Tommy Joe!” Tommy looked up blinking away the moisture that had gathered. “Stop that right now.” Adam commanded. Tommy blinked again confusedly. “We are in this together. No matter what. You are not alone and WE will make all the decisions together.” his tone and face softened and he caressed Tommy’s cheek. 

“What if you were the top this time?” Adam suggested softly.

Tommy's eyes widened and he stared at Adam. “But you are always the top.” Tommy said in a soft voice as if he thought he was dreaming. “You are the alpha, you are the one incharge, you are the dominate and the master. Always. We all know that about you.” 

Adam leaned forward and kissed Tommy softly until the blond relaxed and gave into the kiss. “Haven't I already demonstrated that all of my rules go out the window where you are concerned? You are not a partner or a boyfriend.” he ignored the flash of hurt he saw flit across Tommy’s face. “You are Tommy. My Tommy. The love of my life. You are my everything. There are no rules between us baby. I would happily bottom for you for the rest of our lives if it was what you wanted.” 

Tommy wrapped an arm around Adam and pulled him closer for another kiss. “Okay, babyboy.” He said with a grin. “We can absolutely. Let's go to the bedroom.” He blushed at Adam’s cocked eyebrow. “We need the condoms. I'm not done with my testing yet.” he said very softly. 

Adam looked very seriously at Tommy. He knew what Tommy meant. Due to the rape, Tommy had been put on HIV medication for one month. He had been tested at the time and after one month. He would be tested again at the three month and six month marks. If he was still showing no HIV antibodies at that time he would know that Greg hadn't given him anything.

Adam understood. He knew Tommy was it for him and part of him wanted to say he didn't care but this was scary shit and they both needed to be responsible about it. Adam kissed him gently and then stood, pulling Tommy up after him. He dried them both off and led Tommy into the bedroom. 

Tommy took his time preparing Adam, knowing he didn't bottom often and wanted to make sure they both enjoyed it. When he finally slid in they were both covered in sweat and moaning loudly. There was no unpleasantness, no flash backs and no panic attacks to mar the beauty and passion between them. Tommy felt closer to Adam than ever before. He knew his lover would do anything for him and that they were together in this. Gasps and moans of the others name followed each of their release. 

Sated for the first time since that horrific day, they cleaned up and fell deeply asleep in one another's arms. No bad dreams marred the night and only rest and relaxation followed.

The next morning they met Sophia at 2nd Horizons Kennels. They had been instructed to leave Pharoah off leash to get a true feel for how he would react to the other dog and because he was so well behaved they didn't worry about it. Sophia took one look at them and grinned and hugged them both. She could tell they had cemented their bond but she didn't know or care how. She was just glad at the relaxed and happy front they presented. 

They were surprised to run into Shane from the airport running the desk. He looked just as surprised to see them and stood to shake their hands. “I wasn't expecting to see you again. Especially not so soon.” 

“So you train emotional support dogs?” Adam asked curiously.

“No. My mom does and she had a doctor's appointment so I'm running the desk until she gets back.” He answered with a smile. “I assume you are the 11am?” the boys and Sophia nodded. “Great choice to go with a support animal. It will help a lot. Go on in, Emma is back there. She’ll get you fixed up.” He buzzed them into the kennel area behind him. 

They walked down the path in the center and looked at the dogs on either side. It appeared there were more pit bulls and retrievers than any other kind. They reached a pen at the back and observed Emma training a dog. She had the Rottweiler running through a course and when he finished she cheered and gave him a treat. 

“Well done Zeus!” She praised him. She gave a weird hand gesture and the Dog immediately relaxed and she peppered his face with kisses. He gave a doggy grin and barked to alert her they had company. 

Emma turned and bounced over. “Hiya! Tommy and Adam so good to see you again!” She practically chirped. She hugged them both spontaneously and them held out her hand to Sophia. “Hi, I'm Emma!” She grinned. Sophia laughed. This girl was happiness and sunshine all the way. 

“Hello, Emma. I'm Sophia. We had an appointment with your mother.”

“Ahhh. So you guys are the appointment. No wonder mom was so secretive. She didn't want to spill the beans who her client was.” Emma said fast while she bounced in place. “Sorry she isn't here, she had a doctors appointment she couldn't reschedule.”

“Do we need to come back?” Tommy asked worried. He didn't want to wait anymore for this.

“No.” Emma replied with a smile. “I'm all ready for you. I think I know just the dog for you all. Let me get Zeus put up and I'll grab Etta.” She bounced away.

“How on earth do you boys know her?” Sophia asked with a cocked eyebrow. That girl was one huge bundle of energy. It appeared she was unable to stand still and kind of bounced on her heels constantly. Tommy and Adam told her the story of the meeting in the airport the previous day and Sophia’s already high opinion went up even more. 

When Emma returned she was leading a large American Bulldog. She made a motion with her hand when she stepped in front of them and the Dog instantly sat at attention. Pharoah, not as polite immediately barked and began trying to play with the big dog but didn't get any reactions beyond a wagging tail. All business she turned to Tommy. “How do your panic attacks manifest?”

“The lighter ones I sort of shake I guess. The really bad ones I usually end up curled into a ball.”

“Let's start light.” Emma suggested. “Can you simulate a panic attack?” 

Tommy didn't really have to simulate anything. He had been having a light panic attack ever since they had left the house. He let go of the control he kept over his body and his hands immediately began to fidget with his shirt bottom and his leg jiggled a bit, rattling the change in his pocket. The dog cocked it's head and whined very softly. It stood and moved in front of Tommy. It sat at Tommys feet and leaned against the leg that was jiggling and licked at Tommys hands, nudging gently with its head for Tommy to rub it.

Without even realizing he was doing it, Tommy began to stroke the dog and the dog angled herself perfectly so that Tommy had little choice but to interact with it instead of himself. He felt his breathing slow as he calmed down. He smiled and knelt beside her. “You are beautiful, Etta.” She licked his face and he laughed. 

“Now can you simulate a major panic attack?” Emma asked softly.

Tommy nodded and looked nervously at Adam. He didn't like doing this in front of Adam. He knelt on the grass and then curled featle. His legs trembled and he gave fake sobs and covered his face. Occasionally hitting at his arms or picking at his skin on his arms.

Etta immediately moved in and whined softly. She edged herself up under his hands so that he couldn't hurt himself and she looked deeply into his eyes and licked him. She lay snuggled up to him, her weight keeping him from moving too much. She was so loving and gentle with him, Tommy ended up hugging her tightly and kissing her mushed little face. 

“Perfect.” Emma laughed and clapped happily. 

Tommy stood up and brushed off the grass from his jeans. He looked over to see Sophia holding Adam’s hand as he cried. Tommy stepped up and hugged Adam. “It's ok, babyboy.” He said softly.

“I know Kitten. It just hurts to see you like that.” Adam admitted with a wry smile.

Tommy kissed him gently. “I'm ok. I get better every day and Etta will help a lot. She will give me some confidence back.” Adam smiled and kissed Tommy’s nose.

They both turned back to Emma. Emma gave a hand signal to Etta and she became a different dog entirely. She started chasing Pharoah and the two dogs played happily together. She smiled watching and then turned back to her clients. “I knew Etta would be perfect for you.” She chirped. “I thought about suggesting her at the airport yesterday but I didn't know if you were interested in a therapy dog.”

“What were those signals?” Tommy asked curiously. 

Emma showed him the motions and explained it was telling Emma that it was work time and play time. “You won't have to do this at home. I only did it to make sure she didn't play with Pharoah until she had finished working. Come on, let's go sit over here.” She guestered to some chairs on the other end of the pen. It was a shaded area and looked comfortable. 

“How did you get into this?” Sophia asked once they settled. 

“Honestly, mom ran a dog training facility and when Shane enlisted she would hear about his horror stories about battle. It hurt a lot to think of him in that situation but one night it was especially bad. He and his troop got into a firefight and one of his men lost his best friend. They had been close since childhood and somehow actually got assigned together. It gave the living one really bad PTSD and he would freak out and ended up leaving the service. Shane wrote about it all to mom and she decided to start training dogs just in case Shane ever needed one.”

Tommy nodded. “Now that I have experience with it, I totally can understand.”

“So do you think Etta is a good match?” Emma asked.

“I think she is perfect.” Tommy answered softly, a little in love with the dog already.

“I recognize that look, kitten!” Adam said with a laugh. “He is head over heels for her already.”

“Yay!” Emma said and clapped happily. “I knew it!” She bounced in her chair excitedly. 

Sophia brought out a form from her purse and handed it to Emma who took it and read it over. “Perfect.” She stood. “I’ll go get the paperwork and you can take her home today.” She bounced into the building.

“What was that paper?” Adam asked curiously.

“It was my official diagnosis for PTSD and Anxiety disorder for Tommy and my recommendation for a Emotional support therapy dog.” 

The boys nodded and waited. When Emma reappeared she had a leash, a bag and some paperwork. She handed the paperwork to Tommy. “This is the adoption papers along with certification that she is a therapy dog. She can fly with you and go places with you, just keep the documentation on hand. I printed out an extra and laminated it so you can keep it in your wallet. Her latest vet visits and vaccinations are in there too. I recommend keeping her as close as possible for the next couple weeks so that she gets a feel for you and your moods. The better she knows you, the faster she can respond when something isn’t right.”

“Thank you so much, Emma. You have no idea how much this means to me.” Tommy said getting a bit choked up.

“It is my pleasure.” Emma responded with a smile. “I got to meet and help one of my heroes. How often does that happen?”

“You are amazing.” Adam said honestly. “I’m totally sending you some swag for this.”

“Adam your fans have wanted you two together for years. We knew there was distance between you two and it made us sad. Then you guys came out as a couple and we were over the moon. All of a sudden you are cancelling shows and neither of you is anywhere to be seen. We knew something had happened but we didn’t know what until that interview.” Emma gave a sad smile. “Now we know why. If putting you and Etta together helps even a tiny bit then I can know that I helped. That is so worth it to me.”

Tommy stood and hugged Emma. “You are awesome. I’m sending you stuff too.” He said with a grin.”Thank you for everything. Thank you for restoring my faith some in our fans.”

Emma looked up at Tommy, her blue eyes showing compassion. “Your fans love you. If they don’t fuck em.” It was slightly shocking to find this tiny girl cursing. “You don’t owe us fans anything. You just live your lives and be happy. That's it.” 

Tommy grinned and kissed her cheek. It was time to get a new handle on life and really begin to enjoy it again. Last night was a start. He blushed slightly as he looked over at Adam. The singers eyes raked over him heatedly as if he knew just what Tommy was thinking. Yep definitely time to get on with living life instead of waiting to die. He wondered how Adam might like a dinner of aphrodisiacs followed by some more lovemaking.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know or own them. To the best of my knowledge this is all fantasy, mores the pity. Let me know if you like what I write. 
> 
> Well, here we are again. Welcome to all my new readers! Welcome back to the ones who have been here since the beginning. This chapter is full of fluffy goodness but before we get to that I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jessie. I saw that message to you on Twitter and knew that this chapter had your name on it. So this one is dedicated to you! I hope this helps your day to be awesome!
> 
> Now the last sentence of this chapter is important, DON'T READ AHEAD, but when you get there, if you see any pictures of ones you would like to share or you think would be perfect, email me at eyeswideshutfanfic@gmail.com with the pic and it may be used. Now on to the story....

Etta spent every last minute with Tommy and he was head over heels in love with her. She settled well into their lives and got along well with Pharaoh who proved he was leader of the pack and she followed accordingly. She bonded to Tommy immediately and while she was obviously friendly and obedient with Adam, she had picked her master and it was clearly Tommy. They spent the final two days of Adam’s free time doing all of their favorite things. They swam and watched movies together. The way time always goes when you are having a great day, time sped up. Tommy and Adam clung tighter to each other but the night before Adam’s flight arrived anyway. 

They relaxed together on the couch. Tommy curled into Adam with Pharaoh on Adams lap and Etta on Tommy’s feet. They talked. Nothing important, just those conversations couples seem to have. The what if questions like what if we were stranded on a deserted island. The talks of where they would like to vacation together and what they would like to do. Adam every so often stroked Tommy's hair and Tommy would lean into the touch. 

“Kitten, where do you see yourself in ten years?“ Adam asked softly. Tommy looked at him sensing there was more to this question.

“I see myself still madly in love with you and either playing on stage with you or in the audience cheering Queen on or even at home taking care of our children while my husband works.” Tommy answered honestly. 

Adams eyes widened. He immediately kissed Tommy hard and more roughly than he had since that day but Tommy moaned into his mouth with pleasure and no fear. Adam pulled back and stared at Tommy, love sparkling in his eyes making him look like the Adam of old. “Do you mean that, Kitten?” He asked.

Tommy nodded with a grin and then cocked his head, asking the question he had been wondering about.. “Why do you call me kitten now?” 

“Because glitterbaby has been tainted and pretty kitty is too long all the time. So I just changed it to Kitten. You are a fierce kitten. All snuggly when you want to be but you have sharp claws too and I love to see you use them…. Only not at me.” He laughed. 

Tommy nodded. “it's almost like you are just saying MINE. You are owning me the way a person owns a pet. They can be part of the family but they are still yours, you know?”

Adam looked worried. “Is that bad?”

Tommys face broke into a grin. “Not bad at all, baby boy. You do own me. Mind, body and soul.” He kissed Adam. “I like it.“

Adam grew very serious and looked at Tommy, meeting his eyes boldly. Tommy cocked his head and smiled at Adam through his hair, his dimples popping out on his cheeks. “Tommy, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. I’ve never really thought about marriage much because even though I have loved the men I dated, I could never see myself being with them forever. Even Sauli. You though...I can’t imagine you not being a part of my life every day for the rest of it. Our careers may not give us all the time we want together but the time we have is precious to me. I want you to know that one day, I do want to marry you. One day I will ask you to be my husband and I will mean it. I didn’t know that was an option for us until right now when you said that but I want you to be prepared because it is coming.”

Tommy’s smile dropped off and he looked at Adam just as seriously. “Adam, you have always been my exception. You are the love of my life. I never intended to marry. You know that. No one ever understood my quirks well enough except for you and because I thought I was straight that wasn’t an option.The day that I told you I loved you, I was prepared for this. Even if it had never happened, the moment I accepted my love for you, I knew that if the moment came I would pledge myself to you. There has never been and will never be anyone for me but you. When you ask, I will say yes.” 

Adam’s eyes sparkled with happiness and he gently but firmly, locking eyes with Tommy the whole time, used Tommy’s hair to pull him into a passionate kiss. Tommy melted into the kiss and within minutes the dogs were off the couch and Tommy was in Adam’s lap, straddling him and continuing the passionate kiss. “Adam…” Tommy whispered. “I’m ready to try. I want you. Don’t argue, don’t second guess, don’t question it. Just make love to me. Make it gentle. Make it everything it can be between us and remind my body how good it can be.”

Adam hesitated for a second, about to argue but he heard the words and he understood. Instead of verbally responding, he kissed Tommy softy, full of love and stood, picking Tommy up with him. Tommy wrapped his legs around Adam and continued the kissing and touching as Adam carried them to their bedroom. He took his time preparing Tommy and making sure the blonde was enjoying every second. Tommy was thrashing and begging before Adam slid inside. Tommy moaned loudly. 

“Fuck! I remember this. So good.” he panted and Adam relaxed. “More.” Tommy commanded and Adam smiled. 

“My kitten is a bit needy.” He commented with a smirk. “Maybe we should slow….” He began to tease before his words were lost in a moan as Tommy arched into him driving him deeper. When he caught his breath he looked to find Tommy smirking. 

“Slow isn’t exactly either of our speeds.” Tommy said with a cocked eyebrow.

“And if I decided to go agonizingly slow?” Adam asked, his hips demonstrating that motion.

Tommy arched again, head thrown back and he bit his lip. His hand moved down to stroke himself to the same rhythm. “Then I would enjoy it knowing you will get us both there at the right time.” He finally answered, his voice a bit strained with pleasure.

Adam watched himself moving in and out and then at Tommy’s hand and with a groan he sped up. “You were right, slow isn’t our thing.” He admitted and there was laughter followed by many moans as the men worked together to find their perfect rhythm. Forever later it seemed, the two relaxed in the bed together, cuddled and enjoying their last evening together. They continued their conversation. At some point Tommy went and got them wine and a tray with cheeses, meats fruits and crackers on it. “You are becoming a regular Martha Stewart.” He commented and Tommy choked on his grape.

“Dude. You did not just call me Martha.” He laughed.

“Well, you cook these amazing meals now and you just made a fucking cheese plate.” Adam defended himself, scooping up some of the mild goat cheese with a cracker and following it with some grapes.”I’m just glad you found something to occupy yourself.” He took a sip of his wine. “Are you ever going back to teaching?”

“I’ve been missing it.” Tommy admitted. “I just don’t want to talk about IT with them, you know? I don’t know how to ensure they don’t try.”

“Can you not let them know in advance that if they try to even skirt the issue, you will immediately disconnect and will not allow them more lessons… Here I have an idea.” He pulled out his phone and turned on the camera making sure it wasn’t obvious he was in bed. He filmed a quick message to their fans and posted it. Tommy grinned and went to twitter to like and retweet it.

`Fans of mine and Tommy’s. I have a message and a request. Tommy and I love the support you have shown us both during the last few months. Your love shows through so clearly as does your concern for Tommy. Tommy is just fine. In fact he is right here. He is ready to get back to guitar teaching but he doesn’t want to talk about all this. We all deal with trauma in our own ways and with the people we trust the most. Please know that while he is dealing with it, you are likely not one of those trusted that he will want to talk to about it. Please allow him his privacy in regards to his situation. Know in advance, the second you even hint to it, Tommy will end that and all future lessons with you. All prepayments will not be subject to refund. Thank you for your understanding and support.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. Adam had made it so clear and easy. He saved the video to his phone. “I’ll show the video before I connect and they will have to agree before I start. That way I can be absolutely sure everyone has seen it. Thank you Adam. You always say things so well. I stick my foot in my mouth and end up pissing everyone off.”

“It’s ok, Kitten. I will always be your defender.” Adam grinned. They settled back into the bed and slept briefly, curled around each other content to sleep their last few hours together. Adam woke before his alarm and kissed Tommy softly. Letting Tommy sleep he let the dogs snuggle in and he smiled as he dressed and went out to meet the cab. He typed a text out to Tommy as he headed for the airport. He then arranged a few things from some sleepy friends.

Tommy woke a few hours later and stretched reaching for Adam to find that side of the bed cold. He pouted as he picked up his phone. The pout rapidly turned into a smile as he read Adam’s message. `Kitten, you were sleeping so well, I couldn’t bear to wake you. I love you so much Kitten. Thank you for being you and for trusting me so much. I will never betray it. You will be having visitors come by during the day. Don’t argue. Just do what they ask. The first is due at 9am. Go downstairs when you are ready.” 

Tommy looked at the time. 8:42. Damn Adam was good. He grinned and jumped into the shower. Tommy let the water beat down on him and remembered the feeling of Adam making love to him and smiled. He was relieved that he hadn’t had any flashbacks. It had all just been wonderful. He knew that may not be the case every time but he missed dominate Adam and he wanted to trust his own mind and body and of course Adam enough to not flip out if Adam got a little rough. Last night had been a first step toward that. 

Tommy dressed himself in some tight black jeans and a red checkered flannel that he and Adam seemed to share. Neither could remember whose shirt it was originally but it was warm and comfortable and they both liked it. Adam had worn it last and it still smelled like him so Tommy forwent any cologne. He peeked down stairs and saw Sultan waiting for him with coffee. 

“Vayvee! You look gorgeous.” Sultan stated bluntly. “You look almost like my boo of old.”

Tommy grinned and took a slug of his coffee and motioned Sultan to the table. He helped himself to a muffin the other man had brought as well. “So what is the plan?” Tommy asked excitedly.

“Vayvee, your life partner is going to supply you with coffee and a mani pedi. The next portion will be here at 12 so until then, you will be pampered as per Mr. Lambert’s instructions.” Sultan grinned.

Three hours later, Tommy had been pampered and buffed and shined and he met Isaac coming in as Sultan took his exit. Isaac held up a sack from their favorite mexican place. “Tacos?” He asked innocently. Within minutes of attacking the contents, Tommy was groaning in satisfaction with a hand over his slightly swollen belly, full of taco goodness. Once they were both full to the brim Isaac ushed Tommy out to the car and drove him to his favorite guitar shop. 

“He said to pick out a new toy.” Isaac said bluntly and then as Tommy opened his mouth to argue he continued with a smirk. “He also said if you argue, he will buy 5. They are already prepared for you coming so suck it up and pick out a new guitar.” 

Tommy just shook his head. Adam took such great care of the people he loved and he loved to spoil them. He had known Tommy would object but he had planned for that too. Tommy got a sheepish little grin on his face. He and Isaac spent two hours looking and testing guitars before Tommy found his newest baby. A black Gibson Les Paul with a electric blue swirl. It played beautifully and the design reminded him of the Glam Nation days. Of Adam’s outfits of black and blue. He put his new baby lovingly into the back seat and the ride home was full of laughter.

The day continued on with Roses being delivered and company of loved ones throughout the day. Tommy felt loved and cherished more than he ever had before. While Tommy was enjoying the pampering, Adam was searching for the perfect ring. Knowing that Tommy would be his husband at some point was pushing Adam to find the ring. To make it official. They didn’t have to get married right away but he needed to be ready to propose. If he could just find the perfect engagement ring to give Tommy.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy works to overcome some fears and Adam deals with life in his world and the consequences of being him.
> 
> I do not know or own them, this is all fantasy and I make no money from this. If you want to archive this story elsewhere, please ask. Lastly, If you like what you read, let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! I have gotten some great ring feedback and I think I have the ring picked out although I may have worked out something just by the suggestions. So you are feeding my muse again. Anyway, I sit here watching Adam concerts while I write this and while I LOVE so many of the Original High songs, his shows lack something without Tommy up there. It is like there is no warmth, its just singing. He isn't as fun or sexy. Just my views. Anyway, in my head they are together and ridiculously happy and having hot passionate sex. Leave me to my fantasies. 
> 
> Now on to the story....

Tommy slowly resumed his teaching schedule and was bemused at how fulfilled his life had become. It was full of friends and family; activity and love. This is what he remembered. This is what life had been like prior to the separation from Adam. Back when they were touring together. He missed Adam of course but they spoke daily and his friends kept him busy and happy. 

Adam was working the crowds and enjoying his shows again. He enjoyed touring with Queen and loved keeping this legendary music alive. He couldn't deny he couldn't wait to be home for an extended period of time though. He wanted lots of uninterrupted snuggle time with the love of his life. He wanted a romantic proposal. He wanted to curl up in bed with Tommy and plan their wedding. He wanted to go over all their hopes and dreams. He wanted to talk about children and see if that was something Tommy was really interested in. 

He thought about all this a lot while he was on stage. They worked to get a residency for several shows in Vegas so that he could at least be stationary and not far from Tommy for a bit. He almost wished Tommy hadn't gotten Etta. Adam was sure he could have gotten Tommy to come visit him by now but he knew Etta was good for Tommy. He would never begrudge his kitten anything that helped him feel safer. 

Their phone chats and skype dates just didn't always suffice. The band dragged him to a bar after a show one night and lost himself in the music. He danced with abandon and had several partners immediately move to him. As long as they danced respectfully he didn't care. 

He didn't notice when the tiny twink danced closer. Adam’s eyes were closed and he was wishing that Tommy was more into dancing like he was. Tommy had never been the type though; he had always sat on the sidelines and watched and cheered you on. They had danced a couple times and it was always far too exciting for him. He thought back to the club they had gone to after the show in London. Both pleasantly drunk and more than a little high he had coaxed Tommy out onto the dancefloor and grinded against him to much enjoyment. Tommy had dropped his head against Adam’s shoulder and let Adam guide his movements. It had been so hot and looking back on it, Adam now realized Tommy was starting to realize his feelings for Adam at that point and was likely just as turned on as he had been. He grinned a bit as his body reacted slightly to his line of thinking. He thought wistfully of how they would likely already be married and none of the last year would have happened if they had just admitted their feelings back then. 

Adam realized too late that someone had invaded his personal space and opened his eyes to the touch of lips against his as a hand cupped his junk. The tiny blonde in front of him looked shocked when he determinedly pushed him back. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Adam asked angrily. 

The blonde grinned and licked his lips and said something in another language that Adam didn’t understand. One of Adam’s companions translated for him. “He says he would love to take care of that for you, no strings attached.”

Adam shook his head no and the boy looked disappointed. A year or more ago he would have taken this boy to a darkened corner or a bathroom and had his way with him but now, now not a chance in hell. “Tell him thanks but no thanks. I am taken and I don’t step out on Tommy no matter what or how.” He watched the sentiment be translated and the boy smiled and bowed to him and danced away. “Well time to go back to the hotel I guess.” Adam gave no more thought to that stolen kiss. 

He continued his tour and the days became weeks and the weeks months. Adam still hadn't found the perfect engagement ring yet but he looked in every town they hit. He knew it would speak to him when he found it. He woke in Greece and sipped his herbal green tea while looking out over the bright blue, crystal clear waters of the mediterranean sea. Terrance would be arriving today for a week long visit and he was looking forward to seeing his best friend. It had been way too long since he had gotten to just hang out and be free...be himself.

He opened social media and immediately froze when he saw dozens and incredibly angry tweets. Many of them asking how the hell he could do something like this to Tommy after what the blonde had been through. Others cheering at the demise of Adommy. Adam was thoroughly confused and started tracking back to find the original issue. He came across the picture and immediately felt sick. Someone had snapped a picture when that guy had kissed him. He may know that he had quickly pushed the guy away but the picture was snapped at just the right time and it looked bad...really bad.

He immediately grabbed his phone and tried to call Tommy. The other man didn’t answer. Fuck! Tommy never ignored his calls. Now for this to happen right as they had settled down and things were calm finally. Fuck! He tried again and it went straight to voicemail. Adam hung up without leaving a message. Was Tommy avoiding him now? He calculated the time in his head. He was 10 hours ahead of Tommy. It was 9 am here so 11pm there and it wasn’t like Tommy was a particularly early to bed type of guy. He wasn’t even a being in bed type of guy. Tommy had so many long term sleep issues, he rarely went to bed until he basically passed out from exhaustion. At least not unless Adam was there with him. Fuck. This was bad.

He kept trying for the next several hours; each time he went straight to VM. He wanted to respond to people online but he really needed to talk to Tommy first. He needed to explain before it got distorted. He needed to be sure they were ok. By the time it was close to time for Terrance to arrive he had worked himself fully into a frenzy and was well on his way to being drunk. The knock on his door finally came and he stumbled over and stared dumbfounded, blinking stupidly. “Tommy?” He finally got out.

“Hey babyboy, I tagged along with Terrance, I hope thats ok?” Tommy was nervously biting his lip, playing with the hem of his shirt and looking through his hair. 

“I thought you were mad at me..” Adam said worriedly. “You aren’t here to break up are you?” He felt sick at the thought and really wished he hadn’t had quite so much tequila. His head was kind of swimming and he was trying to sober up knowing that this was an important moment but it isn’t like you could force yourself sober. If so, no one would ever get a DUI. And then you could also have the ability to force yourself drunk and wouldn’t that be awesome at the right times? Adam was lost in his drunken thoughts that were rapidly spiraling out of control. He felt a cool hand touch his cheek and his eyes briefly focused on Tommy’s brown concerned ones.

“Babyboy? How much have you had to drink?” Tommy asked bemused.

“A lot. You weren’t answering my calls and that picture wasn’t what it looked like, I swear. I’ve been trying to call for hours…” His words cut off as Tommy put a finger over his lips.

Tommy had no idea what Adam was going on about but he would figure it out once Adam was sober. It had taken every ounce of his courage to leave his safe place and put himself in the heart of the madness that surrounded Adam but it was time and he needed to prove to himself that he could do this. He needed to show the world that Greg hadn’t beaten him; he hadn’t changed Tommy on a basic level. Tommy needed to prove to himself that he could still be a badass asshole who could stare a challenge in the face and spit at it. 

He shut the door behind them and led Adam over to the bed. He stripped Adam down to his boxers and then himself and pulled Adam on to the bed with him. He knew it was early but he figured a nap to sober up couldn’t hurt. He waited until Adam settled and started snoring lightly and then pulled his phone close and texted Terrance to let him know they would meet up for dinner. Then he looked at social media and immediately realized what Adam was talking about. He set his phone back down. They would deal with it later.

Adam woke as the sun was beginning to set and the breeze was blowing through the curtains. He remembered the horror of the earlier day and immediately reached for his phone to try to call Tommy again. He didn’t see it and rolled over to see Tommy in flesh coming out of the bathroom. “Kitten?” He said weakly. Tommy looked at him and then handed him some pain killers and water. 

“Take these and go shower, we are meeting Terrance in an hour to have dinner.” Tommy said with no expression and Adam felt his stomach drop. 

“I swear it wasn’t what it looked like in that picture!” Adam burst out with almost crying. “I swear to God that was the extent of what happened and I pushed him away immediately after that picture was taken. Honestly it was a split second.” Adam was absolutely freaking.

“Babyboy…..” Tommy tried to interrupt but Adam just kept rambling. “ADAM.” Tommy said sternly and Adam immediately got quiet and looked at Tommy, his lip trembling. “Stop.” Tommy added quietly. He handed Adam the medicine and water he had not yet taken and waited quietly for Adam to take it. “I’m going to ask questions and I want short answers.” He waited until Adam nodded. 

“Is this freak out about that photo?” Tommy asked and Adam nodded. “Are you thinking I am here to break up with you because of it?” Adams lip trembled and he nodded again. “Is that why you got drunk?”

“I couldn’t reach you and I kept calling.” 

Tommy finally smiled and touched Adam’s face gently. “Babyboy, I don’t care about that picture. I know you better than that. Even if I had seen it before I got on that plane, I wouldn’t have cared. I trust you. I know you wouldn’t do anything. I know how the paps are. Terrance and I have been planning this trip to get me past this fear of crowds and traveling and everything. You need to have as much faith in us as I do. You have to quit thinking I am going to break up with you. I’m here, this is it. You and I are for good. There is no one else for me. Not ever. I will not break up with you. I cannot foresee any reason why I would ever leave you. So trust me the way I trust you.”

Adam took a deep breath and let a couple tears fall before he gathered himself together and nodded. “You are so right, Kitten. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. That is my mistake and it won’t happen again. I promise.” He sat up on the edge of the bed and Tommy leaned down and kissed him gently. 

“I’m stronger than you think I am, Adam.” Tommy said with some strength in his voice. 

Adam looked surprised. “I know you are. I know how strong you are.” 

Tommy’s lips quirked up in a flirty grin. “Lets test your strength while you shower.” 

Adam groaned and followed Tommy into the shower to get some loving in before they had to leave. They were slightly rushed but even with that, they were so relieved to be together again that the slippery hands bathing each other was all the foreplay they really needed. Afterwards while Adam was getting ready Tommy sent out a tweet. 

~~If you call yourself an Adam fan than you should absolutely know better than to have believed there is any more to that picture than a split second in time. Adam is the most loyal person I have ever met and he would never betray someone he loved, much less in such a public way. If you believed this even for a second, shame on you. Adam and I are still together and going strong. For those of you who are relieved to hear that, thank you. For those who are disappointed. Go fuck yourself. We are happy.~~

He grinned and fixed his eyeliner. Adam emerged in a cloud of steam from the bathroom, blue jeans that made his long legs seem even longer, boots and a sparkly sleeveless shirt. He made Tommy’s mouth water. Adam immediately stalked over and grabbed Tommy by the back of the neck and jerked him in for a searing kiss. “I saw what you posted, good Kitten. Well said.”

Tommy moaned into his mouth. “I’ve missed your dominant side.” He said with a smirk.

“We can definitely explore that again Kitten. You know the safe word. I just had to be sure you could take it.” Adam said in a slightly dangerous sexy voice.

“I can always take you.” Tommy said and flipped his hair and sashayed out of the room. Adam laughed as he followed his lover out of the room and went to meet his friends. This visit had just become one of the best things ever.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinners, dates, fun in the sun, panic attack and a few special purchases...
> 
> As always, this is fiction and does not in any way show reality as we know it, unfortunately. I write because I love to write, I love to dream and it comes out through this medium. I know several AMAZING artists who draw Adommy and they seem to inspire me to write. So to them, one in particular, this chapter is for you. I make no money from this story. Please don't steal my story, I have enough fans of it that they would discover it pretty quickly. If you wish to host or archive this story it may only be done with my express permission. If you like what you read, please let me know! I love you all!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers! Thank you all for your submissions on the engagement rings. You all sent such perfect ones I had a hard time choosing. Thank you all so much! For those whose rings were not chosen, please know that I loved EVERY SINGLE suggestion sent to me. I just went with what I thought would most work for these boys. That and what would fit in with the narrative. This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful Adommy artists that inspire me, the amazing fans I have met who reach out to me (Jess I am looking at you); the friends I have made over this fandom and most importantly to the men themselves who inspire such amazing people as all of you are. 
> 
> On to the story:

Dinner with Tommy and Terrance did wonders to ease any lingering worries Adam had. Terrance had made them reservations at Dinner in the Sky. It was this table/restaurant that lifted you up to look out over the city while you ate dinner. You wore a harness and it was almost like a ride. Tommy of course hated the height and was terrified but went along with it because he knew it was somewhere Adam had always wanted to try. He had gotten big on facing his fears though and he figured this was a big and life long one to face. He had to admit, height aside, it was romantic and beautiful. Eventually he was able to relax.

Terrance always knew how to make Adam laugh and Tommy was holding Adam’s hand on top of the table for everyone to see. It wasn’t possessive, in fact Adam doubted Tommy even noticed. It was just Tommy’s way of ensuring they maintained their connection. Terrance looked at their hands and winked at Adam when Tommy wasn't looking. Adam just blushed. They ate a five course meal at the table with several others who had paid for the same experience. Two couples and a family with parents, grandparents and two children rounded out their companions. All were friendly and fun companions and the children made it magical through their innocent reactions.

They talked and laughed late into the night, opting to go for coffee after the meal to extend the night. Cups of dark, thick and rich coffee fortified them. Then Terrance found a late night dance club and they went in. Tommy took up a seat and nursed a beer watched Terrance and Adam hit the dancefloor like the dance gods they were. He loved watching Adam dance. Those long legs just flowing in movement and the hips. Fuck me Adam was hot. Tommy would always love glammed out Adam but he loved this version too. Adam let his freckles show and was more natural. Tommy even loved the way Adam’s facial hair felt brushing his skin. Was it getting hot in here? I mean damn! Could the man get any hotter? 

Tommy grinned into his beer as he watched the men around the bar checking Adam out. “Look all you want boys, that bitch is mine.” Tommy muttered with a smirk. He drained the rest of his beer and headed onto the dancefloor. He may not love dancing but being close to Adam was a definite plus. Besides, jet lag was beginning to catch up to him and He was getting pretty tired which for Tommy was rare. He worked his way between Adam and Terrance. 

He immediately snuggled up to Adam as the larger man wrapped his arms around him. Tommy immediately sighed happily. This, right here, this was where he belonged. He felt Terrance dance up behind him and turned. Tommy wasn’t too comfortable having anyone but Adam behind him. He saw the apology in Terrance’s eyes, realizing what had happened but he just smiled letting his friend know it was ok. They danced together for a few minutes. Terrance in front and Adam behind. Tommy felt safe and protected between them and more than a little hot feeling Adam press against him from time to time. Feeling a hand slide across his hip was just a little tease. At one point he leaned his head back against Adam’s shoulder and the other man put his hand gently around Tommy’s throat the way he used to years ago on stage. He heard Adam chuckle when he moaned.

Feeling like he was about to drop, Tommy turned to let Adam know he was heading back to the hotel. He yawned and made his way to the door of the club. Tommy hadn’t been this sleepy in a long time. It wasn’t just that he was tired. He was almost always tired but this was the knowledge he would actually be able to sleep. He knew it was because Adam was with him. He headed into the alley that led to the hotel and froze as he spotted a man walking toward him. His mouth filled with the bitter taste of adrenaline and though he knew he could and should run, he was frozen in place. Even his vocal cords were frozen. Tommy knew he would be unable to make a sound. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and swung back to punch, catching himself at the last second when he registered Adam’s voice.

Adam saw how tired Tommy was and knowing there was no way in hell he was leaving Tommy alone, he and Terrance nodded and followed Tommy. They caught up with him when he stopped moving in the alley. Adam was talking about their plans for the next day and he saw Tommy freeze. The tenseness of his body alerted Adam and he could see Tommy shaking. He instantly stopped talking and moved closer to protect his lover. He gently reached out and touched Tommy. “Kitten?” He saw Tommy move to punch him and just waited. He saw the realization and watched Tommy pull the punch at the last moment. “Baby?” Adam said as softly as he could. Wanting to help but not knowing what to do.

“Adam.” The cry ripped free of Tommy’s throat painfully and sounding raw. 

Adam immediately pulled Tommy into his arms. “It’s ok, Kitten, you are safe, baby. He isn’t here. ” he whispered into his lover’s ear soothingly. “I will protect you, baby. No one can hurt you.” He gently rubbed Tommy’s back and motioned for Terrance not to touch Tommy when the other man reached out to do that very thing. “Shh….its ok baby. He isn’t here. It's just us. He can never hurt you again.”

As Tommy calmed he became embarrassed that this had happened in such a public place. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He said, humiliated. The guy who had spooked him had drawn level with them and nodded as he passed. Tommy looked down in shame. 

“No, Kitten. You did nothing wrong and you have nothing to apologize for.” Adam said sternly. 

“Tommy… “ Terrance said softly and Tommy looked over to him. “You are doing so awesome. You have always been a homebody but then to go through what you have… made it even worse and yet you are fighting. You have braved coming to visit Adam on the road. Not just in the US but in Greece. You already hated flying and now you have added more fears on top and yet here you are anyway. I am so proud to know you, man!” 

Tommy paused looking at him. Finally he nodded and drew himself upright, standing with more strength and pride. Adam smiled and mouthed thank you over Tommy’s shoulder. “Ok.” He said softly. He drew in a long shaky breath and then let it out slowly. “Ok.” This time it was much firmer. “Thank you both. I’m better now.”

“Then lets go back to the hotel and get some sleep. Tomorrow we can enjoy the beach some.” Adam told them both. Tommy crossed his arms in front of him protectively but nodded. 

They settled in for the night and Tommy had a thankfully restful and deep sleep curled protectively in Adam’s arms. Adam didn't sleep long and spent most of his time watching Tommy sleep and marveling over his strength. Terrance was right. Tommy was facing so many fears just to be here. His lover was the total package in every way. 

Tommy lay on the white beach under an umbrella and watching Adam and Terrence frolic in the soft waves. It was bright with the light reflecting off both the white sand and the clear blue waters. It was hot but he was pleasantly comfortable under the large umbrella️ which was keeping his pale skin pale instead of lobster red. He loved that his friends understood how delicate his pale skin was and didn't push him to be out in it. 

He watched Adam walking toward him with purpose. Water dripping off the blue and green board shorts he wore. White sand caking his wet feet and ankles, though Tommy could still see some black toe polish and that made him grin. The attraction of feet…. Weird but that was the strength of the Lambert magnetism. His eyes worked their way up the abs, touching briefly on the new tattoo on his rib cage. Antinous the devoted lover of Roman Emperor Hadrian. Adam had told him of their romance before getting the tattoo. Tommy didn't care. If it was important to Adam, that's all that mattered to him. 

He was startled from his reflections when cold drops of water hit his chest. He looked up wondering when Adam had reached him. The other man was smiling. “Lost in daydreams, Kitten?” Adam asked. 

Adam had seen Tommy and had watched the love of his life protectively. Tommy seemed fine today if he was being honest with himself. He was dressed in black board shorts and a white tank top. A large white hat covered his head and he was completely shaded by a large umbrella. While Adam wished he could have Tommy in his arms under the waves but his lover was the palest of the pale and would burn walking 10 feet under this sun. Besides, his pale skin made those tattoos stand out even more. While Adam didn't like the horror aspect, the contrast between Tommy’s pale skin and the vibrant tattoos was mesmerizing. 

Tommy grinned up at Adan. “Just watching this really hot guy who was playing in the ocean.” 

“Who is he? I’ll teach him a lesson.”

Tommy giggled. “He’s a famous rock star. And he’s my boyfriend.” He added with a grin before letting out a grunt when Adam, wet, landed on him and kissed him into oblivion. When Adam finally stood back up, Tommy’s front half was wet from Adam’s suit and skin. They were both hard and Tommy had a delightfully glazed expression on his face. 

“That will teach him to attract your attention.” Adam said with a giggle. 

“Huh?” Tommy articulated finally and blinked up at Adam. Adam’s smile was infectious. Tommy stood too. “I think I am going to head back to the room… and take a cold shower and watch a movie before dinner.” He said with a smile.

“You sure, Kitten? You want company?” Adam’s thought flitted to the night before. 

Tommy shook his head. “I’m fine babyboy. Stay and have fun. I’ll see you in a couple hours.” Tommy kissed him softly and with a grin strolled away. 

On the way back to the hotel something caught Tommy’s eye and he stepped into the store for a closer look. A shiny black ring with an electric blue stripe around the top and a circle of diamonds around the bottom. It was a masculine ring that was a more subtle and rock and roll look than most. When he looked it was Adam’s size. Tommy grinned. It was meant to be. With a nod, Tommy bought the ring. If Adam proposed first then Tommy would give him this and if he didn't do it soon enough… well then Tommy would propose instead. 

He whistled as he made his way back to the Penthouse Suite at the King George. He took his time to really explore the large suite. Two separate bedrooms, seperate large bathrooms, a sitting room, dining room and private terrace with its own pool rounded it out. Deciding he wanted to run, he made his way to the elegant exercise room and ran five miles on the treadmill before hitting the sauna for awhile. He pondered the hotel. Adam didn’t usually go for such opulence but the room had features like the private pool and sunken bath that he knew Adam liked. He also knew Adam was planning for Terrance to visit and wanted to treat him like a king. Adam always wanted to treat the people he cared about. With that in mind... he spent the afternoon taking a long hot bath and treating himself. After that, he painted his nails while watching an old western that was playing. 

While Tommy was enjoying himself, so were Adam and Terrance. They had a lot of fun on the beach and then decided to hit the shops on the way home. It was on the way that Adam stopped dead looking in a window. That was it. Finally he had found the perfect one. Adam went in and asked to see the ring. While the shopkeeper went to fetch it, Adam met Terrance’s questioning eyes. “I’m going to propose and I’ve been looking for a ring and I think I just found it.” He explained. Elated, Terrance gave steady and heartfelt congratulations. 

It was a masculine half silver half black band with a silver design of swirls and almost like a branch with leaves across the black half and Love Conquers All in black on the silver half. The design was beautifully etched and once Adam held the band in his hand, He saw that the phrase was repeated twice so that no matter how the band was turned, you could see the words. It was absolutely and utterly perfect. It was like it had been made for them specifically. Adam immediately bought the ring. He couldn’t stop smiling. “I don’t know when, but its coming soon.” He said with a grin and Terrance clapped him on the back in congratulations again. The store owner marveled that he had had not one but two American men find the perfect engagement rings in his store in one day. 

By the time the other two men got back to the hotel; Tommy had arranged for an intimate dinner in their room on the balcony overlooking the city. Adam could enjoy the view and Tommy was safely on solid ground. They all thoroughly enjoyed the meal and the wine that came with it. By the time Terrance excused himself to give them some time alone, Tommy was a bit buzzed. Without allowing himself to think much he stood and pulled off his shirt looking the whole time at Adam. Then he undid his belt and watched Adam’s pupils dilate and fixate on what he was doing. Feeling sexier than he had perhaps ever, Tommy drew it out and ever so slowly removed his clothing.

“One problem with being so damn pale is that I don’t get to enjoy shenanigans with you in the water.” Tommy said softly with a teasing smile. “But it's night time. And we have this beautiful private pool. No one can see us and there are no paps around and this is one time we don’t have to be careful.” He finished his sentence as he slid his pants off revealing himself in all his glory to Adam. He stood still letting Adam enjoy the view for a moment. Turning his back to Adam, he dipped his toes in the water before slowly moving down the steps. He looked over his shoulder at the bottom looking back at Adam who was frozen in place, fist clenching his pants side to keep him from moving and very obvious erection straining the pants. “You coming?” He asked coyly.

“Not yet, but I plan to be.” Adam called back wryly and divested himself of his own clothing far faster than should have been possible. He had Tommy in his arms backed against the wall, hands pinned to the wall; moaning his name in no time. Warm water lapping at the skin merely heightened the sensations they were creating together. Under a starry sky, they cried out their passions to each other and swallowed moans of ecstacy and happiness. It was a good night.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment… 
> 
> I do not know or own them, to the best of my knowledge this is complete fiction. I make no money from this and write solely for the love of it. Do not steal my story. If you like what I write, let me know!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! Thank you guys for the inspiration you sent. I am going to apologize in advance, my song writing sucks so please look at the sentiments and not the actual song which Adam would absolutely hate. Anyway, here you go and I hope you enjoy. Not much left now.

Adam left the room quietly, closing the door softly behind him hoping it wouldn't wake Tommy. Tommy was actually sleeping heavily but Adam just couldn’t wait any longer. He had the ring, it was time to make the call. He stood out on the terrace watching the sun come up as he dialed the number. 

“Hey, It's Adam.” He said as it was picked up and listened for a moment. “No! No he is fine. I was calling for a different reason…” he laughed. “Yeah, sorry didn't mean to scare you… he actually seems to be doing pretty well, really well honestly… I absolutely would let you know… of course. Listen I called because I need to ask you something. You know I love your brother and I have been looking for the perfect time to ask…. Uh huh…. Oh you did?” He laughed again. “Well you are his sister and I needed someone’s blessing...I was going to wait but I just can’t wait anymore. I want the ring on his finger. Then I thought I could fly everyone over and then I thought about…. EXACTLY! he would have hated that. So anyway. I’m proposing soon, I don't know when yet but soon...I think maybe today and I just wanted to ask for your blessing...thank you. I love you too.” With a smile he hung up the phone. 

He then dialed room service and requested breakfast to be delivered. Not long later, he answered the door and gestured where to put the tray. As the room service man set up their breakfast, Adam tapped on Terrance’s door lightly, letting him know breakfast had arrived. He tipped the room service guy and signed for the meal.

Terrance strolled out behind him and they immediately put their heads together. “I need some help planning. I can’t wait anymore. I have to ask him. I can wait forever for him to be my husband but I have to see the ring on his finger.” Terrance grinned. Adam was like a little boy on field trip day or on Christmas, unable to contain himself. Terrance decided to pick on Adam some.

“Are you sure he will say yes?” He teased with a wink.

Adam laughed and clapped him goodnaturedly on the back. “Shut up! He will absolutely say yes! Can you get him out of here for a few hours? I need to set things up.” Terrance immediately kissed his cheek. 

“Of course I can. It is my pleasure to help. I will also go clubbing after so that you guys can have your time.” 

“Thank you so much, Terrance!” Adam grinned. 

Tommy appeared behind them wiping his eyes tiredly. “What’s going on?” He asked sleepily, immediately folding himself against Adam and snuggling in with a yawn. Terrance smiled immediately. 

“Nothing much TJ. Adam was just telling me he has an interview here with The Advocate and we were figuring out where to be. Are you wanting to stay here during the interview?” Terrance asked and Adam’s head snapped up with a look of panic but Terrance just kept his face blank. 

“The interview is here?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, sorry Kitten.” Adam said and kissed Tommy’s forehead. 

“Terrance, you wanna go find some stuff to do with me?” Tommy asked.

“Sure thing TJ. I’ll hang with you and we will find something to do.” He looked over at Adam. “They will be here in a couple hours, correct?” 

“Yeah.” Adam agreed. “I went ahead and ordered breakfast so we could eat.” he rubbed Tommy’s back and kissed his forehead again. “You want some coffee and breakfast, Kitten?” Tommy just nodded. Adam laughed and let go of Tommy to pour them some coffee. 

Tommy followed Adam and grabbed a plate. He got a spoonful of eggs scrambled with tomatoes, green olives and feta cheese; a slice of olive bread and some butter and a bowl of yogurt topped with honey. He passed up the spinach spanakopita. He knew Adam loved it, hell Tommy wasn’t opposed to it but not for breakfast. He would never understand Greeks eating it for breakfast. He sat and methodically ate his breakfast and drank his coffee and life slowly seeped onto his face. He finally awakened enough to start focusing on the conversation. “What time should we head back?” Tommy asked.

“Good morning baby!” Adam teased with a grin. “About 5 I think.” 

Tommy smiled at his teasing. “Ok, babyboy. Its ok that I don’t want to be here for it, right?” 

“Of course baby. I know you aren’t one for attention.” Adam said with a smile. 

“Ok, I’m going to grab a shower and get ready.”

30 minutes later, Tommy reappeared, dressed and with sunglasses on. Terrance grabbed their room keys and said bye. Tommy hugged and kissed Adam and followed Terrance out. As soon as they left Adam started putting his plan into action. He made several calls and got things moving forward. 

Adam got an attack of nerves just before the guys were due back. Everything was in place and then Adam realized he hasn't asked his most valued source for their blessing or advice so he nervously placed the call. 

“Mom?”

“Adam, honey, how wonderful to hear from you. How is Greece?”

“Its great Mom. Really gorgeous… “ Adam hesitated. 

“What's wrong, Adam?” His mother's gentle tone of concern soothed Adam

“Nothing.” He said in a stronger tone. “Mama, you know Tommy’s the one, right?” His mother laughed. 

“Adam, I have known that since you two met.”

“I’m asking him to marry me… tonight.”

“Oh, Adam! That's wonderful!” Leila’s excited tone banished the last of Adam’s jitters.   
Adam started telling her all his plans and listened to her thoughts. By the time they were signing off Adam couldn't wait for his love to get back. 

Tommy and Terrance made a day of it, exploring the area, doing sightseeing and looking through the open air markets for treasures. Terrance made some friends when they stopped for coffee and made plans to meet up with them for dinner and dancing. He threw his arm around Tommy as they walked away. “That way, you and lover boy can get your freak on.” He joked but the heat in Tommy’s eyes said he planned to take advantage of just that. 

Finally Terrance and Tommy parted ways as Tommy headed back to the hotel. Terrance sent Adam a text letting him know. Tommy was humming as he entered their  
suite and stopped cold, looking around in wonder. 

Soft, supple and vibrant red rose petals created a path for his to follow. Soft glowing candle️ light created an impressively romantic mood. He followed the petals into their room but there was no sign of Adam. There was a fluffy and luxurious bathrobe folded on the bed with a note on top. He ran his hand over the bathrobe and marveled at how soft it was. 

\--Kitten,   
T said he was staying out for the night so what better time to wine and dine you? Take a nice hot bath and relax then put on the robe and come join me on the deck. I love you. 

Tommy grinned. Well, never let it be said he couldn't follow instructions. He went into the bathroom and found a hot bubble bath already waiting for him. A tender smile crossed his face as he thought about how generous and kind Adam always was. Even though it cost nothing, how many people would have a bath drawn and ready just to pamper you? He slid into the bubbles and gave an appreciative sigh. 

Thirty minutes later, muscles deliciously loose and feeling the first pangs of hunger, Tommy ventured to the deck, enjoying the caress of the robe on his bare skin. He padded barefoot out and found a candlelit table set with… was that tacos and beer ?? He laughed and then felt Adam’s arms surround him gently and felt a kiss to the nape of his neck. 

Tommy turned in Adam’s arms and kissed him. “This is fucking awesome.” Tommy said. “How the hell did you find tacos here?” He saw Adam was dressed similarly in a bathrobe and the white robe made the darker hair stand out. It made Adam look mouth watering. 

Adam laughed. “I researched and found a place called Taqueria Maya and when I spoke to them, low and behold, the owner is from Cali and moved here to open a restaurant. The reviews are awesome and they just got here so let's eat while they are hot.” He kissed Tommy again and then led him over to the table. 

They enjoyed the various spicy tacos immensely and washed it down with ice beers. When he finally threw down his napkin and drained his beer, Tommy patted his stomach contentedly. “That was so good, babyboy. Thank you for finding my favorite food.”

“Only the best for you, kitten.” Adam said with a smile. “They were excited to provide dinner for us.” He drained his own beer. “Did you get enough to eat?”

“I’m stuffed to the fucking gills.” Tommy said with a laugh. Adam took his hand and laced their fingers together. 

“Tommy, we have been through so much over this past year. Some has been amazing, some sexy, some heart breaking and some so painful it has had me wanting to run for the hills. I admit that there have been times I have doubted that we could make it through all this together. It all just seems insurmountable like the whole world is against us. It gets me down and breaks my heart sometimes.” Adam admitted, his eyes shining wetly with unshed tears.

“Then I look at you. This amazing guy who is smart, funny, sexy as hell, compassionate and strong. Most of all strong. You hold it together so much better than anyone else ever could. When I get down, I look at you and what you have been through and I know that no matter what, I can't quit because you haven't.” Adam paused. “Baby, I can't imagine not having you in my life for the rest of my life.”

“Won’t happen, Babyboy.” Tommy said passionately and Adam smiled in response. 

“I know it won't.” He said. “I’m doing this very badly and going about this all wrong. I’m just trying to say that we both know that this is it. This is the last relationship I will ever care about because for me there can never be anyone else.” Adam slid the ring box subtly out of his pocket. “What I’m trying to say is that I want this official.” He dropped to his knee and opened the ring box, holding it up for Tommy. “Thomas Joseph Ratliff, will you marry me?”

Tommy sat gaping at him and the ring in shock. “What? But I was gonna…… NO!” He said and jumped up and ran into the suite. 

Bemused at what was happening, Adam watched and slowly stood up nervously. He watched Tommy running back, bathrobe dangerously close to flying open in his hurry. He skidded to a stop in front of Adam. 

“I didn't expect it tonight. Fuck, I wasn't ready.” Tommy said and chewed on his lip for a minute. Adam watched with an eyebrow raised. “Adam Mitchell Lambert, everything that I am is thanks to you. I never really fit anywhere until I met you and I realized the reason I didn't fit anywhere else was because I was made for you and you alone. No matter what we have to go through, as long as you are at the end of it, then it was worth it.” He dropped to one knee and opened the box. “So, Adam, will you marry me?”

Adam roughly in his emotional state but without pain jerked Tommy up and kissed him soundly. Lost in the moment Tommy wrapped his legs around Adam’s thighs and held on for dear life. Their tongues tangled and wrestled, sliding sensually against each other. 

Adam finally ended the kiss by putting their foreheads together. “Yes, I will marry you.” He said with a smile.

“Not if I marry you first.” Tommy teased and dropped lightly to his feet. Adam showed Tommy his ring and slid it gently onto Tommys hand. Tommy then did the same for Adam. “I thought I had a few days to prepare before I asked but there you go jumping the gun.” He teased. 

“I couldn't wait any longer.” Adam admitted. “I finally found that ring yesterday and that was it. If you want a long engagement that's fine, I just needed to see my ring on your finger.” He ran a hand carassingly over Tommy's face and neck as if he couldn't touch him enough. “I don't care if we go public with it, I just needed to see it.”

“So what you are saying is you wanted to claim me.” Tommy said with a teasing smile. “You want to be all possessive and claim me as yours.” He tugged gently on the rope that held Adam’s bathrobe closed, letting it fall open. “I am yours, Adam. Mind, body and soul is all yours.” He slid his hand down Adam’s torso to gently fist around Adam’s rapidly expanding manhood. “I am yours and you are mine. I don't care if we announce it to the world. I don’t care if we marry tomorrow or years from now. Either way you own me.” His hand stroked Adam as he pulled Adam’s head to meet his lips. 

Adam moaned into Tommy’s mouth, his hand tangling in Tommy’s hair and holding him close while he devoured every last taste in Tommy’s mouth. His eyes full of molten heat, he pulled back to watch Tommy’s hand moving on his flesh. It was an erotic sight to behold. His own hands tugged Tommy’s robe open. 

“I was going to be all romantic, I even wrote a song for you but with one touch I am lost.” He admitted. 

Tommy’s hand slowed. “You wrote a song for me?” He asked curiously and Adam nodded. “Can I hear it?”

Adam caressed Tommy’s cheek before pulling him in for a gentle kiss full of love and sweetness. He took his seat, pulling Tommy into his lap. Adam took a deep breath and began singing. 

Forever underneath these lights  
It's always so hot and lonely  
For years, I’ve spent my nights  
Dreaming of you, you’re so lovely

You have always been a contradiction  
An intriguing puzzle that needed solving  
Better, my love, than any paperback fiction  
Our epic romance continues evolving

We have finally found our one  
It took a hard road to find each other  
No more searching, I'm finally done  
You are everything to me, my lover  
The road up, the road down  
East to west heading there or nowhere  
No matter which way I am bound  
To you for all time as long as you dare  
Im yours

We’ve seen the fire in the damage men can do  
We've seen the ice when you had nothing left to lose  
We've wasted far too much time babe  
It's our time now, we've got it made  
You are my dreams made right  
The complete package to hold all night  
I want you every time I see you  
The feelings whelm up as if love were new

We have finally found our one  
It took a hard road to find each other  
No more searching, I'm finally done  
You are everything to me, my lover  
The road up, the road down  
East to west heading up or nowhere  
No matter which way I am bound  
To you for all time as long as you dare  
Im yours

Whatever you want of me is yours  
Our battles are over, no more wars  
Wrapped up in you alone or in a crowd  
I cannot hide my love, I claim you out loud  
Everything that I am and all I am worth  
Has been yours for the taking, determined at birth

We have finally found our one  
It took a hard road to find each other  
No more searching, I'm finally done  
You are everything to me, my lover  
The road up, the road down  
East to west heading up or nowhere  
No matter which way I am bound  
To you for all time as long as you dare  
Im yours

I’m yours yours yours  
I’m yours yours yours  
I’m yours yours yours  
Forever

Tommy listen intently. He knew Adam would polish it and make changes if he ever decided to record the song but for now and for him, the raw version was gorgeous. When Adam grew quiet Tommy kissed him again. “That was fucking gorgeous babyboy.” He said and brought Adam’s left hand to his face kissing the fingers and the ring that now sat there. “Now where were me my love… “ his hand slid back down and grasped himself this time as he rocked and grinded against Adam. 

“You are so fucking hot, kitten. I love when you take control like this.” Adam’s eyes were once more molten lava as he watched Tommys movements. He prepared himself as quickly as he could and within moments was sinking into Tommy to both men’s satisfaction. Hands linked together and bodies joined, they had gentle hip rolls combined with hard thrusts. Gentle kisses and rough bites. Both left their marks on the other, another form of claiming but one they both enjoyed. 

“I love you, my fiancee.” Adam gasped as he hit his orgasm. 

“I love you, my husband.” Tommy replied and followed his lover into bliss.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A queen show and preparing for the future.
> 
> I do not know or own them and to the best of my knowledge, this is complete fiction. I write for the love of writing and not for any monetary gain. If you like what I write please let me know. If you wish to host or publish this story to any other site, please ask permission first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jessie, its here its here!!! lol. Hello my lovlies! I had to restart this chapter and start over because I needed to include the Queen show. I apologize for the wait. It is looking like two more chapters after this one though Jessie has my mind spinning on a epilogue so that is possible. I am planning another story but it is going to be an AU and it will be much more sexual than this one so fair warning. I will finish this one first however. 
> 
> Tommy is preparing for trial and I am coming up with the questions he will be asked while on the stand. If you have any ideas let me know. 
> 
> Now to the story...

Adam finished his makeup and looked in the mirror to see Tommy fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. “You ok, kitten?” He asked softly. 

“What if I freak out while you are singing and the show is ruined?” Tommy said softly. 

“You will be in the green room. If you freak out the only one there to see it or hear it will be Terrance. It will be ok my love. You don’t have to do this.” Adam took his hands and squeezed gently. “You never have to be at a show again. It will be fine.”

Tommy gave a slight but scared smile. “Baby boy, singing is your life. I can’t not be a part of something that means so much to you. Besides, I love music too and I can’t live the rest of my life without that. It is a bond.” He reached up and caressed Adam’s cheek. “It is what brought us together and kept us going all that time. I can’t imagine a life with you without music being a part of it. I will be fine. This is a good test. It will be your voice but not the songs that I heard. It shouldn’t trigger anything...I hope.” 

Adam moved in to kiss Tommy but stopped when he felt Tommy’s hand on his chest. “Don’t mess up your makeup babyboy. I will get you all dirty tonight.” He promised with a smirk. 

“I love you Thomas.” Adam said.

“I love you too, Adam.” Tommy responded. “Now get out there and give the best show of your life.” Tommy grinned and strutted out, hiding his jitters. He joined Terrance in the green room overlooking the stage right as the lights went down. Terrance took his hand gently and Tommy smiled at him. 

Adam hit the stage and the crowd went nuts. He looked out over the crowd and hit the first few notes and glanced up at Tommy. He saw his fiancee smile down at him and blow him a kiss. Gaining confidence, Adam threw himself into the show and gave it his all. “Fuck me.” Tommy muttered. “I always somehow forget how fucking hot he is when he owns that stage.” Terrance started laughing. 

“He is at that. And just think, he is going to be your husband.” Terrance replied with a wink.

“Yes he is!” Tommy said, beaming with happiness. “His legs are like 6 miles long and then he wears heels and they look even longer. I swear he introduces me to kinks I never knew I had.” Terrance busted into laughter. 

“I know exactly what you mean, TJ.” 

The show went on and everything was fine. There was a tense moment when Lucy began with it being one of Adam’s songs but it wasn't one of the songs Greg had focused on so although he tensed, Tommy relaxed as he realized nothing was going to happen. Tommy breathed a sigh of relief. Looking down at the crowd, he realized that his being in Greece wasn't as much of a secret as he believed. He saw a couple cameras aimed his way and he waved to a couple fans before ducking back so he couldn't be seen while blushing. 

The next morning Tommy packed while Adam watched. “You sure you have to go home, Kitten?” Adam pouted. “We just got engaged, we could see the world together and have romantic nights every night and start planning our lives together.” 

Tommy grinned and kissed Adam lightly before resuming his packing. “I have to, babyboy. I don't like being away from Etta so soon after getting her.”

“You know Emma is taking great care of her and Pharoah.”

“I know she is. That's why I asked her to take care of Etta. I didn't expect Pharoah to refuse to leave her though.” Tommy laughed. “Our mutts are as bonded as us.” He grew more serious. “The prosecutor called and he wants to start preparing me for the trial.” 

Adam stepped closer and tipped up Tommy’s chin. “You know I will be right there. Don’t you? I have one month left and then I’ll be home. I would never have you go through that trial without me.” 

Tommy gave a ghost of a smile. “I know…” His voice in barely a whisper he continued. “I’m really scared. The thought of seeing him again absolutely terrifies me.”

“He can’t touch you baby. You will be in court across from him but he can’t touch you, I will be right there and so will police men. You will be safe, I promise.”

“I know I will but that doesn’t take away the fear.” Tommy said. Adam could do nothing but kiss his fiancee and hope this all went well. Adam helped him finish his packing. “You and Terence have fun for your last couple days.” Tommy said mock sternly. 

“I will.” Adam said with a sigh. “I’ll keep him busy.” His face lit up for a second. “A couple selfies?” He gave a little begging pout on his lips and Tommy immediately laughed. 

“You know the fans love your dorkiness, right?”

“As long as you do. “ adam answered in a song song voice. 

They took several selfies together. Some were goofy with silly faces or tongues out. A few were with angry or stern faces. The last few were loving pictures containing kisses and caresses and smiles. Their favorite which Adam immediately tweeted out was him kissing Tommy’s cheek as Tommy rolled his eyes but the blonde's elated smile and slight blush made it obvious how much he was enjoying the attention. 

They took a few moments to kiss and snuggle and and look at the photos before Tommy zipped his bag closed. He took a deep breath and turned around. “One more month and you’ll be home.” He whispered. 

“I will. I will be with you through the trial and then we can start planning our lives together. You’ll call me every day and let me know how each interview goes?”

“Absolutely.” Tommy gave a weak grin. “I just can't wait for all this to be over.”” He bit his lip and looked through his hair at Adam. “I don’t want an long engagement. Do you?” 

“Baby, I just want you.” Adam said honestly. “I want you however I can have you. If you want a long engagement, done. If you want to get married tomorrow, done. As long as the end result is you and I together forever, I am good with it.” 

Tommy grinned. “As soon as the trial is over, can we start planning the wedding?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely. We are gonna have the most gorgeous wedding and I will spend the rest of my life making your every dream come true.” Adam promised.

“You already do, fucker.” Tommy teased.

They kissed again and Tommy left for the airport. He texted Adam as soon as he got through security and then sat in the first class lounge and waited for his flight. It was weird. Tommy was more a regular class kind of guy. His favorite food was tacos for fucks sake. He was a low maintenance kind of guy. Tommy was fine in cheap motels and economy class flights. Adam was low maintenance as well. But he does like some really fancy things at the same time. Top shelf tequila like Don Julio, expensive shoes and expensive hotels. Especially when people he loves are going to be enjoying it too. Tommy could care less but he appreciated and loved the fact that Adam made sure he was being taken care of.

The flight was normal though Tommy doubted he would ever be relaxed when flying and he much preferred flying with or to Adam instead of away but still...it was a nice flight. When he finally got through customs, he saw Sutan waiting on him with a dozen red roses. “Vayvee!” Sutan called and jumped into his arms hugging him. Tommy just laughed.

“Adam wanted to make sure you got these.” Sutan said with a kiss to his cheek and then handing him the roses. 

“Thanks, Sutan.” Tommy grinned. “Let’s get out of here.”

Isaac was waiting in the car and surprised Tommy with hugs. They stopped at Tommy’s favorite burger joint and over lunch, Tommy caught them up on everything that had taken place while in Greece and he blushed as he showed off the ring. They offered lots of congratulations and a brief joyous time was spent throwing around wedding ideas. 

Finally Isaac cleared his throat. “So, first appointment with the prosecutor is today?”

Tommy sighed and his smile fell off. “Yeah. I’m supposed to be there in a couple hours. I have to go get Etta first and Sophia is going to meet us there. They are going to start prepping me. He said it is liable to be uncomfortable and awkward.” 

“Do you want us to have a slumber party with you tonight?” Isaac asked. “It might help after it to be safe and around safe people.”

Tommy thought about it. “I don’t know. It isn’t a bad idea but I don’t want to get to where I have to rely on people instead of on me. Does that make sense?” 

“Vayvee, we just want to support you however you need us to. How about we can be on call. You call us when you get done and we can decide then if you need us. We will be there for your fabulous little ass no matter what.” 

Tommy started laughing and the others followed soon after. It was agreed that it was logical that Tommy do so. They spent the next hour talking happily and enjoying each other’s company. When they finally parted ways, Tommy was much calmer and in a much better mood. 

Sophia was waiting for he and Etta and he grinned that she actually greeted Etta first and gave her smushed face several kisses before looking up at Tommy. She grinned and he laughed. “No worries, I greet the dogs first too.” He admitted.

“You ready for this?”

“Not really but it needs to happen.” Tommy shrugged. 

“It's going to be invasive and you will be offended but just remember the guy in there is on your side. It is his job to prepare you so that in the courtroom you are ready for whatever they throw at you. No matter how violated you feel, just try to remember that.”

Tommy nodded. The door to the office opened and they were shown in. He shook hands with the attorney and listened as pleasantries were exchanged. “Ok, so Tommy..is it ok for me to call you Tommy?” He paused and Tommy nodded. “Ok, Tommy, we are going to go into your background, we are going to dig deep and hard. It is going to be uncomfortable and invasive. If you need to take breaks just let me know. I just want to make sure when you are actually up on that stand and you are having to look at him, I don’t want you to freeze and be unable to speak. Make sense?” Tommy nodded again. “So that means I am going to ask you some mean and horrible questions. I am going to nitpick and I will insinuate things about you. My job is to make sure that when you are on that stand, not one question can rattle you.” 

Tommy licked his lips nervously. “But if I need you to stop for a minute…?”

“I will give you a break. I am not blind to what you have been through and for you to now have to do this is, I’m sure rather horrifying. You will be protected. I promise.” He leaned forward toward Tommy. “I promise you I will do everything in my power to make sure he can never hurt you again.” 

“Thank you.” Tommy answered. 

They spent several hours with Tommy answering background details of his life. Everything from romantic relationships to any drug or alcohol vices. They had to have an accurate background prior to beginning the questioning. By the time Tommy left he was exhausted. He called Isaac who met him at the house with pizza, beer and movies. It took a slice of pizza, two beers and half a movie and Tommy was fast asleep on the couch with Isaac gently rubbing his hair. He sent Adam a text letting him know Tommy was ok and was down for the night. Isaac was at a loss for how to protect his friends but he was going to do whatever he could.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial...
> 
> I do not know or own them, I write for the love of it and I make no money from this. If you like what I write, let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. The moment we have all been waiting for. Someone. No names mentioned *coughcoughJessiecoughcough** has been requesting one particular thing a lot so this is my answer to that. We are coming to the end of the story. I see one more chapter and a possible epilogue. I am planning on starting a new story but I may continue and finish Ketsele first. Any ideas for the boys wedding, please let me know. I love you guys more than you could ever imagine. Thank you!!! Your love of this story has kept me going.

“Breathe, Kitten, breathe.” Adam said softly, holding Tommy’s hands and gently rubbing them with his thumbs. “I will be right there. Just look at me.” 

Tommy nodded and licked his lips nervously. Standing outside the courtroom it was all suddenly real. He was about to go into the courtroom and testify against Greg. He was terrified and couldn’t wait for this to be over. He had listened to the testimony thus far though he had stayed out of sight. 

Tommy had heard the police responsible for his rescue testify what he had seen and the shape Tommy was in when found. He had heard the doctors testify to both his injuries and Greg’s state of mind. Adam had even testified to his former relationship and last had been Isaac testifying to his suspicious leading up to Greg kidnapping Tommy and then the search for Tommy. Tommy was the only one left. 

“I am going to marry you.” Adam said quietly. “I have wanted to vow myself to you since the day we met. Lets get through this and start planning our lives together.” Tommy gave a small smile at Adam’s words and nodded. 

“The prosecution calls Thomas Ratliff.” The voice called faintly and the courtroom doors opened and the courtroom guard nodded to him. Tommy took a deep breath and headed into the courtroom, staring at his feet the whole time. 

He pledged to tell the truth and took his seat, finally looking up and seeking Adam’s eyes. He realized the his therapist and several friends were surrounding Adam, giving Tommy friendly faces to look at. A huge knot in his chest loosens just a little and he is able to breathe better.

He answers the questions the prosecutor asks. They were all the questions he is prepared for so he is decently calm. He gives a brief history of his and Adam’s relationship and how it morphed into more. He settled down slightly as they followed the routine he had prepared for. Once the truth was out then it was the defenses turn. 

Tommy tensed and looked over at the defense table for the first time, not intending to even look at Greg but there he was. The undisguised hatred on his face evident. Tommy paled immediately and felt like he was going to throw up. He had a vivid flashback of being raped and immediately got up to run out. His fight or flight kicked in. 

Then just as suddenly, his view was blocked when the prosecutor stepped into his line of sight. Tommy turned his head and met Adam’s eyes. The love and compassion he saw settled him but he also saw concern and anger which melted away as soon as he saw he had Tommy’s attention. Adam mouthed I love you. And Tommy gave a sight smile back. He could do this and then it would be over. Then he could relax and enjoy life without this hanging over him. He took his seat again. 

“Mr. Ratliff it is apparent that you went through quite an ordeal.” Greg’s attorney started. “You have the entire courts sympathies with your injuries. I am however truly mystified at how you can leave out so blatantly your own involvement. The matter of your friendship with Mr. Lambert is public record but throughout that relationship you have repeatedly professed to be straight. Is that correct?”

“I was… I am straight.” Tommy asked confused. “Adam is my only exception.”

“So then you admit be is the only man you are interested in?”

“Correct.” Tommy answered unable to see where he was going with this. He glanced over to Adam and the other man smiled. 

“Let’s go back. What were you doing before you met Mr. Lambert? You were working in a call center, correct?” 

“Yes, I was. I was playing music on the side but to actually pay bills I had to find a job.”

“So you were in a job that you have repeated in many interviews was a career path you hated. You were living in an apartment with multiple roommates and here came Mr. Lambert. Gay, on the verge of being very successful. He took you away from your boring life and showed you all your dreams could come true.”

“Yes… “ Tommy said warily. 

“So why did you not admit this supposed love you had for him back then? He was kissing you on stage every night and sharing hotel rooms with you. All you wanted as you said was right there, why didn't you take it?”

Tommy shrugged. “By the time I realized how serious my feelings were, he was dating someone.“

“Right, right. That’s right. But you still got to tour and remain close for at least another tour so you kept in the position you wanted but you could remain straight.”

Tommy was beginning to understand where this was going and he wasn’t happy about it. The attorney hadn’t exactly asked a question so he stayed quiet. He looked over at Adam who just nodded encouragingly at him. The attorney began talking again. “So explain why you stopped touring with Mr. Lambert.”

“We agreed that it was time to stop.” Tommy answered shortly. 

“You are under oath Mr. Ratliff. So again, why did you stop touring with Mr. Lambert?”

“It was a mutual decision. I was ready to stop touring and be closer to home for awhile and Adam was ready to change things up.” Tommy said with a tight voice.

“I see. So you went home and Adam continued touring and getting bigger and eventually started touring full time with Queen. He broke up with his boyfriend of several years and didn’t begin dating anyone new. You went on to give guitar lessons to fans online, is that correct?”

“Yes, it is. I have played with a couple bands but nothing permanent.”

“So it is safe to say that you were still using your relationship with Adam to keep up professionally?”

“The fans were mine too.” Tommy said hotly.

“They were Adam’s fans and you were the guitarist he kissed. You have exploited your relationship with him for financial gain since you met and even after he dropped you from his band, you continued. Then when finally you couldn’t make a living off him any longer, that's when you finally admitted your feelings for Mr. Lambert.”

“That's not true.” Tommy burst out. “I have loved him for years. I was scared to tell him.”

“Yes you were scared everyone would find out so instead of quietly having the beginning of a relationship, you went on talk shows to do it while he was already there with my client.” 

“Objection. Combative and grandstanding.”

“Sustained. Limit to questions Counselor.”

“What was the real reason you were staying with Mr. Lambert?”

“To work on our relationship and find a way back to our friendship due to the distance created by Greg.”

“Isn't it true that you were there to work on your sobriety from alcohol and drug abuse?”

“My sobriety was part of the agreement between us for my being there, yes but It was to work on us.”

“So you were hurting financially and abusing drugs and then you move in with Adam and we are to believe it was about friendship and not about getting you 24 hour a day care for the month?”

“Was I using drugs? Yes. I was smoking weed and drinking trying to figure out what I had done to make the love of my life pull away from me and to find a way to sleep at night when the pain became too much. I’m not proud of that fact but it is still not why I was there.” Tommy defended himself eloquently. “I had everything ripped away from me by your client and yes I picked some bad coping mechanisms but once Adam and I started talking again, my need for those went away.”

“And how far into your stay did you discover my client’s relationship with Mr. Lambert? “

“A couple days. “

“Then you disappear with Mr. Carpenter for a day and when you return you suddenly profess your feelings for Mr. Lambert. Rather convenient timing.”

“If by convenient timing you mean we both finally got honest then yes, you are correct.”

“And it was right after this that Mr. Carpenter suddenly found his alleged evidence against my client.”

“For his stalking and psychotic antics? Yes.” Tommy quipped angrily. 

“One could say the same of you. He was happily in a relationship until your problems forced you together.”

“No matter how you try to twist our relationship, it doesn’t matter. I love him and he loves me and Greg was an assistant who stalked and did everything he could to keep us apart.” Tommy tipped up his chin defiantly. “Adam was not happy in their relationship because they weren’t in a relationship. Greg was his assistant that he used for sex occasionally.” Tommy realized how bad that sounded and clarified. “I mean, not that he used Greg. Adam is always up front with how he feels about people.”

“Except for you.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow at him,

“From what you say you both loved each other but didn't’t say it. You are saying he is always up front with his feelings but yet he wasn’t up front with you who you both say is and has been the most important person in each others lives. So here is my question. Were you lying then or now?”

“Neither… or both I guess. They are both true. You will have to ask him why he didn’t tell me but as for me I was terrified I would lose him if I spoke up.”

“And your relationship now that my client is out of the picture?” 

“Wonderful.” Tommy said meeting Adam’s eyes and blushing slightly as he looked down and twisted the engagement ring.

The attorneys eyes moved to the ring and widened. “Have you married?”

“No!” Tommy hesitated. “Not yet. We are waiting for this to be over.”

“YOU BITCH!” Greg roared. “He is MINE and you can’t have him!” He grabbed the bailiff next to him and had his gun within seconds. The screaming started just about the time the second gunshot sounded and Adam watched in horror as Tommy fell from his seat.

When the chaos finally calmed Adam rocked Tommy in his lap. He was not letting Tommy out of his arms, much less out of his sight. They gave their statements to the police. The jurors had been evacuated out immediately. Tommy’s friends and family had been allowed to stay and the attorneys, judge and the bailiffs. No one else was allowed in though it would be a chore to keep this from the media.

“Is it over? For real?” Tommy asked in a small voice.

“Its over kitten, he is dead.” Adam said softly. “He can’t ever hurt you again.” He kissed Tommy’s forehead. “I thought you were dead baby. I thought he had hit you.” He thought back to those few seconds of time. Two shots had been fired, the first as Greg was pulling the gun, he accidently fired; the second was right as he aimed at Tommy when the second shot was made by the second baliff shooting Greg. Tommy dove for cover as soon as he saw Greg reaching for the gun and wasn’t injured at all. That wasn’t stopping Adam from worrying over him.

Tommy didn’t think he would ever get over the sound of Adam’s scream of fear. He had been terrified but he wasn’t going to be Greg’s victim again. That scream though, that scream had about broken him. He wrapped his arms tighter around Adam and tucked his head tighter under Adam’s chin. Leila touched Tommy gently. “Tommy honey, let's get you home.” She suggested softly. 

Tommy nodded. “That would be good.” Tommy admitted. “I want a bath, some dinner and snuggles. Then I want to start planning our wedding. I’m ready to be done.”

The district attorney stopped them on the way out. “I interviewed the jury, I just thought you should know that they were all convinced he was guilty. They would have sent him away.” He reached out to pat Tommy’s shoulder but the look of fire in Adam’s eyes stayed his hand. “I just thought you would want to know.” He cleared his throat and moved away.

“Take me home babyboy.” Tommy said softly.

“Anything you want, Kitten.” Adam responded fiercely and picked Tommy up, unwilling to even let him walk.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are. We have reached the end. There will be an epilogue as well but this is the last official chapter. This has been a journey and I am equal parts sad and joyous. As always I do not know or own them and this is all to the best of my knowledge, fiction. Thank you all for your support, your love and your comments. I cherish every single one. Always.

On a warm evening in late October the feminine fingers straightened his tie and Adam looked at his mother. “What time is it?” 

She smiled softly at her son. “It's almost time, love. I’m going to go check on my soon to be son and I will see you in a few minutes.” she kissed his cheek and stepped back. “You look perfect.”

He grinned and bounced lightly on his feet. “Thanks mom.” He turned to the mirror to check his appearance and make sure he was satisfied.

His mother smiled and left the room, moving the white draped linen curtain to enter the room next door. She entered and found Lisa trying to fix Tommy’s tie while he fidgeted. The look on her face said that she was getting frustrated with her brother. Leila gently shooed Lisa’s hands away and deftly fixed his tie. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be with Adam.”

“I was but you are about to be my son too even though I’ve thought of you that way for years anyway but now it will be permanent so I wanted to help you as well.” She patted his cheek and Tommy blinked furiously to stop the tears from forming. “This is where Dia would want me to be too. She would be so happy right now.”

Tommy’s smile was blinding. “Thank you, Leila, for always treating us like family.”

“You are family. You both are. The moment Adam took you into his heart when you met was the moment you became my family too.” She hugged him. “You will be my son, I can’t wait for that moment. Take a few minutes and talk to Lisa or just relax and I will see you in a few, son.”

“Thank you.” Lisa said and Tommy nodded. He turned to the mirror to check his appearance one last time. Lisa kissed his cheek and then she and Leila both slipped out. It was almost time. 

A few moments later the music swelled. The few people on the beach turned and looked up at the balcony. Each man exited their room. They were side by side but separated by a beautiful white draping so that they couldn’t see one another. The each turned to walk down their circular staircase on opposite sides of the back of the house. 

Adam and Tommy’s eyes met as the came together at the bottom. Their eyes drank in the other. Each dressed in a light grey pair of slacks and vest with a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to their forearms and topped off with a sky blue tie. Both were barefoot, and both had light eyeliner on and a single white rose pinned to the breast of their vests. Glancing down they both grinned at the sight of the bare black painted toes. Some things never change. They took each other's hands and intertwined their fingers and as one turned to look at their friends and families.

About 50 feet away their friends stood in a semicircle on the beach. The waves at their back with Sutan at the head of their circle. Adam and Tommy walked forward until they stood in the midst of their friends and the circle closed behind them. Sutan looked at them and smiled. 

“Today we gather in celebration. The culmination of years of love and desire. These two men stand before us seeking not approval but rather seeking their closest friends and family to join in the celebration. They have each spent a lifetime building up to this moment. From the moment Adam called me in a flutter about the new bassist he hired that was his dream guy, I knew that we had crossed a bridge. We have had many ups and downs but I think we all knew where this could lead if only the boys would admit their feelings. They have and so here we are.” He smiled at the two men. 

“Who presents these men to each other, hearts to be warmed no matter how cold the nights may get?”

“We do!” Their friends and family yelled. 

Adam wanted to look around at their small gathering. He wanted to smile at his family. His mother and her new husband, his father and brother, his sister in law and his nephew. Tommy’s sister and her husband and children. Isaac and his family, their therapist and lastly Sutan. A small intimate group of friends and family. Adam wanted to look at them all and thank him for being a part of the happiest moment of his life. He really wanted to, but he couldn't take his eyes off the elfin man in front of him. For the first time in his life, Adam wasn’t gracious about thanking the people around him; he focused on himself and his soon to be husband. Not surprisingly, not one person even noticed.

Tommy’s hair was freshly washed, cut and dyed. The shaved parts kept at the length for the softest feel. The blond was back on the longer parts and it was fluffed out making his hair look super soft and touchable. His eyes were lightly lined with khol just enough to make the brown of his eyes really pop. He had put all his piercings back in. His milky pale skin made the tattoo sleeve stand out in contrast. He was clean shaven and looked utterly and devastatingly delectable. Adam’s eyes caught on Tommy’s lips and without realizing it he leaned slightly forward, only stopping when he felt a hand on his chest and heard the laughter of their loved ones. He blushed slightly. 

“Not yet, loverboy.” Sutan said softly. “You will be married soon.” Adam nodded eagerly and another smattering of giggles broke out. 

Tommy was just as transfixed as Adam was. Adam had brushed his hair back but hadn’t put any product in it, so it looked soft and inviting. He had trimmed his beard so that it was soft and inviting and wonderfully masculine. His eyeliner made the blue of his eyes pop and his tattoos and freckles were on display. Tommy wanted to kiss and suck on that one freckle on Adam’s bottom lip that was always so inviting. If he weren't as excited for this wedding as he was, he would willingly let Adam drag him away for some fun in the sheets when he saw the look in his eye instead he gently halted Adam’s progress with a hand on his chest. He winked when Adam blushed. 

“These men have written their own vows. Adam?” Sutan said, turning attention to Adam. 

“Tommy.” Adam started softly, his voice full of emotion. “From the moment I met you, you have given me everything I could ever want in a partner, friend and lover. You have shown strength, compassion, understanding and courage. You have never cared what people thought of you and you have encouraged me to push the envelope and to be everything that I could be. With you all things have been possible. From the moment you lost yourself in Depeche Mode at the try out I have known that my life would never be the same. From that moment till now and beyond I have loved you and that love has only deepened and grown. You are everything I could ever want or need and I need you like my lungs need oxygen. I pledge myself to you fully and completely with no reservations. No matter what comes, from this day to the end of time you will be my inspiration, my love and my soul. I love you.” Adam smiled as a tears welled in Tommy’s eyes as Adam slid the ring onto Tommy’s finger. They had agreed to let their engagement rings be the flash and had opted for simple platinum bands. 

“Adam.” Tommy said and took a deep breath and with a practiced move flung his head back to get the hair out of his face without letting go of Adam’s hands. Adam grinned. “You amazed, intrigued and captivated me from the moment we met. I knew you would be one of if not THE most important person I had ever met. We quickly became friends and that surety followed. The closer we got the more I became yours. Yours to do with as you wanted. I wanted to fulfill your every need and want, I just didn’t know how to verbalize it and was terrified to lose you if I did verbalize it. I thought we were fragile when we are actually stronger together. We went through such a dark period but even then I knew you were my past and my future all rolled into one gorgeous, talented and compassionate man. You understood me even when I didn't understand myself. I was so lost when we met, trying to figure out where I belonged and then I realized it was right here, beside you. I am yours even when you go grey and can’t hold a tune anymore. I am yours whether it is just the two of us or if we decide to have kids. I know that no matter what happens, if I am with you, then it has been a life well lived.” he smiled and slid the ring onto Adam’s finger. 

“With these vows professed and the rings exchanged, I invite you to cement this new beginning with a kiss.” Sutan said. 

Finally! This he could do for the rest of his life. Adam reached forward and tenderly cupped Tommy’s face, locking the vision into his memory. Finally he leaned forward end claimed those lips. His husband. His Tommy Joe. His glitterbaby forever. Their friends cheered and they smiled. 

An hour later found them on the back deck beside a fire pit. Tommy on Adam’s lap while they talked with whomever was sitting around them at that moment. Leila made sure they each ate food before they drank too much. People circled them, ever moving and the group ever changing. Adam and Tommy stayed where they were. They had rented this house on the California coast so they could hold the wedding here on the beach and make sure that everyone had the room they needed. They would leave for their honeymoon in the morning.

Adam swiped a finger through the icing of his slice of cake but it was intercepted by Tommy on the way to his mouth. His eyes grew hot watching Tommy coyly lick every bit of frosting off. Then Tommy leaned forward to whisper to him. “My husband, how about you take me to bed now. I have a taste for more than frosting.” Tommy peered at Adam through his bangs. Adam had lust battling with love in his eyes.

“Say that again.” Adam said in a husky voice. 

“Take me to bed.” Tommy repeated. 

Adam shook his head. “Not that part.” 

Tommy looked confused for a minute and cocked his head, thinking and going back over what he had said. Then it hit him. He turned to Adam again with a loving smile. “My husband.” The warmth and love that flowed from Adam’s eyes would have warmed the darkest and coldest of nights. Instead of heading for their room as he had intended, Tommy settled himself more firmly on Adam’s lap and cuddled closer. “My husband.” He whispered every so often. Everytime he did, Adam’s smile grew and the hardness beneath him throbbed. It was a tantalizing pleasure pain of a tease to them both. 

By the time Adam was shutting the bedroom door behind them, they both had raging hard ons and were both a bit sloshed. Tommy slinked over to Adam. He hooked a finger in the knot of Adam’s tie and used it to pull the singer in for a fast and dirty kiss. He pulled away leaving Adam panting with a muted whine escaping. Pulling the tie ever so slowly he pulled it out of Adam’s vest and then loosened the tie and pulled it over Adam’s head. Adam cocked his head to the side so that Tommy had access to straighten out his collar. 

“You are my husband now so I should tell you that I have some expectations.” Tommy said softly with a little grin. Adam just cocked an eyebrow and waited for him to continue while his hands pulled Tommy harder against his body. His hands working rapidly to divest them of their clothing. “I expect a thorough and passionate loving anytime you come from the road. I also expect us to play together again sometimes though it doesn't have to be onstage, I just miss the magic. Lastly, I expect us to be together for all holidays and birthdays. Even if that means we have to fly to each other for a only a couple hours together.”

“I miss playing with you.” Adam admitted, while using his body to turn Tommy so his back was to the wall and Adam pressed against his front. He picked up Tommy’s legs and held him in place grinding their cocks together. Tommy moaning was music to his ears. Adam teased him by positioning them and sliding against Tommy’s entrance but not sliding in.“But do you think you will ever be able to get on stage with me while my music plays?” 

Tommy stopped sucking on Adam’s neck and looked up. “I had a thought about that and during our honeymoon I want you to do it.” His eyes closed and he moved his hips trying to get his husbands cock to start moving inside of him. He let out a frustrated whine when it didn’t occur. Adam just smiled.

“What’s that, Kitten?”

“I think we should have your music playing while we make love. Replace those memories with ones of you kissing every inch of me and sliding so deep we are breathing for each other. I kinda fantasize about that.” Tommy admitted. “As long as you are the careful and thoughtful lover you have always been, you’ll know how to handle me. You always do.” Tommy wanted Adam inside him but there was one last thing he needed to say. “Also, I miss you calling me glitterbaby. You don’t have to avoid it anymore. We are past that now.”

“You sure, Glitterbaby?” Adam asked. 

“I’m positive. Now can we consummate this marriage?” 

“Fuck yes!” Adam said in relief. He didn’t move from the wall and instead he thrust in and pressed Tommy against the wall. As Adam slid inside Tommy’s warm body and he felt his lover arch against him he moaned. He took him hard and fast against the wall only to take him slow and romantic in the bed afterward. This is where he wanted to spend the rest of his life. With Tommy. A life well spent indeed.

The End


	41. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the fluffy epilogue of the story, enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say that I didn't realize so many people were attached to Ketsele so with that known now, I will continue that instead of starting something new. However I am actually going to rework it. Haven't decided if I will delete it completely and start over or edit the chapters down but either way you will want to start it over. I will have at least one chapter up/edited before Tuesday. 
> 
> If you like what I write, let me know. All of this is fiction and I make no money from this.

Tommy let his fingers flow over the chords as he played a solo just for fun. He wasn’t practising any really, he was just killing time until his husband got back. Without realizing it, he segued into Fever. He should have been startled when he heard Adam start singing behind him but he had known he was there. He felt the presence of his lover as soon as he entered. They played the song together and enjoyed performing together. Tommy relished it with no fear. No sooner had they finished then Adam was drawing close for a kiss. “I’m excited about tonight.” Adam told him and caressed his cheek. “Finally going back on tour with you.” The room fell away from them and Tommy leaned forward again.

“And I purposely planned your tour so that we could be in The Maldives on our anniversary.”

Adam’s eyes lit up. “Did you now?” He began remembering their honeymoon there and grinned. “Now that sounds like a plan.” he kissed Tommy gently. “Are you happy glitterbaby?”

“Happier than I ever hoped to be.” Tommy answered. “How could I not be? I have everything I could ever want.” He grinned.

“Dadda! Seth is being mean to me!” A little girl hollared.

“Nu uh. I was not, Meg!” A little boy said. 

Tommy and Adam smiled at each other and turned to look at the two children A brown-haired, blue-eyed boy and a red-head, brown-eyed girl. Both children were 4 years of age and they were fraternal twins. Tommy crouched down. “Meg, come here, sweetheart.” The little girl ran over to him and he picked her up with a hug. “Now you promised you were going to behave on tour and we haven’t even left yet.”

“But Dadda, he was saying that you love me more and Daddy loves him more.”  
The boy shuffled his feet nervously. 

“Seth, is that true?” Tommy asked sternly. The boy started shuffling his feet nervously. 

“Maybe…” He mumbled. 

“Seth, you think I don’t love you every ounce as much as Meg? That hurts. You are both my children and I love you both equally.”

“I know...you just don’t hug me as much.” He whined. Tommy got a little smile and handed their daughter off to Adam. 

“Well, I will have to remedy that right now!” Tommy said seriously and grabbed Seth up and alternated between hugging him and tickling him until the boy was howling with laughter. Finally stopping to catch their breath he looked over to see his husband loving on their daughter and whispering in her ear. She giggled. “Daddy! Did Dadda really play guitar with you?”

“All over the world.” Adam answered their daughter. “He was right there with me through it all. You want to learn to play guitar like Dadda?”

“No.” She said with a little grin and shook her head. “I wanna be a princess.” 

Adam kissed his daughter. “You are a princess little one. You can be anything you want to be.” He sat down on the stage and pulled her into his lap, “Seth, come here. You need to hear this too.” Their son came over and sat down too and Tommy sat in front of them, pulling Seth into his arms as well. “We want you to find out what you love to do more than anything else and we want you to work at those things. Whether it is being a Princess or if it is dancing or singing or whatever you want. We want you to be happy in life and your Dadda and I want to make sure you both know you can do anything you put your mind to. But honesty is so important. You remember what we have said about honesty, right?”

Both children nodded solemnly and recited together. “Always tell the truth, its better to be honest and ask forgiveness than to hide it and have to apologize for that too.” Tommy nodded.

“Thats right guys. You know why your Daddy and I stress that so much?” Both kids shook their heads. “Your Daddy and I love each other very much but because we weren’t honest with each other we ended up hurting each other for a long time. Nobody likes to hurt, right?” The kids looked back and forth with wide eyes. “We vowed to never lie to each other again. We don’t want you guys to regret things because you weren’t honest.”

“What’s regret?” Seth asked shyly. 

“It means when you feel bad when you make a mistake or you did something bad.”

“Like when I tripped Seth and he fell and cut his face?” Meg asked with a trembling lip.

“Yes baby girl. Just like that. Remember how bad you felt when he had to get two stitches?” She nodded. “We don’t want you to feel like that more often.”

“Me either.” She answered with the emphatic seriousness of a child. 

“Has anyone seen two little monsters running around?” A woman’s voice called. “I was hoping someone could come with us to the park to feed the geese before dinner.” She stepped out onto the stage with a grin. The kids jumped up.

“Ohhh can we Daddy, Dadda? Please??” Meg begged. Seth sat quietly and sucked his thumb, deep in thought about their conversation. 

Adam smoothed their sons hair back and kissed his forehead, “Go have fun.” He said. The boy stood and then turned and hugged Adam and gave him a kiss on the cheek before repeating the gesture with Tommy. Meg, their ball of energy whirled by and kissed them both before fluttering out. “Thank you, Pam.” he said to the nanny they had hired to tour with them so that they could bring the kids. She smiled and nodded. She had been a good find.

“He’s going to be just like you.” Adam said softly. 

“And she is going to be just like you.” Tommy grinned. “We did good.”

“Yes we did.” Adam stood up and pulled Tommy up and hugged him. “Our twins are amazing.”

“We have everything we could ever want. Now tonight you will join me onstage for my first solo tour in awhile and they will include our new songs.” Adam grinned.

“They are your songs, babyboy.”

“They are OURS and don’t you forget it.” He pulled Tommy closer and kissed him. “I love you. Forever and always.”

“A wonderful way to spend our life indeed.” Tommy smiled.


End file.
